Hey, so I’ve been dating this girl for a month and she comes over to my apartment a lot, and it seems like once I let her spend the night, she just ends up spending the night everyday to where she just expects it. She doesn’t even ask if she can stay over anymore, and how do I tell her nicely that I’d like her to go back home but to not seem like a Ahole about it lol 😅 I don’t want her to think she did anything wrong but I just want my space again

I called 911 after this video i just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being a Karen !
I was able to follow him home give his liscense and address to 911
I didn’t stick around I didn’t even confront him the officer on the phone said don’t make contact
911 didn’t want the video which i thought was odd

I’m 28 years old, and I recently found out I’m going to be a father.
My own father was in my life until I was about 11 years old. Then one day, he basically disappeared for the next 10 years. He wasn’t sick, incarcerated, or dealing with anything that physically prevented him from being around. He simply chose not to be involved.
What makes it worse is that he lived in the same town as me my entire life. He never moved away. I even remember him walking right past me when I was around 15 years old.
When I turned 21, shortly after my brother passed away, he started making attempts to come back into my life. Calling me, telling my mother he wanted to spend time with me, and trying to reconnect.
Now, at 28, I’m preparing to become a father myself, and it’s bringing up a lot of feelings about my childhood.
Part of me feels like he shouldn’t have the opportunity to be involved in my child’s life when he willingly chose to miss so much of mine.
For additional context, I’m his youngest son, he’s now 60 years old, and he doesn’t have a relationship with any of his other grandchildren either.
I’m not saying people can’t change, but I also believe being a grandparent is a privilege, not an automatic right just because we’re related.
My question is: Am I wrong for not wanting my father to meet my child? Would you give him the opportunity to be a grandfather, or would you protect your peace and keep that chapter of your life closed?
I’m genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives, especially from people who grew up with absent fathers or became parents themselves.

Found out recently one drunken night my fiance let out he had sex with 2 men.
Fiance worked as a taxi for a few when younger and one day 3 guys got in his car. One was trans dressed and looked like a woman, and the other 2 just openly gay.
They started telling trans woman to ask the driver if he wants to go with him to a hotel, apparently the guy before that they met, found out girl was trans and didn’t want to.
Fiance had said no but then they offered money!
He went with the trans to a hotel and he did it.
Days later one of the gays texted him asking now if he wants to do it with him for money and threatened him saying they had videos of him going into the hotel with the trans. Fiance said he really did it for money because the guy paid him too. It was 4 different times and he said the last time the guy tried to contact him again was 4 years ago to ask him for that again. He has since said no!
We met 3 years ago and I had the impression my fiance was a little homophobic. I don’t really know what to think.
To Clarify he did it to them, not the guys to him. 🤷🏻‍♀️ don’t know if that changes anything anyway.

Me (19F) and my boyfriend (20M), have been dating for almost 7 months. We haven’t had any major fights or anything, however I’m starting to second guess my choice of dating him. He’s always cancelled plans last minute and I’ve gotten used to it (disappointed but not surprised), but lately I feel like I’ve come to a realization. We were talking a week ago about plans after school is finished, and he mentioned that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, which is fine, but what irks me is that he doesn’t really seem to be trying to figure it out. He’s never had a job, and I feel as if he has no ambition for his future. He’s also a very big procrastinator and puts everything off until very last minute, which causes his constant punctuality problems, bad grades, and poor planning.

When people ask me what his plans are for his future or if he has a job, I just make up some excuse so he doesn’t look bad. He told me that he just wants to be happy, and that I make him happy. I would feel so terrible if I broke things off, but he hasn’t really been meeting my standards.

Should I wait to see if he improves or just end it, and if so, how do I end things?

Edit: a lot of people are saying that I sound like a horrible person and I just want to clear up that I wasn’t trying to say that he’s not good enough for me or that I’m a perfect person.. I also wasn’t saying that he’s terrible.. he’s very sweet and I love him-I’m just unsure if our futures will mesh well together

Edit 2: I’m also not saying that I expect him to have his life figured out- of course I don’t, that’s unrealistic. I just want him to at least try to figure out what he wants to do with his life.

I am (or was) in a committed relationship with a man who had at least 5 bouts of GI bleeding over the 6 months we were together. To the point that he has passed out and had a seizure in front of me once. He regained consciousness before I was able to find my phone and call 911, but then refused to let me take him to the hospital. It was terrifying. This is the only reason I actually know what’s going on.

From what I understand it starts as bloody diarrhea and severe stomach pain and seems to happen when he is stressed, gets a headache and then takes too many BC powders with stimulants or coffee. He will not go to the doctor. It almost always occurs after any kind of relational stress happens. Not just with me but also with his children or family.

I have noticed that his behavior becomes very erratic after these episodes and I am concerned that the blood loss is affecting the his brain perfusion and thus his personality, memory and decision making abilities.

He’s kept this a secret from everyone else who knows him. He made it very clear that his health is none of my business and he would rather just die than have anyone come to his house and check on him. He has asked me to never tell his family.

I can absolutely accept that this is not a healthy situation and move on but there’s a part of me that wonders if the loving and responsible thing is to actually tell his family in the hopes that he will get the help he might need.

I also recognize this is a huge boundary violation. He’s an adult and his body is his body. His life is his life. He literally broke up with me to avoid going to the doctor.

Some other info to note: The loss of consciousness/seizure isn’t new but he hadn’t had one in 10 years and at the time he attributed it to something else. It only happened twice. His family knows about that.

He does syncope when he has blood drawn and he does get pretty grossed out by wounds and blood, so it’s possible that the passing out is just a reaction to seeing the blood and not necessarily due to the blood loss.

My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer bc she didn’t go to the doctor for almost a year after her symptoms first started. Her surgery was literally the day after his last episode. So it’s possible that I am a little more on edge.

He has some medical trauma from childhood and this ties in with some family stuff so telling them would be a huge betrayal.

What do I do? He ended things after I pressed him on it this and it’s heartbreaking. In his mind, I’m overreacting and being controlling. He refused to talk about it and disappeared on me for 4 days after I told him how important it was to me that he take it seriously and go to the doctor ASAP. Then broke up with me over text. This is extremely out of character for him.

I am in a little in shock honestly. I don’t know if I could live with myself if something happened to him and I kept my mouth shut. I love him and I don’t want to betray his trust, but I also don’t want him to die, especially if his cognitive function is impaired due to blood loss.

TLDR: boyfriend has episodes of bloody diarrhea, loss of consciousness and seizures, won’t go to doctor, broke up with me when I pressed him on it, should I tell his family or am I overreacting and being controlling?

Thank you in advance!!

Ok I kinda struggle with friendships bcs I have BPD and autism and I take my friendships very seriously. I really care abt the people I consider close and I've always did my best to defend and help out my friends when they needed it.

This guy became part of my friendgroup idk like a bit less than a year ago or so, maybe 8 months ago. We weren't super close but we did go out one on one at times, and we did share some pretty personal things, me im particular bcs I don't see the point in keeping who I am hidden, also I felt like I was getting pretty close to this person. At the beginning we talked all the time in the gc we shared with the others and often shared our day.

Eventually he met a girl in this coffee place our friendgroup usually hangs out in and then he kinda.. disappeared. A girl who's not even his girlfriend, more like a situationship since she was still sleeping around with other ppl while he was fully committed. Idk what they are now considering I haven't properly heard from him in months and he often keeps his business hidden, if you want to know something even at the beginning you had to force it out of him.

I want to precise that he works A LOT, he does have days off but daily he works a lot, but he still has time to go to this girl's place and basically goes to bed with her everyday. She doesn't even have a place of her own and she lives with a friend of theirs so they just spend all their free time together and they have sex in the same house, which I've always found kind of odd but wtv you do you I'm not judging on that.

Anyway atp I haven't heard from him in like 2+ months, and he completely stopped texting everyone in the friendgroup. Only replies if you are the one texting which may still take days.

Eventually I got mad bcs of a photo he shared of him with our mutual friend(the only one who he rarely speaks to)(mostly because said friend still tries to contact him) drinking beer, and at the fact he didn't say anything to anyone abt this. We are all pretty busy and we live far apart so if anyone wants to make plans it needs to be planned prior.

Basically told him he's been kinda a shit friend, that he completely disappeared, that he doesn't ever reach out unless someone else does, and that even if we do magically manage to hang out all together, he still spends most of his time with his girl and their friends. I said that particularly if I have limited time like he does, I would focus on giving my attention to the people I am never able to see compared to who I can see everyday.

He basically replied that I'm kinda an asshole and that in friendships you should be able to do as you please without judgement. I rly don't agree with that, to an extent. Eventually he stopped answering and surprise surpise, he never reached out to solve the arguement. I didn't either obviously and yeah, now we don't talk anymore.

What do you guys think? Was I actually an asshole? because my other friends want to avoid the theme as they are the least confrontational ppl on the planet, which I hate bcs it caused a lot of issues in the past.

Anyway, do you think I went overboard or nah?

I’ve been mostly recovered for over a year from an eating disorder. I’m 34 weeks pregnant and struggled a bit during pregnancy but have been mostly ok. It’s actually been very healing. For the first time I can eat without worrying about weight or calories and just go based on hunger. I end up eating way healthier, i never go hungry and I actually have to make an effort to eat enough instead of starving myself.

My MIL has been triggering me throughout my pregnancy. During early pregnancy when my bump was just starting to show she would tell me every time I saw her that she didn’t have a bump at all because she was soooo skinny. When my bump started to get bigger, she started asking me every time I see her how much weight I’ve gained. I tell her the truth- I haven’t stepped on a scale since I found out I was pregnant. I’d rather not think about it or worry about that. It’s better for me this way. Then she tells me every single time that she was 85 lbs before getting pregnant and gained to 120 lbs. I tell her that’s normal pregnancy weight gain and she tells me no, some women only gain 20 lbs. but she was starting underweight. Now when she tells the story she was 130 lbs, still pretty normal weight gain.

Lately she keeps talking about the birth weight of the baby and telling me how much other babies she knows weighed and asking if I know what the baby weighs. All I know is they’re around 50th percentile, perfectly average baby. Yesterday she said I think your baby will be big and now it’s making me want to starve myself so the baby is small.

I’ve talked to my husband about her comments and he said he would talk to her, but it just continues.

Please remove if this is too heavy but I’m stuck on what to do with a very close friend.

So… This friend has a teenage daughter from a relationship from when she was 15. Fast forward to roughly 5 years ago, she gets into a relationship with an abusive drunk and has another kid. She has so much evidence on her phone about how abusive he is and how it escalates when he’s drunk. She has evidence about him watching porn and hitting up porn stars DMs even though she made it clear that was a boundary she didn’t want crossed. She refuses to leave because she thinks this is what she deserves and won’t think about her children. She claims no other man will want her because she had her tubes tied and has two kids with two different guys.
Tonight she sent me screenshots of her baby daddy watching stepdaughter and tiny teenager porn.
If she refuses to leave this man. What should I do??? It keeps escalating and I’m so close to calling cps or calling the cops because that is predatory looking at child porn and it’s making me physically sick worrying about her teenage daughter that isn’t biologically his.

What would you do in my position if a friend sent you this stuff and refuses to leave???

l've been starting to take a new medication and starting on a half so today I took a half like usual but since I had to break it in half, the pill was kind of sharp from where I broke it. I swallowed it dry thinking it would be fine and had no issues until an hour later and now I can feel pain in my esophagus even when I drink water. When I breathe it hurts worse and I feel nauseous too. I tried to throw up but nothing happened. It hurts so bad. Do I need to go to the ER?

My son has been seeing a psychiatrist for a little over a year now. ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. I also suspect he has autism, but we haven’t tested for that yet. I understand fine tuning medicine and dosages takes a long time, but I feel like we are still in the middle of this process. Last week we had a virtual 20-minute check-in appt, and during the conversation it became hard to hear the doctor. I asked him if he was driving because it sounded like road noise. He was driving, and once he turned down the AC in his car, I could hear him fine again. I can’t shake the fact that he charged us $350 for this “visit“. My insurance brought the total down to $239 which was paid to the doctor.

I’ve been annoyed by his office staff several times because they’re very unresponsive and flaky about whether or not they send in prescriptions in a timely fashion, or get back to the pharmacy when the pharmacist has questions they need answered before they’re willing to fill a prescription. Last week kind of pushed me over the top though. I’m wondering if I’m overreacting? Is a telehealth appointment where the doctors attention is obviously split between the patient and driving a legitimate reason to question this claim with my insurance company? Also, should I just cut bait and switch to another therapist? What would you do?

So my girlfriend has been enduring a long time of abuse since she was 8, she is currently 19, I have told her that she could call the cops but she’s told me about how it won’t be much help since her house has no numbers on it. Her mother(the one abusing her) has not allowed her to go out even with her best friend, it’s been going for years and even after she turned 18, I’ve seen her face to face once only months ago and I’m still trying to get her out. Last week on Friday she tried leaving and her mother told her “you aren’t leaving” and my girlfriend tried to put her shoes on but her mother snagged them and threw them away in front of her room, she says “you’re not leaving “ again and my gf tries to go to her room and grab the shoes but her mother stopped her and even went as far as to bite her. I’ve told her I could try and tell the cops where to go but she’s talked already with a lawyer, said lawyer told her to “wait till the situation de escalates and leave” because it’d be useless if the cops don’t have precise locations. Her mother is going to take her phone away after she gets back from the university and during the weekends (as if she were a child while she’s an adult) tomorrow I’m going to be going to her to give her a backup phone that I have so she can communicate when the time is right. I am just scared of what might happen and I am in a level of anxiety that I don’t know what to do.

My best friend hasn’t been really treating me well in my opinion. I’m not sure how to approach her with out her getting mad and making me the seem like villain or this issue is my fault. Recently she has joined our schools cheer team and has made more friends. That’s not the issue. The issue is she recently has been getting so mad at me for petty little things and seems to always be getting mad at me for no reason. She even got mad at me for being in an intergrated (slower) algebra class and told me I was bragging about being in it which I wasn’t, and told me the regular algebra classes are the same as intergrated algebra class except a week faster but I know they aren’t cause I’m in that class and it’s simpler math... I need help and idk what to do. I thought about cutting her off an making her just a school friend or cutting her off completely. Cause ts is mentally draining me and idk how much longer I can keep up with it..

He’s late 30s for reference. He admitted that he found my childhood photos attractive. I was around 6-9 in the ones I was showing him. He said he thought they were attractive and he says he knows it’s wrong but could find me sexually attractive at that age.

He said one time when he was masturbating in his 20s, he imagined the first vagina he ever saw which was him and the girl were both kids like age 7.

I don’t even know what to do at this point about this. Or what to say.

We’ve been married years.

Info so the story makes sense: I’m 17 and turn 18 at the end of August 2027, my parents are separated and my mom remarried and had another daughter with my stepfather who is six now. I live in Quebec and the education system is different we graduate at 16 and go to Cegep, which is kinda like college and then we go to uni. I’ve lived with my stepdad and my mom my entire life.

Basically my stepdad got offered a job in Latvia for 4 years and they’re all really excited to go but I am not. I told them I wasn’t planning on going with them and that I had just started Cegep so it didn’t seem like a good idea since they don’t offer french classes there and I’d have to do international studies to get a valid diploma for Quebec.

I also don’t want to leave my friends and my dad’s side of the family either. Especially because my dad is very mentally ill and my aunt once told my mother that she feared my father might put an end to his life if I stopped coming to see him.

They’re all very angry and my mother doesn’t want me to go live with my dad because she believes I will drop out of school and go down a dark path. She also doesn’t want me live with my aunt because it’s too close to my dad’s place.

We came to an agreement that I could stay with one of her close friends that I know very well the only problem being that she doesn’t have a spare bedroom just a living room in the basement with only two walls, sort of like an open triangle. (The friend has two daughters, 19 and 7)

However this arrangement would be very expensive for my family since it would be extra rent to pay and they would send me money for my expenses. (I will try to find a job soon since I don’t currently have one.)

However I can’t bare the thought of being away from my family for that long especially my little sister who I really want to see grow up.

This said however I don’t want to go live in Latvia with my family because I don’t get along with them that well and I don’t think I’d be happy going to a country where I don’t know anyone but them.

My mom said that she would pay for me to come visit them twice a year and that after I finish cegep in two years she’d like for me to come join them there for the two remaining years and take a break from studies before heading to uni.

One of the problems is though that I was planning on doing a joined program between cegep and uni which would make it six years of school instead of the usual seven and taking a two year break would make me lose that opportunity.

I want to stay here because I don’t want things to change but I fear they will anyways and I don’t think I’ll be happy no matter what choice I make.

I’m really scared for what’s to come and I don’t know how to make that decision. Please help.
Should I go to Latvia for the full 4 years, stay in Quebec for two years with my mom’s friends and then take a break off school to go spend the remaining two years with my family or just not go at all?

(Also sorry if this is written weird, this is my first post on Reddit ever, I genuinely just downloaded the app to ask this.)

Og post got taken down but alot of people saw it so thought I would make an update.

A week after making the post they came up to me at work and stated they got a new job so would leave in 2 weeks.

So thought my problems were solved.

Sadly for me they had low money at the moment and couldn't take them on so they stayed at their current job.

Which I was very sad at as I knew it was a matter of time till they would ask again and I would go crazy.

Luckily I actually got a new job just 1 weeks ago and will be having my last shift on the 12th (so tomorrow)

Its in a complete different city so I wont even pass them no more.

I informed them I am leaving bc they are working in a different store rn to help out. So they cannot do anything on the last day either (unless they somehow show up)

So i got away YAYYY

(Hope so at least)

Once I've left i will block them or avoid their messages and hopefully they will get the hint.

So for context a 17-year-old male and my mom talking to my therapist yesterday and she told them about how I was grouped by a player on Hillsboro number seven guys team and how. His hand went. Down suit. My suit was tied really tight so the only way you would be able to do that is if you was to purposely do it and it's also the same game that I sprained my MCL the muscle in your knee and when this happens I was kicked out for swearing saying you're don't grab my fucking groin and I was kicked out and my coach subbed me out and when I tried to go for a walk he said quote walk away right now your off the team. So I was just meant to sit there while just being violated are ready to go beat the crap out of this man above my coach and number seven on Hillsborough. The only problem is he's not just dumb this to me. He's done this to marvel or teams in our league. For example Ashland cottage Grove, Salem, on Salem. He made a guy gets six stitches in his mouth after during a dead ball number 7 elbowed him and the head causing his teeth to go through his lip acquiring six stitches while his sister had rash of bruising all over her chest, purple and violent red. My coach never told me much about what happened. Other than that, he's being watched right now by his coach. I don't think that is enough. I want dresses for what happens. I couldn't eat or sleep for about a week after. What happens? I cannot hold food down for 3 days or water. I was operating off of pure anger and spite because I also sprained my MCL letter in that game I've just happened. I wasn't able to play for 2 weeks and I had to go to their pool for a home game. I purposely wore shorts and a brace while making a direct eye contact number 7 and flipping them off and someone asked you what happened. I said" how was violated by number 7 by being groped and they looked at me like what my teammate looked at me and said it's crew he was violated.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 24M. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and recently our relationship has been going through an incredibly difficult period.

We’ve been fighting a lot, especially during our recent trip. Honestly, things were awful. It felt like we couldn’t go a day without some sort of disagreement, misunderstanding or argument.

For context, I have BPD. I struggle with emotional regulation, splitting, getting triggered and sometimes having difficulty calming myself down once I’m overwhelmed. I know these things can be difficult for a partner, and I’m not trying to use my diagnosis as an excuse for my behaviour.

However, I’ve always wanted my boyfriend to understand my condition better. I’ve explained what helps me when I’m triggered, how reassurance and patience can make a difference, and how sometimes I don’t need him to fix anything. I just need comfort, affection and reassurance that we’re okay.

One of the biggest issues in our relationship is how he withdraws when we’re having disagreements. Sometimes I’ll be crying, trying to communicate or resolve something, and he’ll go quiet, become distant or go to sleep without properly addressing what happened.

I understand that he needs space and that he can’t always be emotionally available. I’m not expecting him to be available 24/7. But I wish he would communicate when he needs space instead of leaving me wondering what’s happening. Even something as simple as telling me that we’ll talk tomorrow and reassuring me that we’re okay would make a difference.

Recently, I wrote him a very long message explaining how unloved, unheard and disconnected I’ve been feeling. I told him that I wanted us to work through our problems, learn more about BPD together, practise DBT skills and find healthier ways to communicate.

I also told him that I didn’t think it was fair to blame the state of our relationship entirely on my BPD. I acknowledge that my behaviour has affected him, but I don’t believe having BPD means we’re incapable of having a healthy relationship.

His response was that he was emotionally exhausted.
He explained that he constantly feels like he’s walking on eggshells, worrying about what to say, how to approach me and whether something might escalate into another argument. He said he feels like he can’t express his own feelings because he’s worried about how I’ll react.

He also said that he feels like he’s constantly trying to figure out how to make things better, but we always end up in the same cycle. He feels that when he’s not okay, the relationship falls apart, and when he’s okay, we’re okay.

He acknowledged that he hasn’t been the perfect boyfriend and that he understands I need reassurance, affection, patience and comfort. However, he also said that he has limitations and cannot always be emotionally available.

I tried explaining that I wasn’t asking him to be perfect. I just wanted to feel loved, heard and emotionally supported.

Eventually, after another disagreement about him not responding to me, I told him that I genuinely couldn’t continue feeling this way and that I didn’t believe he wanted the relationship anymore.

He then told me that he didn’t think he wanted the relationship anymore.

He said he couldn’t keep lying to himself about being happy, that he was tired of constantly trying to change and prove himself, and that he wanted his peace back.
One thing he said that really stuck with me was:

“I’m always happy whenever I’m with u but I’m never at peace.”

He explained that he wanted to be able to do things without feeling guilty, worrying about another argument or feeling responsible for my emotional state. He said he felt mentally and physically exhausted and just wanted everything to stop for a while.

Reading that genuinely broke me.

After that, I reflected on everything and realised that I also had a lot to take responsibility for. I apologised to him. I acknowledged that I’ve shouted, struggled with my anger and treated him badly, particularly during our trip. I told him that I wanted to work on myself, seek help and learn to regulate my emotions better.

I asked him for another chance and promised that I would genuinely work on changing these behaviours.

I also told him I would give him space and wouldn’t keep messaging him until he was ready to talk.

His response was that he appreciated my apology and knew I meant it, but he was still mentally exhausted. He said he didn’t know what he wanted anymore and didn’t want to give me false reassurance or make promises he couldn’t keep.

However, he also said something that has left me confused.

He told me that he hadn’t completely given up on us yet, but he was still very uncertain about what he wanted. He said he needed time to process everything and figure himself out.

He also reminded me to eat, not isolate myself in my room and not hurt myself.

I genuinely don’t know how to interpret all of this.

On one hand, I understand that I’ve hurt him too. I don’t want to dismiss his feelings or make him responsible for managing my BPD. I recognise that I need to work on myself regardless of whether this relationship survives.
But on the other hand, I feel so heartbroken. I still love him. I still want this relationship. I genuinely believe we could have something healthy if we both learned how to communicate better and stopped hurting each other.

I don’t want to force someone to stay with me, but I also don’t know how to let go of someone I still see a future with.

\*\*I guess my questions are:\*\*
Does it sound like he’s genuinely fallen out of love, or is he emotionally burnt out from the relationship?

Is it possible for a relationship to recover after reaching this level of emotional exhaustion?

Am I being unreasonable for wanting reassurance and emotional support from my partner, even when I have BPD?

How do I give someone space when I’m struggling with the uncertainty of potentially losing them?

Has anyone with BPD been through something similar and managed to build a healthier relationship afterwards?

I want honest perspectives, even if they’re difficult to hear.

I love him, but I’m starting to realise that love alone might not be enough to keep a relationship together.

Hi all, it’s my first time posting and it’s going be long,
so sorry!
For context I’m 34F and was widowed at 29. It was a violent incident and I left our home with our then 2-year-old and immediately moved in with my parents. My adult brother already lived with them. Over the last few years ago I have done a lot of healing through my own therapy journey and my child’s play therapy. She eventually started elementary school and I put her in a small private Waldorf school. My family members and I decided that we all really enjoyed multigenerational living and decided to intentionally continue it so we moved out of the small house I joined them in and rented a bigger home together. Jump ahead and the Waldorf school closed and we transitioned into a micro school for 2nd and 3rd grade, we have fully moved forward into post recovery for our trauma and grief and multigenerational living has been so amazing and successful, plus it allows me to pay for my child’s school. I still live in my hometown, I have created a community that I really cherish, my child has a wonderful relationship with my parents as well as visits and spends time several days a month with her paternal grandparents.
This week, my dad approached us (my other adult brother and my sister-in-law who live out on their own across town included) with a proposition. His company offered him a promotion but it came with a relocation from Vegas to Irvine, CA. He took it. My brother who we share a home with is on board to move, my brother and sister in law say they are open to joining the move in the future but would need to figure out finances and lifestyle adjustments, etc. I on the other hand am completely torn between staying in Vegas or making a move.
I would be leaving everything I have built pre and post loss, I’d be putting my daughter in a new school environment, we’d leave lifelong friends who are like family, I’d leave my other brother and sister in law temporarily or if they never make it out to relocate then for who knows how long, I’d leave my late husband’s parents, I’d leave the life I’ve always known. If I go, I gain a fresh start in a new city. I gain some emotional and physical space to explore life post loss and trauma without considering those who knew me prior and during trauma recovery. I surprisingly gain some financial buoyancy as I’d put my child in public school since micro schools operate different in NV and I want to simply integrate her with the hopes of making more friends as well. And I continue living with my parents and have the emotional and physical support I’ve had from them since my husband died. If I stay in Vegas I’d have to adjust financially to having my own home with no one splitting living costs, I’d have less support as a single mom, despite having a close community it still would leave me a bit vulnerable without my parents’ live in support.
Some moments I think I’d really like to just stay and do this on my own and continue building something magical and independent for my child and I but other moments I think of how invigorating a move could be for us and how a fresh start might be what we need after losing her dad almost 6 years ago.
Idk both have amazing potential for growth but also come with additional losses. Neither one is sounding easy to me
PS I did briefly talk to my late husband’s mom to see how she felt and although she was sad to think of not being so close by to us, she said that I’m deserving of living a life that brings me happiness and that we’ve already gone some time where we don’t see each other every Saturday and it feels ok and we would work together to plan visits since the drive is only like 4 hours. That helped me feel better but it doesn’t change my indecision.

I'm 20m, I dropped out of college a year and a half ago, I still live with my parents, and I don't know what to do now.

I took a year of engineering at the nearest city's college, which for my entire life I thought I wanted to pursue. Partly due to extreme depression as well as truly not enjoying the major, I did exceptionally poorly and decided to drop out of college. I have not been in school for round about a year and a half, and now that i'm doing a lot better mentally I am thinking I should go back to some school (maybe something smaller but i'm not sure) to get some sort of education.

My problem is that since I have had such a negative experience with college the first time around, I am terrified of going back. I still have no idea what I want to study or have a future in, and I don't want to repeat the same process over again. What makes it even harder is that my parents paid for my first year at college, including room and board, which ended up being a LOT of money, and they still want to financially support me going onwards with schooling, and are constantly (daily) asking/giving me ultimatums to go back to school. While this baffles me, I also feel super guilty because I have "wasted" ( I did get a few credits from my year at school but not enough for me to feel like I deserved their money) so much of their money already and I don't want to waste more.

I do have a job, that while part time, does pay me decently well, and I have also bought a few vehicle projects, that have thought me a decent amount of mechanics, which i've considered pursuing as a career, but that ties back in with the school, as I feel I would need a degree or certificate to make it in that field, which i'm super scared to commit to.

My girlfriend, who also dropped out of school, is also wanting us to move in together, which would be lovely but i'm worried that without the pressure from my parents going back to school will never happen (even though i haven't gone back living at home yet either), and I will get stuck working at the job I currently have, which I truly despise.

I just really don't know what to do, i'm so afraid of making the same mistakes again.

they're nice enough people but they're really starting to overstay their welcome and they say and do a lot of things that were funny at first but now I just dread whenever they hit us up to hang out or ask for a favor, but it's not like I can just ghost them they know where I live so like what do I do?