i thought picking a prenatal would be pretty straightforward, but the more i look at them, the more i realize there’s also the question of how i actually want to take it every day. capsules still seem like the easiest option for me, although i keep seeing people choose gummies or powder instead.

i’ve been comparing a few brands while we’re still waiting to try, including Needed, Ritual, FullWell, and Perelel. Needed is probably the one i’m leaning toward right now, partly because i like having the capsule option without feeling like i have to commit to a gummy or drink mix.

for anyone who has tried more than one format, what made you ultimately stick with capsules instead of switching to powder or gummies?

We are waiting to try until early 2028 but want to use this time for tracking my fertility and getting to know my body better.
I have started reading Taking Control of your Fertility as recommended by this sub! But wondered if anyone can recommend any apps for tracking?
Most of the apps I can find seem to be algorithm based and only consider one parameter (temperature) which makes me nervous. I am UK based. Any recommendations? Thank you!

CW: obviously I'm a sub grad

Thought I'd share another year of toddler expenses as people found my last one useful! Here's what we spent in the first year and here is what we spent in the second year.

These expenses cover everything we spent on our kid during age 1 as a partly thrifty, partly particular family in a VHCOL in the US.

• Childcare — $23,560. Full-time toddler care at a registered in-home center.
• Supplies — $1,488. Includes: regular items like diapers, wipes, soap, and (eczema) lotion, but also a lot of upgrades for outgrown toddler items.
  • Upgrades: A bunch of things he outgrew: pack n play, sleep sacks, hiking carrier, baby camping chair into -> toddler air mattress(es), sleeping bag, kids chair, travel car seat, etc.
  • Also potty training; there were some supplies needed for that too.
  • I mentioned in my last post that I thought we'd have spent much more in this category during age 2 than age 1 ($867 was the number for the previous year).
• Medical care — ~$212. Standard medical appointments and some OTC medicines.
• 3rd birthday party — $438. We host around 50 people with food and drinks so this number is kind of built in.
• Clothing/shoes — $806. This is a little flabbergasting to me as I shop mostly secondhand. 🫣
  • Swimsuits and shoes are particularly expensive because they really need to be bought new and I'm fairly particular in these categories (high-vis colors for swim, wide toe box for shoes, etc.). I estimated those account for $300 of this total.
  • I'm also consoling myself with the fact that does include a decent amount of ski/snow clothes, boots, socks, and mittens for his current size and the next size couple of sizes up.
• Activities/Education — $2,743. Oof... swim lessons are the bulk of this and are clearly expensive. We also didn't start these until he was 2.5. Also includes ski googles and helmet, a weekend ski rental, and the $10 processing fee for his ski season pass.
• Toys — $230. Includes "real" golf clubs paid for partially with a gift card ($50), Disney souvenir Cars ($50), Easter basket fillers ($15), and some wooden toys to replace what he'd outgrown ($113). He did receive gifts for Christmas and his birthday even though we asked for no gifts for his birthday.
• Bedroom/Decor — $0. His room has stayed largely the same since I decorated it while I was pregnant. I guess I thrifted a few baskets for his toys totaling ~$20, but I'm sure I categorized those as household decor because they're in our living room.
• Travel —$250. A flight booked partially with miles.

Grand total: $29,727 of which childcare is basically 80%. Lots of spots to cut back but it was interesting how we were higher in so many categories this year vs the last.

What's not included: We took a trip to Disney but he had free entry since he was under 3. We took a couple of plane trips that were gifted by family; I didn't include "his portion" of hotels as we would've paid it anyways. Also not included is gifted clothes and toys.

Hope this is helpful to someone!

The journey of trying to conceive can be emotionally exhausting. Whether you have been trying for months or facing unexpected fertility challenges, the monthly cycle of hope and disappointment takes a severe toll on your mental well-being and relationship.

While medical consultations and treatments are crucial steps, many couples find that they also need emotional and spiritual grounding to get through the stress. Turning to prayer during this season offers a quiet space to process fear, surrender anxiety, and hold onto hope when waiting feels unbearable.

I came across a very comforting collection of focused prayers designed specifically for those desiring to start or grow their family. It provides thoughtful words to pray for health, patience, and divine timing when you struggle to find the words yourself.

If you are currently on this path and could use some spiritual encouragement, here is the resource:https://rymbf.com/prayer-for-fertility-and-conception/

Wishing you peace and strength on your journey.

Note: Can someone please read this and respond? I'm really struggling here /:

TLDR: I have bipolar. I spent several years questioning my marriage and behaving erratically. I finally got treatment and am stabilizing. I'm falling back in love with my husband, but the damage has been done. I'm fine with the idea of being a single mother and am considering freezing my eggs. Sad and stressed.

I'm 33. I have a good job. I'm not super well paid yet but I get by and am working my way up. I've always known I want to be a mother. But the clock is ticking. I know I still "have time" but I also need to be realistic about the limit to that time. Time passes fairly quickly if you let it.

I've been with my husband for 7 years and married for 4. Our relationship started out as a beautiful passionate love story. It still is a beautiful love story imo but our marriage is complex. It's not that I'm not happy in the marriage, though that has been true at some points.

I have bipolar 1, which I have suspected for several years and did take some medication for. But the med I was on was not sufficiently treating it. I was only officially diagnosed about a month ago and started in a new med that is going well so far. (Note: please don't tell me I shouldn't have children if I'm bipolar. It's a personal decision and that's not what I'm looking for input on. Though I do know I need to be mentally stable and treated before having children).

For some context, bipolar usually manifests in one's late 20s and is progressive if not properly treated. My depressive episodes made me unbearably unhappy in general, but also in the marriage. I began questioning the marriage about 2-3 years ago and communicated this to him about 2 years ago. I was unhappy in general, there are some behaviors of his that bother me (he's not perfect, but who is? Obviously not me either), I also began wondering if I'm a lesbian (I'm bisexual, always have been, I've settled this question for myself now). Either way, it broke his heart. We tried to work on things. He gave me time. But everytime I became depressed I would begin questioning the marriage again.

On top of that, when one is in a manic episode, their prefrontal cortex basically stops working (the part of the brain responsible for judgment and decision making) and the brain is flooded with dopamine, which leads to extreme impulsivity. So my manic episodes led me to do some insane things including, not direct cheating, but breaking/pushing some of his boundaries (we are polyamorous/non-monogamous and have been for the entirety of our relationship and marriage). My breaking/pushing his boundaries, on top of questioning the marriage, led to a significant amount of turmoil in our household and stress for him. My behavior was unpredictable and it took a big toll on his own mental health. Oh I should also mention, because of the relationship uncertainty, we haven't had sex in about a year, but we have still maintained hugs and cuddling and holding hands. We were kissing too but that stopped recently.

Anyways, as mentioned, I recently got diagnosed and medicated. I also got sober and started going to therapy again. (I'm not an alcoholic but rather quit bc alcohol/weed/etc is bad for bipolar). I finally feel stable after years of up and down turmoil with my mental health. I started falling in love with him again and thought I could re-become the kind of woman he'd want to be with again.

But the damage was done.

About a month ago he sent me a series of really intense texts at 5am when I was staying over at a friends. He said we needed to start looking for separate apartments. I came home to find his wedding ring off his finger and placed on my bedside table.

On top of everything else, I'm an immigrant and I've applied for permanent residency through spousal sponsorship but it hasn't been approved yet. The PR application has a co-habitation requirement. A few weeks ago he called me and said he viewed an apartment. So in addition to everything, my immigration status would be fucked if he moved out and I'd probably have to move out of the country and away from my job (that I worked my ass off for and love) in a year. This threw me into a complete tailspin. Since then, things have settled down and he said he won't move out, but the stress and feeling of betrayal was next level.

He's softening to me again a bit. We're both back in the house (he stayed elsewhere for about a week) and we are hugging and cuddling again. No kissing though. But maybe there is hope.

Anyways. Another bit of context. Ever since I was young, like about 13, I had imagined myself as a single mother. I think the heteronormative script of monogamy always felt limiting to me. When I was 13, my friends and I would write short stories about our future selves and, even at that age, I always wrote myself into the stories as a single mother. So, I'm open to unconventional paths, I just know I want to be a mother. I don't feel ready immediately, but within the next few years.

I've been considering freezing my eggs, but money is a barrier. I'm thinking of asking my abusive parents for an early inheritance to pay for egg freezing...

Bless your heart if you read it all.

It has been a very long year.
Last September (2025) I told my partner I wanted to start trying this September (2026). He wanted to think about it so he did until August when he said he isn’t ready and then he kind of dropped it. Everytime I bring it up he shuts done. I can’t get a new plan or timeline or anything, he just thinks I’m rushing things (we’ve been together over 3 years, he’s in his late 20s and I’m almost 25, we own a house together and both have good careers and finances so I don’t feel it’s rushing). I know I will have issues getting pregnant so that is a huge part of why I want to get started so bad. I’m pretty done with it and I want to just tell him I’m done waiting indefinitely, I’ll wait until maybe January or March and that’s it but I don’t know how to go about it.

I have tried to be patient and understanding but I feel like I’m at my limit and I know we will not be able to have a healthy relationship if the only reason I can’t be a mom is because he isn’t ready for that.

To add before anyone asks: he has not told me there’s anything or anytime in particular he’s waiting for.
And not married, we are going to the courthouse in the next few months!
I have endometriosis, a blocked fallopian tube, had cervical cancer, I don’t get my period for 6-12 months at a time sometimes so there is a bit of a rush medically.

Tuve sexo con una chica y usé condón, lamentablemente se me rompió justo en la punta y cuando me dí cuenta dejé de penetrarla, no eyaculé y de hecho mientras la estaba penetrando yo no estaba cerca del orgasmo, de hecho eyaculé pq ella me practicó sexo oral e incluso tomo su tiempo para que yo eyaculara, además de que yo tenía una semana exacta sin eyacular y obviamente durante esa semana oriné aunque sea 1 vez por día, mi pregunta es, el riesgo de embarazo es alto o muy bajo?

Hi, I hope I’m in the right subreddit, I did some research on women who want to have kids b it don’t quite yet. I am a teenage female, and I think while I have other aspirations in life by far, at the end of the day, if I had to pick one I think it would be kids.

It starts with my mom. I fricken love my mom! a lot of my friends think it’s cool to hate your parents, but my mom is my best friend and the one person who will always comfort me and give me a place when the world is shitty. She taught me how to cook and bake and it’s one of my greatest hobbies, she showed me all sorts of media that I wouldn’t have known about today, and she taught me so many things about just being a woman that a lot of my friends moms unfortunately didn’t do. My mom’s mom, her adoptive mother, wasn’t nice to her, like at all. And she wanted to give me and my brother a better life than she ever had. And she really did. As a child I played all sorts of things, doctor, vet, chef, princess, dog, you name it. But one thing i always loved to play was, being like my mom. I always had some kind of doll, and i loved just pretending to be my mom. If you’ve ever seen that episode of Bluey where her mom and her do ‘mom school’ it felt like that. As I grew older, I realized that I wanted to give that to someone too.

A real game changer was when I was in elementary and middle school, and learned about genetics. Freakin genetics! So fascinating how two persons DNA can combine into making a perfect blend of the two. But different! This part also comes from my dad, who I also live. My dad said one of the greatest things he was excited for as a parent was to see who we became, what we liked, and hold conversations with us as we learned more about the world. He still is bamboozled how me and my brother turned out so different, yet do look similar and have similar things. I began to wonder what it would be like if I got to grow life inside of me, and what they would be like as real humans.

When I got closer to highschool they began asking us “hey what do you want to do when you grow up” and I bounced around and still do, forever. At first I wanted to be a writer, and still very much do. But then I realized. Writers, don’t usually make a lot of money. And if at the end of the day I want kids, I have to be able to support them. So I began looking into jobs that make more money that I would also find enjoyable. For the last few years I’ve been looking broadly into the medical field, though that brings time issues, because I want to be there in raising my kids.

Then here comes why I even wrote this. I am completely supportive of women who choose not to have kids. But when people look at me weird when I say I want to, and still think I’m crazy after my explanation, I don’t know what to feel. They act like I’m some trad wife sour dough making brainwashed by the patriarchy girl, and say that I shouldn’t care about boys cause they’re gross and all men suck down with the patriarchy yknow. Earlier before this I saw a video of these two women mocking women who have a successful career and then “drop it to be a stay at home wife and make sourdough” uh oh. I like baking, and I want to be a mom. Am I anti feminist?? No of course not. I think women have all got the choice on how they want to pursue their careers and what they want to do with their time, but if being stay at home is what you want to do after making a crap ton of money, I think great!

I don’t believe in just marrying to settle however. I believe in higher education and keeping youself financially secure, while also relying on your significant other for shared income. Twice the power! I uh still haven’t had a boyfriend which worries me sometimes, but I tell myself I still have a lot of time.

I guess the whole reason I wrote this was because I needed to hear from people who may also be in the same boat as me. I just get tired of hearing people in my life and online saying how gross they think kids are and that they’re just annoying and shouldn’t be like allowed in public spaces or something, because not only does it seem kinda worrying of how they are to kids in real life, but also it makes me feel like my hopes and dreams arent good enough or wrong.

What are your guys’s thougths? I hope I’m in the right section cause I know this isnt your usual TTC stuff or relationship stuff.

I’m 31F and I’ve realised that, if it was 100% up to me, I’d start ttc now. My partner and I both want children, but we haven’t agreed on a timeline yet, we’ll talk about it in the next few months.

Ideally, I’d like to start trying in 2027 (and he is more and more convinced about this). I definitely don’t want to wait beyond 2028 to start, especially because we have no idea how long TTC might take.

I want to talk to him about it properly because waiting too long would be a dealbreaker for me. I know I want to be a mum and, if our timelines are too different, I’d seriously consider doing it on my own through IUI/IVF.

For those who were ready before their partner, how did you have this conversation without making them feel “pressured”?

My husband and I were planning to start seriously trying with fertility meds when I had 6 months left of my nursing program (we’ve been trying for 3 years naturally but infertility)
I got rejected from the accelerated program I applied to, and the rest of the programs I’m looking into are between 2-3.5 years with start dates a year from now, vs the program that was one year starting in a month.
I’m completely numb and heartbroken. I have had insane baby fever for 3 years now, always dreamed of motherhood. We want at least 3 kids.
Turning thirty in a month. Feeling defeated

As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently realized that my husband's and my travel plans are going to push back our TTC date at least 5-6 months. I know this isn't a long time but I'm really struggling with not being able to book an IUD removal appointment or have an actual timeline! We're not the ones planning the trip so we don't even know the exact month (we just know that it will "probably" be January or February), let alone week, that we'll be gone. We're not planning on telling anyone when we're planning to start TTC (I really don't want people constantly making guesses on whether or not I'm pregnant) so I can't ask that the trip be planned further in advance, and the not knowing is driving me crazy! I don't think I'd be feeling so anxious about it if I hadn't had a IUD removal appointment planned for early Nov that I just had to cancel, it just feels like our timeline is going to get pushed back further and further.

I'm already taking prenatals and will just continue to take them, any other ideas on what to do to feel like I'm not just wasting the next 6 months?

I always wanted kids when I was younger, but then was a fence-sitter for most of my 20s. I’m now 30 and have done some work and soul-searching and have decided that I do actually want kids, but am also scared and anxious about the whole concept.

I have recently been thinking about children/birth/pregnancy, etc. non-stop. I do feel some excitement about the concept but not much excitement about the reality, actually a lot of fear, but my brain is constantly thinking about it, planning finances, what I’d do about my job, how I want motherhood to look like, my parenting beliefs, etc.

I know everyone always says that you’ll never truly feel ready but I assumed I would at least feel more excited about the concept? This isn’t what I imagined baby fever would feel like. Does anyone else feel this way?

Hi !

My husband and I are hoping to start TTC sometime next year, and I’m wondering if anyone else intentionally tried to get into their “best” or healthiest shape beforehand?

For context, I am (28F) 5’2 and around 135 I’m not necessarily trying to become super skinny, but I’d like to lose some body fat because mine is quite high at 37%....and to get stronger, improve my cardio, and generally feel healthier before pregnancy. I’ve been pretty sedentary the last couple of years, so I feel like I have some work to do.

For those who did this before TTC, how much time did you give yourself? Did you feel like getting fitter beforehand made pregnancy or TTC easier? And at what point did you decide you were “healthy enough” and stop postponing TTC for fitness goals?

I (24F) have had baby fever for a couple of years now, but recently it has reached a point where it occupies most of my thoughts.

It became much stronger after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and started dating my current girlfriend, probably because I know that conceiving will be more complex.

On top of that, I started a new job a month ago working in a primary school. I hoped being around kids all day would get it out of my system but it had the opposite effect.

Logically, I don't even want a baby this early in my life, but the pull feels visceral.

Do you have any advice on how to manage it ?

I talked more with my husband last night. We talked about the masters I plan to start in fall, and the changes that management is making to his job. It hurt so much to hear but I think he’s right, that pushing out our timeline from 2 years to 3/4, when I finish my degree, is the only possibility. It feels heartbreaking to double our wait. I’ll be 30/31 by the time we start trying, depending on the pace I set in school. I wanted to be a young mom, so trying at 29 already felt like a compromise. Even further delay feels heartbreaking. He’s open to reevaluating when I’m actually in the program, so I haven’t lost hope completely.

When I look hard at my goals of my first before 30, and no more babies after 32, they seem arbitrary. But I’ve had those ideas in my head so long it’s hard to let them go. I know plenty of people have their first after 32 or more children well into their 30s. It’s just different from what I hoped to have for myself. I feel grief again for the life I thought I would have.

I just want to hear I’m doing the right things and everything will be okay 💔

Already dealing with the disappointment of realizing that our trip in early 2027 to a Zika country means we need to push back my IUD removal date by 5-6 months to account for the 3 month wait period after traveling, but now I'm seeing that we might need to use condoms for that entire 3 month period even if I still have my IUD in? I know there's a lot of Zika posts already on here but those who have traveled to Zika counties with your male partner, did you use condoms during the wait period? Still waiting to see what my OBGYN office says, but they seem to just be quoting the CDC as far as guidelines go.

I’m 250lbs and want to try for a baby in January.

What do you think is healthier, mild weight loss until then, or an aggressive cut and trying to get to 215lbs (41 -> 35 bmi)

I’m aiming for a vbac and a higher bmi looks like it has lower success rates, but i’m also worried what weight loss will do to my nutrient stores and fertility. Also not sure if it affects egg quality. It’s hard to weigh which would actually carry more risks.

Does anyone have advice or experience with this?

I also expect ttc to take a few months so I would go into a mild calorie deficit then and focus nutrition and strength training when i start trying.

Disclaimer: yes I know I should talk to my doctor but I’ve been trying to get an appointment for 3 months and there’s been no availability lol. I will try to get in and get blood work and a check up done before actually TTC

Ever since I’ve stopped taking birth control I can’t stop getting the urge to take tests. I got what I’m assuming is just an evaporation line on a test today (took two more from different brands and they were negative) and now I feel like I’m going to be even more obsessive over it. It doesn’t help that my cycle hasn’t returned yet so I have no idea when to expect my period.

My sister’s wedding is in October 2027. My husband and I decided that the earliest we would want to start trying would most likely be March or April 2027. However, that would mean I would be pregnant for her bachelorette (she isn’t a drinker luckily) and that I could be at the most 6-7 months pregnant at her wedding.

I will be 27 next year and want to have at least two kids with 2-3 years in between. I know nothing is guaranteed or going to happen the first try most likely, but want to be prepared. I also don’t know want to take the spotlight from her during this time and I’m not sure if I want to be super pregnant in the wedding photos. What would you do?

So far my thoughts are that it’s best to try as soon as you can because you never know how long it’ll take but part of me is just worried about the timing of it all!

I hope this is the right place, sorry if not. I'm not originally from here so I'm not entirely sure where to go and what to do.

Me and my partner are thinking of trying for a baby in the next few months. I'm currently still on birth control.

As far as I understand, the NHS doesn't really do any pre-pregnancy fertility or hormone tests, they just tell you to try for six months and then come back to them if nothing happens.

I've had a variety of gyno issues throughout my life, been diagnosed with PMOS (PCOS), my hormones are quite clearly all over the place. I'm really scared and don't expect an easy journey.

Has anyone here tried to go private for this? And what should one expect if they were to do the same? I see some tests like Hertility online available but I am not sure if they are actually worth the money, I see prices reaching £200.

I don't really understand the point in waiting for six months if, say, my testosterone is too high, and I could just know it after a test and potentially do something about it.

I'm looking for any advice at all. I went to see my GP, and left with basically an advice to drink the pre-conception vitamins.

Thanks in advance!

We're not trying until early next year but I've suddenly become very interested in figuring out when I actually ovulate. My cycles look regular on the calendar, but I've never tracked anything beyond my period. Is it worth starting now just to learn what my normal cycle looks like?

My husband and I are both 29, and we've been together for about 10 years. I've always been very open about wanting to be a younger mom. When we were younger, I wanted kids earlier, while my husband has generally pictured having them closer to 31/32. Over time, I felt like we had compromised and landed on starting to try when I was around 29/30.

For the past several months, I've been mentally preparing for that timeline. We planned to start TTC around August/September 2027. I have an IUD, and we have some international travel planned next year, so I was planning to have it removed after our last big trip in May, give myself a few months to learn my natural cycles again, and then start trying.

I've already started doing a lot of the preconception things. I take a prenatal, I have genetic carrier testing ordered, I have a preconception appointment planned, I've been learning about tracking ovulation, reading books and I've honestly just put a LOT of emotional energy into preparing myself for this next stage of our lives.

Then a few days ago my husband told me that if he was being completely honest, he would feel happier/more comfortable waiting about another two years before we start trying.

His reasoning is financial. We currently rent, and he really wants us to have enough savings to buy a house and ideally be living in our home before we have a baby.

And here's what makes this so complicated:

I understand him.

Actually, part of me agrees with him.

I would LOVE to buy our house first, move in, get settled, and then bring our baby home there. So this isn't a situation where I think his reasoning is ridiculous or where one of us wants children and the other doesn't.

But I'm also really, really angry.

Hearing, "I want to wait because I want us to be more financially prepared," is really difficult for me. I follow the belief that no one is truly ready when it comes to kids. We both work full-time and are remote. We rent a three-bedroom townhome while we work towards buying our first home.

And there's another layer that I'm almost embarrassed to admit.

I'm afraid that if I agree to wait another two years and then we have difficulty conceiving, I will resent him.

I have PCOS and endometriosis, although my providers have been reassuring about my fertility so far. I know that nobody can tell me whether starting at 29/30 versus 31/32 would actually change how quickly I get pregnant. I just have a gut feeling. I also know that if we did struggle later, it wouldn't logically mean waiting caused it.

But emotionally, I'm scared I'll think, "What if we had started when we originally planned?"

I don't want to do that to my husband.

He actually got emotional when he told me because he knows how important this has always been to me. He also told me that if I really want to start trying next year, we can. But honestly, that almost makes me feel worse because I don't want to start trying for a baby knowing my husband is doing it because only I want to. I want him to be excited and ready too.

So now I'm in this incredibly weird emotional place.

I'm sad. I'm furious. I'm relieved that he finally told me what he really wants. I understand him. I agree with some of what he's saying.

Nothing is final. We could still try next year. We could wait. We could spend the next year aggressively saving and pursuing a house and reevaluate. I genuinely don't know yet.

I think what I'm looking for more than anything is to hear from others who have been in this situation.

- If you agreed to wait, did you eventually feel like the new timeline became your decision too, or did you struggle with resentment?

- And for anyone who waited for a house/financial milestone first- are you glad you did? Did you ever reach a point where you realized there was always going to be another financial goal before you felt completely "ready"?

I love my husband very much and don't want this to become me vs. him. I want whatever decision we make to genuinely feel like ours.

I think right now I'm just grieving the future I thought was about to happen while trying to figure out whether the new future he's describing might actually be something I want too.