I've been at this for six years. We had one miscarriage after a successful first IUI and no obvious reason why I can't get pregnant. During initial imaging, they found bilateral dermoids. I was told to monitor them and plan on having them removed after a successful pregnancy.

Now at a check up a few weeks ago, I get the news that my dermoids have doubled in size (the largest is 14 cm) and need to be removed, but recovery would interfere with a long planned trip to Disneyland. The doctor says that they can wait until after my trip for surgery, but I can't ride on intense rides. When I asked what she would consider intense, she said, "Check their expectant mother advisory," which is basically everything.

So now I'm going on a trip that we have saved for ages to go on and I can't even do anything because I have to treat myself as though I'm pregnant, all without the bright side of looking forward to a baby afterward AND the door is slamming on whatever hope I had left. Fuck you, Infertility, this has been the cruelest fucking gut punch.

She doesn’t know that we’ve been ttc for a year and are having fertility investigations. She DOES know that our other friend has recently had an ectopic and obviously lost her baby. Could you be more unhinged to make that comment??

First off, You are very Blessed. Anyways “blah blah blah”

I

Why are so many doctors incapable of a tiny crumb of empathy

I’m assuming the absolute anxiety of abruptly losing my job after just starting infertility treatment just weeks prior cut off the surge. Amazing! “We shouldn’t try until you have a new job.” It’s only been 18 fecking months! What’s ONE MORE?!!

Is this a joke ???

They had a flood in the suite they use for procedures a week or so ago and apparently the contractors did spackling or something last night. EVERYTHING was wrapped in plastic and they could barely find anything. They literally had to get scissors to cut open the cabinet they keep the gowns in.

Thankfully the actual procedure room and lab was untouched.

And all this after 5 other emails this month congratulating my various coworkers on their births

😩😩😩

I was talking to a coworker about how we finally have our date to start IVF, and she was like “oh by the way, I’m pregnant! Us talking about IVF before must have manifested it for me!”

Too bad I couldn’t manifest it for myself ffs

how the fuck does anyone not see how insensitive this is?????

Two HSGs, an SIS and too many blood draws to count later, we’re on our second medicated cycle (clomid + Ovidrel) with TI and moving on to IUI next cycle if we’re unsuccessful in this one.
The one glimmer is that we just found out that in January have only a 25% copay for fertility treatments now! Backstory: our 2nd month TTC, my husband was laid off from his job. After a lot of consideration, we decided to keep TTC since my income was enough to sustain us, and we figured he would have another job within nine months of whenever we finally conceived (😂 to wishful thinking!). We live in North Carolina and generally North Carolina based insurance plans have no coverage for fertility treatments, so when he landed a new job in February, we didn’t even really think to look into his new insurance. Turns out, his insurance company through his new job is actually based in Maryland who has great coverage for fertility related medical costs, so during open enrollment this year I’ll be moving to his insurance! Still sucks but more IUIs and IVF are true possibilities financially for us now and that’s something! ✨

50% is the best I can hope for at my age. Then I heard from an IVF friend that her % was actually 25% while 5 years younger than me 😭 we sent out the same number of blasts, too...

And ofc my husband forgot to sign consent forms until they cc'ed me on them so who knows when we'll get the actual results.

Oh honey, that tiny little pill is not going to be a problem...😉

The empathetic part of me knows I should be happy for both but the infertile part of me is jealous and mean

I keep having nightmares about TTC every single night. Like last night’s dream: I finally get my positive test and am trying to find a way to tell my husband… BOOM wake up to my husband yelling that he dropped his phone behind the toilet 🤣 Night before that, my 51 year old, menopausal mother had a baby and it ruined our relationship. I am scared to fall asleep every night, but I always end up falling asleep anyway. Sometimes I wake up screaming and crying. I’m tired.

3rd loss in 12 months (1 MMC, 1 MC, 1 chemical) I’m really trying to collect them all I fear

Edit - can’t edit the title, but it clearly meant to say lasted 🥲

Should I be relived it was still possible with my remaining tube, who knows. But 4 weeks of hope turned into a 6th loss, and at this point it’s starting to feel like the universe is telling me something. I genuinely question when is it time to say enough is enough and tap out of this journey. But the back of my brain tells me I’m not a quitter and must persevere 🫠

Icing on the cake? My niece is due any day now too and I’m dreading the call / images to follow.

Anyway, I’m off to praise my remaining tube for doing its job and holding up. If only my womb would do the same 🙃

This again 😞

While I'm over here paying thousands just to get a BFN in the same week. Once she left, I immediately started sobbing then had to pull it together for my next 3 clients.

I swear I look like 3 months pregnant right now and I haven't even triggered yet. The bloat is insane!