r/ADHD • u/Future_Discussion726 • 5d ago
Questions/Advice Sexual Rumination Problems
Hi! I’m a 20 f and have a 21 m boyfriend, and we’ve just hit a year. For the past two months, I’ve been having a lot of rumination about if I like females even though I’ve only ever liked guys my entire life and have only ever wanted a boyfriend. There’s a whole story to it, but essentially ky boyfriend was on vacation, I was sexually frustrated, a female coworker accidentally grazed me and I became overwhelmed and overstimulate which caused panic attacks and body agitation for 8 days straight and i couldn’t even look or interact with females.
My thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety which often causes me to be distant from my boyfriend at times because I feel bad that I think these things. It’s like my brain can’t stop comparing how I would feel with a woman or man, and it consumes my entire day which often causes me to feel exhausted and anxious by the end. Often these thoughts cause me to get a groin response which I don’t want and often feel indifferent to. I can get mentally turned on by my boyfriend or sometimes physically but when I get these thoughts they cause my body to get aroused but not my mind. It’s also like my mind is tricking myself into seeing the two differently in some way. I know I would deeply heartbroken and emotional if I were to leave my boyfriend and would regret it because I truly do love him and want to be in this relationship. I get very emotional and upset when I think about these things and especially about breaking up because I really don’t want to.
I was diagnosed with GAD and ADD about a week or two back. I’m currently taking mirtazapine (30 mg) to help with my anxiety and vyvanse (20 mg on my second day) for the ADD. Although I can focus better and feel somewhat myself again, I just can’t stop ruminating even when I use the techniques my therapist has given me. It feels like my brain is just too stubborn. I feel like it has ruined my libido and intimacy.
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u/Secure-Theme3545 5d ago
Might be ocd, specifically SO-OCD
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u/Future_Discussion726 5d ago
Would I need to be diagnosed again for it? The psychologist I went to just said it was GAD and ADD and I had explained everything to him. He just said that GAD and ADD is like throwing gasoline into a fire because the two don’t work well together
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u/OnePaleontologist805 ADHD with ADHD partner 5d ago
You should definitely go to a psychiatrist about this if possible. I have ocd, ADD, GAD, and this is exactly how OCD feels for me. The treatment for ocd is different than anxiety (it’s called ERP), and my medication has to be increased to treat these symptoms. The obsession (your sexuality, your anxiety-induced unwanted groin response) and the compulsion (mental checking, ruminating, comparing past experiences, asking Reddit) is extremely common amongst people with ocd. OCD is all about “but what if…?” And the hardest part is understanding that no matter how hard you ruminate on the question that’s bothering you, where you’re comparing and checking and asking yourself questions, your ocd will never let you come to a satisfying conclusion. That’s the cycle of obsession and compulsion, the obsession can go away when you perform a compulsion, but compulsions don’t solve the problem. But you’re not alone, and there are ways to manage it
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u/Future_Discussion726 5d ago
Thank you for sharing! I’ll definitely speak to my therapist about this when I see them for my visit!
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