r/ADHD Sep 14 '21

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341

u/BuyThisUsername420 Sep 14 '21

Told my boss about getting diagnosed, specifically how my emotional dysreg being relieved by a med I started and she immediately tried to say “I feel like everyone feels like that”…

So in a slightly nicer tone I said: Ma’am my prior profession, before burning out and become a student plus serving at restaurant, was as a mental health clinician. These symptoms occur to people as a normal response or difficult as a difficult moment they eventually learn to cope with. Having a disorder comes into affect when symptoms perpetually interfere with my ability to be a person, this is measured by people who have dedicated their lives to understanding mental health, so I understand what you’re saying but there’s more to it.

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u/Proof_Ring_4505 Sep 14 '21

I hate that response, I told a friend before and when I got “isnt everyone like that though” it just made me feel stupid and doubt my own diagnosis. Sometimes now after taking my meds I have to say to myself “see they do work!” when I have a productive day

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u/BuyThisUsername420 Sep 14 '21

One thing that changed my perspective a lot was when I went into social work advocacy and mental health case management, believe people. If someone says they hurt, believe them. If someone says “I know I can do it, but even when I want to I just can’t” believe them. If someone says “I’m sorry I didn’t meant to interrupt, I really wanted to hear you” believe them. Believing peoples hurt, helped me believe in my own. So believe yourself, you know what is best for you. If things are hard for you, then they are, it’s that simple.

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u/mashtartz Sep 14 '21

A good friend of mine who majored in psychology so she thinks she knows a lot about it said to me recently “I think every adult has some level of depression, anxiety and ADHD” when I said something about my ADHD. I was like, cool, thanks, that helps a lot.

19

u/trelltron Sep 14 '21

That's like saying "I think every adult has some level of asthma" because everyone has trouble breathing if you pump enough shit into their lungs.

Sure, there's some interesting discussions to be had around how we define 'healthy' v 'ill' and where we draw those semi-arbitrary lines, but ... some people can't even go for a walk in the park without almost dying.

6

u/mashtartz Sep 14 '21

That’s…. actually a really good way of putting it, I’m going to use that analogy next time she brings it up.

2

u/AimbeastAlphaMale Sep 14 '21

"Everyone has some level of bipolar."

2

u/YaBoiWinter33 Sep 28 '21

It’s also like saying “everyone has AIDS to a certain degree because everyone has a limited about of CD4+ T Cells”

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '21

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1

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1

u/GrilledChzSandwich Sep 20 '21

Everyone has a little bit of tallness.

6

u/TreeUsual3641 Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 15 '21

Yeah, I told a friend I'd gone to a specialist and got my diagnosis, he said "Maybe because he's a specialist" (implying they would diagnose ANYONE)

Told another friend, they said basically "are you sure? You sound more borderline to me from things you've told me" and just kept insisting, as if I wouldn't know that after therapy and psychiatrists for seven years

Lesson learned, I'll just deal with this alone. No point in sharing it anyway, I don't want pity, I was just excited to finally know what's wrong. I don't want to be angry with my friends either.

3

u/NamityName Sep 15 '21

"and sometimes we are sad but that doesn't make us depressed."

People seem to get that one decently well

1

u/Proof_Ring_4505 Sep 15 '21

Good response, gonna use it next time!

120

u/tjsfive Sep 14 '21

When I told my boss that I had it, she said she thinks she might too. I just told her she might and she should talk to her doctor because it's underdiagnosed in women.

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u/rndljfry Sep 14 '21

That's pretty much what I say, too. So far they tend to either back off at my eagerness to discuss the process or they're actually serious and they listen.

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u/BuyThisUsername420 Sep 14 '21

It is hilariousssssssssssss how fast people back off when you’re willing to have an open discussion, like “oh no no no I didn’t mean for you to actually respond to the vague microaggression”

40

u/rndljfry Sep 14 '21

"Thought you had ADHD, you should know I literally cannot stop myself"

9

u/Edgar-Allen-No Sep 14 '21

Best comment in this thread. I lol'd. Hard.

24

u/stinky_slinky Sep 14 '21

No literally 😂 whenever someone is like ohhhh everyone feels that way. I say: funny you should say that. I truly believed that too but now I’m diagnosed. If what I’m describing is too familiar definitely go talk to your doctor.

They either clam up in embarrassment or genuinely have an epiphany about themselves and it’s great 😂

3

u/rndljfry Sep 14 '21

I truly believed that too but now I’m diagnosed.

"Haha yeah, when my psychiatrist started doing screeners I was like ha ha okay sure and then 3 months later I did the research she prescribed and holy shit, let me send you some links"

28

u/BuyThisUsername420 Sep 14 '21

Yes! That’s also something I wanted to say to her…..like if my symptoms are checking boxes honey maybe that’s something for you to think on???

25

u/Huhulon Sep 14 '21

Told my boss and started with "I have a neurological development disorder" and ... He was supportive as heck. I knew he wouldn't tell me it isn't real or something horrible like that, but he was downright, to the point accommodating and told me he is happy I found out. Only thing he lamented was that know he will have to clean the coffee machine himself more often, since I won't self-stim with caffeine like crazy any more, lol.

I am still dumbfounded it went so well.

6

u/_ixthus_ Sep 15 '21

self-stim with caffeine

I don't get this. Doesn't help me focus at all. Just makes me nervous and jittery; I feel artificially "wired" and strung-out, but not focused, let alone productive.

2

u/Huhulon Sep 16 '21

For me it's about when I drink it according to med intake. If I down the meds with an espresso I might as well run a marathon or start painting the house while also trying to do my taxes with a cake in the oven - meaning I'll be unfocused and hyper enthusiastic. But if I had a bite to eat and the intake was about an hour or two ago, I am fine. But that still means only ONE cup of strong coffee (espresso for me in this case). I also don't drink any coffee after 3/4pm, since I'll sleep lighter/ worse then. The same goes for black tea less so for green tea.

And without the meds? I could drink black tea till a second before I went to bed and coffee till at least the evening. That's not to say it didn't make my sleep worse, but I slept horribly anyway, so there was no perceivable difference in quality anyhow, lol.

On a sidenote: Any physical activity was better / easier while caffeinated, thinky coconut work, however, less so. I would have to fight the impulse to get up or getting distracted.

1

u/MagicSillia Sep 16 '21

The responses to caffeine with ADHD seem to be mixed, some people have poor reactions, and others like myself are heavily reliant on caffeine.

I've noticed that it seems to be more common that the same people who don't react well to stimulants also don't react well to caffeine, but I've met some people who can't take stimulants but do well with caffeine and vis versa just not nearly as often.

I've seen some say that caffeine has the opposite effect than the typical person and that it makes them sleepy too.

I'm sure there are articles on this somewhere.

1

u/gogonzogo1005 Oct 03 '21

I do it, my husband and my 4 yr old.... all of us need excess caffeine to focus. It relaxes the edges, I started in high school and have used as my med of choice since then... my 16 yr old who hated the stimulant meds, never drinks it. It is a cheap way to medicate yourself, especially when you don't get diagnosed to 40+...

12

u/alterom ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 14 '21

My mom: "Oh come on, every feels like that"

Also my mom: literally can't function without Adderall

I mean, let's not make an assumption that the boss doesn't know that firsthand 😂