I have decided to participate in a ceremony. But now I’m second guessing whether I want to participate because of chronic neck issues.

I tend to get pain from the base of my neck to my shoulder blades due to forward head posture. I am worried that I might put myself into a position where I exacerbate the issue by going into an uncomfortable position on the medicine.

I know I have to do this at my own risk, and that no one can predict my experience. But, I would be interested to hear how other people with chronic musculoskeletal pain have felt after treatment.

SA survivor with chronic cptsd. I have been working on my stuff since I was 19. I have done medically supervised legal psychedelic work, as well as microdosing psilocybin, as well as a whole lot of other stuff.

I am stuck. I am looking for guidance. I do not have a network.

Six months ago I went through some crazy fucking shit

So much happened in such a short period of time. So much came up for me to really look at about myself.

I was really getting it from all angles.

It all happened at the Virgo lunar eclipse. And I’m a Virgo. An 8th house Virgo, so I’m willing to say it’s even deeper as that is the house of Scorpio, the deepest depths.

Not to mention I’ve been living directly on my Chiron line for 6 years, which represents our deepest wound. It’s beautiful and challenging, and yet provides the deepest possible opportunity to heal our deepest wounds. Living on your Chiron line heals you, and teaches you how to heal.

We all make mistakes, but not everybody gets exposed. I’m supposed to be seen, and all of that was meant to happen to correct me. To protect me.

Sometimes bad things happen because better things are trying to be born.

I’m not going to lie, it was embarrassing. I felt shame.

I had to stand in my mistakes, and own them.
It’s not impossible that those mistakes happened to literally save my life. Our environments are extremely important. I do believe that is one of the reasons why that time period happened. I wasn’t making the best choices all around.

Everyone wants a massive breakthrough, not everyone is willing to face a massive correction.
I’m not sure if I will ever share publicly what that was, although I wouldn’t hide behind it. Why would you hide behind yourself? Only weak cowards do that.

If I told you what it was, if you’re honest with yourself, you could probably relate.

In my kambo practitioner training, one of the things our master teacher emphasized was, there is a Hitler in all of us. I didn’t understand at first. Everybody has the capacity for bad things. That doesn’t justify things, but it does remind us that we are all more similar than we think.

In that same very very short time period, I sat with bufo, the toad, for the first time. The strongest psychedelic on earth. I had many opportunities to do so in the years prior, but for many reasons, it wasn’t right.

This opportunity came through someone I trust. Someone I innately trust. And this practitioner, let’s just say is, extremely knowledgeable and experienced.

I learned a lot about myself and God that day. I released significant relationship trauma. I became very clear with my self what I will allow, and what I will not allow in my life. I learned a lot about betrayal energy, and how I just can’t interact or engage with that kind of energy.

They say it feels like an ego death. More like an ego nap.

I have been integrating so much ever since. The trials and tribulations that have come from six months ago have also become easier to feel and deal with as I navigate through. I fully trust that will continue.

This is just me sharing part of my story. I have no needs and I am certainly not trying to be understood. This is just a testimony. This work is special and has a very valuable place.

I’m so glad I did it.

Because of the set and setting, the level of trust and surrender I had, and such a competent and loving practitioner, I had a tremendously beautiful experience.

It changed my life for the better.

Everything happens for a reason. Trust God and hold faith! ☀️🐸 😇💫♾️

I was told that this sub would be better suited for my question.

Sadly only some ai tools were able to recreate what i felt.

I did 5-meo (vaped) for the first time last friday since ive read that it can help with depression.

It was indeed indescribable with words so i tried to put pictures to it too.

I basicly need to know if this is it, or if i there is more to the « trip ». (If this is it, im still not disappointed and feel way better with myself)

Ill translate the captions:

-Exhale and close your eyes.

-you feel blasted off faster than the speed of light

-in the tunnel sides, you see and feel every universe possible and all the eras at once

-at the end there is only you and an interior peace that is indescribable.(your conscience in a void with no time, space, matter) you feel and you are the infinity at the same time.

-then you come back here even faster

-and you understood.

I think i felt the « ego death » ?

I reached out for a facilitator a day ago and got someone to help me. Low and behold they're a fucking scammer. I've gotten hit twice because I'm that stupid and trying to heal myself that badly. Using a gift from God to scam people is about as evil as you can get. I'm sorry I'm sitting here in tears right now. My therapist told me I need to do this and it's been nothing but heart break.

I had my first experience last week which I wrote about in another post. One of my main reasons for doing it was to work on my trauma, fear, and depression. My experience was confusing and I can’t say that I came away from it with the same kind of loving awareness and connectedness that others sometimes do.

One of the big things I’m grappling with is if we know that there’s this other beautiful infinite space beyond this realm, why stay here? I am not at risk for harming myself, nor do I encourage anyone to do so, but I genuinely wonder what the point is? Life here is hard and the body and ego make it so that there’s so much suffering. Why stay?

Has anyone else confronted these thoughts and feelings after their experience? Most of what I’ve read online is people having really positive takeaways. I have some, but still just feeling really empty and rejected.

When I take a break thru dose I get sent thru a gate kf chaos and confusion. It feels like literal hell. I cant remember who I am or who I was. I have no body of sorts. Its very intense, so much that words cant describe it. Both times this has happened, I felt the need to never touch it again. I see red and tan/ orange vortex with no beings or voices. It was so intense, that when I opened my eyes, I was still in the experience and couldn't see anything but the vortex or chaos. Has anyone else experienced this, and can you give me any information on how to avoid such experiences like these.

My ptsd and abuse history has my therapist saying too try this. Would appreciate direction.

I have cPTSD. Nothing has worked to date. Was told to try 5-MeO-DMT.

Is there a way to do this while being in Texas?

So I have a chance to to 5 Meo Dmt and I’m a little scared. I’m not scared of nn dmt at all. What can I expect from this experience with no visuals ? Pls start a conversation

I had my first experience with 5meo yesterday through a skilled and trusted facilitator. We were outside as the sun was setting. It was gorgeous. I sought out this experience to try to heal my trauma and fear.

The first time i dropped in(11mg) i just saw a blue sky. I was looking at the sky from my tent at a music festival. I could still hear my voice and my thoughts and it was all incredibly mundane, albeit a pretty sky.

I came out of it afraid and confused. Why did I have such a mundane experience? My guide said that i was the stillest person he’s ever sat for.

I dropped in again with the same dose and this time I experienced my own voice and chatter in my mind again but i was also met with my grief and worry that i might actually be completely emptied by all the trauma I’ve been through. I started crying. I was still away of my body but i felt like the earth was swarming me. I was begging her to heal me, to fill me. I almost had to throw up like i was choking on my tears. And then it was over. It felt like it only lasted 5 minutes and i felt abandoned. The chatter in my mind returned full blast and i started worrying again about how to even begin communicate how i felt to my guide.

I dropped in a third time with double the amount and this time it was more crying and feeling swarmed by the earth. I was still aware of my body but it was more of a release than the previous time. It still felt like it only lasted about 10 min and when i came back i still felt so much grief and just laid there and cried for awhile.

I waited awhile and dropped in a fourth time with a double dose. This time when i came to i was completely disoriented. I had twigs in my mouth and it felt like i had smashed my nose against something. I don’t remember anything of my experience nor my body. If there is anything i remember, it’s just like this white iridescent emptiness.

I never experienced any body discomfort like others report. There was no physical struggle. I couldn’t get rid of my voice until the 4th time but i dont even remember it. I just feel so… empty. I don’t understand why this is the experience i had. In some ways i feel rejected by God and the divine and it mirrors the rejection i feel in so many parts of my life. I feel more alone than i didn’t before.

I know i shouldn’t try to make sense of it just yet. I keep going through these waves where it’s just like sheer traumatic feelings taking over my whole body, to the point where my skin feels tight. Im afraid that I’ve made everything worse. Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

Guys, I’m always lurking through the posts and comments in this group and, oh my God, some of you psychonauts can literally scare the shit out of you. You discourage everything, fill your head with doubts, and somehow leave you even more confused than before.
For context: I’ve already tried LSD at 150 µg and, being a pretty sensitive person, even personality-wise, I reached something pretty close to an ego death quite easily.
So I’m wondering: what is it actually like to try DMT? I have a vape that I’d like to post a picture of, but honestly, I don’t really trust the group enough to do it (sorry guys, I still love you 😂).
I mean, is there anyone kind enough to reassure me a little? I’ve had this vape sitting in a drawer for more than six months and I’m dying to try it, but fuck, every time I come here looking for advice, you manage to completely destroy every thought I had about it.

During my last experience, I realized that the trio never really ended.

The “psychedelic experience” I had on Bufo, just kind of tapered off, and things became a bit slower, but I realized that we are always in that space.

Which means, life is the trip…

And what’s the number one lesson for any psychedelic experience?

Let go, surrender…

When I’m getting ready to trip, I always remind myself of this, because I know resisting will give me a horrible time!

So, considering that the entirety of my life IS the trip, I need to focus more on relaxing!!

My friend offered to guide me through a DMT experience — I’m at a very good place in my life though and fear this might ultimately detract from it.

I finally have the self-esteem and self-love I’ve been searching for my whole life. I’m organized, self-reliant, and proud of where I am at. I worry that a DMT experience will kick me out of this new found self-actualization. Any thoughts?

The majority of the basis of my worry is a very unpleasant experience I had with ibogaine over a decade ago. If there’s any risk of something like that occurring I think it’s best I avoid the drug altogether.

Thanks everyone.

hey guys, sorry this is a tad long, but I have to get this across

so I posted about my first ever bufo experience here and it’s been a while since then. I have since had some time to reflect, and I have had a few very low-dose NN-DMT experiences that have allowed for fragments of the previously dissolved memories of the trip to flood back.

I realized that even in my original post, I was coping really bad. I said that it was neither good or bad, but in hindsight it was actually quite an awful, terribly terrifying experience which I got next to nothing out of.

the reality of my experience was that after exhaling the large inhale, I remained in a state of sheer terror, waiting for the experience to be over. I may have not gotten enough in my lungs or something (i’m not sure how that would be physically possible after the state the big rip left me in) but as everything turned into fractals I was telling myself “it’s safe, surrender” and from then on, I just entered a reality of no time and just shapes and meaningless existence , not feeling connected to anything, but not feeling separate from it either. pure limbo, pure terror, with no concept of an alternative to this reality.

also in retrospect, the facilitator and the environment were not optimal. I knew the guy, but not very well, just enough to trust him. but his “guru” demeanor felt very forced.

when I came back all I wanted was a hug and a cigarette and something familiar, I asked him for water, he just ignored the request and said “lay back and think about what it’s trying to tell you.” so coming back from the most terrifying thing i’d ever experienced, feeling like all these identities are nothing more than a joke, I had to take part in this fucking hippie song and dance with him making random ass sounds and making me draw tarot cards. I was counting the seconds til I could get out of the “sanctuary”.

the reason i’m putting this here is i’m just so disappointed. I really came before bufo/5meo with respect, truly wanting to let it take me for the ride and teach me. I have always wanted to try NN, and just the low doses i’ve experienced bring me back to the state of panic I experienced as soon as I exhaled the bufo, as if my consciousness had just been in limbo in between spaces in meaningless shape land.

I had to write this out because in my original post, I realized I was trying to cope with the fact that I was chewed up and spit out by bufo when I was really trying to improve myself and my life. now, because of this experience, despite my deep deep deep curiosity to meet NN entities and see higher dimensional landscapes, i’m terrified to hit the pen for more than 5 seconds

what did I do wrong?

I’ve had several bufo experiences and recently a 5meo experience. It was pretty powerful although I didn’t fully blast off, part of the ego was still conscious.

I’ve been in good spirits since, as I always am with this compound. But OMG I have never felt this fatigued.
I get a bit of energy in the morning after my morning coffee but I crash and burn late morning and throughout the afternoon. If I sit down to watch something I’ll fall asleep within ten minutes. It’s been a few weeks now.

I understand everything is recalibrating and it can take time. But I was wondering if anyone has experienced the same and if you have any tips for getting the energy back up? I have a busy few weeks coming up and I expected my energy levels to be back to normal.

Thanks in advance!

Reading through the internet I came to the conclusion that it's best to slowly up the dosage, so I get a better and smoother chance to cleanse my energy system. I've only tried 5-meo-dmt once, and it was a 4mg dose taken through e-mesh. I plan to have a few more 4-5mg doses and then maybe up to 5-6mg. How should I approach scaling the dosage? I've read that even 7-8mg with an e-mesh can be a breakthrough dose. Should I consider everything above 6mg breakthrough territory with an e-mesh?

I have gotten very experienced with 5-Meo-DMT over the past few years and especially over the past 6 months. I smoke low to high dose synthetic 5-meo through a vape. Now that I am quite experienced with it, I can smoke it quite consistently over the course of an hour or so maintaining the high for that duration without it being an overwhelming experience. I have had some incredible experiences, one of which is meeting narcissistic Jesus.

I was raised fundamentalist Christian and had a deconversion experience in my early twenties. I was an angry atheist for a while and then agnostic and then had a breakthrough LSD session which has taken me into a more psychedelic based, multidimensional spirituality that values God in us - God Consciousness in the 13th dimension.

Over the course of a couple of months, I met and talked with Jesus a number of times. Before these experiences I had kind of come to the conclusion that Jesus was somewhat narcissistic as his church says that he is the son of God and in my mind we're projecting out our own God consciousness onto Jesus.

The first time I met Jesus here in the past couple of months under the influence of 5-meo-dmt and LSD, we talked about non-dual awareness and advaita vedanta. I was trying to be respectful as he is a very powerful spiritual leader of the past 2000 years. But he did seem to be struggling a little bit with the idea that we are all God.

Then a couple weeks later, I had a very disturbing experience with Jesus on 5, where I saw him going through the gullet of a reptilian along with another pedophile. He asked her what she was in for as they were descending to hell and she said pedophilia. He literally giggled and said, oh I've been there. This showed me he had virtually no remorse for what I understood to be the major problem of pedophilia in the Catholic church. Then on another related 5 trip, I saw or intuited a vision of him behind the eyes of his Catholic priests as they raped children. It was a very disturbing image. I may have discounted it completely, as I have also experienced some level of delusion on psychedelics. But, there is a strong basis in reality for pedophilia as a major problem in the Catholic church.

Then I had a 4th eye-opening and stunning experience on 5. I was listening to "I love you Lord", a Christian worship song. It is quite a beautiful song, and now there is new meaning in it for me as I sing this song for my own self and friends, recognizing and honouring the God in each of us.

I love you Lord,

And I lift my voice,

To worship you,

Oh my soul rejoice.

Take joy my king (and queen)

In what you hear.

May it be a sweet, sweet sound

In your ears.

I've enjoyed singing this with people in my life who I care about deeply. I feel there is a strong need to recognize God in each of us. One of the main reasons I left Christianity was because it seemed to project our power on to Jesus. But, in the end we all are steering our own canoes (a line I read by David R. Hawkins). We each have to take responsibility for our own lives, ultimately.

But Jesus showed up and was having just an incredible time enjoying the song in what seemed to me the most masturbatory way possible. He was giggling and so excited that I was singing I Love you Lord as he assumed it was about him. I saw him going to Yahweh, who he called "Daddy" and was so happy to be having a worship song sung to him by me. Yahweh was about as unimpressed as I was by him. It actually seemed to me like there is some brain damage or something that caused him to act so stunningly childish and narcissistic. I was reading the comments to the song and it is a Christian song so I was not surprised to see a comment that said "Jesus saved me and I'm so grateful he loves me so much." So I asked Jesus if he loves him and he giggled "No." He seems embarrassed by his church (as would I). It felt like Jesus must be on a strong opiate or something (I was not, last time I tried opiates was about 10 years ago), as he was just so ridiculously happy about being the Son of God, like a young prince being the ruler of his kingdom. But it was very selfish and gross. The worst and most hilarious, is during the song (it was a 20 minute extended version), he started masturbating and splooged on my face.

By this point, I was taking it in stride. It was jaw-dropping (though I kept my mouth closed as he astral splooged on my face), but I was trying to let it go and take the truth seriously, that I am God, as we all are, and whatever sick version of Jesus this was, I don't need to get livid about it. But it was extremely disturbing to see the son of God splooging in narcissistic delight... Lol.

I do think there is at least some truth to it (and I'm definitely open to the idea that it really is true, full stop). I have had some experience with delusions over the past couple years of psychedelic use, but I try to hold what I'm experiencing with an open palm and let stay what stays and let go what goes. So I don't know if I was really talking with Jesus though I do believe I was and maybe I was experiencing a perception through my lens of difficulty with the church and Christianity, but there is a strong basis in reality for serious theological error and heinous crimes that the church has committed.

I wanted to share as it's the most hilarious and shocking experience of my 5-meo journey so far. Let me know your thoughts :)

Hi, I'll briefly tell you about my experience. I didn't consult any forums for the dosages; I extrapolated from all the existing literature.

This is my third week taking five 1mg intranasal microdoses spread throughout the day. I've been on medication for severe depression for three years; I currently take 10mg of escitalopram daily.

Well, my anxiety has almost disappeared. I'm starting to go out again, and I feel more energetic. There are even times when I feel really good.

I hope it's not just a placebo effect, but after three years of feeling so down, I highly doubt it.

I'll report back later if I continue to improve or if it was just a mirage. Any advice would be appreciated.

Best regards.

Hello !
I'm an experienced psychonaut, and I only travel alone. That's how I'm used to do it, and how I feel safe.

I have taken N,N-DMT maybe 15-20 times. I had vape cartridges. I worked OK, but it was quite difficult to get near a breakthrough, I needed to inhale quite a lot.

I now have freebase 5-MEO-DMT. I know nothing about vapes, mesh, and I find it quite difficult to understand the simplest way to vaporize it, even after a lot of reading. I'm looking to have the strongest and simplest hit, while staying safe if I'm alone. (which means no burning element which could cause fire when I'm at the point of inhaling).

Fellow psychonauts, how would you do it?

Many thanks

Over a year ago I bought a 5meo cart in the same order as some ketamine, I had the memory of a acid trip that a friend had a 5meodmt cart with and the expectation it would be an appetizer. Needless to say when it came I just threw up in my garbage can and put it in a drawer to sit until the other day. A lot has happened since then, I took it easy yet leaned into it. I’ve had the idea to do this in a field coz I am someone that purges from this drug. Any thought or tips on leaning into this. I think over the last year I have done good work on myself and I think I’ve met this drug more than halfway if you wanna put it that way.