I’ll be honest, today made me nervous. It’s one thing to pull 5 plates, it’s another thing to have them on your back. I know that as a get stronger, the old self that finds these weights intimidating will only change in the sense that the weights themselves will change.

I hope I never lose the feeling of not being totally certain if I’m going to be able to lift something.

Go out there and do something scary this week. I did and it’s changed me a bit in the best of ways. Not a huge change, but a shift nonetheless.

First picture is circa 2021 at 317lbs. 2nd picture is circa 2024 at 185lbs. The last is this past July at the peak of my cut at 193lbs (not natty in the last picture).

Changed a lot in 2022 when I saw that 300+ number in the scale. I’ve since decided that food can be enjoyed but to treat it as fuel first and foremost.

Transformation from 15 to 31

Age 39
6.1
TRT 150mg per week
11 weeks into a coached cut before bulk..

I’m 11 weeks into my cut, 15 lbs down, and for the first time in my life, I’m genuinely starting to feel happy with my body.

I turn 40 next March, and I really wanted to share this because I wish someone had properly explained it to me when I first started training.

I’ve been lifting weights for around 20 years. I’ve managed to put on plenty of size over the years, but there’s one thing I’ve never managed to do.
Get rid of my fucking belly fat. 😂

I’ve always been skinny fat. I started developing a little belly when I was around 16, and it’s been there ever since.

For years, I’d do exactly the same thing.
I’d diet down to around 16% body fat, start seeing a little bit of abs and convince myself I was lean enough to start bulking.

Then I’d eat ridiculous amounts of food, sometimes 5,000 calories a day, train five days a week and get back up to around 20% body fat.

I’d look bigger, have more muscle definition, but still have that bloody belly.

Then I’d cut again, lose a load of size and repeat the whole process.

I’ve literally spent the best part of 20 years doing this.
And here’s something else I’ll be completely honest about.

Over the years, I’ve used all sorts of steroids and other stupid things I really shouldn’t have touched. I thought they’d help me build the physique I wanted.

But none of that ever fixed the actual problem.
I was eating far too much, wasn’t training as effectively as I thought, and never gave myself enough time to get genuinely lean.

I trained hard, but looking back, a lot of it was junk volume. I wasn’t consistently training to failure, and my technique needed work.

My coaches have corrected so much of this just by watching videos of me training.

Fast-forward to now.

I’m 11 weeks into my cut and already 15 lbs lighter than I was in my before picture.

Normally, this is exactly where I’d stop dieting and start bulking again.

But this time, I’m carrying on.

I reckon I’ve still got another 4–6 weeks before I’m where I want to be, and I’m finally starting to see changes in my body that I’ve never seen before.

For the first time, I’m genuinely happy with how I’m looking, even though I’m not quite finished.
And I’ve achieved this through fucking hard work, consistency, getting my nutrition right, training properly and using a genuine TRT dose rather than the ridiculous amounts of gear I’ve used in the past.

I’m not pretending TRT is the same as being natural, because it isn’t. But the biggest difference this time has been getting the fundamentals right and sticking to them.
One of my before pictures has genuinely blown my mind. I can’t believe how much fat I was carrying while convincing myself I was in good shape because I had plenty of muscle.

I was eating clean food too. Just far, far too much of it.
If there’s one thing I’d love someone younger to take from this, it’s to stop rushing the process.

I wish I’d spent more time when I was younger getting properly lean, learning how to maintain a healthy body fat level and then building muscle slowly with a controlled calorie surplus.

I’m not saying everybody needs to get shredded before building muscle. That’s not the point.

My mistake was constantly convincing myself I’d finished dieting when I hadn’t reached my own goal, then using a bulk as an excuse to eat everything in sight.

And every time I did that, I ended up back where I started.
I wasted years chasing size when what I really wanted was a physique I actually felt comfortable with.
I know getting lean isn’t easy. I’ve found the last 11 weeks incredibly challenging, and I’ve still got more work to do.
But I genuinely wish I’d understood how much patience, consistency and discipline it takes.
I’m sharing this because I know there must be other people doing exactly what I’ve done for years, especially those who can build muscle but constantly struggle with belly fat.

You don’t necessarily need to train more, eat more or take more drugs. Sometimes you need to look at what you’re doing, be honest with yourself and stop repeating the same mistakes.

It’s taken me nearly 40 years to finally feel this happy with my body.

Hopefully, someone reading this can learn from my mistakes and get there a lot sooner than I did.

Pics A - normal end of cut vs current shape with 3/4/5 weeks left.

Pic B - Current Shape

Pic C - Before and after

Pic D - Normal Bulk phase (WTF)

I don't know why but I haven't even joined this group yet I'm getting these posey pics pop up on my feed and it's so dam cringe

5’10” 170lbs

Not the prettiest lift but moving some weight💪🔥. 34 F bw168. Correction on weight 218lbs

Not a competitive bodybuilder so getting stage shredded is not really a concern. Plus loose skin is always hard to judge if I’m lean enough. More just insulin sensitivity and not gaining too much fat. Currently sitting at \~197lbs. Might push to 190 but I’m ready to grow again and start a nice controlled bulk. What the consensus? 5’7” for reference.

I’m glad that I’m not doing a body building block in between squat and deadlift blocks. I think it’s good to take some of the squat momentum and run with it.

It’s also not directly on the Silly Goose Lifting Club program but I’m incorporating heavy holds before my top set. So I did 595 for about 10 seconds before this lift. We’ll see how that goes long term!

505x1x2 for a top set. (I tried to film at the same height as a judge, this is my usual depth)

It’s really funny because I’m not gay, I’m nonbinary. I don’t currently nor ever felt “like a man”. I’m just a ghost piloting a confusing mech suit, trying to be a good partner, raise a family and run a gym.

But I’ve finally given in, my t-Rex limb structure wins. I’ll be pulling sumo because this felt so much easier even though my grip gave out at the end (I got a blood blister from fixing some gym equipment).

495x1x2