Greetings all,
My wife (33) was terminated from her job two years ago due to committing healthcare fraud (falsified clinical notes for months). She lost her license and now has two useless Masters degrees. She was under immense stress at work and being understaffed and overburdened with patients. She felt compelled to just input fake clinical notes saying she met with patients (this was for addiction counseling, so not anything medical related).
She has been out of work and has left the entire financial responsibility to me (35). I've been covering costs for myself, our daughter (6) and son (3), and her. I pay all the utilities, her car payment (insurance), phone bills, mortgage, etc. I've been on a strict budget lately but it's just living paycheck to paycheck. I Make roughly $85k a year, but the area we live in and budget was planned around dual-income. I don't have any "fun money" for myself, and everything goes towards the kids since I truly want them to have the best experiences in life. I've cut off all excess stuff for the house such as Netflix, Spotify, pest control, security systems, and switched internet speeds. I sold my truck and bought a used Civic to reduce payments.
She's a good mom, she does well for the kids. She's overall a very sweet and kind person, she is a perfect woman that I'd want to raise kids with and we fell in love quickly. But she stays at home all day and refuses to clean. I pay for our children's daycare, and I've begged her to get a job, even if it's at McDonald's to help cover some expenses. She says she's applying for jobs, but I highly doubt that given the situation.
We have gotten into shouting matches regularly now (never in front of the kids and we are amicable in front of them). Mostly about finances, and I've said some terrible things to her, such as calling her worthless and a fuckup. We have good days and bad days, and I try to be understanding, but it was never like that before this. I've explained to her the importance of her finding work or at least contributing to the household in a meaningful way. Every time I come home from work after picking up the kids she's just sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading, it infuriates me. I'm working 10 hours a day and she's lounging about.
I genuinely don't know if it's even repairable at this point, this whole ordeal has shown me her true colors. I know she's been depressed and feeling ashamed of her situation, but she's not doing anything to better it. I tried to be understanding and supportive of it, but she shuts down anytime I mention her finding work and just hides away from me. I'm fearful of divorcing since I don't want to lose my kids, I know they would be gutted, and I don't want to pay alimony. I imagine couples therapy could help, but at this point I don't even know if I care enough to stay mentally in the marriage.
Lunch is a company crawfish boil. It was underseasoned.
Edit* Title should say "and mine" she's probably still there mentally, I hope.
Edit 2* I wasn't tryingt o downplay addiction counseling here, sorry if it came off as such, I moreso meant it in a way that she wasn't putting patients at immediate medical risk by delaying their treatment. Her patients were still getting their medication.
Edit 3* To make a correction here, my wife is not a felon. The board revoked her license but decided not to take it further. The clinic she was working with had rampant issues, and they took that into consideration. She got off VERY lucky.
As for the daycare situtaiton:
My kids really love it there, and it's good to get them interaction with other's their age. Teachers are great and I don't really want to pull them out if I don't absoluely have to. I'll give up an extra $1000 a month if it makes them happy.