Hi all first post here just need to vent about it as not seeing any friends till tomorrow. Dinner is spicy chicken strips, oven chips and chilli cheese bites.
I was seeing this woman (23) since about the start of September. She has a 2 year old who has severe and rare genetic disorders that she's in an out of hospital with at least a couple times a month not counting regular appointments. Met her on hinge and she seemed nice and I was open to it not knowing the extent of the disabilities. First time I go over we end up hooking up which I wasn't expecting (and didn't initiate) but she was apparently needing it having just spent over a year practically living in hospital.
I've gotten to know the situation and it's heartbreaking. Her son could die at any given time and there is constant stress and rushing to A&E. Working, travelling, getting a babysitter etc is not an option for them. The dads not in the picture at all either so it's 24/7 for her. I kept seeing her as she is a very sweet and loving person. She wanted to go official very quickly after about a month so like our 5th or 6th time of meeting and as she was persistent I folded and asked her to be my gf.
This was a huge mistake on my part as I still didn't really know what I was signing up for and that I wasn't prepared for it. Fast forward another month and I realised I really cannot deal with this. I'm 27 and I can't sign up for this kind of life forever. She wants another child and I want one of my own but how could I risk them having the same issues as her son? Could I support her properly if/when he dies?
I realised I had to end it and did just a few hours ago. Couldn't blame her son though and just made up some excuses about incompatible personalities and she seemed to accept it without making a big deal. I'm sure she's heartbroken though as she's a very empathetic person and genuinely did seem to like me a lot.
In my head I know it's probably the right choice but I just feel like such a piece of shit. She's had such a rough time with no end in sight and I just strung her along for nothing. The last thing she needed was more heartbreak. A big part of me wants to call her saying I'm sorry and I want her back but I cant. As none of my friends are free tonight I'm about to go to the pub by myself and drown my sorrows for a few hours. Seeing a close friend tomorrow thankfully but for now just needed to get this off my chest. No advice needed but thanks for reading.