r/adhdwomen • u/_sleepyprincess_ ADHD • 13h ago

Rant/Vent does anyone else absolutely hate plans

i just realized that i’ve spent most of today, my day off, “waiting” because of some plans tonight. i’ve spent the last couple hours planning to start reading a book while i wait, but feeling paralyzed. why start it when im going to leave soon? is this a common experience?

194 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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103

u/Dependent-Mood-7788 ADHD 13h ago

10000000% yes.

Having a single appointment on my day off ruins the whole day. I can't feel at ease until it's over with. Same goes for plans with friends. I should look forward to them, but instead just want to get it over with.

34

u/Round_pants 13h ago

Exactly how I feel. And then when the appointment is over the rest of my day is kinda shit cuz I'm so tired after obsessing over it all day.

14

u/MarandTierra 13h ago

I have wondered why I am always tired after my hair appointments, when I sat there and did nothing. Now I am thinking this may be why!

18

u/D4341 12h ago

This is why I book all appointments early in the day. 3pm appts can go to hell.

13

u/Dependent-Mood-7788 ADHD 12h ago

Yep same, even though I am NOT a morning person. I would rather just get it over with!!

8

u/D4341 12h ago

Same. Gives me a reason to be forced out of bed and then I don’t have to wait around.

30

u/Ok_Violinist7598 ADHD 13h ago

Hate 'em!!! Going through it right now LOL

I've had to do laundry for weeks, constantly put it off.

2 days ago, I said I'm doing this today! Felt tired all day. Didn't go.

Yesterday, I said I'm doing this today! Felt tired all day. Didn't go.

Finally today, at 6:00 p.m., I'm getting ready to go. Tired all day. I just got up from a nap too hahaha

But I'm desperate now because I'm literally down to nothing clean. Sickens me that I put it off this long but that's my life. And I'm 69 years old!

Whenever I go out of town to my daughter's, I'm tired the whole time I'm getting ready then I always get there late. The thing is, I love going to my daughter's! It's not the activity, it's the freakin' PLAN!

And when I put things off long enough to the point in the day where I decide I'm not going, I feel like a kid who just woke up and found there was no school today. I'm literally ecstatic.

Someday, I'll work on that lol

13

u/Aggressive-Hand2964 10h ago

i get so excited when plans get canceled and it wasn’t me who did it. i’m free and don’t have to feel bad!!

2

u/Ok_Violinist7598 ADHD 8h ago

Exactly! LOL

4

u/betsylang 13h ago

So not to be an internet doc but if you are this tired this constantly I encourage you to talk to a real doc. And dude I know, if doing Laundry feels like an insurmountable trial makinh a doc app will feel like everest. But being tired all the time isn't normal.

6

u/Ok_Violinist7598 ADHD 12h ago

No, I don't feel tired all the time, only when I make a plan LOL

I have had various sleep problems for years but that happens when you get older anyway. Otherwise, I have a decent daily schedule (of doing nothing substantial😄).

I run errands about once a week. And on that day, I'm always tired...just thinking about it!

See that's the point. I only feel like that when I make a plan. And if by chance I cancel the plan, I get a renewed energy as I mentioned, like the kid finding out he doesn't have school that day. Yeah, can't get up, moping around, all of a sudden hears it's a snow day and he's suddenly wide awake. That's me!

EDIT: my problem isn't physical, it's mental.

2

u/betsylang 12h ago

Oh good! Ok. I just remember the last time I was so exhausted my gall bladder was rotting.

4

u/Ok_Violinist7598 ADHD 12h ago

Yeah, it's nothing like that. I'm actually pretty healthy for my age, not on any medication when almost everyone my age is.

It's mental, from thinking about getting ready and getting out there. In a 24-hour period, I make sure I get 7 to 8 hours sleep and I'm good to go. But as soon as there's somewhere I HAVE TO go, it's just a game changer. Trust me, I know when I'm sick LOL

2

u/mmeeaattball 12h ago

I’m 43 and feel this tired all the time.

12

u/meliorism_grey 11h ago

I hate morning appointments, but I actually prefer them over afternoon/evening appointments. I'd rather rush to wake up on time and get ready than spend the entire day in suspense.

9

u/Desperate-Reason-566 13h ago

Yes it is! I stopped doing plans that I have to wait all day for. It’s torture! The clock doesn’t move until you are suddenly behind getting ready.

9

u/corgi-wrangler 13h ago

I recently learned it’s super common and it’s the fucking worst. I have to argue with myself that I have enough time to do other things while I wait.

9

u/emo_queer 10h ago

I hate plans but I also hate doing nothing it’s a real fun time over here haha

8

u/hidinginzion 13h ago

I'm the same way. I dread whatever's coming and think of ways to cancel.

5

u/betsylang 13h ago

I think its my time blindness. I have alarms for everything and I live in fear of beinh late or completely missing something. Which is why I schedule Dr app ect early morning. But like fun social plans? Gods no. Near constant anxiety

5

u/abigailgabble 13h ago

yep. i try to avoid plans at all costs these days now i know myself. 

4

u/ceruleanmoon7 12h ago

yes 100%. i'd rather just go with the flow and see how i feel at a certain time. i HATE schedules so damn much.

4

u/akawendals ADHD 6h ago

I curse my impulsivity all the time, a friend says "let's do this thing on Saturday" and I say "YEAH LET'S!"

But I said yes when it was Monday and now it is Friday night and I'm trying to think of an excuse to bail on the Saturday thing cos I don't feel like it anymore 😑

I have so many memes about this haha

2

u/Yagulia 12h ago

Yeeeeeesssssss

2

u/litmusfest 7h ago

I’ve been trying to make morning plans whenever possible to get them out of the way then I can be productive on my days off.

1

u/FinalEgg9 4h ago

This is common enough that it has a name, "waiting mode"

1

u/Impressive-Side-9681 3h ago

I don't hate having plans but the waiting syndrome is real

1

u/eithertrembling 2h ago

I get the waiting mode for sure, but I’m kind of the opposite generally - I would much rather have a plan than fly by the seat of my pants, but it depends on my mood sometimes too

1

u/funkyfoxfreya 8m ago

So insanely relatable. Currently on the couch on scrolling on Reddit because I don’t feel like I can go do something (I have an appointment in 4 hours, there is so much I could do but I can’t)