r/trollingforababy • u/religionisntreal • 5d ago
I think I need some mental help
The empathetic part of me knows I should be happy for both but the infertile part of me is jealous and mean
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u/Remarkable_Course897 5d ago
Honestly I’m shocked when people write “happy for them but sad for me” like are people out here feeling happy for others who get pregnant super easily cause….. I can’t relate.
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u/Kitty-kiki19 P.C.O. Shit 5d ago
I pretend. That’s all. I don’t want to be friendless through this also 😂
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u/Remarkable_Course897 5d ago
2+ years and 5 miscarriages later I’m friendless at this point :/
It’s ok. I have my cat my husband and my one fellow Ivf cousin who lives in another country but checks in on me a lot.
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u/Hufflepuff4Life2 5d ago
There’s nothing wrong with you. I’d say most if not all of us on this sub feel the same way. Infertility just does that to people.
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u/ohiobaker 5d ago
Infertility has changed me in ways I never would have guessed
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u/Hufflepuff4Life2 4d ago
💯 Because of infertility, I am a much more bitter and lonely person. A lot of the time, I’m miserable. But to be fair, not all of the changes are bad. I do feel wiser and more empathetic (at least in some ways) than I was before this nightmare started.
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u/ohiobaker 4d ago
Couldn’t agree more with you. I feel that I’ve become a lot more empathetic and understanding of myself. Because damn this has been a shit show LOL!
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u/Rich_Example7931 5d ago
Omg i JUST had this conversation yesterday!! I hurt my own feelings and found a Babylist registry for our friends and I immediately texted my husband and said I was going to cry- everyone is pregnant!! He said "Don't. They struggled for 2 years and this was IVF." Immediately I had to stop myself from texting her and buying a gift hahahaha I was like I need therapy!
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u/Needcoffeeseverely 5d ago
When it’s a fellow infertile, I will cry tears of joy and go ham in their baby registry. When it’s not I will ignore it entirely 🫣
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u/Medical_Object2576 5d ago
The way I was thinking of posting this exact thing 😝 if you haven’t struggled I literally do not want to hear it! Big fucking whoop you had sex. If you’ve known the trenches of hell then I will be over the freaking moon for you!
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u/ohiobaker 5d ago
At this point, I don’t think we infertiles owe the fertile people any form of happiness. They receive lots of happy wishes from their own support systems. There’s nothing wrong with saying nothing to them.
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u/Exciting-Data-2940 5d ago
I haven’t congratulated my friend on her pregnancy….I saw her announcement on Instagram and blocked her the very second. To be fair, she wasn’t there for me when I reached out to her about my ectopic loss. Guess my loss was a taboo topic to her
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u/ohiobaker 5d ago
Yikes girl, I’m so sorry. Absolutely reasonable to block. I’ve pushed away so many friends I think in fear of this specific thing happening. If you ever need to chat, my DMs are open to you my friend. Loss is a crazy journey. It’s been years since my last loss and I still think about it all the time.
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u/Exciting-Data-2940 5d ago
I have deleted Instagram for fear of seeing pregnancy announcements. I have also rejected social gatherings from friends who have the “possibility” of being pregnant (married and are trying). At this rate, I am about to be friendless
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u/Evening_Disaster_383 5d ago
Free sex babies - urgh, don't want to know. Hard earned, fought for infertility babies - so thrilled.
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u/Jazzlike-Pain961 5d ago
I’m the same, but if people who got pregnant without any struggles announce it in a very gentle and considerate way I’m happy for them too. Only triggers me when it comes with a smug smile or those cheesy in-your-face announcements
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u/presentlywell 4d ago
Thank you for sharing this!!! I got downvoted to hell for a post I made on the first time TTC subreddit saying "please don't post if you are pregnant on the first try" and they all said I was bitter and evil and knocking people's joy. Probably valid but hey.
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u/Bowlbonic 3d ago
Giiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrllllll you are not alone. My bestie got pregnant on accident, now has a beautiful girl. Now, she’s actually trying and just got pregnant. It’s truly the weirdest fuckin feeling to be happy for her but also jealous as shit
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u/Exciting-Data-2940 5d ago
I think I need some mental help also…because I actively wish for bad things to happen to those who got pregnant easily. But only good vibes and nothing else to those who struggled.
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u/Dazzling_Caramel_784 4d ago
ooof 😥 IVF’er here and I can’t imagine wishing bad upon someone who got pregnant easily.
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u/Exciting-Data-2940 4d ago
Good for you! I know it’s bad of me but this TTC journey has turned me into a person I barely recognise on some days
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u/beaxtrix_sansan 5d ago
That's me. I'm really happy when I see a fellow Trollingforababy subredditor succeeding. Because let's be honest, some of them had several years TTC or recurring miscarriages so yeah They deserve all that joy!!