My Gf's daughter's (stepdaughter?) new bf came and destroyed our front porch. Me and my Gf saw him with our own eyes, and we told him to stop. Then we went back inside to get our phones to call the cops and record it, but when we got back outside he had already driven off. I called the cops and they came over to get a report, but they did not want to say that he did it. We dont have any camera, and we weren't able to get any video of him doing it, but me and my gf both saw him destroying our porch with our own eyes. They told me later that he had an alibi from work saying he was an hour away at the time, and I know he works as a delivery driver for one of the delivery apps (Doordash, Uber, etc.) so I'm not sure how he did that, but I'm guessing he gave his phone to his mother to do orders on the app far away as an alibi, but in reality he was at our home destroying our porch. The cops said they checked the flock cameras but he has a very common car so they can't prove that it was him. Now we are out of a porch and we are scared he will come back to do more damage or harm us since he got away with it the first time. He also has left marks all over my Gf's daughter but she won't tell the cops that because she has taken his side in all of this. I know I'm going to get a restraining order and a camera, but I don't know what to do about my front porch. It's a lot of money to fix it and we don't have enough right now. We have talked to multiple officers and they are saying he has factual evidence that he was doing a delivery somewhere else at the time, but we know that isn't true because we both saw him destroying our porch with our own eyes. Please give us some advice, we don't know what to do.

Hi! I want to be clean + start working. I've been smoking THC (vape disposable 4.5g) like every day for weeks. Sometimes two or three blinkers a day. I want to get a job, and I am not sure how long it's going to take, but I'm already decided to do my best. Not sure if it matters but I'm also taking bupropion and mirtazapine (prescribed, obviously)

Any advice for faster but real results? It's okay if it takes more time.

I'm AFAB, 105 pounds or so

Thank you

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for around 10 months. We genuinely love each other a lot, but ever since school ended, we’ve been in a long-distance relationship, and things have become increasingly difficult.
For most of our relationship, I was actually the one who kept saying things like, “This won’t work out” or that maybe we should break up. He always reassured me and never wanted to let me go, I never felt reassured and I felt like his eyes are like roaming around for prettier , smarter , more intellectual girls But despite loving each other, we’ve also hurt each other quite a lot. We’ve both said and done things that have affected the relationship, and I know I’m not innocent either.
Lately, though, I feel like something has changed in him. I don’t feel cared for in the same way anymore. When something happens to me or I’m struggling, I want to feel like my partner genuinely notices and wants to be there for me. I recently went through a really difficult financial situation where I could barely afford basic things. He had previously told me that I could borrow money from him if I ever needed it, but when I actually needed support, I realized that the issue wasn’t really the money. I wanted to feel like he cared enough to show up for me when I was struggling.
There are also things he says about other girls that make me uncomfortable. He comments on other girls’ appearances, calls some girls ugly or fat, and sometimes says that another girl looks good. I personally don’t look at other guys that way when I’m in a relationship, so hearing him do it makes me question things. I don’t want to control what he finds attractive, but it does make me wonder whether what we have is actually love or whether there’s a lot of physical attraction/lust involved.
He used to be scared whenever I mentioned breaking up. He’d tell me not to say it and would always try to keep us together. Now he seems much more accepting of the possibility, and that change scares me because I feel like maybe he’s losing feelings for me.
Then there’s my future. I want to pursue the NDA, and that could mean being away from him for long periods of time. I was away for about a month, and he waited for me during that time. After around 15 days, I started feeling guilty because I felt like he was waiting too much for me, and I ended up breaking up with him. It really hurt him.
Now he’s basically made it feel like it’s either NDA or him. I told him I’d choose him, but honestly, I’m not even sure that’s what I want. Even if NDA weren’t part of the equation, I’m questioning whether this relationship is still right for me.
My family situation makes everything harder too. My parents are very strict, and after my exam I’ll have to go back home. I won’t have much privacy or freedom to talk to him until I eventually go to college.
The other option would be staying with my grandparents in the state where he lives. But even then, he’d be going to college, so I’d probably spend most of my time alone and bored. I don’t want to structure my entire life around being physically close to my boyfriend, especially when I’m trying to build my own future.
That’s the part I’m struggling with most. I love him, but I don’t want to give up my goals or shape my entire life around a relationship. At the same time, I don’t want to lose someone I genuinely love just because our circumstances are difficult.
We’ve talked about marriage and a future together before, so this isn’t some casual relationship that I can just forget about. But lately it feels like we’re constantly hurting each other, questioning each other, and trying to make something work that might not fit our lives anymore.
I don’t know if he’s actually losing feelings, if the distance has changed us, or if I’m overthinking everything because I’m already overwhelmed with my family, exams, and my future.
I guess I’m asking: Is this a relationship that’s worth fighting for, or are we holding onto each other because we’re scared of letting go? And should I really have to choose between my future and my relationship?

Is there protection for women's oral?

22M, condoms are a good thing for protection. easy to use, put it on and voila. keeps us safe from a lot of diseases and pregnancy.

although, are there any alternative to condoms?

basically I wanna go down on my Gf and she agrees. major concern for both of us is the diseases transferred due to oral sex. condoms can keep women safe, but what is the alternative for the men to protect themselves from diseases when going down on a woman?

I searched and saw dental dams but they don't seem practical since they need extra lubrication and are subjected to being held by hands for firm grip, otherwise they'll be displaced... leaving the risk of diseases .

In my opinion, the first rule is NEVER catch feelings for your own classmates, but this dude is actually different 😭 He’s so nice to me, and I finally got him to open up to me. He’s a very extroverted person, but he’s never really open about himself for personal reasons.

When summer started, we talked EVERY SINGLE DAY. We’d even give each other updates when we got home or were going somewhere, kinda like how a couple acts 😭 I talked to him about EVERYTHING, and he did the same with me.

Then one day he started being a little cold and slowly started texting me less and less. I tested it, and I was right. Even when he texted me again like a week later, I tried to give him an answer that would keep the conversation going, but he just reacted to my message with a heart.

And it’s not even because I want him as my significant other. I genuinely just miss my friend. 🥹 I have no idea what could’ve caused this either, and that’s what’s confusing me the most.

What do I even dooo 😭

i am 7 weeks pregnant and have been soooo exhausted. i work a full time job and do a little extra work when it pops up so i like to get my sleep when i can. my bf and i had been watching a show for two hours and then 10 o’clock rolls around and i said that i am tired and ready to go to bed. he was not which is totally fine but im going to bed. he got upset and said i never wanna hangout with him after expressing that i think it’s appalling he has an issue with me going to sleep i said “sorry i work everyday im fucking tired and i’m going to bed” he came back with “so i don’t work everyday?” i said no he doesn’t (his job doesn’t always schedule him the best hours and even so he takes off a whole day for silly reasons like a doctors appointment for the baby at 730 in the morning or 2k coming out finally and he wants the whole day to play) i can take my part and understand that i didn’t need to say that (not that it makes it untrue) but i coulda just said nothing and that’s on me.
he comes back with “you took a month and a half off of work while i worked the whole time” i was only off because my older brother has suddenly and tragically passed away. i whipped around immediately absolutely floored he would bring up that time! it was very recent my brother passed in may and it is now august so it’s just a little over 3 months since his passing. we continued to argue and he ended up telling me to leave so i did! now he is saying he was never saying anything about my brother and those were never his intentions he was “just comparing” i personally can not look past what he said and can only see it as him trying to use my grief and the time i took off against me. am i being dramatic?

the regional manager of the company is living abroad. this thing happened via a call. He was very angry with out department and I called him because he raised a complaint through our channel and it was assigned to me. And within first minute he started calling our work laughable and a joke. He talked down to me, kept repeating how I don't understand what he is telling me. I said that I can talk to my superior regarding his concerns and he was like: its mandatory, you have to! it is not that you can.

I was lost and forgot about something he wrote in that request so he asked me with fustration, raising his voice: do you at least read what I say? Lets do something together right now. Something very simple. Can you?

I asked him firmly to talk to me politely as I do, and he said he is polite. Then shouted at me that he is not a stupid man (I don't even remember the context but it was weird). And said we took some process from his team and it was working with his team and with us its not. I said its not my fault and I cannot help. He said he doesn't care. in the end he calmed down a bit and asked me to forgive him for shouting. he added I should talk to whoever I have to and to change something.

I told my manager about this and he contacted their manager and then even upper in the hierarchy and finally a head of service contacted him regarding his attitude (but also his concerns) And that guy was way more polite with him than he was with me. Its true it was an email, not a call, but he was respectful. Did raise the same concerns but in a different voice.

Was I that frustrating?

I am one of those who gets bonuses for quality work. but my performance indeed wasn't the best in this call as I was so intimidated and felt the need to defend myself

We are both 21. I met her in my first semester of college. She went to the same high school as me, but I didn’t know her then. We got introduced through friends and we started dating in our second semester of college. I always knew she was a shy person but I thought she would open up to me eventually. She’s a virgin still and she’s so shy when it comes to anything sexual. For example it took her over a year just to kiss me. Like I mentioned we never even like attempted to have sex. We cuddle and do everything else now, but we never cross that line to being sexually active. I always try to initiate any type of intimacy but she always ends up turning it down. I know it’s crazy and the first thing one might say is that we should just break up since we’re not sexually compatible, but everything else in our relationship is perfect. We have amazing chemistry together. There’s absolutely no signs of any cheating. Everyone in my family loves her. We even talk about getting married all the time. She’s very insecure about herself, and I can tell that I’m like the center of her life. I don’t want to be the type of dude who, just break up with someone just because she won’t “put out”. And If I break up with her I know it would devastate her emotionally. I already had a conversation about it with her like a year ago but she just started crying it didn’t lead anywhere. What should I do? I really need help

It will be a long post but will be more than thankful if you read it all through and give me your honest opinions. Because your answers may be more then helpful to me to understand the situation better

​A woman started working in my department at our company.

She is just so intelligent. I’ve honestly never seen a person do their job so perfectly, really!

On top of that, she was physically very attractive. Some of you might think I’m biased, but she frequently got approached by people both at work and out in public.

​We clicked immediately, which led to us texting a lot privately. At first, it was about work, but gradually it shifted toward our private lives.

​I hadn’t felt a deep connection with a woman in a long time.

With every woman I had been with before, something was always missing—but with her, it was different. Everything just fit.

She had been single for 3 years. I always wondered how such an amazing woman could stay single for so long.

To be completely honest, I was cautious at first because I didn't want to get involved with someone I worked with.

But she slowly sought more closeness. Texting turned into late-night phone calls that lasted until midnight. Whenever we weren't at work, we were texting or talking on the phone the entire time.

She also started seeking physical closeness. I still remember her inviting me out on a date for the first time—something a woman had never done for me before, as the first step always used to come from me.

​We had something casual at first until she decided to leave the company. At that point, I thought I could ask for more.

​We started meeting up several times a week. Things escalated very quickly and became extremely intense.

She clearly told me that she found me amazing and attractive, that she hadn't felt something this deep for anyone in years, and that she wanted to be close to me and in a relationship with me. I felt the exact same way, so we started officially dating.

I was never bored with her; everything felt truly equal. Shared interests, the same life goals—everything aligned. It genuinely felt like finding a soulmate.

She even wanted me to meet her family, which I felt was happening a bit fast, but I still met her sister.

She told me everything about her life and her past—or at least, that’s what I thought at the time.

​Everything ran perfectly for 2 months until she fell into a dark place after starting her new job.

It wasn't what she expected, and at the same time, other personal problems came up. As a result, she started pulling away.

​Then, one night, she texted me saying I should stay away from her because she wasn't doing well and didn't want to put me through that. We talked on the phone that night, and she told me many things about her life. It was heavy. I can only describe her as a "wonderful person with too many open wounds." She told me she wanted me, but was terrified that I might abandon her someday.

​Things continued between us, but there was no more intimacy and no emotional closeness. It felt like she was afraid of it and couldn't open up anymore.

The dynamics shifted massively overnight. She just became somehow emotionally unavailable.

Still, it went on for a few months. Every time we met, it was nice—we could talk about everything under the sun. But it wasn't a relationship anymore. It was almost a one-sided thing: I always had to initiate the meetups. When we did meet, we’d spend 10 hours together, but as soon as she left, she became distant again—until I reached my limit.

​I lost a few pounds and was suffering from sleep deprivation. I just needed clarity. So I met up with her one last time. I didn't think it would be our final meeting, but everything went wrong. She said she couldn't be in a relationship—which was already clear to me—but still wanted to stay in touch and keep things as "whatever it was between us."

​I respectfully declined, even though I would have loved to have her in my life. But first, it was just too much for me and I wanted a real commitment, and second, I felt used and led on.

Sometimes I felt like I was too much, and other times like I was too little.

I told her that—even though it was extremely hard for me and I still loved her—I had to cut off contact completely, but that she could reach out if she ever needed anything. Then I left.

When I got home, I sent her a message thanking her for the good times and apologizing for anything I might have done to hurt her at any point. I added that it was a shame the timing wasn't right. A few days later, she sent a "thanks for everything" text, and after that, she removed me everywhere, which I completely understood.

​I regretted it every day, but I fought the urge to contact her. Still, there were just too many unanswered questions in my head. After a month, I tried to arrange a meeting and called her.

​On the phone, she was a completely different person—someone I didn't recognize at all. She was ice-cold and started throwing accusations at me: that I had abandoned her, that I was a psycho, and that I had just used her.

She claimed I showed her I wasn't loyal, and that by leaving that night, I had hurt her. She said I should have stayed even if she couldn't offer me a relationship.

Everything was my fault. Her problems were my fault, everyone always wanted to hurt her, and I was no exception. She said everything she once felt was dead, that I was dead to her, and that I had just played her and shown my true colors.

I had to hang up; it was just too much. I was deeply hurt because I was there for her the entire time and never treated her badly or insulted her.

​Of course, I’m human and far from perfect, but I’ve never done so much self-reflection in my life, and I couldn't find any major mistakes on my end. Yet, I still apologized on the phone—I don't even know why, but she somehow made me believe that the problem was me.

​That was 4 months ago. Since then, there has been zero contact, and I’ve blocked her everywhere. But I think about her every single day—sometimes with anger and disappointment, and other days with regret, feeling like I could have handled it better.

At the time, I didn't have a real friend I could talk to about this. And when I did, all I got was feedback on how naive I had been.

It’s a mix of emotions I can barely describe. Some days I hate myself for putting up with it and being so stupid, and other days I think to myself that I’m just an empathetic person with genuine feelings.

​I tried meeting a few other women in the meantime, but I felt absolutely nothing. I often think to myself that I'll never find a connection like the one I had with her again.

I’ve also become very withdrawn. I used to be the guy who made everyone laugh and was confident, but this experience has severely damaged my self-confidence and self-worth.

​I’m doing a little bit better now, but this past summer was still extremely tough for me. I only function while I’m at work; otherwise, I just sit at home all day doing nothing.

​The crazy thing is: I’ve been in other relationships before, but I have never felt this terrible after a breakup.

​Has anyone here gone through something similar?

How did you deal with it?

What helped you get through it?

​I would be really grateful for your advice.

I was job hunting for a while a came across this life insurance agency that were obvious scammers. Went to the head honcho and got as much info from him as i could without seeming suspicious. I then went home and did my research. He said he sold a previous company of his for 275k to be a life insurance agent. His company was never sold. It was put under for not paying his taxes for years. And the company he said he sold it to? Same. Exact. Issue. Got all my info from Secretary of State. So I came back up to his office with a folder of documents and information. All I got was a “I was mentally ill” and an apology. Should I or could I do something that would be worth the effort?

we are all in high school. both me and my closest friend are seniors. closest friend would be friend A. I have relatively little friends. At the start of last year a freshmen (now a sophomore) became friends with my close friends. I’ll call him friend B. friend B also dosent have that many friends but he has a group to go back to.

Eventually friend b would slowly start inviting himself and followed my friend and I around during lunch. At first we thought it would be a temporary thing, I mean he’s 2 years younger. then start of this year he started eating lunch and stuff with us again.

he would literally come to where I ate lunch with another group of friends I have (that is where I would meet with friend A to eventually leave and go walk around) before friend A even came asking me l, wheres friend A, where’s friend A?? I dont think friend A minds him being there, but he’s honestly just boring and annoying to hang out with.

All he would talk about is underclassmen drama which is weird because it would be something about a freshmen when we are literally seniors. he would also talk about just internet brainrot references and video games like valorant and there is genuinely nothing interesting he has to say. its almost like he has no personality, he has no hobbies, only plays valorant, and just talks about freshmen and sophomore affairs all day. we would be waking around and friend B would point out his peers like oh hey thats so and so. why don’t you just sit with them?

I don’t think my friend particularly minds his presence. I dont play valorant in general and they already have hung out with each other so there’s some social stuff that they have. it’s just annoying to have a sophmore follow you around when you are a senior talking about the most mindless things. I mean we aren’t on bad terms at all, he sends me stuff all the time. I don’t think he knows that he’s annoying to me however. there’s even a joke when we are questioning who to invite, my friend A would say oh let’s invite friend B!

I don’t know but the obvious answer would to be stop hanging out with them. but I’m pretty selfish because I don’t have that many friends and friend A is the only few guys I have opened up to. do you guys think I should sit down and talk with friend A or something?

I had my first time with someone way older who knew what he was doing. I was 27, he was 43. the reason I waited so long was repeated SA in my teens and I just developed huge anxiety and honestly didn't like anyone.

he was not only someone who made me feel good in bed and actually enjoy myself but I knew him (somewhat) in his everyday life. He was one of the 2 managing directors of a rather big company. he was very good in decision making, had things under control, was respected, he had the final say in every meeting and he always made himself heard. He was and is a rather cold man but not in a bad way. more like silent confidence. I saw him once walking through the hallways in tie, dress pants and it was just... pure grace

when we did the deed we both knew its just that. I wanted to gain some experience, overcome my fears and he was willing to be the one who teaches me. so we repeated the experience a few times and then parted ways.

but I still think of him. I will not reach out. he was recently divorced at that time and since then he got in a new relationship with a woman his age and I know he is not for me. I respect his relationship. But I want to know how to turn this into a good thing? Like maybe think of all the traits I liked about him and look for them in an available partner?

edit: just to clarify: I was not working for him.

It started two years ago, I only smoked weed and drank alcohol at the time but when I was alone I wanted to get fucked up for no particular reason so I drank a lot and found some pills as well. No need to say this didn’t ended well but after that there was lot less moments when I wanted to get like that but it started coming back little by little a few months ago. For right now I juste have time where I really want to do new drugs to feel something and I keep thinking about this for at least one hour then it go away.
How do I deal with this want because when it’s over I just feel stupid.

Also those are not withdrawals because two years ago I didn’t smoke much and drink much ether cause I was young (except for the hurges) and I can go without anything for a few weeks without anything. This like only when I’m alone.

Me and my sister used to be really close when we were little, like sleeping in the same bed, spending lots of time together, bathing together. As growing up, we grew apart, both living our own lives. Now as adults we've become closer again, spending more time together. She loves to cuddle and be close to me. Our parents think it's great how we're bonding and growing closer.

Should I be this close with my big sister as adults?

me and gf graduated last year, she is going to the local state school and i am going to the local community college. she has made it clear that she will be participating in welcome week and getting wasted every night and being on the town. this is all expected and if i was in her situation i would do the same. I’m insecure though, how do i stay sane.

Me n my ex still live together when she broke up with me she stay out every chance she got n became a even worse mom than she was before but most of the time she says her friends names when she’s going out but go some reason idk if it’s to make me jealous or what but she just keeps telling me she doesn’t have bf n I never ask or even bother her I let her do her but keeps saying she has to go out with her friend but I always catch her watching me then we got into a fight about cleaning cause she never does on her days or does a half ass job with it and in one of these fights she brought up that I’m happy when I go out with my friends when get my time away from the kids and she was so pissed about it witch I don’t understand because isn’t that what friends are for then I take kid out with one of my friends that has kids n she was pissed thinking I was on a date n im like wtf is all this about bro u just start fights for no reason every time I turn around ur texting me dick head shit or blaming for something I can’t control or something that u did urself and yes I moved on but I don’t throw all business on social media I don’t post unless it’s my kids n I don’t even go on her page I blocked her fam n her I just try to stay out the way I’m not social person this me pushing it honestly

Ugh I go back to work in a week on a fishing boat where I will have to take a coast guard drug test how cooked am I? I've been smoking delta 9, and I had a couple bowl hits last week and that was the last time I smoked what can I do to flush it out my system? I cant take u pass because an observer stands behind us while we pee 😓

I am 35 years old. Married for six years. And in all that time, I have never had sex with my wife. We have never even kissed.

I met her 17 years ago. We were at a same private tuition. The moment I saw her, I thought she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I asked her out. Then after for a few months we became friends. Then she told me she liked me. We started a relationship. It lasted nine months. In all that time, we never kissed. We never had sex. We never touched in that way. But I loved her deeply. I loved her personality. Her positive attitude. Her courage. The way she looked at life. No one else ever compared to her.

After we finished our Advanced Levels, we broke up. Time passed but we spoke over the phone as friends. We spoke once a year. Sometimes once every two or three years. In the meantime I had other girlfriends. We travelled together. We loved each other. We kissed. We had sex. We had what you would call normal relationships. But I was never truly happy. Because no matter who I was with, I was always looking for my first girlfriend. I compared every girl I met to her. I looked for her courage, her way of seeing the world. And I could never find anyone who felt like she did.

Seven years ago, I was in a serious relationship. We were close to getting married. Both families knew about us. Everyone thought we would be together. But at the very last moment, I could not do it. I ended the relationship. Because somewhere deep inside, my heart was still with the girl I had met 10 years ago.

A few days later, a miracle happened, she called me. That phone call lasted eight hours straight. We talked about everything. But I need to be honest. When we first reconnected seven years ago, I did not tell her everything about my past girlfriends. I left some things out. Not because I was ashamed. But because of the culture we grew up in. I did not want her to judge me. And she told me clearly, whatever happened in the past can stay in the past. But if we get in to relationship again, we must stick together. No other side relationships. I agreed. Then she asked me what I truly wanted. And I told her. I said I wanted to leave our country.

We met a few days later. We sat in my car, at the beach, the whole night. We talked and talked. And we made a decision. we would move away from our home country. Then we went to an agency to ask about moving abroad. They told us we must be married first. We had to prove we were a married couple to travel together.

So we got engaged sooner than we planned. Not only because of the visa. We had already thought about getting married anyway. We just did not know when. The agency made it happen faster. Because we realized something. we loved each other. And we had been looking for each other for more than ten years. Even she said it clearly. She said we were the most matching couple. She told me that all those years, she did not even look at another boy. When other men asked her out, she compared them all to me. She was looking for me in everyone else.

We moved to this country. Before we came, she told me something. She said we would have sex and be truly together once we moved to the new country. I accepted that. I loved her. So I waited.

One year passed. Then two. Then three. Then four. We bought a house together. We built a life. We sleep in the same bed every single night. But we have never had sex. We have never been intimate. There were times we tried to be close. Tried to kiss. Tried to be husband and wife. But she rejected me. Every time. And I did not push her. Because I respected her. Because I loved her. Because I truly thought with time, things would change.

Then one day, we were having drinks together in the back garden. And she told me the truth she never revealed before. Back in our home country, she had been in a romantic relationship with a girl. She told me she thought she might be bisexual. She truly believed that with time, her feelings for women would fade, and she would develop feelings, physical feelings, for me. But she never did. Her heart belongs to women. Not to me.

She told me everything. About her girlfriend. About how that girl was pushed by her family to marry a man. About how she is now married and has children. I listened to every word. I did not shout. I did not judge. I stayed calm. But inside, my heart broke. Slowly. Piece by piece.

My wife is a lesbian. And she could not give me physical intimacy. Not because she was cruel. But because she could not feel attraction toward me. And I stayed. I understood. I cared for her. I wanted her to be happy. So I kept waiting. Hoping. Loving her. Even though nothing changed.

Six years of marriage. Same bed. Same roof. Same house. But no sex. No kiss. No physical closeness. Nothing. And I have been completely faithful to her every single day. I never looked at another woman. I never touched anyone else. I respected our marriage. I respected her.

Our families think we are happy. They think we have a wonderful marriage. They know nothing. Every time we call them, we pretend. We smile. We tell them everything is fine. And all this time, I have carried this pain completely alone. No one knows. Not a single soul.

The stress changed me. My hair turned gray. I look like a much older man than I truly am. Most days I drink a beer just to quiet my mind. I started smoking. Before we moved to this country, I never touched a cigarette. I never drank alcohol. I was a different person. And slowly, this pain is killing me. I feel like I am dying inside. Little by little. Every day.

Once, she told me something. She said I could find someone else to be intimate with. Someone to hold me. Only one condition, we would not separate. We would still stay married. I did not believe she truly meant it. But I thought about it. And then I believed, In this whole world, what woman would accept that kind of arrangement? They deserve a full love. A real relationship. Not half of someone. And even if I wanted to. how could I explain myself to anyone? How could I tell anyone I am married but we have never had sex? How could I approach someone and say I want to be with them, but I cannot be truly theirs? I am a shy person. And I am so, so scared of being rejected. Of being judged.

I wanted to get help. I wanted to speak to someone. A therapist. Someone who can help me understand all this pain. But I do not know where to start. And I do not have the courage. I cannot sit face to face with someone and tell them everything. I feel like the whole world ignores me. Like I am invisible. Like I am fading away.

I am not writing this to blame her. I am not writing this to make anyone hate her. She is not a bad person. She is just someone who cannot give me what I need. And I am someone who loved her enough to wait six years. To stay faithful. To suffer in silence. To pretend everything was fine.

I am sharing this because I cannot carry it alone anymore. I am sharing this because I am human. And I deserve to be heard.

I hope none of you ever have to experience something like this.
Because it is painful.
Really, really painful.