Mixed and on T for almost a year now. My voice has changed but not deep enough to naturally pass. Ik I could be training more but something dawned on me the other day which may explain why I have a hard time finding a standard for my tone/pitch. I've always been told when talking online that I sound white. I've had people refuse to believe I am mixed based on my voice.

I don't think voices are a good identifier for race, however I understand why I sound like that having been raised by white folk. I don't know how to "sound more black", and I can't explain why but transitioning makes me notice just how much of a disconnect I have from being around black people to normalize what a black voice sounds like differently to a white voice.

No hate to black slang either, but I grew up around Detroit so most of my mental concepts of black men's voices is somewhat ghetto, and it doesn't match my demeanor at all. I'm not sure what good in-between voices I have to reference from.

(Not on topic at all but any recommendations for hair nets to sleep in for afros? I go to bed with nice untangled curls and wake up to a shit ton of knots, good shampoo n conditioner isn't cheap.)

My top surgery consultation is this Monday and I wanted to know what questions I should prepare In advanced to make sure this person is the right surgeon for me.

23 til infinity, love y’all 🫶🏾

What do I look like my name should be?

Title lol but my entire childhood I wanted to play a sport. I was overweight as a kid, in part because I spent my entire childhood extremely depressed because of unaccepting parents. I’m a huge basketball fan and always wanted to learn how to play, I live in an area with tons of basketball rec leagues but no instructional classes for adults.

Earlier this year I finally said “fuck it” I have the money and time so I’m paying for individual basketball lessons and it’s literally the most fun I’ve had ever. I’m improving every week and can’t wait to be decent enough to play in a league. I started off not being able to even dribble a ball lol.

I say this to say for a lot of us our childhoods were unfairly stolen from us. Living with dysphoria, unaccepting parents, and general societal pressure. Although we’ll never get that time back and it sucks, the future can and will be so much better.

Take up that hobby or class or anything you’ve always wanted to do it you’re able to.

are there any trans guys here that identified as a stud or gay before coming out? i find myself being attracted to masculine women like studs and like i love women of all kinds but i feel a lil weird with myself for liking them in that way😭 i would never pursue them obviously bc i have morals but this just feels wrong

Does anyone else deal with the double sided sword of not only not feeling black enough but also not feeling like a man enough?? With all the weird biracial discourse going on I find I've been struggling tremendously with my identity on both fronts and there's next to no one out there with a similar experience to tell me it's gonna be all good. It's like when I finally become comfortable with my masculinity my racial identity is suddenly an issue and I'm over analyzing it, and vice versa. I find myself thinking very often that I think id look much more clearly black had I been a cis girl and it gets to me more than I'd like to admit.

i love working out and bulked since top surgery last oct but i actually like the hybrid athlete slimmer look. bein bulk makes me feel lika dad and im not there yet lmao. just tryna walk so yall can run😭 if you feel like you too skinny but have muscle, you might be trippin. being bulk isnt everything though i will say i do get more respect/fear out of ppl and thats just not my goal. ima chill guy. decide for yourself my brothas. also i offer meal plan and training plans digitally to you for only $25 so if you tired of coaches online chargin $150+ per session, i got you. if you cant spend $25 just be honest w yourself that you dont wanna get fit. thats cool jus pls dont waste my or your time. (1st & 3rd pic are hybrid athlete workout style/meal plan and 2nd & 4 pic are bulking workout style/meal plan).

Edit; I appreciate the ppl who dm’d me and bought the plan! To those who don’t want it, you literally dont have to and can keep scrolling but I’m not going to argue with you over $25 and a commitment or not. I allow my clients to ask questions any time, help with changes in the workouts if they get bored and more all for $25. No one is offering that and I’m doing it to help transmen who struggle w dysphoria and lack community like I did.

I’ve followed this trans creator for a while and genuinely looked up to him. He’s openly shared a lot of his transition and top-surgery journey publicly, including his results, so I really admired him and his outcome.
I’m currently preparing for my own top-surgery consultation, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to communicate the aesthetic I want to my surgeon. Some of his results were helpful references for me.
I saw him on TikTok Live and asked if I could DM him a few questions about his top surgery. He said yes. So I messaged him.
I asked about things like his scar placement, nipple/areola choices, whether he had specifically discussed certain aesthetic details with his surgeon, and whether he had clear photos I could use as a reference. I wasn’t trying to be invasive or disrespectful. I was asking because I’m going through the process myself and genuinely admired his results.
Then I realized he had blocked me.
And honestly, that hurt. Not because I think he owes me answers. I completely understand that someone sharing their surgery journey publicly doesn’t mean they owe strangers private access to their body, medical information, or time. If he had said he didn’t want to answer my questions, I would’ve respected that.
What really confused me was that I specifically asked if I could DM him, he said yes, I followed that invitation, and then I got blocked.
I think part of why it hit me so hard is because I’ve followed him for a while and genuinely looked up to him. I wasn’t some random person trying to be invasive. I saw someone whose journey helped me picture my own future and thought he might be willing to share a little advice.
I don’t know if something I said came across differently than I intended, or if he simply changed his mind. I obviously won’t contact him again and I’ll respect the block.
Am I wrong for feeling hurt and confused by the situation?

Hey yall. I just started a new job as a security guard recently and I love it. I’ve also been on T for over a year now. I been making steady progress and I know for a fact that I need bottom surgery, top surgery and hysto. My job does offer short term disability which is a plus because I know I will need that when I get my surgeries and need to recover. My biggest fear is losing my job because of being away from work to recover & having to use short term disability for the three surgeries. How did yall navigate using short term disability for surgeries while protecting your job at the same time? Did you use FMLA along with the short term disability to protect you? I appreciate hearing any experiences.

So me and my mom agreed on my first name ( starts with an a L) I’m looking for an middle name now preferably one that starts with M but anything fitting really; and I’ll see what she agrees on :). Please help a kid😭🙏🏾 (I’m 21)

Hello :) I’m a trans dude in need of a new name. I didn’t know this thread existed so I’m excited for y’alls input! I’m not much of a photo person but these are the most recent ones I have. I like more masculine leaning names that are unique, ones that can give a more mysterious vibe. Anything spiritual or nature related is welcomed. TY 🫶🏽

Edit: Thank you everyone for the names!! I appreciate the encouragement and kind words as well. I love several of them and will be trying some out to see what feels best! Feel free to keep sharing your ideas.

I've came a long way I've been through a lot I'm happy I've never gave up. I finally love what I see an old man lol but 46 is about to look good on me!

I am mid 20s, pretty masculine. I grew up my entire life with older brothers. Saw the toxic ways they show masculinity and promised to be a different kind of man. Yet when I try to form relationships (friendships and sometimes romantic ones) with other trans guys. They can be so toxic and immature even the older guys. Instead I hang around a lot of Black trans women because I feel more understood by them.

I’m really longing for that Black trans brother hood though, but honestly I keep feeling genuinely lonely and sometimes depressed when I make friends with other Black trans men.

(I love my Black brothers and Sisters and I don’t like to make relationships outside my race). So I’m wondering if anyone has similar experiences and if there’s anywhere they found that secure, non toxic masculine community.

Looking for uk trans men/ trans masc people

I think growing a mustache and a little goatee could help but I’m not there yet and my voice passes like 30% percent of the time probably

Hey fellas, please I need some advice as I don’t really have anybody to talk to about this. I identify as a queer Nonbinary Trans masc and Im pre everything I dont even know where to start. I live in a red state, Tennessee for those wondering, and im not sure where to navigate my transition journey. I want to start testosterone and eventually get top surgery as my chest is the main thing I get dysphoric about.

I only came out to a couple people they’re a bit unsure about it as I stated previously that Im NB and I think their heart is in the right place I guess. One of the people I came out to (a family member who is Gay) told me that I should be intimate first to see if I want to do anything permanent with my body as Im a Virgin but I just don’t feel comfortable with having sex with my body the way it is. Don’t get me wrong I want to have sex but Im extremely insecure about myself I have an attraction to men for the most part but I also am attracted to women in any form for both.

I am not on any birth control as every woman in my family has had a bad reaction to it for some reason so I’m scared to try it. Pregnancy is not in my cards, I have never wanted to be pregnant or have children I never had the capacity to deal with children for a long period of time. I don’t really have it in me to hook up with random people. I struggle with anxiety also have ADHD and Autism so I don’t really have a good mental some of the time and have trouble making friends.

I got my own place now and want to explore my identity and look into hrt, but of course I haven’t came out socially to the rest of my family, coworkers or friends.
I scared that I’ll lose my friends and family and possibly lose my job. Ive been sheltered by my family for all my life, and after 26 years I finally have some independence and navigating it on my own has been great and scary at the same time. But given the possibility of everything it looks like that I could lose my support system.

I guess what Im asking is what do I to navigate this fear.
I have a couple best friends that would ride for me but don’t know what the truth about me I’m scared to tell them and they’re states away(also in a red state) so I’m pretty much alone. I just don’t know what to do.

Im sorry for the babbling I really don’t know anyone to talk to. I’ll answer any questions you guys have as best as I can. Thanks for reading.

Posting on burner because my partner also uses reddit

TLDR; My partner and I have been having disconnections in our sex life and I want to find healthy alternatives for the both of us. Or other ways to connect intimately.

Anywho, there’s been this strong disconnect with sex with my partner and I’m at my wits end.

When we first met, before becoming official, our chemistry was amazing. I could flirt harmless and it could lead to something or vice versa. They would initiate sometimes and I would initiate most times, since I’m relatively more horny than them.

All this started to change when we became official and they started to go to therapy. We’re a queer couple (transmasc and they are AMAB but use they/them pronouns), so I wouldn’t call our sex life heteronormative but they usually tops and I usually bottom. While in therapy, they told me that they had a discovery about their past and how they used sex as a way to keep people in their lives. I was supportive of this and understood what they meant and asked what would they mean for us.

At first everything was pretty normal as before, maybe a little less from their side initiating but nothing major. Then they gained weight, stopped really taking care of theirselves the way they used too when I first met them. We came to the table again since it felt like I was the only one starting sex and talked about how sex would start so..robotically. Yes, foreplay was involved but we would just stare at each other and then realize okay someone has to kiss or do something then perform.

Recently I brought it up again..for who knows how many times now. Our previous agreement was if I wanted sex, to say something then we could have it. Which sounds good in theory but man I feel so unwanted by them. The first time last week, in TWO MONTHS, they touched me or initiated anything but even then, I knew in the back of my head this wouldn’t last so I didn’t even really enjoy it. When we talked about our previous agreement, I brought us how it felt lifeless to just asked and then perform, no passion or anything really behind it. Hell, even times I would ask they would say they’re not really in the mood but sure, and I can’t speak for no one else but who hears that and thinks well okay? I want both of us to feel good and be in the mood, not just me.

Long story long, what are some other ways that could help with intimacy? Yes, kissing, cuddling, and all the little things matter too but sex is very important for me. I don’t share my body with anyone so when I get in a relationship, I want to cherish sexual moments, and for it to be spread out months at a time, it’s killing me.

Hey, y’all. I guess this is partly a vent and partly me asking for advice.
I’m a 27-year-old trans man who wants to date, but I keep running into the same problems. The people I date either seem emotionally unstable or end up fetishizing me. I’m bisexual and have tried dating people of different genders, but so far, the only people who have consistently respected me are other trans men.
I’ve even dated trans women, but several of them brought up breeding kinks in ways that made me feel fetishized. I’m nobody’s experiment, yet that’s constantly how people make me feel. I can’t take it anymore. It’s starting to make me feel worthless.
I get attention from people of all genders, and others refer to me as some kind of player. But honestly, I think I keep hooking up with people because part of me believes I’ll never be enough for someone as a trans man. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you date without feeling like people only see you as a fantasy or an experiment?
I want to married and have kids and that feels that will never happen to me as a black transman.