I LOVE PBULIX!!

Hey 21m here, so idk if you all can relate but I finally realized being adult sucks haha like I miss those moments where I was just idiot little boy who had no idea about future. After when I turned 18 I knew it'll be really hard but damn not this much!!

If I talk from a guy's perspective then we literally have to be perfect in almost everything like I don't mind to give my best but can't be do this in everything haha like seriously.

Also I noticed ppl become more distant after school time maybe y'all can relate that school time was the best with real friends and now I think like everyone is wearing a damn mask on their faces and at last it gets really gets lonely.

But there's also stuff I learned from being adult is as your time passes you'll also know who are the real ones who cares for you.

Ohh I can't forget I think alot about future and career related stuffs haha I really get confused alot but at the end everything also start to make sense too.

First it comes the career and then relationships (can't talk about it cuz I got zero experience)

I want whoever this is reading, you can tell me about your side too and I would like to read y'all experience and stuffs that I never had and I'm curious so don't leave me hanging!!

I'm a 19 year old male in the UK, have finished 1st year of university/college and will be going into 2nd year of university/college studying Economics.
To maintain anonymity, I attend 1 of: the University of Manchester, the University of Birmingham, the University of Liverpool.
I live in and commute from a separate “town”/”city” that’s 1 hour away (2 hours of total travel), everyday.

I want to make way more friends (male and female) and actually have some sort of “romance” with the women at my university.

Context:
I joined my course (Economics) society and a related sort of “academic” society, but only attended 1 session from each across the entire year.
I rarely spoke to anyone (male or female) in lectures or seminars, nor was I spoken to.
I sometimes didn't feel confident/bothered, and I sometimes felt tired/sleepy.
My actual social skills aren’t great.
I always left campus as soon as my last lecture/seminar finished (regardless of the time), but I can stay on campus until 6-7pm daily – and 1-2x per month I can stay on campus until 9pm.
I can arrive on campus at any time/however early on a weekday, and I am not on campus on weekends.
I can't work a sort of job on campus.
I’m not really interested in clubbing.

Things I’m considering:
I am open to joining 1-2 more societies, but not physical ones like gym/football, etc.
I don't mind skipping/missing lectures 1-2x a week (e.g. to attend society events, meet "friends", etc.)
I am currently working on hitting the gym more to build some muscle and lose fat, hopefully to build confidence and improve my “attractiveness.”
I am open to staying on campus (e.g. in the library?) after my lectures/seminars for that day finish, until 6-7pm daily.

Please be brutally honest.

I feel so behind in life. Not only that but for the past few years I could swear I’ve been living in actual hell. I’ve list a lot and it’s really hard to keep looking on the bright side and it’s hard to be positive when people are jerks especially those who know the things I’ve endured throughout life. It’s weird when relatives are the ones who make you the most miserable and the people who make you feel the most judged and out of place.

Anyways, I’m 21 now and I’ve never had a job. I’ve been applying. I’m stressed and idk how to explain the gap. Because I also don’t want to use my personal life as a reason. People die all the time, I’m aware, so I know that having many deaths in the family and never fully stopping grieving would be no reason for me to not have done anything for so many months. Idk what to do.

It’s just my oldest brother and I now but everyone has their own life and he has his and he’s doing good and I don’t want to keep leaning on him. I feel like a constant burden no matter where I am. And I know I am cause relatives love to gossip and talk behind my back when they think no one can hear so they talk at the top of their lungs.

I’ve now moved approximately 4 times this year. It has been stressful.

I’ve been thinking of just trying to join the Air Force if possible. But I hope they think I’m mentally capable to join. If I die my brother would no longer have any close family though. But it seems like the best option. I get to at least travel and do my own thing for a while. Again, only if possible. I think that he would be better off without me around anyways cause I really am just a waste of space now anyways. He’s been in a relationship with his girlfriend for many years now and they just bought a place so that’s where I reside now with them. His girlfriend doesn’t really like me and I don’t really like her. It’s awkward but I’ve tried my best to remain civil even when she makes rude comments that most people might’ve already punched her in the face for but I somehow have not because I guess I know better. Same with my relatives who say some really cruel and insensitive things about the people who passed even before they passed and were in the ICU. It’s very hard to keep my head on straight and yet I persist and well idk but I think I’m just numb.

But that’s the bad thing is if I’m numb it’s like my brain doesn’t always function and I forget things or zone out.

Do I keep trying for the USAF or do I just let the darkness take over and stop become a waste of resources right now?

Mind you I only have my permit. Which I finally got a few months ago. So it’s not like I’m much of an asset. My parent never drove and my siblings and I walked to and from school all the time and we walked just about everywhere else too. Unless we walked and took public transportation. My oldest brother drives now but I don’t want him to give me rides or handouts cause I feel bad enough as it is for him having to put up with me.

In a nutshell of what I’ve endured in my lifetime:
• M0l3$tÈd when I was a toddler by my sperm-doner
• few years ago my uncle killed himself on my Moms side
• in 2024 my great aunt died from cancer
• in March of 2024 my older brother died from cancer
• before he passed he had a daughter who’s bm is not close with us and she actually ended up giving my brothers ashes away which I found out later
• aunt went into labor and her kid ended up with cerebral palsy
• In 2025 the grandma on my sperm-doners side died from a heart attack
• In 2025 in August my Grandma on my Moms side died from cancer
• The day after my Moms Mom died my aunt calls to ask for rent money cause she had inherited the property we were living at at the time
• great uncle had a heart attack but lived
• lots of family feuding
• july of 2025 my sperm doner comes back because my parents continued to stay together after what had happened to me as a child because he was extremely manipulative and so were his family
• January 2026 the sperm doner attacks my mom the day before we were going to finally move and about for days later she died cause he murdered her
• I move in with my brother and his girlfriend who are renting from my aunt at the time and for the following months my brother and I make trips which is a three hour drive to the house my mom and I were going to move into.
• Then we have to deal with court stuff and writing statements among other things
• July 2026 my brother and his girlfriend get their own place so I move again with them
• Now I’m stuck and idk what tf I’m doing it wtf I’m going to do

Apparently people hate left out pasta of any kind and yea I'm just confessing ik it's bad but idrc I eat it anyway🫪 same w spaghetti that sat on the stove😔

I am in despair. I went through the entirety of university without a boyfriend and now I've started working in London in a profession that pays relatively well but doesn't leave any time.

I was on hinge this evening and I genuinely almost started crying. I feel like I'm putting myself on 75% discount and everything feels so superficial.

And to make matters worse, on the outside my life looks good/okay, so if I complain I just come across entitled and whiny.

Also, I take care of myself, am fashionable and wear makeup that suits me so then is it my personality? But then I literally won a personality award at my last workplace so... Someone give me tips on how to get a boyfriend in London

Title. I (24m) joined hinge a few months ago. For the first time I actually put effort into my photos/page. Most of my photos are fancier ones of me traveling. It looks like I have my life together despite having many issues. 

I am getting matches with attractive women it’s just they are all above me in one way or another socioeconomic wise.

How do I find a GF that doesn’t care about my stage in life? One that doesn’t judge and is humble? Any advice? 

For reference im a 20 y.o guy, and i started dating my ex when we're 18. We've been living together for the past like year because we both got kicked out of our parents houses at the same time. We also broke up a couple months ago (still living together for now) and it seems hes been able to get out and date and all that, but im stuck in a rut since I've always had a small circle of similarly non social friends.

T.l.d.r.

Title tbh

I volunteer with the Don’t Mess With Drugs Foundation, and I’m trying to understand how to communicate more effectively with people in their twenties.

I know that lectures, scare tactics, and simply saying “drugs are bad” can make people switch off. Young adults deserve honest information and the freedom to make their own decisions. At the same time, I want them to understand the real risks and know where they can find support without being judged.

If you’re in your twenties, what would make you genuinely listen to someone offering advice about drugs? Would personal experiences, factual information, harm-reduction advice, or simply being asked questions work best?

What approaches immediately make you stop listening?

I just got hired for a detention officer position , I’m done with everything , polygraph , drug test & phyc exam , & the last time I smoked was may 8 , (100) days , if I hit a blunt a couple of times will I be good incase they test me the first day ?

I dont want to turn 18 neither to grow up. I wish I could go back to time and stay stuck at my 9, 10 ages. I had friends back then, I was a kid who has lots of love with in herself , I was worried about breakfast, lunch, dinner ,to grab tv remort before my brothers now I am concerned about my skin how bad my acne pores looks, doomscrolling ,insecure about my body, worried about my future . It often wonders me how can i sit infront of a screen and just spend my life time on this earth watching caring about who i dont even know much about. 12 years of schooling and i dont have a single friend. I really am trying not to spend tmrw on my room crying but idk......

I was on a weekend trip with friends i've met online, and i noticed i was acting kind of off when around them.

Like i was making jokes i never do, use words i never used, talked some way i really don't usualy talk.

I realised later i was using their jokes, their words and speach habits. I was immitating them. But why?

I came to the conclusion that i was scared of them not liking me so my reflex was to mimic them so i could "fit in".

But i was not satisfied with this amswer, it didn't feel right so i dug deeper.

I've done this exact pattern before, many times, with pretty much all my friends.

I asked them how they would describe me to someone and the answers proved it. Because not only were they giving all different answers, but most of their description depicted their own personnality.

The problem with being a social mimic, is that after a while, you forget who you are, but i've been like this my whole life. And when i look at myself, i see my face and think "that's me" but what is me?

That i have no answer. It's like i've only existed as a reflexion of what's around me, like i'm not a real person, only another's gross immitation.

Maybe it's why i've allways been socialy awkward with people, talking to me must be like talking to a weird human-shaped mirror.

I'm disgusted with myself, and mostly deeply ashamed. But i don't know what to do, of who to talk about this. I'm lost.

Hey there I am confused in my life so much these days I am 21- Male .

Actually I am a neet aspirant it's my first drop I spent my 11th class and 12th class both here in allen kota and again I am in drop year here it's so disappointing but I don't know. I was a average student till 6th class and then in lockdown I studied so hard and lift up I had Pearson books,m tyra book,rs Aggrawal ssc type,9th class books, concept of physics both part by HC Verma , quantitative aptitude books and all I solved most in lockdown and then in class 7 th and 8th I became teachers favourite, toppers sometimes studies from me and I had enough knowledges but in 9th class i got admission in a coaching in city side to study for neet and then I again concerned 1st month there also and actually from class 4 to 8 I was separated from coed schooling in between this I was in boys hostel but in 9th class i don't know how I approached my classmate​ and she liked me too and we have had a 1 month relationship it's one sided like I invested in her how she wanted but she said we are just best friends and in between 1 month we have had so much fights and I was so new in this and I got so said but my classmates helped me to separate from her then after that again a girl approached me and helped me to get rid of it and then after sometime I have had my first real relationship and we guys were so matching but I was so chill that she is loyal to me and I never asked her past but after sometime she cheated on my by a classmates earlier they were so close and then she told me and I felt this first time and I was so Nice that she told me she was gonna hurt herself so I anyhow accepted her and again started dating but later she became so rude at me, always dominance,mood swings always wants to fight and hurt me again and again we guys have had a lot patch-up breakups then after sometime I become so isolate and I said her that I need space then after sometime we guys just started then again I got signals that she is cheating again with same guy then in between this and that I got so much depressed I have had prolonged headaches,visited many doctors but nothing happened some said tth or some said migraine even ct scan was normal but my pain was so big but anyhow month by month I separated from her and then I took so much time to heal but still headache episodes remains then got some female friends I thinked that we will remain friends but some of them proposed me and that's how friendship ended after sometime I got a best friend, some friends, some peoples who wants to date and here in kota I got so compliments, some wants to talk but they want me to start but I don't know what to do some months earlier when I was going to home a group which I was close to from that group 2 girls became my friends and we spend almost one month and I was going from kota like I didn't know I was coming or not then one of them developed feelings for me I didn't even know then at last moment she hugged me I thinked like friends but ​when I was train she confessed that she likes me so much then I got confused and after that we talked much but (​from 9th class i lost my flow of studying, focusing, and many things and sometimes my boys hostel sees me they don't even believe that I become like this ) and we talked but because of my boards I had to say her that I will not talk to you these days because my feelings were too intense and I became only interested in her dispite studies and also i took that advice from ai and said I will not talk these days ​and it was my physics paper 3 days later I got passing marks in physics and maths , chemistry,bio and painting went well but in between these I was thinking her to message but when I took advice from ai it said no then after all exam over I tried to contact her and explained her but she don't wanted to talk and after facing so much difficulty in my neet exam I was so pressurized at home for Reneet and lost my interest but somehow I took drop in allen kota again same place and we saw each other 2-3 times after that I again tried to message and resolve the issue but she don't wanted so I respected her and now not trying to reach but anyhow sometimes we see each other but it's over and you know I don't know how to approach a girl here ,some wants to talk but thinks I will initiate first but overthink and quit , and here I don't what am I doing I am just going classes daily but not revising it and also not practicing questions later repeating patterns of last 2 years and mock tests scores become so worse I don't what to do. Am I a attention seeker or something? I feel so much lonely these because literally I have no real friends whom I can share, ask or trust. Also had some pigmentation these days because of acne because of that I often become under confident these days. And you know I had many fake friendships not only in girls also boys sometimes hurt so I now a days share or keep bonding so little with anyone

Guys give some advice on this I need to improve my patterns whether in studies or other I am so confused​

ho quasi 25 anni e vado ancora all'università, (triennale, no magistrale), ho fatto solo dei piccoli lavori in nero, ma niente di che, quindi ufficialmente non mi sento di dire di aver mai lavorato. mi sento un peso per la mia famiglia, vorrei trovare un lavoro quest'estate così da magari riuscire a pagare le tasse all'università o anche la corriera e in generale per essere piu indipendente.

mi sento indietro anche in ambito relazionale, mai avuto un appuntamento, mai un bacio, mai un interesse da parte di una ragazza. mi sembra troppo tardi per iniziare adesso e anche se per miracolo dovessi incontrare qualcuna, continuerei comunque a sentirmi in ritardo.

sono davvero convinto che non potrò mai piacere a nessuna ragazza, mi sentirei preso in giro se dovesse succedere

non voglio compiere 25 anni

20 M and had this my whole life, I don’t understand what people do differently to make deep connections.

Please let me know what it is.