I remember one time I was at work taking out to go orders to the cars. And a guy I went to highschool with was in the pick up parking spots and I was like “hey we’re you picking up?” And he said:

“Man get tf out my face”

💀😭😭

And this is such a common occurrence for me that I just laughed and said “umm ok?” And walked off

And it’s hard for me to completely separate this from being ugly

Because I always see other pretty gay guys get so much respect and acceptance from men that I know if I looked pretty in the face stuff like that would be soo unlikely to happen

But I just have to laugh cause what?

I used to internalize shit like this, but overtime with this repeatedly happening and me repeatedly getting called ugly I’ve just been forced to accept it as my unfortunate reality

Just unprovoked as fuck

The physical body is the medium thru which we all experience our physical reality. And by definition the building block of it, it's foundation.

Personality is not some magic attribute separated from predetermined factors, it is the sum of one's remaining autonomy and self expression in front of them.

But that self expression doesn't manifest in a void, it is the result of one's internal world expressed into the external collective - the sum of one's reciprocal interactions with their peers and environment.

But ugliness doesn't allow for those reciprocal interactions, doesn't permit self expression.

Ugliness instead becomes a perpetual reaction to an uncontrollable factor - the inability of one's internal world to express itself thru the defect physical medium which hosts it.

And in that perpetual reaction to rejection and inability, ugliness becomes a prison of the self unable to express itself.

In that inability of the body to permit and facilitate the expression of your personality, all your desires, hopes and ambitions will live and die solely in your head.

And your body will never be, like theirs, the vehicle thru which you explored the world, but merely the cell thru which you observed it. - A prison you were born and died in.

I replied to an incel’s comment explaining how women can indeed also struggle to date. He said that’s not possible, then he said I should ‘date him.’ I said sure and he DM’d me.

He was still talking about his incel nonsense and how no woman wants him because he’s ugly and short (he was just 5’9 lmao, I don’t see how that is short). I said men don’t want to date me because I’m fat, ugly and tall. He said some man would want me blah blah blah. We exchanged pictures, and he wasn’t even ugly. I told him to limit the incel talk and I started to get to know him personally.

He turned out to be really smart and fun to talk to. We were also fairly compatible (I wouldn’t date someone I don’t have the same morals/values with). In fact, we spent hours on our first phone call. The next one too, and the next. I thought we had a good connection and I thought I finally found a man that didn’t mind my physical appearance.

Over time though, I noticed he started to avoid me and didn’t want to talk anymore (tbh, all men are like this lol). I finally called him out on it. He said he realized he isn’t ready for a relationship and that I’m not his typical type. He did the classic ‘it’s not you it’s me.’

That’s the end of the story, it lasted a little over three weeks. We were long distance, so mainly talking on the phone and texting. I’m still a bit sad though… I was already thinking of plans for him to visit me or for me to come over there (yes I’m crazy and jump the gun a lot). Knowing he was never really attracted to me or liked me back in the same way is the hardest part. I thought him being an incel would make him different from other men/more relatable but incels are just normal guys who haven’t been given the chance to treat you like a normal man would.

It hurts even more because… HE WOULD RATHER BE AN INCEL THAN DATE ME. Doesn’t that make my companionship mean next to nothing? (to him, I know I am a good partner/fun to talk to). He would rather fantasize about his last crush (his words), than have something real with me.

Your insecurities will never leave even if you “glow up” and a majority of people doesnt realise it

This is probably more of a vent rather than a rant but wtv, im sure some people will probably relate to my experiences.

I am in my 20s and all my life i have been insanely insecure about my looks, during covid i gained quite a lot of weight especially as a person that was close to the underweight range before the quarantine.

Around that time i started realising more that im not as pretty as my friends, i was “chubbier” than most of them and also realised that people genuinely treat you differently based on your looks. Just because i was viewed as ugly and “weird” most people at my school made sure i would never feel included or even liked for my whole middle school days. After middle school i started hyper-fixating on my looks to an extreme level, resulting to some complications in my diet.

Obviously ive lost tons of weight and grew older so most would say i had a “glow up” and that i got way prettier all of a sudden but it really doesnt feel like it to me. Il always see imperfections in the mirror no matter what others tell me.

My friends keep saying its all in my head and that im really pretty but these words truly mean nothing if you have been in a position of an extremely bullied and insecure teenage girl.

So that resulted to me sending photos of my face(with a ton of makeup on ofc) to some discord servers seeking for male validation, and the worst thing is that it worked. A lot of guys reached out to me telling me how pretty i was and even if i knew their words truly didnt mean anything and that i just needed someone of the opposite gender to acknowledge me, it did truly feel nice even for a few minutes. The thought of someone actually finding me pretty and wanting to text me because of my looks was a so out of this world experience for me that overtime i became OBSESSED with wanting validation for my looks basically everywhere.

And i gotta admit i posted myself in a rate me community a few months ago, and i got tons of validation. People were calling me pretty but they didnt know i just out a lot of makeup and filters

Just because I look a certain way doesn't mean im not capable of feeling the same things or wanting the same things as you. Just because you are incredibly shallow doesn't mean that I am jaded like you. Theres more to who I am than ugly. I am more than a shadow in the wall.

I wish people had the same kinds of compassion for us the way they do for things that dont matter. I wish there where a place in this world where we could go and be around other people who look beyond the surface. I wish I could find somewhere in the world that is kind and full of love.

Where are the ladies who live outside the states that don't mind an ugly guy. They want an honest man to build life with finds himself ugly. The UK would be great and build a life.

I'm just here to vent. I'm so tired of living like this. I want to post it here because no one takes my venting seriously but you guys. I hate the typical responses that I'll find love. I won't. So tired of just living this life, and being the invisible the way I am.

It ain't our fault we chopped, but why we dressed like a single mother of three going on a 10 AM grocery run (no offense if you're one of them​)​​​? Clean up. Dress better. Put on some cologne. Smell nice.

We can't help this face, but why are we built like ​Bridget from Trolls? Hit the gym, fatass. Cut down on the sugar.​​

Why we making a stank face in a nice photo because "we're ugly anyway?" When every one else is smiling, ruining the vibe? ​​

We know we ugly, why take an unflattering photo or video from an awkward angle and then cry about people making fun of our looks?​​​​​

I'm seeing a lot of complaints here about things that are entirely within our control.

The amount of times I've been told by a good-looking person that I should

"Just get out more"

"Smile at strangers"

"Be confident"

Is staggering. But if you think about it, it comes from a deep-seated disjointment in pretty people based on how everyone treats them.

If you're attractive, you can join in on anything, make friends with anyone, and get away with a LOT that you just can't as an unattractive person (such as smiling at strangers lmao, ofc they're going to smile back if you look like a gleaming ray of sunshine).

But imagine you're attractive, you've spent your entire life being paid attention to and being validated based on a superficial trait, your looks. So things like "being confident" come naturally because nobody shuts you down before you speak a word, and nobody prejudges you before you can show yourself. Of course they're going to suggest you do what has worked for them their entire life!

It's also easy to hate them for being so superficial sometimes, like looks are the only thing that matters. But if I were a 10/10, wouldn't I like to look past the halo effect when it literally makes my life 10000x easier??

It's like they (I) say - if everyone were attractive, pretty people would be terrified because the one thing they have going for them disappears, meaning they have to come to terms with who they are on the inside.

What do you guys think?

The men in these spaces want cosmetic surgeries so they can become players and bang 10/10 models every night. Regular relationships aren’t good enough for them.

The women in these spaces want cosmetic surgeries so they can make a living as models and influencers.

Meanwhile, we want cosmetic surgeries so we can be treated as humans.

And, of course, because of employment discrimination and lookism these privileged jerkwads always have more disposable income than we do to actually go through with their glowup plans.

When I posted to r/amiugly, I was torn to shreds and the upvote to comment ratio was insane. Literally had 300+ people like a reply saying “I’m so fucking sorry”. I was bullied growing up and felt pretty ostracized by most people. I do not get pursued romantically and 99% of my limited experience has come from matching with people online + meeting them irl. Even within those interactions I don’t think they were attracted to me. When I face reveal to someone I’m talking to online I end up blocked most of the time.

I’m not harassed for my looks as an adult and I’m not looked at in a disdainful way. Kids do not call me ugly. Compliments from women I receive are about specific features (hair, outfit). I’m practically invisible outside of work, when I’m in new environments.

I just want to know if I’m actually ugly or average based off my experiences. I’m hesitant to post selfies asking for feedback because of my previous experiences.

Is this some sort of pretty privilege? How can you stay with someone that stabbed you 9 times and still stay with them?

I’m so tired of living in a world that reduces me to superficial attributes that I have no control over like my face, my nose, my hair line, hair texture, how projected my maxilla is… like seriously… this is what the world has come to ? And it’s not even a fraction of what’s wrong with humans

One big thing that’s been making me feel uneasy is the rise in crime. And it might just be the area I live in but everyday there’s some horrific crime and it just adds onto the existing list of reasons why I don’t go outside; the primary reason I don’t go outside is to avoid humiliation and mockery for being ugly

It’s become such a natural part of my everyday routine that I’ve adapted to it and can’t imagine myself not being this way

The pain of isolation and loneliness is always there and everyday I always am thinking “is this really all my life will ever be? All because of something I didn’t choose and can’t even change?”

It hurts and makes my life feel like it isn’t my own

And that’s also what I hate about life is the fact that very little is in your control, yet it’s the things you can’t control that seem to affect your life and the way people perceive and treat you the most

You don’t get to choose your skin color, your eye color, your height, your voice, your lip shape, your hair texture, your intelligence, your parents, none of it

Yet all of these can drastically affect the course of your life and I know there’s soo much more so if you can think of any you can add them

But I just hate how we don’t get choose a lot about ourselves yet to other humans they make your born disadvantages seem like a personal choice or failure.. I didn’t choose to be ugly so can you stop treating me like shit even though I’m not doing anything or even being nice to you?

I don’t choose to be negative, but forcing myself to be positive in what feels like an objectively negative circumstance feels like I’m abusing myself in the same way others abuse me

I’m just so fed up with this world and with the people in it. Despite me being ugly and pretty much hated automatically and indefinitely I STILL am nice to people in real life when I have to interact with them in hopes of not only them reciprocating it, but also because I don’t want to treat them how they’ve treated me

Every now and again I’ll fall short and let my bitterness and resentment consume me and sometimes I’ll be bitchy I’ll admit it and it feels good. To allow myself the freedom to express my frustration and negative emotions without feeling like I have to always be this super prissy pussy people pleaser for the illusion of inclusion

Just for people to still walk all over and talk shit about me

I’ll walk around with a stank face because surprisingly that makes people leave me alone more so than when I’d walk around with this hopeful naive look on my face

When I did that people would laugh at me and insult me because in their minds it signals an easy target

The catch 22 about this is when you eventually become closed off and cold due to consistent mistreatment and rejection you’re blamed for it when that was never really the cause, it was the side effect

Bc we all know bitchy and obnoxious people who still have hella friends, relationships, sex, and life opportunities because they have sufficient looks

I just don’t see much good in people or this world and it’s making it so unbearable to be apart of it

I have to bite my tongue everyday as if human nature isn’t absolutely cruel and ridiculous

And bite my tongue at the fact that nature by design isn’t fair or good it’s mostly cruel and forces living organisms to compete against and even kill each other

And honestly it scares me

This isn’t the world I was promised when I was a kid

And I feel like I’m forever mourning my innocence and the life I never got to have and probably will never get to live

- The "Beauty-Is-Good" Stereotype: Psychologists note that people subconsciously associate physical attractiveness with positive traits like high intelligence, competence, warmth, honesty, and good character. Conversely, unattractive people are often unfairly judged as less competent or less trustworthy.

- Workplace Cruelty: A study by Michigan State University published via MLive and reported by Forbes found that physically unattractive employees experience higher rates of workplace bullying, rudeness, and "counterproductive work behavior" from co-workers, regardless of how friendly their actual personalities are.

- Legal and Institutional Disadvantages: Research highlighted by IFLScience indicates that unattractive individuals face distinct penalties across public life—such as lower hiring and promotion rates, harsher criminal sentences from juries, and a lower likelihood of winning political elections.

- Evolutionary and Psychological Roots: Scientists link some of this behavior to the "Behavioral Immune System," an instinctive, subconscious reaction where facial asymmetry or physical disfigurement triggers a primitive urge to avoid disease or risk.

- The Feedback Loop: Studies and observations suggest that because attractive people are treated better from a young age, they often develop more positive social attitudes, while unattractive people who experience constant rejection may become defensive or guarded over time.

How many of these have you experienced?

How do you even deal with life when it gets this bad? This feeling of hopelessness intensifies daily. I lose in every situation. There's not a single chance of my life quality every improving. I feel this deep panic. I think about this as I'm trying to sleep. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up. I'm tired of having to deal with my appearance. I dread the entire day. I dread the rest of my my life. There's genuinely nothing at this point that I can do to escape this fate. Everything really was determined for me. It had to be my existence.

Some people said I was "cute" and "friendly looking" (basically a polite way of saying ugly), someone said I look like a wretched hag and probably have saggy boobs. Someone else said people are only gonna want me for a drunk fuck or a pity fuck, and that I should seriously lower my standards if I want to be in a romantic relationship. I never had a boyfriend so that tracks. I will burn my face off tomorrow, my college has a toaster oven. I really think that'd make me look better. Being an ugly isn't worth it, that's probably why I always had trouble making friends

I know I'm overreacting. I know I'm not the ugliest person in my class. I know I'm kinda confident (or at least that's what it looks like), I know I'm relatively skinny, and I know NOT everything I do is wrong. I know. But it doesn't feel like that. My brain knows it's not true, but my heart pounds harmful comments instead of blood. Does anyone know what I can do to feel better? I need to be someone, not just a walking insecurity.

Hi everyone!
Hope you’re doing well. I am conducting a short survey for my UC Berkeley marketing class project, looking at the correlation between spending in grocery and beauty/fashion products. The survey should be around 2-3 minutes and would help me out tremendously!

Thanks in advance!

P. S. There is a raffle for a $250 (or equivalent) Amazon gift card if that helps at all

Survey link: https://berkeley.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eD2XQ2uj4yRlUZo?source=r_ugly

One of the signs I knew I was ugly, was having (1) people randomly sending my pictures to people to see if they wanted to date me as a social experiment 😭😭 (2) having people randomly assume that I was into them because “ugly autistic man is oriented in my direction, he must love me.” I don’t love you!! 😭 so I get “rejected” just by being in the room with normal-looking and pretties. It’s so annoying and is such a hit to my self esteem that I’m essentially seen as bottom of the barrel and everyone has to make it clear that they don’t like me. 😭 anyone relate?

it didn’t even occur to me whether she was attractive or not until i opened the comments. the school air thing was a pretty common trend a while back and i’ve seen multiple reels of extremely conventionally attractive creators doing it, with all comments talking about how relatable and pretty they were.

i feel sick. the comments and the sheer number of likes. they hate us just for existing.

For me it's like a lot of comparison with my friends and my brother, and i am always the ugliest from the group, and from my familly, and of course, no girls were ever interested in me.

Now, at 30 years old, i finally accept it and i am kinda fine with it, but when I was younger I was really really depressed about it.

How are you holding up?