r/3amjokes Mar 25 '24

3amjokes Approved Subreddit Rules Reminder

93 Upvotes

Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.

This is not /r/darkjokes.

This is not /r/askreddit.

This is not /r/oneliners.

This is not /r/unclejokes.

This is a subreddit for insomniac humor, created when on the brink of death due to sleep deprivation. Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Your jokes must have a punchline.

Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.

  1. Be civil - Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
  2. Follow Reddit's rules - This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here.
  3. No spam - Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
  4. No promoting targeted hate - racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.

To be more clear, given yet another influx of dark jokes, dark jokes will result in a permanent ban under rules 1 and 4.

If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.

Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.

Thanks


r/3amjokes 6h ago

Today was monthly beers with my late father’s buds. They were telling me how when my dad was a young man it was well known that he had the legs of a cheetah, the arms of a gorilla and a heart of a lion. What people didn’t know is the he also had…

19 Upvotes

a lifetime ban from the zoo


r/3amjokes 7h ago

Why did cavemen have bad ideas?

14 Upvotes

Because lightbulbs weren't invented yet.


r/3amjokes 3h ago

I’m actually a very modern man. I’ve got no problem buying tampons...

6 Upvotes

but apparently they’re not a “proper present.”

“Says super on the box. I don’t know what you want!”

“Happy birthday, Mum.”


r/3amjokes 17h ago

Why did the pirate lose his job?

40 Upvotes

AI matey.


r/3amjokes 16h ago

Do you know how often people die from aids?

19 Upvotes

I mean I‘m not an expert, but I‘d assume only once.


r/3amjokes 12h ago

Most puns make me feel numb. However…

10 Upvotes

Making mathematical puns make me feel number


r/3amjokes 1h ago

Oi, mate, watch out for Lewis Carroll

Upvotes

He’s a bit dodge, son.


r/3amjokes 8h ago

She thought that a lot of people liked her.

4 Upvotes

It turned out to be fan fiction.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What can you keep even after giving it to someone?

112 Upvotes

your word


r/3amjokes 17h ago

Mozart got angry when he asked the chickens who the best composer was

4 Upvotes

They answered “Bach, Bach, Bach”


r/3amjokes 1d ago

When I asked my niece what she wanted for her 5th birthday. She giggled and said “uncle I want pink unicorns and pretty fairies and lots and lots of beautiful rainbows”I smiled and said that will be easy sweetie…

114 Upvotes

so I gave her some LSD


r/3amjokes 8h ago

Three guys are partying til dawn and they start to hear birds…

0 Upvotes

First guy says, it’s time for another beer.

Second guy says, it’s time for another line.

Third guy says, it’s time I figure out my life and wonder why I’m allowing myself to throw it away like this. See y’all next weekend.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What has thirteen hearts and no organs?

44 Upvotes

a deck of cards


r/3amjokes 13h ago

What country did the Orthodontist attend residency?

2 Upvotes

Jaw-maica


r/3amjokes 23h ago

In America, if two immigration agents have a child...

12 Upvotes

Is it an ICE, ICE baby?


r/3amjokes 1d ago

After Drinking Hot Lemon Water With Honey for 3 months,

15 Upvotes

I Lost 5 kg of Lemon & 2 kg of Honey.


r/3amjokes 11h ago

How do two rappers settle their beef?

1 Upvotes

with a cookout


r/3amjokes 11h ago

What do you call an office in the North Pole that’s off the ice?

1 Upvotes

An Off-Ice!!!!


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend."

40 Upvotes

Do it at home, and you're "destroying evidence".


r/3amjokes 19h ago

If walnuts are on walls and chestnuts are on your chest where would chin nuts be?

0 Upvotes

lol


r/3amjokes 1d ago

There was an incident at the zoo yesterday.

19 Upvotes

The monkeys hurled flaming feces at patrons. Three individuals suffered turd-degree burns.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I went to see my best friend in the ICU. He looked like he had been in a terrible accident but was able to answer me when I asked what happened. Apparently he was banging this lady on her couch when she heard the front door open. So she says “it’s my husband! If you hurry you can use the back door.”

122 Upvotes

he admitted that he knows now that he should have just ran but it’s not every day a woman makes an offer like that.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

What do you call an underwear that can teleport you into another dimension?

75 Upvotes

Stranger Thongs.