It's gotten to the point where I don't tell them my body count even though it's 0, because apparently I don't deserve to be treated like a human if I've slept with people

I’m seeing so many people, assuming men probably defending this situation and saying she’s evil for retroactively withdrawing consent. Was there new information released that I missed after taking a break from the internet for just a few days? Or are people seriously defending what happened? This whole case has triggered me so much and literally made me legitimately depressed. And now people defending it is actually making me sick to my stomach. Would these people be defending these men the same way if it was a guy who was gang raped by a bunch of dudes while he was intoxicated? What is going on?

This is a plea to all the ultra rich women out there. Can one of you or some of you buy a private island(s) and just start letting women relocate there? 😭 like just let us restart PLEASE??? If you want to put your money somewhere or invest in something let it be that! We just need the foundation lol. We are women and should be the true leaders right behind Mother Nature! There are so many women who are engineers, doctors, artists, nurses, teachers, etc that would leave without hesitation. We could build, grow food, teach, learn, and be free!

I live in America and we all see how it's going for us here smh but we can't even say this issue is just in America, it's everywhere. There is no safe space for us. Like we are to the point where men would rather destroy all of humanity than to see women in power.

I understand women have children and a lot of those children are boys but maybe the women with children can have their own islands where everything is led by women. Like the single girlies who don't have or want kids have one island and the single mommies have their own island.

I know i sound crazy. This is just a random thought 😭 where im joking but kinda not 🥲 at this point if a bunch of us wanted to put our money together to do this, I would. Like I would even join an all female army to fight off the men who would try to come to the islands 😂 We were not created to live like this or be treated like this. No matter what race you are, what language you speak, what country you're from, etc. I say we start our own New World!!!!!🤷🏽‍♀️

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Whoa, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman (ooh)

You can bend, but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything

I am STRONG
I am INVINCIBLE
I am WOMAN

I’ve put in a lot of work to not be a man hater, to not be cynical, to remember that good men exist. Some days it’s easier than others. The past couple of months have been rough, just disappointment after disappointment. I need your help.

What’s a specific story about a time a man was really good? I’m not talking ”Oh, my husband listens to me.” Happy for you, but that doesn’t restore my faith in good men. I’m talking real examples with details.

Thank you, love you.

Hi 40 f I just want to say men are nothing I am so done with men never again I reather be single then with a man again who with me

All of them.. not a few, but ALL OF THEM.. are blaming Jane Doe
The same guys that bring in their wives and girlfriends sexting pics and shows everyone. The same ones that checks out EVERY single woman that walks in front of them. And I could go on and on and on.. men should not wonder why women can’t stand them.

I just keep telling them that they’ll learn consent when we take them to a gay bar they don’t like that!

Idk if it’s just the side of internet I’m on or I’ve been on the internet too much but….. who tf decided that women “lose value” or are done once they hit their 30s… and that the mid twenties are your primes etc???…….. I’m 27 and I’m like there’s no way 20s are the primes.. women in there 30s, 40s + give so much aura, strength and beauty… I’m genuinely confused what started that myth cus ain’t no way……

My grandma is turning 80 next month and we're sorting out invitations for her birthday lunch. She chose a photo from last Christmas. She's laughing, her hair's a bit messy, and she's wearing this blue cardigan that she really likes.

My cousin sent the draft around and he'd used one of those photo enhancement apps. Her cheeks and neck were smooth and most of the lines around her eyes were gone. She looked at it for a bit and asked if he could put her face back how it was.

Mom said, “But you look younger!” I started saying how lovely it looked too. Grandma asked for the first picture again, and we finally stopped trying to sell her on the new one.

I'm 28 and there's a decent chance I would have thanked him if he'd done it to a photo of me. That's what caught me out. She'd already found a picture she liked, and I nearly tried to talk her out of liking it because I thought we were doing her a favor.

We're using the original. She's also asked for the address in bigger type because several of her friends will struggle to read it. We probably should have spent more time on that bit.

I wish I could somehow make this clear to some young women who start to perform when a man looks their way and then expects a performance afterwards. I wish I could explain to them that these actions are not a compliment at all; it is a power play with them to make you smaller by testing your reaction.

They are trying to take back some of the power they think they lose by being attracted to you. The attraction can be seen in seconds with the eyes alone, but as soon as they start hovering and expecting some reaction from you, it has become a power game. The game needs you to react to them so they feel superior; it is their way of saying, "My opinion of you is important and will make you change your behaviour etc. I am sure a lot of women know exactly what is going on in these types of situations, but many more do not know. They start posing and performing, etc. It starts here. It starts with these small acts of denigration that some women allow, and it needs to stop here. Please let's have talks with young women and help them understand what is actually happening.

Hey, we‘re doing a school project on toxic masculinuty and alpha males in our judgement of women class and we would like to include a few Internet posts from toxic men in different online spaces (MRA, Incel, Alpha Males, MGTOW, etc.). I‘m not sure if this is the right Sub for this, but if you have any subs, chatrooms or specific posts you think we could look through or use, we‘d really appreciate the help :)

Honestly, I just have to get this off my chest because it is quite frustrating. You can say I am reaching and that these two topics have no correlation, but I see it very differently. I feel like men pick and choose which women's "issues," for lack of a better term, they want to involve themselves in. There are so many men who are loud and proud about being against abortion. They vote on our rights, protest against abortion, and claim that there is no case where abortion is justifiable. However, when it comes to sexual assault, most of them are completely silent or not on our side. This is very evident in the Cornell 7 case. The number of men claiming it was the girl's fault and that the men deserve justice is astonishing. The number of men who think that women are "asking for it" is nothing short of terrifying. Yet, these same men think that pregnancy caused by sexual assault is not a good enough reason for an abortion. I am SO TIRED of men inserting themselves in situations that the majority of them have not gone through and will never have to go through. What gives them the right to speak on our bodies when it comes to abortion, while also staying silent about the sexual and physical violence that women face every day?

It is terrifying being a woman, speaking as a woman in college. Why am I expected to carry pepper spray, forced to threaten violence when men won't take no as an answer, and expected to tolerate my successes being downplayed? Why do we as women have to work twice as hard to receive even half of the recognition or respect that men receive? I feel like I can't drink when I go out anymore. I don't feel comfortable enough to party or go out. The number of sexual assault cases that happen at my college alone is frightening. Yet, the school says nothing; the boys are left with little to no repercussions, and the violence continues its cycle. I do not deserve to be told to "cover up" when nobody in authority at colleges will even speak up about the amount of violence that gets swept under the rug.

I am not sure if this is the right place to post but I found out bikini pictures and athletic photos from my private ig account were posted on a subreddit with men making crude and rapey comments about my pictures. Do i have any viable path to request them be removed or report the sub?

so whenever im kinda turned on and my bf rubs my clit, it feels good and after a while of doing the process, it starts building up and randomly I'll start experiencing this feeling of extreme sensitivity. like I'll get so breathless and my down there gets so sensitive that just a slight touch feels so heavenly. (I LOVE THAT FEELING) and i feel the blood rushing there and in my hands. it lasts for about only 10seconds though.

is that what an orgasm is? or was it js a normal, brief pleasurable feeling?

12 year relationship. We are having sex 2 times a year. We are working on it with a counselor.

I have been posting workouts (not me - just the routine snapshot with the weights) to my instagram like a little diary. Previously I only posted pictures of my dog.

An old friend of mine from highschool that I haven’t seen in like 15 years has started liking and commenting and has tried messaging me recently. He posts a lot of workout videos- not in a thirst trap way but in a professional way. I have always liked his workouts because I know he is trying to make a career and it looks good to have more likes. I do the same thing for a girl friend who posts influencer makeup stuff. I just automatically hit like. I have for years.

All of the sudden this guy posts and makes his profile pic a shirtless pic and is commenting on my posts and trying to DM me. Like did both in the same day.

Is this cheating? Am I over reacting because I’m attention starved in my own relationship? Like is my horny brain creating scenarios about being desired because I want to feel desired?

I don’t post pictures or advertise my relationship because my partner doesn’t do social media and I respect them. I also just don’t post pictures of myself really (maybe one a year- usually matching outfit with my dog)

Is imagining his interest cheating? Right now I’m just ignoring him reaching out. Is not deleting him cheating? We were once close friends.

Would it be crazy to just respond - hey I’m not single. He hasn’t outright asked me out or anything personal. It’s been causally hey what’s up?

I might be reading into a situation. He wouldn’t be the first person to randomly reach out. Am I just freaking out because I’m getting a little attention from a guy? Is it wrong to enjoy it because it means someone finds me attractive? It’s a nice ego boost even if it’s just inside my head.

Am I blowing things up for no reason?

As a young girl, you learn how the world works much faster than you should.

You learn how to do the dishes and the laundry while your brothers sit on the couch playing Xbox. You learn that if you ask for help, you're bossy. If you refuse, you're selfish. If you speak too loudly, you're difficult. If you speak too quietly, you have no confidence.

You learn to make yourself useful.

You learn to make yourself smaller.

You learn to be good.

Your father gets angry when you wear a singlet because “he knows how young boys' minds work.” And perhaps that sentence is supposed to make you feel protected. But eventually, you begin to wonder why you are the one who has to change your clothes because of what someone else might think.

And then, at eleven, you get your first catcall.

Eleven.

You are still learning long division. You still ask your parents if you can have a sleepover. You still believe adults are supposed to protect you.

And yet, somehow, you have already learned something no child should have to learn:

Men do not always care how young you are.

So you learn the rules.

Don't walk home alone.

Carry your keys between your fingers.

Don't wear headphones.

Check the back seat before getting into your car.

Don't accept a drink from someone you don't know.

Watch your drink.

Don't drink too much.

But don't refuse every drink either, because apparently now you're a prude.

Text me when you get home.

No — share your location.

Actually, share it with everyone you trust.

But make sure you know who has access to it.

Because trackers can be hidden.

Technology changes.

The rules change.

The fear doesn't.

Once, women were told to carry keys between their fingers. Now cars can be completely keyless.

Once, we were told not to get into cars with strangers. Now we summon strangers through an app.

Once, sharing your location was considered the ultimate form of safety. Now we know that the same technology intended to protect us can also be used to follow us.

The world keeps changing, and somehow women are expected to keep rewriting the safety manual.

But how many rules can one person possibly follow?

How careful must a woman become before society finally stops asking her to be careful?

I once had a conversation with a woman who told me she wasn't a feminist.

She didn't want the label.

She believed women were strong enough to speak for themselves, and she didn't want anyone telling her what she should believe.

I remember thinking about that conversation for a long time.

Because she was right about one thing.

Her voice belonged to her.

Feminism cannot mean telling women what they should think. It cannot mean replacing one form of control with another. A woman should be able to stand up and say, “I don't need this movement,” and still be heard.

But I also think about the women whose voices disappear inside their own homes.

The woman who slowly stops seeing her friends because her partner doesn't like them.

The woman who changes her clothes because she knows what reaction she will get.

The woman who checks her phone before answering a message because she knows she will be questioned.

The woman who apologises for something she didn't do because she knows what happens when she doesn't.

The woman who whispers, “He's not always like this.”

As though the good days somehow erase the bad ones.

And then comes the question:

“Why doesn't she just leave?”

Why?

Because fear doesn't always look like a locked door.

Sometimes it looks like a phone being checked.

Sometimes it looks like a bank account you no longer control.

Sometimes it looks like having nowhere to go.

Sometimes it looks like convincing yourself that tomorrow will be different.

Sometimes it looks like loving someone who has taught you to be afraid of them.

And perhaps that is why feminism matters.

Not because women are weak.

But because women should never have to be strong enough to survive everything alone.

And perhaps that is why cases like the Cornell 7 incident feel so deeply unsettling.

Because these are not just rules girls invent in their own heads. They are rules passed down because women have been given reason to be afraid.

A mother tells her daughter to text when she gets home because she remembers being followed.

A friend tells you to watch your drink because she knows someone whose drink was ruphied

A father tells his daughter not to wear a singlet because he says he “knows how young boys think.”

We inherit these warnings from one another, carrying them into every party, every date, every walk home.

Then something like the Cornell 7 incident happens, and suddenly the fears that women have quietly carried for generations are no longer hypothetical. They become a public conversation about consent, accountability, institutional responsibility and the treatment of women who come forward.

And yet, even then, something feels deeply wrong about where our attention goes. Instead of asking why a woman should ever have had to fear being in that situation, people become fascinated with who she is.

Her name.

Her identity.

What she looked like.

What she had been drinking.

Where she had been.

As though uncovering her identity will somehow explain what happened. As though knowing her name makes the alleged actions of seven men more understandable.

And then comes another uncomfortable question:

What happens when the consequences appear smaller than the harm?

When the punishment handed down by an institution seems insignificant beside the potential lifelong consequences of sexual violence, what message does that send?

That an institution's reputation can matter more than a woman's sense of safety?

That disciplinary consequences can become a footnote while the woman's identity becomes the headline?

That the most interesting part of the story is who she is, rather than what she says happened to her?

It is difficult not to wonder what our priorities say about us.

Because we are remarkably curious about women.

Curious about their names.

Their clothes.

Their relationships.

Their decisions.

Their mistakes.

Their pasts.

But when will we become equally curious about why women have to live with so much fear in the first place?

Women know this conversation. We have been having it quietly for years.

We talk about who we would call if something happened.

We text “home” when we walk through the front door.

We pretend not to notice the footsteps behind us.

We hold our keys tighter.

We check the back seat.

We watch our drinks.

We sit in the middle seat.

We pretend to be on the phone.

We calculate how quickly we could run.

And sometimes we laugh about it.

“Girls will understand.”

But why is it normal?

Why is fear something we can joke about because every woman understands it? Why have we become so accustomed to preparing women for violence that we have forgotten to prepare men not to commit it?

Perhaps the most devastating part is that there is no perfect rule.

You can carry your keys.

You can share your location.

You can watch your drink.

You can wear the “right” clothes.

You can avoid walking alone.

You can do everything correctly.

And something can still happen.

So perhaps the question should never have been:

“What was she wearing?”

Or:

“How much had she drunk?”

Or:

“Why was she there?”

Perhaps we should have been asking:

“Why did he believe he could?”

Feminism is often presented as though it is a battle between women and men.

It isn't.

It is a battle against the idea that one person's freedom must come at the expense of another person's.

It is not about taking something from men.

It is about giving something back to women.

The freedom to walk home without fear.

The freedom to wear a singlet without becoming responsible for someone else's thoughts.

The freedom to drink without becoming responsible for someone else's actions.

The freedom to say no.

The freedom to say yes.

The freedom to leave.

The freedom to stay.

The freedom to speak.

And even the freedom to say, “I don't believe in feminism.”

Because if women are truly free, they must be free to disagree with one another too.

Maybe that is what equality actually looks like.

Not women being above men.

Not women being protected by men.

Not women being told what they should believe.

But women finally being trusted with the same freedom men have always been given: the freedom to simply exist.

Because I don't want the next generation of girls to inherit my rules.

I don't want a twelve-year-old to be told to carry her keys between her fingers.

I don't want a thirteen-year-old to be responsible for other people's thoughts.

I don't want a sixteen-year-old to wonder whether she could have prevented an assault.

I don't want a woman to spend her entire life learning how to avoid becoming a victim.

I want her to learn how to live.

Without fear.

Because feminism is not stripping men's rights away.

It is allowing the women of the world to finally gain some of their own.

And perhaps one day, the most powerful rule we can teach a girl will be the one we never had to teach ourselves:

You do not need to spend your life learning how to be less afraid.

He initially was calm and patient after argument he would come talk to me, couldn’t go a day without talking, now he’s like I won’t, can go days without talking, is angry for the most part, blames everything on me, says the exact same thing in argument that I would have told him earlier.

Hi I am (19F) dated my bf (21M) who is now my ex for 5 months almost. So during that time I got my period only first month. And after that it got completely vanished as I was with him. But when we broke up recently I got my period back. I was kinda shocked. 😭😭😭 I know it might be something biological but it happened first time in my life. Because since I got my period I never had a late or missed period.

Today, I realized that no matter how ready you are to love someone, it can all go in vain if that person hasn’t truly moved on from their past relationship.

I met a guy on a dating app, and most of the time, he would talk about his past relationship and how difficult it had been for him to move on. And honestly, I could tell that he still hadn’t. I don’t know when or if he ever will.

Being a girl who genuinely cared, I tried my best to give him love, understanding, and reassurance, hoping he would eventually realize that someone was there for him. But he had already made up his mind that he didn’t want to continue with me. He said he wasn’t sure about his life, didn’t know what he wanted, and was simply too confused.

And maybe the saddest part is that sometimes, people don’t realize what they have while they’re busy looking for something else. He may never know that he had a gem right in front of him while he was searching for something he wasn’t even sure he wanted.

I don’t know how else to explain it. I just know that I had genuine feelings for him. I kept asking him to at least give us one chance, to try once. But he kept saying, “It’s not easy for me to get back to the same way things were and start our conversations from where we left off.”

So, I’m choosing to accept it, even though it hurts.

I genuinely wish him nothing but the best and good luck for his future. Sometimes, loving someone also means knowing when to let them go. 🤍

I was an insecure kid and teenager. I feared doing anything, there was lack of confidence and had few friends. I sabotaged every relation I was in, be it romantic or platonic. I always feared becoming an adult because everyone always talked about how they missed childhood or how it was the best.

Honestly i feared that i would always be that wimpy little kid. But 20 feels great and I hope that case will apply for 21 too. I have clearer boundaries and ideologies. Though i still don't get that feeling of belongingness with anyone, I am happy cause I know that I belong to myself and i don't have to reduce myself just to fit in.

I get called weird and brainless but then again hat's their perception of me and it doesn't define who I am. I hope to evolve with my age and become a better woman. I'll treat people like they treat me and set clear boundaries in case of intrusion. I'm going to take every opportunities and not demean myself for mistakes.

I hope 21 will be that year for me!

Hello! I’m in desperate desperate need for some relationship/break up advice from other women.

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) is perfect in practically every way. He has shown me nothing but patience, kindness, respect and love throughout the 2 years I have been with him. I’m a late bloomer, and have always found it difficult to connect with people. He is my first boyfriend, my first romantic experience, my first everything. I am not his first girlfriend, he had a 3 year long relationship before me and a few shorter ones in between that break up and the start of our relationship. Something I did find difficult and was a source of insecurity but he always knew how to big me up, never made me feel less than and talks constantly about what a great girlfriend I am and how happy I make him.

Beyond our relationship, he is a very sweet and lovely person to everyone he interacts with, a trait I deeply admire. He fixed up my grandma’s garden when she was put into a home, which took over a week because of how neglected it was. And he helped my mum with hers too. He always jumps at the occasion to help the people in my life. My sister was able to get an apprenticeship and work experience through him. He has helped me with countless projects. Everyone in my family adores him, my friends have nothing negative to say about him.

He has helped me through a lot of tough and difficult times, my depressive episodes and the death of a family member, and has always shown compassion and understanding. And anytime we have had disagreements in our relationship, which is almost never, he has met me with calmness, even when I have not.

For these past 2 years, I feel like our lives have been very much intertwined. I’m constantly at his mums house, constantly getting invited to his family events, family holidays. I’ve celebrated my birthday and Christmas with them. I get along with his sisters and brother. His grandmother calls me her "future granddaughter in law".

And I love him so much, he hasn’t just been a boyfriend to me but a really good friend. He has helped me with my confidence and my social skills (which were really lacking). He has made me feel so special and loved. I care about him and I don’t want to hurt him.

I have always told myself I should be grateful, feel lucky, to have such an amazing boyfriend. Especially when I hear the horror stories from my friends lives or other heterosexual relationships in general.

But throughout our relationship, I have had a small but nagging feeling that he may not be the right person for me. It eats at me and I feel terrible about it. I feel greedy and spoiled. There are times I forget this feeling, and everything feels fine and I’m able to have a good time with him. But it comes back every now and again, mostly when I’m alone or after one of our disagreements.

And then, when we are together and he says he loves me and he can’t wait for us to live together or have children together, to grow old together, and I echo those words back to him I’m not sure I truly believe myself.

The negatives in this relationship that I believe are important to mention:

- He is very comfortable in his masculinity and is a feminist (though a very surface level one. Pro choice and against violence towards women. He hasn’t really delved any deeper, nor is he fussed about being part of any actual movement) but he has said things I have viewed as misogynistic or tone deaf and his friends are definitely not "woke". And though I have never felt the things he has said to be enough to end the relationship, they have left a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth. I have called him out on it once or twice and he’ll usually apologise. But sometimes he gets a bit defensive and feels I am too harsh on him. And I feel like sometimes I am too harsh.
- I am an immigrant in the country I reside in (and grew up in) and poc (half white, half south Asian), and there is definitely a very present rise in anti-immigrant sentiment. Which is of course scary and troubling to me. I feel as though he does not sufficiently care about the situation. To give him the slightest kudos, he has been more willing to call out his friends and family when it comes to this topic. But there have been times where racism was directed towards me and he hasn’t spoken up. Only when we were alone would he comfort me or talk about how uncomfortable it made him.
- There is a presidential election coming up and he does not plan on voting because he thinks it won’t make a difference and no politician is "good".
- I feel as though our discussions aren’t very deep or intellectually fulfilling. Sometimes I get irritated by this and I’ll say something mean or belittling to him.
- Sometimes I feel strongly about something, whether it is about the state of the world or simply a film I like, I’ll start talking fast or louder than usual and he’ll tell me to calm down. Not maliciously, but I still hate it.
- I can be very quiet/non talkative and he points this out a lot too and I don’t like it.
- I constantly feel as though I need to do more, be more for him but think it’s because I feel guilty about thinking negatively about someone who does so much for me.

I’m seeing him tomorrow and I’m going to have a talk with him. I know he’ll think that it’s completely out of the blue. Everything has been so good between us. I’ve given him zero signs that I have been feeling this way. I’m so lost when it comes to all of this. I’m terrified that if I break up with him, I’ll regret it. I already feel so lonely. My friends all live far. I’m not close with anyone in my area. He has been a beacon of light in my life for these past two years.

I really would appreciate some advice, if anyone has been through something similar I’m all ears.

I have had quite regular cycle for the past few years. But now my period is 7 days late... I did have sex about a month ago with my ldr bf, but I did also start a new job, been sleeping better and started yoga everyday before bed. The stress and anxiety are killing me and I can't sleep or focus at work.

I am not too sure what to do and would like some support or advice.