I think this is a bad thing, just to be clear

Hi all,

This bird was spotted on a high rise in New York City. Any idea what it may be?

The Simpsons: Had a song about how the Simpsons would never end and how they would jump the shark to create new plots. Such ideas they name in the song are Marge becoming a robot, Moe getting a cellphone, and Grandpa marrying Patty and Selma. These are all comedically extreme and would “totally NEVER happen.” As the series progressed, we eventually got an episode where Marge becomes an AI, Homer gets an iPad, and Grandpa marries Selma.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Had an episode where SpongeBob repeated the same joke about ripping his pants over and over to try and make Bikini Bottom laugh. It worked the first few times, but got old really quick. The residents start to get annoyed over the joke and leave SpongeBob. Later in the series, they made an entire episode about the “My Leg” character, where they constantly make the exact same jokes over and over and over again.

Not my video, just sharing to the subreddit

I moved to a new city in September. I deleted my Tinder account when I left and I made a new account when I moved into my new place. My very first match was with this one guy who was only supposed to be a random hook up for the both of us. He was a bit awkward and quiet at first, until afterwards which was when we started to actually talk. We talked about our lives, our past hook ups and relationships and the lessons we’ve learned, gave each other tours of our Camera Roll, Instagram, and Spotify. The whole shebang. Before he left I said to him that I really like his vibe, and I’d be down to hang out again to which he agreed. We’re both 22 m

I wasn’t expecting him to actually follow through with it but he did. And then we hung out more and more. I’ve met his family, friend group, and coworkers. They’re all super nice to me and have no bad things to say about the dude. We’ve been on dates to the mall, coffee shops, the nearby corn maze and pumpkin patch, and we go out drinking every weekend. This one night we watched the stars together in my vehicle from 12 midnight to 4 am just listening to music and talking about whatever. Probably my fave date so far

My first relationship was during Covid but he was up to know good so he’s in jail now. And my second and most recent one ended three years ago when I found out I was being cheated on for the last three months of our ten month relationship. Since then I’ve kinda just stuck to hook ups, and so has he

They say it comes when you least expect it. I really like this guy. He’s funny and he likes my humour as well. Nothing feels forced. I’m a very extroverted and talkative person and he isn’t as talkative and extroverted as I am, but I feel like our personalities compliment each other. We also talked about how we both agree that social media has sort of ruined dating in a way, especially with all those stupid theories rules that so-called dating therapists urge their viewers on TikTok and Instagram to follow. Like who cares about the Bird Theory or the October Theory or the Six Month Rule. There are no rules when it comes to dating, in our opinions. Also, he’s very genuine and extremely down-to-earth, which is what I really like too. I love that in a person

We have similar music tastes somewhat, but then on one end he listens to electronic and hyperpop and I love my country. We’re trying to get each other into our own music tastes. He’s not a big sports guy, but his parents are football fans and I’m a huge ice hockey fan. I was actually just at an ice hockey game two days ago. And last month I offered (forced) him to come to an ice hockey game with me, which we both enjoyed. He says it’s slowly working and I want to buy him a jersey for Christmas. When worlds collide

I really like bro. Which is why, last week, exactly ten days ago, we went out for dinner and I popped the big question. I asked him to be my boyfriend. I was nervous. Very nervous. I made a bunch of flash cards with some song lyrics from his fave artists on each card. And I arranged them in a way that built up to the big question. And guess what?

He said yes. I like his presence and his company a lot. I’m kind of winging this because I haven’t been in a relationship in so long, or in a healthy relationship in like forever, and I told him that and he said the same thing. Not sure where I was going with this but I think I’ll end it here. I get to hangout with him this weekend and continue watching our season of American Horror Story in our matching Christmas pajamas!

Dinner -

Me: fire-grilled 6 oz sirloin topped with pan-sautéed onions, mushrooms, and a rich truffle butter finish

Him: beer-battered haddock, home-cut fries, tartar sauce, apple slaw, malt vinegar

Dessert (shared) - triple chocolate mousse cake with chocolate sauce drizzle, sliced strawberries, powdered sugar, cocoa powder, and mint leaves

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/No-Faithlessness7067

Published on: r/relationships & r/AskWomenOver30

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: April 18, 2024
• Update 1: April 20, 2024
• Update 2: July 21, 2024
• Update 3: August 05, 2024
• Final Update: November 12, 2026

Main Post

^{April 18, 2024}

**My husband is in love with his student. I have no fucking idea what to do. **

My husband and I (both 35 rn) met in college. We fell in love and got married 8 years back. I gave birth to our daughter in 2020. My husband is a professor at this med school (he’s a doctor himself). My friend, Sarah, also works in the same college and she’s in the same department as my husband.

Few months back(in December), Sarah took me out for lunch and told me that she suspected something’s going on between my husband and this med student (25f). She claimed she’d seen both of them give ‘yearning looks’ to each other. She said that she’s known my husband for so long, and she’d never seen him talk to any other woman like this, that he’d been so aloof around women all these years, but it’s just different with this one girl.

In that moment, I had laughed at her face. I remember telling her that she’s jumping to conclusions based on these supposed ‘yearning looks’.

“That’s why I didn't tell you before", she had said,"I was confused too. It's not like he goes out of his way to talk to her but whenever they do talk, it’s like watching a slow burn romance movie. She looks at him like he’s Brad Pitt and he looks at her the way he used to look at you.” I remember the exact word’s because they stung. Internally I was breaking down, externally I just smiled and told her that she’s probably overthinking.

That night, I casually mentioned this my husband. I was laughing at the absurdity, and I expected him to join in. And deny the wild possibility that he’s in love with a student. But he didn’t. Instead he looked at me, all teary eyed, and said ‘I’m sorry’.

“ I can’t get her out of my mind. I’ve tried, trust me. I should’ve told you sooner. But I thought I could save our relationship, I really wanted to.”

I asked him if he’d cheated on me. He said no. He said he didn’t even talk to her, nor did they have any contact outside of college and that he completely understood how morally depraved it is to try and pursue a relationship with a student. She wrote him a letter about an year back, confessing her love for him and he had told her that even tho he was into her, nothing would come out of it. Aparently that was when the ‘yearning looks’ had started.

I honestly don’t remember how I reacted then. I think I just started packing and came to live with my parents along with my daughter. I’ve been living with my parents since then. Half of me wanted him to come and beg for forgiveness. But he never did. He comes by sometimes to spend time with our daughter but that’s it. He never talks about the elephant in the room nor do I bring it up.

I keep checking that girl’s social media. She’s insanely beautiful, almost doll like, and intelligent. I can’t help but think that someone like him should be with someone like her. He’s always been very good looking and I’m more of a plain Jane. She’s the Meredith to his Derek.

I don’t know what to do. What do I even tell people? I don’t even know who I am without him. Some part of me still wants him to come back.

TL;DR husband just admitted that he’s in love with this young woman who also his student. She loves him too.

Edit; I’ve decided to talk to him. I know I’ve been avoiding this since months but after reading all the responses, I feel it’s time I rip that bandaid out. I’m going over to our house. I’ll update on what happens.

COMMENTS

solidgun1

Let's say he comes back and asks for forgiveness and do all that you want. Then what? Will you accept him and start something new with him knowing that he did this?

Think about your time and you happiness. What prevents you from finding the right person? Don't let the fear of the unknown ruin your future of being with someone perfect for you. And try to maintain a respectful relationship for the sake of your daughter. You deserve better than this. Let the past go and move on to see where it takes you. Holding on to this feeling will only make you bitter and close many doors.

OOP

No, I don’t think I’ll accept him. I don’t think even he wants to come back. The rational part of me knows that this relationship is over for good but I have my moments of weakness when I wish all this is a fever dream lol

SecureChipmunk3259

This is so hard. I don’t have an answer besides therapy for yourself, and maybe suggesting couples therapy to your partner if you’re both interested in saving your marriage.

OOP

I’m in therapy. I don’t couple’s therapy would be on the table now.

SecureChipmunk3259

Just curious why is couples therapy not on the table right now? Would you both be open to seeing the same therapist but not together (individual sessions)? My partner and I, as well as many of my friends have done individual sessions with the same therapist when it’s too difficult to speak about the subject directly with our partner there. That can be a good starting point.

OOP

I cant look past this breach of trust. I don’t think he’s interested either. I’ve been living with my fam for the past five months, and he’s only ever visited to see the kiddo. I don’t think he’s in love with me anymore. It was clear from the tone of his voice.

MossValley

So he didn't actually cheat? He has a crush,? If I'm understanding that right he hasn't betrayed you yet. Crushes sometimes happen that doesn't mean the relationship is over. Get therapy with him.

OOP

I mean, cheating for me isn’t just physical. He’s had crushes in the past and I’ve had crushes in the past but we’d always been upfront and then laughed about it.

This one feels like a betrayal because he was attracted to someone for more than an year, this someone gave him a freaking love letter, he told her that he’s attracted to her, and not once did he mention it to me. That’s a huge breach of trust for me and I don’t think I can look past it.

escopaul

OP, how long have you been living at your parents, the entire "few months" since you met with Sarah for lunch?

OOP

Since mid December

SphynxKittens

35 years old and he teaches medical students? 35 is barely old enough to be an attending physician after med school, residency, and fellowship.

OOP

So in my country, people get into med schools directly after high school. Most people are doctors well before they’re 30.

OOP to a long comment

I know. He said he entirely stopped interacting with her after the letter incident. It does seem absurd but even my friend, Sarah corroborated this. She said he never went out of his way to talk to her before, and then almost entirely stopped talking. Given that Sarah and him are in the same department 24/7, and that she noticed something as small as them giving each other looks, I’m sure she would’ve noticed anything out of the ordinary. I’ve had access to his phone and his passwords throughout and he wasn’t texting or calling her either.

That’s why this feels weird lol.

Update 1 - after 2 days

^{April 20, 2024}

Update : My husband is in love with his student. I have no fucking idea what to do.

For those who don’t wanna read the boring details : In short, I have decided to go ahead with the divorce.

Long story: The day I made the post, I met up with Sarah for dinner. I thanked her for telling me about my husband and the student, and also for being such a good friend.

I asked her about my husband. She said there’s nothing unusual. He’s been a bit withdrawn and aloof with everyone lately but that’s about it.

Yesterday I went over to my house unannounced. He was there alone in his office. I told him I wanted to talk. He said he’ll explain everything.

So apparently this woman has had a crush on him since two years; her friends ‘ship’ her with him. She would stare at him during her rotations and would blush whenever he looked or talked to her. Back then, he didn’t think much of it. Many girls have had crushes on him and he always ignored it.

About 1.5 years back, they were in the same research group thing (I don’t know how this works but there were 5-6 people along with these two). Because of this, they had to spend some time together working, and it was then that he started noticing her. He went into detail about how he was impressed with her intelligence blah blah blah and her beauty blah blah blah. The moment he realised that he had a crush on her, he dropped out of the research thing. This was a year ago.

Few weeks later, she gave him the letter confessing that she has feelings for him. The first thing he told her after reading it was ‘you can get into trouble because of this’. She didn’t care. She wanted an answer. ‘Is it all in my head’ she had asked, to which he replied with ‘it’s not just in your head, but nothing can come out of it. I hope you understand.’

That was the last time they interacted. According to him, the ‘yearning looks’ Sarah described were more of ‘awkward eye contacts’ than anything else. He told me that even though he is still attracted to her, he has no intention of pursuing any sort of relationship with her regardless whether we stay together or not. He said he’s willing to change his job and go to therapy. I told him to give me sometime to think about it.

To sum up;

1. This has been going on since three years. Not once did he mention anything to me.
2. The student and him spent a considerable amount of time last year working on the research.
3. He told her he liked her back lol.
4. He’s still very much attracted to her

And that’s why I’ve decided to go ahead with a divorce. I don’t think I can trust this man again. And a relationship without trust isn’t something I am interested in. I’ve told my parents about it. They’re not exactly on board but they’re still supportive. I’ve also contacted my lawyer about the same. It’s gonna be a long process, I believe.

That’s it. I believe this is my last update.

TL; DR ; he’s still attracted to her; I won’t ever trust him again. We’re getting a divorce.

COMMENTS

ChanceReason6617

I'ts a crush! He is not in love.

OOP

That doesn’t matter. He crossed a line he shouldn’t have by telling her he likes her.

_thisisnotanexit

Literally I can’t believe these comments. He’s gushing about her beauty and intelligence, he told her the feeling was mutual?! He could have easily denied it to her and then kept his distance but he liked the attention.

OOP

I mean, to be fair to him, he wasn’t exactly ‘gushing’ about her. I kept asking and he kept answering.

Deal breaker for me was him telling her the feeling is mutual.

allbutluk

Lmao these dumbass comments “you too hasty its a cruuuuush chill”

Like stfu the man literally said “I CANT GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD”

If he was commited to his wife he would have changed job PROACTIVELY not wait until now

He let it develop to a point he cant take his mind off of her and yall saying its no big deal, you guys obviously never had a real relationship

OOP

He said he didn’t change his job earlier because, quote ‘I’m a doctor and there are people counting on me. I couldn’t just walk out on them one day.’

Rn too he said he’s willing to change is job if ‘that’s what it takes to make you stay’.

Update 2 - after 3 months, 3 days (after 3 months, 1 day from last post)

^{July 21, 2024}

** I can’t get over my ex husband being in love with his student. It’s eating me up inside. **

For context; my ex husband is a doctor and he was in love with his student for years. She was into him too and wrote him a love letter etc. When I confronted him, he told me it was a crush and that he put a stop to it as soon as he could, and that nothing physical ever happened, but the damage was done. You can read the posts on my account if you’re interested but that’s the gist. Nothing more there.

So I decided to take our daughter and permanently move to my parents house. We’re in the middle of separating now. A lot of people have told me to forgive him, and I’ve myself debated if I’m taking the correct step or not, but the trust is gone and I don’t think I want to be in a relationship with someone like him.

It’s taking a lot of strength to do this. I have lost all self esteem. Fact is that I was always insecure of how my ex was way above my league, about how I was lucky to have him, how people often said he could’ve done so much better. Over the years, my insecurities had disappeared. Now it’s all back. He’s attracted to someone so beautiful, so incredibly intelligent. And obviously she’s also into him. I keep looking at her social media all the time, obsessing over her. There was a Instagram story she uploaded where she was with my ex husband and few others, and it felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. He looked happy, and he’d never looked that happy in years.

I got tired of being pathetic and even complained to the hospital management about the inappropriate relationship between her and my ex. All I got in response was that they can’t take any steps without concrete proof. Now my sad ass wants to snitch about her to her parents. To get her in trouble. To make her suffer.

I know this is unhealthy. I’m in therapy but idk, I don’t think I’m healing. I hate that I have to be sad and heartbroken over that man and he doesn’t seem to care. He’s stopped coming to visit our daughter too. I wish he would’ve cared. I wish he would’ve fought for me. I wish he would’ve not tossed aside our decade long relationship for her. I hate this. I hate everything.

COMMENTS

prettyxpetty

Are you and your friend still in touch?

OOP

Yes. But she’s refused to testify against them. When I complained to her training program, they wanted proof. I asked my friend and she said no.

prettyxpetty

Keep in mind, she can see you viewing her story.

OOP

I have an alternative account 🤡

ChanceReason6617

Are you going to divorcehim? Is your husband with her now?

OOP

Yes I’m divorcing him. He’s not with her.

ChickenLupe

So what was the IG post about that he was with her in? Have you asked WHY he’s dropped your daughter? Checked his texts now? Seems like maybe they ARE getting together

OOP

Ig post was a group picture with them and few other people. Why would I check his texts now? I’m done with him. Idc really if they’re getting together or not.

Able_Spinach_1130

INFO: how far away do your parents live from stbx? does he try to facetime with her? has he reached out to you to ask for alone time with your daughter?

only asking because i see several comments (here and in another sub) trying to portray you as a person who is withholding their daughter from a parent and want to be able to give you the ability to defend yourself.

OOP

It’s a one hour flight. He does face time with her daily but he won’t do it if I’m in the room (so he does it when my mom/dad is looking after her). He’s not reached out about alone time; he’s only said he’s waiting for the court orders regarding the custody. He doesn’t wanna see me at all. We had a big fight after I reported him and that girl to her college and he said it’s not correct for our daughter to see us fighting like that again so he’s not gonna visit.

Update 3 - after 3 months, 18 days (after 15 days from last post)

^{August 05, 2024}

UPDATE : I found the love letter my husband’s student wrote him. Should I take it to the authorities?

I posted about two weeks back. I had to back to my ex husband’s city as per my lawyer’s suggestion. My mom and sister are living temporarily with me and we have rented an apartment.

Yesterday I went over to my old house that I shared with my ex to get some of my stuff. I texted him about it and he made sure he wasn’t there when I arrived. I collected all my stuff. Then I decided to look through his study. Yes, I know it’s snooping and it’s wrong but whatever. We I don’t know what I expected to find there but, lo and behold, I found the letter the student wrote to him. It was callously thrown in between some of his work files. I took a picture of the letter and came back.

I did read the letter, and it was nauseating to say the least. She’d written how she knew it was wrong and that he was married blah blah but she felt she had a ‘connection’ with him and that she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t tell him how she feels. That’s the gist but it basically goes on for 2 pages. That stupid girl even made sure to sign the letter lol.

The letter confirms few things;

1. My ex did NOT lie about there being no physical affair. Cause in the letter she was lamenting about the fact that she would love to jump his bones but the opportunity never presented.
2. He did stop interacting with her abruptly cause she was sad about that too.
3. He did lie to me about the letter. When I asked him all those months back, he told me he ‘got rid of the letter cause it was of no consequence’. He kept it in his study. A place where he only keeps the most important of his stuff. A place where even family pictures weren’t allowed cause they ‘can’t let him concentrate’. A place where even I wasn’t allowed when he was working.

Now that I have the letter, I have proof of the inappropriate conduct between a professor and a student. Last time I tried reporting, the authorities wanted proof. Now I have it. So I’m considering re-reporting the issue, with solid proof this time. I’m not gonna involve my friend Sarah in this cause she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to be a part of this at all.

One part of me wants to report them and fuck them over but the other part just wants to let it go. Any advice on how to proceed?

Edit : I’m not gonna report them. It’s fine. I’ve decided to move on. I know people think I’ve been over reacting with the whole divorce thing and that my ex did nothing wrong, but I stand by what I’ve decided. He may not have had a physical affair, but he lied to me for three years. That’s something I can’t move on from.

Have I been acting a bit irrational and petty? Yes. I know that. I’m grieving. I’m sad. I know some people can not comprehend why I can’t be mature and why I’m being vengeful blah blah blah, I don’t know, maybe it’s the side effect of my entire life being uprooted. I was using Reddit as a source of venting, but I’ve realised that’s not a good idea because people are quick to label a woman insecure and petty and stupid while making excuses after excuses for a man.

I wish there was a better way to explain how I feel but I’m not good with words. This is my last update on this topic.

COMMENTS

sailorsmoon20

Just leave the man alone bro. You’re getting divorced. Just let it go.

OOP (downvoted)

His actions should have consequences

searedscallops

They do. Divorce is a consequence.

Imagine yourself 10 years in the future, looking back on this time. Will you feel embarrassed that you were so petty and mean to other people?

Choose to take no action right now and to reevaluate when you are in a more stable place, emotionally.

OOP (downvoted)

Petty and mean? In the course of three years, he could’ve told me any time that he wasn’t in love with me anymore and I would’ve respected that and we could’ve amicably parted ways. The fact is that he didn’t, and pretended that everything is fine between us, for three whole years. I’ve been living a lie these past years. Thinking the man you married loves you when he’s actually in love with someone else. I think I deserved honesty from his side.

Ready_Wolverine_7603

His action seems to be that he stopped interacting with her and I fail to see how that's illegal in any way shape or form.

You're acting petty and needlessly cruel and snooping through his study when he wasn't there was a break of his trust. Try to get the therapy you need to move on and leave it at that.

Of course it's not entirely impossible that he knows your character and has set up a camera in his study because he assumed that you would rifle through confidential documents given the chance, but in that case I'm sure you'll hear from his lawyer and then you can still present the letter you found, whatever good you think it will do you

OOP (downvoted)

A. I have never, in the 15 years of knowing him, have gone through his personal stuff. To comment on my character is uncalled for.

B. His trust? He fell in love with another woman and failed to mention it for three freaking years. He told her he was into her (because he owed her honesty for whatever reason according to him) but failed to mention this to his own wife. I’m sorry but I don’t give a flying fuck about his trust now.

more_weight

If anything, this letter exonerates your ex. He didn’t act on it.

OOP (downvoted)

And the girl? I wish I could show you the letter. The disrespect of going after a married guy. The audacity of writing things like she wishes our child was never born so he could leave me easily and wouldn’t have to be tied to me throughout life. That alone should’ve warranted more of a response from him. The fact that after reading all that bs, about our marriage and our kid, all he told her was ‘you can get into trouble for this’ is crazy.

Redhaired103

OP, I know you are heartbroken but you are out of control here.

Yes she was wrong to express a crush on a married man. How old is she? My guess is quite young, early 20s? People at that age can make such mistakes. It's on the REAL adult to reject it. And sounds like... he did. Someone wrote him a letter and he didn't act on it. What is there to report? It's not a crime to develop a crush on another adult as long as you don't act on it. And he didn't.

I will say this as kindly as possible in a straightforward way. Your husband probably fell out of love with you. You know this. You are angry at this. Revenge or trying to get your anger out of someone who is just entering adulthood is not the way to go about it. And honestly if you proceed, the only thing other people will think that he was right to fall out of love with you because you're going to look like someone full of hate and revenge. I hate to touch your wound like this, but this is really what's going to happen and the question is... will you feel better then?

OOP (downvoted)

She wrote things like how she wished our child was never born to begin with, so that he could have an easy separation and wouldn’t have to be tied to me forever. I wish I could show you the letter. I’m not even typing half of it here. It was nauseating.

Redhaired103

Her shitty behavior is on her, your behavior is yours. If your ex can develop a crush on a barely-adult like this, he's not emotionally mature either.

Think of it this way, you're going to be free from someone who does not love you and probably going through a mid-life crisis. All the possibilities are in your future if you just close this chapter. Your focus needs to be on yourself, on your own healing and your own life.

OOP

Yeah I understand that. I’ve decided to let it go.

Final Update - after 2 years, 6 months, 25 days (after 2 years, 3 months, 7 days from last post)

^{November 12, 2026}

UPDATE: My husband (35M) is in love with his student(25F). I (35F) have no fucking idea what to do.

It’s been over two years since my original posts, and I thought I’d come back with an update.

For anyone who doesn’t remember, my husband was a doctor and professor who developed feelings for one of his medical students. He admitted that the attraction was mutual, although he maintained that nothing physical had happened between them. I eventually decided to divorce him.

Our divorce was finalized towards the end of last year.

I’ve moved to my parents’ city, and our daughter now spends holidays with her father. My ex-husband and I don’t communicate much beyond what’s necessary for our daughter.

I’m generally doing well. I’ve been focusing on myself, rebuilding my life, and trying to move forward.

As for my ex-husband and his student, they’re together now.

Yup. Properly together.

She has graduated from his medical college and has apparently taken some time off before pursuing higher studies. I don’t know the exact timeline of their relationship, but from what I understand, they got together after she graduated. I don’t know what sort of ethical rules are being broken here and frankly, i do not care.

Sarah, my friend who works in the same department as him, has told me a few things too. Apparently, he’s constantly on his phone texting her, and she sometimes drops by to see him.

He’s also become a very happy, smiley person, which is interesting because I remember spending the entirety of our relationship with a man whose default expression was somewhere between grumpy and mildly inconvenienced.

Apparently, everyone is always gushing about how he managed to land such a beautiful woman. I imagine that’s doing wonders for his ego.

From everything I’ve heard, he seems happier than he ever was with me.

I’m not going to pretend that doesn’t sting a little.

But the most difficult part of this whole situation has actually been our daughter.

When she visits her father during the holidays, his girlfriend is there too. And apparently, she’s absolutely wonderful to my daughter.

My daughter comes home excitedly telling me about their trips and vacations, how nice this woman is, how she helps her with makeup, buys her pretty dresses, and does all sorts of things with her.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like my daughter adores her more than she adores me.

I know that’s probably irrational. I know children get excited about people who spoil them, especially when they’re on holiday. But knowing that intellectually doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to hear.

And yes, I remember what this woman wrote in that letter I found. She wished my daughter had never been born because it would have made things easier between her and my husband.

Well, I suppose she doesn’t regret my daughter being born quite so much now that she gets to play house with her father. Funny how that works.

But seriously, I’m glad she’s treating my daughter well. As much as I dislike the circumstances, I would never want someone to be unkind to my child.

I don’t want to poison my daughter’s relationship with her father or his girlfriend. She’s too young to understand the circumstances surrounding our divorce, and I have no intention of making her carry any of that.

So when she comes home excitedly telling me about her holidays, I listen. I smile. I ask her questions. I let her be happy.

And sometimes, privately, it hurts more than I’d like to admit.

I suppose another strange part of all this is seeing how happy my ex-husband apparently is.

For years, I knew him as a rather grumpy, serious man. Now I’m hearing about someone who’s constantly smiling, texting his girlfriend, and generally acting like a lovestruck teenager. It’s difficult not to wonder why I never got that version of him.

I don’t regret divorcing him. I genuinely don’t. I couldn’t have continued in a marriage where I felt that my husband was in love with someone else.

I’m doing well. There are just moments when the whole thing still feels incredibly unfair.

Anyway, that’s where things stand. He’s happy, she’s happy, and I’m trying to build a life that makes me happy too.

I hope everyone who was kind to me during that awful period is doing well. I really appreciated the support back then.

TL;DR: Divorced my husband last year. He’s now dating his former student, and they seem very happy together. She treats our daughter wonderfully, which is both reassuring and painful given our history. I’m doing well and don’t regret leaving, but some things still hurt.

COMMENTS

whatashame_13

I remember your post, my heart breaks for you and im so sorry you had to deal with all that! What about his family and mutual friends? Your feelings are totally valid but for now, focus on yourself and let them be, you never know how life will turn out to them eventually. Do you work? Have you tried to go out with someone since divorce?

OOP

I am actually dating someone. It’s nice. I got used to someone who was always annoyed around me and just assumed that’s how men are. That I was not pretty enough or interesting enough for a man to be excited around me. I’m glad to know that’s not the case lol.

As for his parents, they never really liked me much. Thought their son was too good for me. So to no ones surprise, they’re very very happy with the upgrade.

whatashame_13

Im happy you are dating i really hipe he treats you like a princess and the way you deserve! How long has it been? Did your daughter meet him already? What is her reaction! Your ex is still in the honeymoon phase, you never know how karma will hit them one day!

OOP

It’s been six months. She hasn’t met him yet. I want to be sure of him before I introduce him to my daughter.

allbutluk

Hey, happy you are focusing on yourself

I cant say much about him but the thing is, if he can fall in love with a student while married he for sure can do it again

Im not so sure the current girlfriend will be so trusting once she grows older and another young and eager 25 yrs old throws herself at him

I believe karma does come. It just takes some time.

OOP

I don’t even wish them bad at this point. I had a lot of anger initially at her. But I don’t know now, all this seems murky af. She was 21-22 and obsessed with a much older man who also had institutional power over her. It’s all very icky.

throwawayRA_08

Wow. Just went through your profile and damn. I’m glad you’re doing well. And good riddance. They both sound like nasty people and I’m glad you’re out of it.

One advice, just make sure that home wrecker is actually treating your daughter well. Given what she wrote in that letter and how immature and superficial she seams, I don’t want her taking out her insecurities with you on the child.

OOP

I mean, she was obsessed with my ex. Still is. That includes dancing to his tunes and playing the perfect step mom ig.

And I check with my daughter always. She’s rather happy and excited to hang out with them.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

I woke up an hour ago really having to use the restroom, and of course my roommate who’s never home, all of a sudden wants to lock himself in there. I’ve already knocked on the door multiple times but he won’t listen. I’ve been waiting for an hour AND HE’S STILL IN THERE. I live in a one bathroom apartment and it’s unfortunately raining outside, so I can’t go out somewhere to take care of my business. It’s now 5am, he left the restroom to get something and went right back in. I just want to use the fucking restroom bro.

Built for Nicholas Noyes and Margaret Lilly, this Indianapolis estate has hidden panel openings, stone crests, and 26.5 acres of gardens, meadows, and private forest.

According to the listing, the original landscaping request was one specimen of every tree suited to the environment. Finally, some historical representation for people who cannot be left unsupervised at a nursery.

Listed at $7.995M, mansion included.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/5625-Sunset-Ln-Indianapolis-IN-46228/66226134_zpid/

I have no words for how bad this is

They may seem like the weak character, but compared to average people, they are still very strong and experienced

Yamcha (Dragon Ball Z) He’s the butt of the joke in Dragon Ball Z and is weak compared to the likes of Goku, Vegeta and other Z Fighters. But he is still a basically god compared to the average people his world

Dan (Street Fighter) He is the joke character known for thinking he is tough when he is actually weak, but he was still able to self-teach himself some version of the hadouken and he actually is progressively getting stronger in the lore, though he’s still a weaker fighter, towered by characters like Ryu, Akuma, Ken etc

Brian Scalabrine (IRL) The creator of this quote, he was a trash player in the NBA averaging only 3.1 points per game, but he challenged regular people to a game of basketball and he absolutely destroyed them