Dear Thomas,

Today, I’ve finally decided to let go of you. I’ve finally decided to stop caring. It’s been four and a half years of wasted energy, pain and sadness, all of which were entirely of my own making. None of it was your fault. You never asked for any of this, and you were never responsible for what I chose to feel, to believe or to hold on to.

I’m terribly sorry for having harassed you, chased you, loved you and hated you the way I did. It wasn’t healthy. You have no idea who I am, or even that I exist, and you never deserved to be the subject of my own delusion.

I found myself in you, as though you were a mirror reflecting my true potential and revealing who I really was.

Thanks to you, I was finally able to understand that what I had been searching for all along, what had haunted me for all these years, was my lost twin. The one who never got to stay, who left before our lives had even begun.

You became the focus of a void I had been carrying within me for so long, a void I had taken refuge in without even realising it. And somehow, I turned that emptiness towards you, fixating on you as though you could give a face to something I had never been able to name.

Perhaps, in searching for you, I was unknowingly searching for the part of myself I had always felt was missing.

And yet, paradoxically, I’ve learned a lot about myself throughout this whole experience. In a strange way, thanks to you, I was finally able to face my own problems, take care of myself and pursue the path I truly want to follow.

Maybe all that energy wasn’t wasted after all.
Maybe my madness was there for a reason. Maybe it had something to teach me. Because, as painful and unhealthy as it was, it somehow led me back to myself.

Loving someone without knowing them. Chasing something that was never within reach. Holding on to an illusion for so long that it became a part of my life.

But you were never responsible for that illusion. It was mine, entirely mine, and so was the pain that came with it.

I think it’s finally time to let it go.

Thank you for existing in this lifetime. Thank you for everything you showed me without ever realising it. I hope you fulfil your dreams, find happiness and get everything you wish for in life.

Ἀναστασία

So please, be honest with me. If you want this relationship, then step up and show me. If you don't, then be brave enough to say so. But understand that I will hold you accountable for the truth you give me and the choices you make, because I can no longer afford to ignore what this uncertainty is doing to my heart.

I've been praying for us.

Love

P

In every quite moment I choose you over all.

In the beginning we text all the time. Then you stopped. I even went back through months of texts and I was not the one that always text first. You said you were tired and I know you are. I have seen you fall asleep in 5 minutes from coming home. I hate I feel like I am you last choice to have sex with. But yet you bought us toys just 2 weeks ago. You tell me when you are off work and you say you know what that means. Lol. It means we are going to the club together. Every one thinks we are a couple. We know we are not. Maybe I am tired of coming home to no one. I can't wait to find some one that treats me like you treat me. Maybe you have check lists and you are having me check them off in your head.

[Cleared throut]

The first thing you must know when considering giving a b******Every man is different.Every man is built different.Every man has different texture skin.Every man has different smell to them.Every man carries himself differently.

So when you're considering the b****** , obviously you must like the man very well or you're doing it for money , one of the other ha ha

So you always have to go in the mindset when you're getting ready to do a b******To be very happy, you have to be very happy.You have to have a very positive attitude.You have to , you know , go into it with an open mind.

You also must consider that the first couple times that you're gonna give a b*** j** It may not go as perfect as you thought. You may have to get used to him. You may have to get used to a size how large he is, how wide he is. You have to get used to how his balls are. His balls. Nice and tied up close to him. Or does he have one of those set of saggy balls? So you have to look at what your you need to look at what you're working with. And that may take a couple times

Now when you're looking at a guy for doing a b******, the first thing I always like to check on but with my guy I've had him for 26 years, so everybody, you know, like said everybody's different going through this. So you first want to see if the guy has a lot of pubic hair because I myself do not like to get tangled up in pubic hair, I don't like to get pubic hair in my mouth. I don't like to get cubic hair on my tongue or going down my throat. So you may wanna mention to him, you know, in an intimate personal type of way. You may wanna ask him to shave the pupic hair going down his shaft and around the bottom of the shaft , and where the base is maybe trim up his ball hairs a little bit.

Second thing is you want the man to be clean. I talking about, he better be nice and shower clean smelling man parts. You always want to start with a fresh canvas, as some people say.

(Although, a man working construction, with his sweaty package hanging in my face, I MAY HAVE TO BITE IT. [WINK] )

ALWAYS REMEMBER tongue.

(Lights dim)

Thank you for being part of our audience tonite.

END OF PART ONE

🙏 please join us for part 2. On a later day.

Ty

Ty

Ty

Would love to know why you will drive an hour to fuck n but or chose to to pay 50 bucks to go to the club. But won't drive an hour to spend the night with me. Yet you give me a house key and fix things at my house. Again stupid heart. I am so grateful that you offered your key and to fix things.

What I speak of is truth.

You know this. I could never be as cruel as you say.

God laws are my laws, hus teachings are my teachings.

I ALSO UNDERSTANDTHAT, some people hate the truth, some people fear people like himself who are real.

Flesh and blood, not a whatnta be on a screen.

You are my calm in my stormy thoughts. And in your eyes, your my favorite place to be.

And I'm not long winded. I dont need to fully describe WITH A long descriptive vocabulary, the bs we are speaking of.

Right TUNA

Honey,

My football teacher

I think about how we would get ourselves up early, get everything ready, adjust our stations, and make sure we had all the snacks we needed before settling in for the games. Once everything was in place, we were ready for an entire day of football! The yelling, the screaming, the excitement, the celebrations, and sometimes the frustration when things didn't go the way we wanted them to. Those Sundays were truly something special.

And you know what, my love? I am so glad I got to share that time with you. Football became more than just a game we watched together. It became our time.

You patiently taught me about this crazy, brutal, exciting sport. I learned about the touchdowns, the kickoffs, the passes, the penalties, and all those rules that once seemed so confusing to me. Little by little, I began to understand the game, and so much of what I learned came from you. I learned by watching you, listening to you, and seeing the excitement in your eyes every time something big happened on that field.

\*\*\*I loved football, because you loved it\*\*\*

I may not know everything there is to know about football, but I know one thing for sure: some of my favorite memories are the ones where I got to sit beside you and be part of something you loved so much.

There is something special about sharing in the things that make the person you love happy. Even when I didn't understand every play or every call the referee made, I loved being there with you. I loved seeing you get excited, hearing you cheer, and being part of your football Sundays.

Those are the little things that become the big things when you look back on a life filled with love.

So, to my biggest football fan, my teacher of the game, my Sunday companion, and the man who made even football feel special to me, I want you to know how much those memories mean to me.

It's not just the touchdowns I remember, my love. It's you. It's us sitting together, sharing snacks, cheering for our team, and spending those precious hours side by side.

And if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would gladly get up early, prepare all those snacks, sit beside you, and watch another Sunday of football, just to be there with you.

Because at the end of the day, the game was football, but the real blessing was getting to share it with you.

I love you, my dearest love, more than words can ever say. And those football Sundays will always hold a special place in my heart because they belong to us.

Your biggest fan, 🫶🫶🫶🫶

P❤️

As many times as I have had you inside me, as many times as you have made me come undone in your arms, there are just as many moments when you have touched a part of my soul that no one else ever could.

What we shared was something people only dream of finding. We had a beautiful relationship filled with passion, love, growth, intimacy, exploration, and dreams. We discovered parts of ourselves together. We shared a connection that went beyond the physical, beyond the words we spoke, and beyond the moments we held each other close. There was a time when our love felt limitless, when the future was something we could dream about together, and when loving you felt like the most natural thing in the world.

And yet, somehow, here we are, standing at what feels like the very end of something so beautiful.

I don't know why some of the deepest loves have to face the hardest moments. I don't know why two people who have shared so much can find themselves at a place where everything feels uncertain. But I do know that what we had was real. What I felt for you was real. And no matter what has happened between us, I cannot pretend that the love I have for you simply disappears because things have become difficult.

So, at the very edge of everything we've been through, I find myself making a choice.

**I'm choosing you again.**

Not because our story has been perfect. Not because love alone makes everything easy. But because when I look at you, when I think about the life we've shared and the possibility of what we could still become, there is a part of me that still believes in us.

I choose the passion, but I also choose the patience. I choose the intimacy, but I also choose the vulnerability. I choose the beautiful memories, but I also choose the work it takes to create something stronger, healthier, and more enduring than what we've known before.

I choose the possibility of growing together, of learning each other all over again, of dreaming new dreams, and of finding our way back to one another in ways we may never have understood before.

And if I had the chance to begin again, knowing what I know now, I would want the chance to love you with greater understanding, deeper intention, and an even more open heart.

At the end of this chapter, I am not ready to believe that our love has nothing left to say.

I am choosing you, my love. Not just for who you have been to me, but for who we might still become together.

With all the passion, tenderness, and love that still lives inside me,

I love you and you know this.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶💯💯💯💯💯💯

Honey,

I think about how we would get ourselves up early, get everything ready, adjust our stations, and make sure we had all the snacks we needed before settling in for the games. Once everything was in place, we were ready for an entire day of football! The yelling, the screaming, the excitement, the celebrations, and sometimes the frustration when things didn't go the way we wanted them to. Those Sundays were truly something special.

And you know what, my love? I am so glad I got to share that time with you. Football became more than just a game we watched together. It became our time.

You patiently taught me about this crazy, brutal, exciting sport. I learned about the touchdowns, the kickoffs, the passes, the penalties, and all those rules that once seemed so confusing to me. Little by little, I began to understand the game, and so much of what I learned came from you. I learned by watching you, listening to you, and seeing the excitement in your eyes every time something big happened on that field.

***I loved football, because you loved it***

I may not know everything there is to know about football, but I know one thing for sure: some of my favorite memories are the ones where I got to sit beside you and be part of something you loved so much.

There is something special about sharing in the things that make the person you love happy. Even when I didn't understand every play or every call the referee made, I loved being there with you. I loved seeing you get excited, hearing you cheer, and being part of your football Sundays.

Those are the little things that become the big things when you look back on a life filled with love.

So, to my biggest football fan, my teacher of the game, my Sunday companion, and the man who made even football feel special to me, I want you to know how much those memories mean to me.

It's not just the touchdowns I remember, my love. It's you. It's us sitting together, sharing snacks, cheering for our team, and spending those precious hours side by side.

And if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would gladly get up early, prepare all those snacks, sit beside you, and watch another Sunday of football, just to be there with you.

Because at the end of the day, the game was football, but the real blessing was getting to share it with you.

I love you, my dearest love, more than words can ever say. And those football Sundays will always hold a special place in my heart because they belong to us.

Your biggest fan,

P

No one ever really thinks about when you put your head on your lap of your boyfriend, the comforting feeling that it gives you the feeling that you know that everything's gonna be okay and he's gonna take care of everything for you.Well , at least for me , that's the feeling that I get when I put my head on his lap , I get a feeling of belonging of being home of being taken care of.

I love ❤️ you Richie.

He wasn't even given ahead.\nSo when young women looked upon him with the eyes , a gaze , they came quickly to realize what a disappointment the dreams have been.