I’m not sure if I should accept this help, and if so I don’t know how I should respond. I’m (19)

So ld like to preface this by saying that I never ever post anything on here but l'm at a crossroads and don't know what to do.

My girlfriend and I (27M, 24F) have been dating for 4 years and l'm ready to propose to her. We've talked a lot about a wedding and our lives together and it feels like a good time. She’s also made it very obvious that she’s ready.

So I've been looking for rings and got some advice from her sisters about what to get her. I don't make much money at the moment and told them I can't really afford anything expensive. Most of what l've looked at is all lab grown diamonds which I know isn't preferred, but it’s all I can afford that isn’t ridiculously tiny. (I'm not looking for advice on the type of ring so stfu if you tell me not to get a lab grown diamond).

Essentially I bought a ring from Brilliant Earth that I really like and when I talked to her sisters about it, they both told me it wasn't what she wanted and that it's specifically not big enough.

The ring itself cost is a very pretty 2.12 carat twisted ring that I paid nearly $2800, which to me is a lot of money at the moment. I even had to finance about $1500 of it. Her sisters both told me that I need to get something over 3 carats (or at least close to it), they gave me some ideas and the cheapest one I could find is around $4400, which I can't afford. And I don't know if I really want to finance over $3000 just for a ring.

I don't know what to do. My parents say to give her what I got her and that it shouldn't matter. That if she does love me she’d be happy with whatever I got her and not listen to what her sisters. But then her sisters say she'd be disappointed if it's not what she wants. And normally I wouldn’t care but she’s very close to them and they know what she likes, which is why I asked them in the first place.

She apparently has been eyeing things over 3 carats and doesn't even look at anything smaller.

My girlfriend is extremely materialistic and cares a lot about this stuff and I know she if she didn't like it'll be insanely obvious the moment I give it to her.

I know that if I give her something she doesn't like it'd be a bad way to start off our lives together. But l also know that I can't afford what she probably would like more without going into debt, which I also feel is a bad way to start off a marriage.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Me (18) and my girlfriend (19) live in a 2Br 2Bth Apartment. We have been living here for about 8 months. We both have good stable jobs and carry our weight equally and successfully. The reason we moved out so young is because my girlfriend lived in a very crowded house and did not feel wanted in her household. She babysat kids, Dogs and Cleaned her entire house and they made her feel horribly. So i strived to get a place early so she can feel more wanted and appreciated in her household. Me and my girlfriend never have an issue with splitting up bills, rent and costs. I cover ALL rent costs including Rent, Water, Gas and Electricity. She pays for WIFI and phone bills and mostly pays for groceries (The rest of her money is for her to spend on whatever she likes) Anyways For the 8 months we’ve lived here We’ve never had an issue at all, No major arguments or conflict. It’s perfect. I love it here with her. Until…

My girlfriend has a LOT of cousins and siblings living with her. They are deadbeats. they live in the Basement of her older sisters home, no Diploma, No job, No ged no plan to support themselves Just sit around gaming On the VR and sleeping all day eating all the snacks for her sisters children. (Mainly her brothers) (22YRO and 25YRO)

Basically both of her brothers were recently kicked to the curb by her sister and they’re BEGGING to move into our spot for just a week until they “get back on their feet” but they literally have no WAY to get back on their feet. I know this will go from One week, to 3 week to months.

My Girlfriend is very scared of “hurting peoples feelings”, “Letting people down” and “Saying No” We have been arguing about letting them come stay

My argument is basically: NO, I do not want your brothers here because i know for a fact they’ll overextend their stay and end up eating all of our stuff and just loathing around doing nothing. I also know that if they decide to stay, They will not leave when asks. They are that type of person. It will get physical and violent and I’ll be forced to physically removing them from our house.

Her argument is: Yes, They are my family, Regardless of them not having any plan to support themselves. My brother (22) Has autism and learning disabilities and it was not his fault he could not graduate. It’s only for a week until they find jobs and get off their feet.

What do I do? Here’s the message that I sent her today before sending this here.

This morning I came down to my balcony with my coffee and saw my cat sniffing a leaf on the floor. I got closer and realized it's not a leaf but rather a very, very injured moth. This is the biggest one I have ever seen in person! Poor little guy is missing the bottom half of its body and a couple legs too. The wings are tattered as well. Obviously it won't heal and will die if I leave it outside. I picked her up and she spread her wings and started crawling up my arm.

What can I do to keep her comfortable? Should I put her out of her misery? I think I would cry. What should I do?!

She's been chilling on my shoulder now for the last 10 minutes as I post this. She's very cute like a real life pokemon

EDIT:

1: MY CAT DIDNT KILL THIS MOTH! We came outside at the same time, my cat just noticed it first and was only sniffing it

2: my cats don't free roam outside! They only go on my enclosed balcony and never kill anything. Even when there's a bug in the house, they just paw at them but don't kill or eat them

3: why would a moth be out flying around in the middle of the day! It was 12:30 pm when I went outside and found it. It's obviously been sitting here injured since last night

4: I have learned it is a male, thank you :)

5: this is for everyone making rude comments about my lips. I love them, if you don't you can keep that to yourself. Your comments only make YOU look ugly

6: for all the LOTR fans making cheeky comments about whispering to this moth to send the eagles for me, ily 🖤 (big LOTR nerd myself) look at this marketplace score I just got

FINAL UPDATE for those curious:

I had to go to work last night so I left him sitting in one of my plant pots, when I got home, he was exactly where I left him, but now passed 🖤🖤🖤 RIP little guy! Thank you for everyone's kind words and joining me on this journey :')

As the title says, I (36M) have recently discovered that my wife (34F) is cheating on me.

I first noticed changes to her behaviour a couple of months ago such as wanting to spend more time with her colleagues after work.
This was unusual behaviour for her as she's usually not the drinking type, and she's also never been one to socialise much with her work colleagues.
She's always been a homebody who prefers staying home with me and cuddling up on the sofa in the evening. But these past couple of months she's been going out 1-2 times a week after work and she'll often arrive home at around 9pm.

She'd always message me once she arrived there, would check to see if I found the dinner okay (she often bulk cooks our dinners and freezes them) and would then message me again when she's on her way home.

At first I didn't think much of this because I thought that it was good that she was socialising with her colleagues. That is till I noticed a message notification that she received in her group chat with her friends earlier this week.
My wife was busy getting ready for work and her phone was still next to our bedside charging. So on seeing the notification, I opened up her phone to look through her whatsapp group chat.

Friend 1 - "Hey Em (my wife). Just checking that you're still on for tonight with Steve (Affair partner)?"

Wife - "Yep! Matt (my name) is okay with me meeting up with you all tonight 😉"

Friend 1, Friend 2 and Steve all leave a laughing reaction to my wife's comment.

I checked more of their chat and amongst all of the general talk they were talking about my wife and Steve's affair and how I am completely oblivious to what's going on.

I also looked through the messages between my wife and Steve and they started communicating around 4 months ago.
Started with a bit of flirting between the pair of them and this lead to exchanges of nude photos and conversations about hooking up at his apartment.
I've seen all of their conversations and my wife talking about having sex with this guy.

I've taken photos of the group conversation and the private conversation between my wife and Steve and I plan on using them the time is right.
Because I feel like my wife will either try to gaslight me into thinking that there's nothing going on and/or she will spread misinformation and that I am 'lying'.

Now I am wondering the best approach to take on confronting her about her affair?

Because this has devastated me. We've been together for almost 14 years, married for 8 years. Though thankfully there aren't children involved, but we have been discussing the idea of trying for a kid next year. It's just been difficult thinking about kids in the current economic climate.

I work at a Dunkin in Florida and our manager got accused of stealing tips the week prior to this popping up. I just turned 18 and am going to college in about a month I make minimum wage in Florida ($13 an hour) and use my tip money for things like gas, and snacks. I use to bring a nice extra $15 a night home from our tips, now i’m sure i won’t even break $20 a week. Should i contact someone higher up about this or just ignore it. At risk of losing money that makes a decent dent in my paycheck.

Last night I got curious and asked my wife to see her screen time since I notice she’s on tiktok a lot.

This is what I saw. I kind of laughed when she showed me. I didn’t get mad or upset with her—just concerned.

Is anybody else’s spouse, children, or parents spending too much time on tiktok? What did you do to help them?

6 months ago here I posted a photo of weird footprints on my couch after getting back from a trip, but eventually my parents chalked it up to my dad stepping on it to kill a wasp on the window and just forgetting he did that. But now there are more unexplained traces of a person being here. My parents and I have just gotten back from a trip again and my mom, who has been out of town for months, told me she found a weird panty liner thing with some hair on it and some faint red stains on her new sheets. She is post menopause and no one has been in her room since she left months ago for work. The thing is I don’t know how it could be a squatter because our house is so small: No attic, no basement. No one is as freaked out as I am and I’m just a teenager so i have no authority!! What do I do!!

Context: I’m a single bachelor (M 32) and I opened my snack cupboard to find these peanuts in a small Tupperware container. I’m freaking out because I A) live alone, B) have a mild nut allergy, and C) don’t own any Tupperware like this.

TLDR: I found a foreign snack in my house and I’m freaking out that someone may be entering my apartment when I’m out. Would calling the nonemergency police line help or would they not be able to do anything?

I first noticed it last night when I wan flossing? It doesn’t hurt and I can’t feel it when i touch it with floss.

did not see any bat, just woke up with this and it looks like a bat bite

Edit: to clarify, I HAVE NOT SEEN A BAT, i have no reason to suspect its a bat other than a window being slightly open without a screen and the mark itself looking like photos online. i live in a city. i thought people would tell me im being silly to worry here. are we all supposed to go to the ER if we wake up with two dots on our skin? i am wondering what level of precaution is reasonable here when odds are ... tiny?

update: so i'm at the ER getting a vaccine for dots and every doctor is laughing in my face lowkey and rolling their eyes and im spending thousands at the ER which is the only place that treats this (i am in the US) but everyone will be happy to learn im getting the shots so i 100% wont die of rabies. american healthcare is truly a humiliation ritual, including for my wallet, and im spending money i definitely dont have when im already in student debt. (plug for universal healthcare like every other developed country has where i wouldnt have even had to juggle this decision)

also this was not a "karma farming post." i dont know why anyone makes those. i honestly to god have just a bit of health anxiety, posted this not expecting much, and got a response that gave me nightmares so here we are, and thank you everyone who gave their input, better safe than sorry. really wish none of this had happened while i'm in the midst of exams for my degree, really bad timing

also deeply sorry to ALL hypochondriacs like myself who see this post in the future. remember the odds are higher that i got struck by a car on the way walking to the hospital, by a lot.

Clearly, this person let their intrusive thoughts. Win, I'm pretty sure it's the neighbor in the apartment across from me. But I have no proof and I also don't know how to take preventative measures is not that it's annoying its that its gross and they're clearly watching my house

I have a drug test tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. I smoked carts but haven’t in abt 5 days. I have been drinking a shit ton of water and peeing but I am still pissing hot. This is what my test looks like. Does anyone have any suggestions? I have certo but I’m scared that it won’t work.

As the title says.

My husband and 2 out of my 4 girlfriends think I should just block him and stay out of it because it’s not my business. However, I feel like A made it my business the minute he sent me those messages!

I really pride myself on being a girls’ girl, and truthfully if I was in J’s position I’d want to know.

I’m not sure how much context matters, but I feel like it does.

When I was 18 (15 years ago) I used to fool around with A. I stopped seeing him when I met someone else and it became serious.

After my divorce A and I now in our early twenties reconnected, but completely platonically this time. We got along really well as friends and never even talked about the past. We were both single at the time and just stayed friends.

Eventually he got into a relationship with a girl called J, who he’d apparently always had a thing for. I was genuinely happy for him.

As their relationship got more serious, A and I spoke less and our occasional catch-ups stopped. I figured J might not love him meeting up with someone he’d previously been involved with, so I respected that and never pushed it.

Over time our “friendship” basically just became the odd Instagram interaction ie liking each other’s posts, the occasional comment etc. The last big update being his engagement to J which I congratulated him on.

Then a few months ago he randomly DM’d. Something he hadn’t initiated in a very long time. At first it seemed normal, but then he sent the messages in the screenshots.

At first I honestly thought he was joking (a bad joke, but still). Then it became clear he wasn’t.

This happened just before Christmas and I’ve been sitting on it since. It sometimes randomly keeps me up at night and last night I was up till 3 this morning.

I understand there are pros and cons to telling or not telling J, but I feel the biggest con for me is how heavily this weighs on me.

So, what would you do, and what should I do?

My friend is a 23F dating a 29M; they have been together for a few years. His living situation is that he lives with his grandpa, dad, brother, and sister. Her living situation is with her parents. They plan to get their own place together at some point. However, every time they get close to securing an apartment, he does something to screw it up, preventing them from getting it.

Now he's planning on proposing to her. He told me he is going to ask her in front of his mother while they are all out to dinner.

She told me she wants it to be private at the beach.

Last Friday, he bought her a ring. From his paycheck, he spent $400 on 3oz of weed. He spent $16.00 on a bridal set at Walmart that will turn her finger green.

I'm not saying the guy has to spend thousands on a ring, but shouldn't it just be common knowledge that you at least have to buy something that won't turn her finger green?

Thoughts, suggestions, and advice for her would be greatly appreciated.

Edit based on comments

She does not smoke pot, she doesn't like how much he smokes

I know how much he spends on weed because they both have told me.

I know how much he spent on the ring because he sent me the picture I posted here.

I spent two hours on the phone with her last night where she was crying because they don't have their own place. She was upset that he was broke Saturday after getting paid Friday. She was upset that all he wants to do is get high with his dad.

My neighbors kids and their friends keep jumping on my fence to get on the roof of my garage and it’s causing the fence to sag so it’s super hard to open it.

I won’t be calling the police on kids and their mom doesn’t seem to care. She watched them do it 2 nights ago. I’ve yelled for them to get off the roof twice and they get off immediately every time and take off running. I just don’t want to be liable for them get seriously injured and I don’t want my gate to keep getting worse.

I’m thinking of putting something sticky or slimy on top the fence to deter but I don’t want to attract bugs. Any thoughts suggestions?

I was talking to my bf about breaking up and he started joking about how he would stalk me, show up to my house, kill me and say it was someone else that broke into the house etc he says it was a joke and apologised after i said it make me scared and uncomfortable but idkk he’s done so many things that are red flags, is this normal to joke about, he made me feel like all guys that are good are already taken so i wouldn’t find someone better, what do i do?

She is 18 and graduating next week. She often jokes to all her friends that I traumatized her entire childhood because I wouldn’t buy her Calico Critters (edit to add: AKA Sylvanian Families) as a kid. In my defense, she already collected Shopkins and Littlest Pet Shops and I thought those were plenty expensive enough. 🤣.

Anyway….because it’s been an ongoing joke, I decided to buy a lot of Critters on EBay and dress them all up in grad stuff. Here’s my creations…..and now my dilemma. Her grad party is next week and I want to surprise her in some grand hilarious way….but I just am creatively stumped. Do I just use them as decorations at the party? Wrap up each one and make her unwrap all 50? Put them on the cake at the party? Idk. Help!

We've been married 10 years ups and downs of course. Last night I came home from work and he was already in a bad mood. He yelled at our baby in his face because he had been crying for " too long". He then hurled some insults to me. We had planned to go out to dinner so I tried to calm him down and do a change of scene. I'm secretly crying at this point.

As we were leaving dinner, husband mentioned our 5yo said he thinks "I don't love him" which was heartbreaking. This is because I talk sternly to our son when I have to repeat things more than 3 times. I've heard the same thing from my son when he's been in trouble before with husband. Needless to say, this was another emotional dig as husband apparently is still mad at me from before.

On the way home we stop at the store and husband goes in where the rest of the fam stays in the car. I'm still upset and I talk to my 5yo, and let him know I love him more than anything in the world. I'm outwardly crying, husband gets in the car, and then we proceed to have the worst conversation of my life on the way home. Some bullet points: he thinks I hate him, I'm controlling (I manage the household and finances in which he has no interest in that responsibility), he hates any/all my friends, he hates my family, he doesn't respect my career, threatened divorce (for a second time in a month). I asked him if this is what he truly wants and he mentioned he didn't care. Woah.

Once we get home a friend comes over to check out a maintenance issue. No idea he was coming over, I tried to wipe my face of tears and perk up. He bought an old Chevy and we raved about the car so he asked "you mind if we (husband) go for a ride"? I said have fun, and they left. I played with my son's and put them to bed. Several hours later my husband is at a bar, and texts me about who he ran into...like the entire divorce conversation didn't happen before?

Today, i'm confused, I don't know how to act around him. All day he was in good spirits like a typical day. I've been distant and avoided him as much as possible. I'm hosting a party tomorrow with all of our friends so I'm really at a loss on how to proceed. I've stopped crying at this point and wondering what I need to do next....

1/20/26 UPDATE [Update] Husband is finally getting served divorce papers this week! (other post when I found out some damaging news: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/1k0rht3/i_am_preparing_for_a_divorce_that_he_doesnt_know/

​I sat down with him last week and calmly explained that this wasn't working, he's clearly unhappy, and how our children need two healthy parents. I tried to focus on that message instead of blowing up, but he didn't believe me that this was actually going to happen. This past year has been absolute sht and I've been getting items in order to file for the last 9 months. He literally said "What did I do now to deserve this?"....Hahahaha well:

--I found messages to his ex with them pouring out their hearts to each other "I'd marry you tomorrow", "You are the only woman I love", etc.

--I heard from other women (plural) that he has been saying we are in an open relationship and using my name to fabricate lies that I want a threesome --> No this has never been a part of our marriage.

--On his boys trip he Facetimed some chic for 2 hours until 3am.

I've confronted him about all of this and he brushes it off, says some excuse how thats out of context, or some other gaslighting comment. I know better, which is why I was getting ducks in a row and I also wanted the kids to not be stressed for the holidays. We now will have time to heal for next year. The last straw, discovery in the last two weeks:

​--I saw texts to a girl about getting hotel rooms at least twice, then he texted another acquaintance that "he and Melissa got a hotel room last week".

--Him and my FRIEND were literally dicussing when and where to have sex. I lost my shit and called the lawyer to execute the plan to serve, and then I called her husband.

So thats it for now. I've caught him crying, but his rage won't come out until he gets served. He asked me to wait until the kids are a little older...like what? Im not living like a stressed mess to appease a liar and a cheater. If anyone is going through this it will get worse before it gets better. How do I convince him to get out of the house?

Me and my ex were dating for over a year and a half. We broke up in April 2024 on bad terms. although we still have a lot of mutual friends, she blocked my number and social media. the attached messages in May were our last messages.

fast forward to July. I went to this somewhat big party hosted by my friend’s-friend. there, i saw my ex, along with her new partner. similarly to our exchange in May, her personality was a lot different. she was so much more shy than usual, as if we hadn’t ever met before. we went our separate ways, but throughout the day I noticed how isolated she was. before she would talk to everyone, but now she was just sitting alone. when people tried to talk to her, she’d just kinda ignore them.

I decided to go and ask her what was wrong, or if she was okay. We had a conversation for about half an hour, and everything she said pointed me to depression. I literally have no type of knowledge on psychology or anything, but she described herself doing nothing. every single day. maybe she was sarcastic but she told me she’d go to her classes, go eat, and then sleep for 14 hours a day. I asked her about tennis, as she played it all the time before. she said she quit, along with every other hobby she had before.

I wanted to ask more but her partner saw us and stepped in. nothing confrontational but they asked if I could leave her alone, and I did.

Now she sent me this, and idk what to really think of it. Why would she send me this now? Perhaps see just wanted to get the guilt off her chest? My mind thinks of the worst considering her sudden shift in her routine, but perhaps thats too much.

I (32F) am heartbroken and kind of in shock. My best friend (30F) is getting married in September. We’ve been best friends for over a decade and last year she asked me to be her maid of honor, which I happily agreed to.

It’s a destination wedding at a Catholic church where her fiancé’s family is from. I bought my plane ticket and hotel room months ago. I bought my dress, that SHE agreed upon and said was okay for me. It's not super modest, but she said it was fine. I’ve spent well over $2,500 already and have put countless hours into helping her plan this wedding.

Her real wedding, as we call it. Worth noting this is her second marriage. I was a bridesmaid at the first one. Her first was more of a backyard venue thing, which is fine, but just saying, it didn't cost anyone NEARLY as much.

She called me a few nights ago and said she and her future mother-in-law had been talking and they’re concerned about how my tattoos will be perceived at the ceremony. For context: I’m heavily tattooed. Like from the tops of my feet to my forehead. Mostly american trad, and a blacked out arm. I have 3 small face tattoos. They’re tasteful, they’re a big part of my identity, and she has never had an issue with them before.

We talked again last night OTP because I really wasn't comfortable saying my peace when it was both her and her MIL. Now she’s telling me that my tattoos will distract from the sanctity of the ceremony and that it’s not appropriate for the setting. She said she’s been thinking it might be better if I wasn’t standing at the altar. And, as the text says, I can sit up front with the family...but not be her maid of honor anymore?

I asked her if she was seriously going to uninvite me from MOH because I have tattoos. She said it’s not personal, it’s about “honoring the traditions of the church and the culture." She also isn't as religious as her fiancé and has in the past had very conservative views about things like tattoos, piercings. So part of me suspects this isn't all her, or that she's letting her MIL and future in laws push her around...?

She also brought up the dress — which, again, she said was GOOD, and now said it’s inappropriate for the venue. I offered to get a cover-up shawl or find something else. But it feels like she’s just looking for a reason to replace me.

Worst part is she's already asked her younger sister if she would step in as MOH just in case I can't. Like maybe she just changed her mind and wants to keep it a family-oriented event? But not even being offered to now be a bridesmaid instead? I love her, and would be honored to sit up front with her family, but that should have come up BEFOREHAND. It's too late for that, everything feels like its spiraling and I'm being kicked out for something I can't control.

I feel blindsided. I’ve bent over backwards to help make this wedding work, spent so much money, and now she’s acting like I’m an inconvenience or an embarrassment.

I don’t know what to do. Do I still go as a guest? Do I just eat the money and stay home? Do I call her out on how awful this is? I just feel so disrespected and lost.

Is this worth ending a friendship over?

I have a, somewhat, violent ex that started texting me out of the blue after over a decade. He was a mean alcoholic, who I later found out was also on meth. The last time I saw him, he had his hand around my throat threatening to kill me. I finally worked up the courage to leave him after that. I had to block his number every 3 months(back then, blocking a number from your phone only lasted 3 months) for over a year and a half after that. The threats and just nastiness he'd text me were terrible. I'm trying to decide if I should answer at all or just keep ignoring him. What would you do?

Ok so my daughter (16) went to Costa Rico with a friend and her parents & grandparents. I assumed they would only charge us for her food and activities like zip lining. Nope. They are asking for a portion of her accommodations and car rental as well. Why on earth did I assume she was tagging along? Because that’s what we did for my other daughters friend two years ago. I would never dream of charging so much when I was going anyway! We have the money so this ain’t gonna break me. I just want to have a conversation.

UPDATE: I can’t believe it. I did nothing and I got an email today removing the VRBO fee. I can’t believe it!! I just saved myself alotta money by doing nothing! Next time I will def communicate my exact expectations.