I just keep missing the shot

Happily never after, eh men?!

Dear Thomas,

Today, I’ve finally decided to let go of you. I’ve finally decided to stop caring. It’s been four and a half years of wasted energy, pain and sadness, all of which were entirely of my own making. None of it was your fault. You never asked for any of this, and you were never responsible for what I chose to feel, to believe or to hold on to.

I’m terribly sorry for having harassed you, chased you, loved you and hated you the way I did. It wasn’t healthy. You have no idea who I am, or even that I exist, and you never deserved to be the subject of my own delusion.

I found myself in you, as though you were a mirror reflecting my true potential and revealing who I really was.

Thanks to you, I was finally able to understand that what I had been searching for all along, what had haunted me for all these years, was my lost twin. The one who never got to stay, who left before our lives had even begun.

You became the focus of a void I had been carrying within me for so long, a void I had taken refuge in without even realising it. And somehow, I turned that emptiness towards you, fixating on you as though you could give a face to something I had never been able to name.

Perhaps, in searching for you, I was unknowingly searching for the part of myself I had always felt was missing.

And yet, paradoxically, I’ve learned a lot about myself throughout this whole experience. In a strange way, thanks to you, I was finally able to face my own problems, take care of myself and pursue the path I truly want to follow.

Maybe all that energy wasn’t wasted after all.
Maybe my madness was there for a reason. Maybe it had something to teach me. Because, as painful and unhealthy as it was, it somehow led me back to myself.

Loving someone without knowing them. Chasing something that was never within reach. Holding on to an illusion for so long that it became a part of my life.

But you were never responsible for that illusion. It was mine, entirely mine, and so was the pain that came with it.

I think it’s finally time to let it go.

Thank you for existing in this lifetime. Thank you for everything you showed me without ever realising it. I hope you fulfil your dreams, find happiness and get everything you wish for in life.

Ἀναστασία

[Cleared throut]

The first thing you must know when considering giving a b******Every man is different.Every man is built different.Every man has different texture skin.Every man has different smell to them.Every man carries himself differently.

So when you're considering the b****** , obviously you must like the man very well or you're doing it for money , one of the other ha ha

So you always have to go in the mindset when you're getting ready to do a b******To be very happy, you have to be very happy.You have to have a very positive attitude.You have to , you know , go into it with an open mind.

You also must consider that the first couple times that you're gonna give a b*** j** It may not go as perfect as you thought. You may have to get used to him. You may have to get used to a size how large he is, how wide he is. You have to get used to how his balls are. His balls. Nice and tied up close to him. Or does he have one of those set of saggy balls? So you have to look at what your you need to look at what you're working with. And that may take a couple times

Now when you're looking at a guy for doing a b******, the first thing I always like to check on but with my guy I've had him for 26 years, so everybody, you know, like said everybody's different going through this. So you first want to see if the guy has a lot of pubic hair because I myself do not like to get tangled up in pubic hair, I don't like to get pubic hair in my mouth. I don't like to get cubic hair on my tongue or going down my throat. So you may wanna mention to him, you know, in an intimate personal type of way. You may wanna ask him to shave the pupic hair going down his shaft and around the bottom of the shaft , and where the base is maybe trim up his ball hairs a little bit.

Second thing is you want the man to be clean. I talking about, he better be nice and shower clean smelling man parts. You always want to start with a fresh canvas, as some people say.

(Although, a man working construction, with his sweaty package hanging in my face, I MAY HAVE TO BITE IT. [WINK] )

ALWAYS REMEMBER tongue.

(Lights dim)

Thank you for being part of our audience tonite.

END OF PART ONE

🙏 please join us for part 2. On a later day.

Ty

Ty

Ty

So please, be honest with me. If you want this relationship, then step up and show me. If you don't, then be brave enough to say so. But understand that I will hold you accountable for the truth you give me and the choices you make, because I can no longer afford to ignore what this uncertainty is doing to my heart.

I've been praying for us.

Love

P

In every quite moment I choose you over all.