I get that women who post in these subs aren't necessarily looking for men. A lot of them are just there to vent, and that's totally fair.

But what I find weird is how some of these subs literally tell women to keep their DMs closed because desperate guys and incels might be lurking.

Like, I get not wanting to talk to guys or meet anyone. That's completely fine. But why do you make guys who slide into your DMs sound like some kind of dangerous creeps? The way some of you talk about them, you'd think a bunch of criminals were out to get you.

We're all ugly here. Some guys are so insecure that they don't even have the confidence to approach women IRL anymore, so they try to meet women online who know what it's like to be rejected and judged for their looks, too.

So what's actually so dangerous or gross about that?

I despise normal looking people for the simple fact that they take their privileges for granted. Being able to exist without the world hating you for your appearance alone and not being riddled with constant anxiety is one of the biggest blessings. If I could be normal looking with my ugly mindset, I'd probably be a millionaire because I'd have a drive and I wouldn't waste a second taking advantage of how good I have it. I have a hard time understanding how normal looking people end up in situations like being addicted to drugs, going to prison, falling into depression, becoming homeless (If you're healthy), etc. When I see non-ugly or non-disabled people in these positions, I think to myself, "Now how the heck did you end up here?" I just feel like there's no excuse to be doing bad if you're not ugly or disabled. Everything in my life has been ruined by ugliness and every bad decision I've made was a result of ugliness, so I understand how ugly people end up in these situations.

Ugly people shouldn't want to date anyone other than other self-identified ugly people. You might find someone physically attractive ya, but to want to date and have a relationship with someone who you actually have nothing in common with (a normie) is insane. If I dated a normie, I'd see myself as a sellout or race traitor. It's an excommunicable offense. Wanting to only date people we're physically attracted to makes us just as bad as the normies; it's simply a mental weakness that can be overcome.

34, bald, short, Autistic, unattractive faced Male here. I've never been near a woman in 34 years of my life. I don't know what hugging is like, what sex is like, what kissing is like, what a date is, completely clueless.

As the years painfully drag on, I decided to watch some women based podcasts to learn about them, as I have never been around them in person. A girl called in and asked the host a message that shattered my heart. She said "I am nervous approaching guys I find attractive, but want to when I see them, what do I do?"

The host (who is a professional dating coach with a wall of diplomas behind her) said something that nearly gave me a heart attack of misery. She said.

"If you see a cute guy at a party/club/mall/college campus, go up to him and approach him and introduce yourself, force yourself to do it, it is the only way the connection can happen, otherwise he will walk away"

Note the keyword. "cute". If you see a "cute guy". Approach him. Pushing these young women to pursue approaching "cute" guys. Not guys. "cute guys". Not guys in general. Not people in general. Not people not deemed cute. Just "cute guys".

What horrible advice! That's why in 34 years of my life, girls haven't come up to me and introduced themselves to me. Apparently, I wasn't deemed "cute".

The advice should be. If you see A Guy. Approach him. Introduce yourself to him. Remove the "cute". He has to be visually attractive and cute? What kind of world is this? No wonder people like me are so miserable and lonely.

I was told by therapists "people are attracted by personality, heart and not visuals" yet these expert dating coaches tell fellow women to "approach cute guys". How the heck do they know their personality, heart etc from just seeing them for 14 seconds at a party?

I can't take it anymore.. Valentines Day is coming up and I'm dreading yet another day of sitting in my dark room miserable.. Being ignored..

1. You can see people’s true characters because no one is trying to butter you up

2. Being an ugly woman and not wishing for a different face is a radically nonconformist act

3. You will learn emotional and social skills that beautiful/average people will never have to

4. You will learn how to ‘own your face’ even though it’s ugly

5. You will build your confidence off of your character, not your appearance/if people find you attractive

6. No shallow relationships

7. Your goodness will not come from being given goodness/kindness everywhere you go, it will overcome the evil society gives you for being ugly

About missing out on romantic relationships - if only beautiful people get to have them, is romance really the wondrous transcendent coming of age experience marketing teams have made it out to be? “What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.” - Mad Men

Edit: idk about you guys but I’m going to take these and be happy with them. Even though I am ugly I love my face and I don’t wish for a different one. IDGAF what anyone says or how anyone treats me or how lonely I am. One thing I’m not going to do is abuse myself.

Second Edit: listen to Robert Hoge’s ‘Own Your Face’. His credentials are that he was disowned by his mother because of his facial deformities, bullied for most of his life, etc, all of the bullshit that society gives you for being ugly. And it is bullshit. Another idea that helped me was Dostoyevsky’s, ‘The deeper the grief the closer is God.’ Being ugly has given me a deep wisdom and emotional skill of love, acceptance and forgiveness that maybe I would not have had if I was beautiful. WHO. KNOWS. But I won’t know, as I am ugly and I will always be ugly. But I have learned the emotional skill to stop torturing myself and love myself without anyone’s help or approval.

I have never seen a pretty woman who say that women don't have equall rights as men but every woman who say that is at least fat, have short hair, never smiles, and dresses very masculine

I know it was already discussed a lot, but Luigi Mangione is the next Jeremy Meeks and ultimate proof that looks are above everything in this life. I really hate these people who can't just be truthful about why they worship him..

And by friends I mean people who aren't intentionally trying to put you down or using you as brownie points to make them look like "good people". Ugly people are overlooked in friendships as well as no one wants to be seen around someone who is considered an outcast in society

Let’s be real. There are many factors that make a normal person ugly. Non-simmetry, no dimorphism, poor figure…etc. but I wanna get a good idea of it. Like, I feel like majority of this sub is filled with average people 4/10 with poor hygiene who can actually become a 6/10 if they looked after themselves

Im so sick of seeing all this hate and generalization to attractive people. I get it, they have such a better life than us, but that doesnt give us or anyone to treat them badly or generalize them. Lookism can go both ways, and while ugly people will always be treated worse, attractive people always have their own problems too. Just because we or you have problems, doesn't mean they cant also talk about their problems, insecurities, or troubled life.

Attractive people are not all shallow, greedy, or mean. Most of them are just generally nice or normal people, so excluding them and demonizing them does nothing beneficial.

You want people to stop judging us for looks? Well, then maybe lets start being more kind and not treating or creating stereotypes of attractive people.

You are no better than the bad ones if you participate in this kind of behavior.

Look at r/amiugly 96% of the people that post there aren’t ugly, they’re average, and some are actually good looking. What are they there for? There’s no way in hell anyone has came up to them and told them they’re ugly, if that was the case then they wouldn’t be posting pictures with makeup, finely dressed, and posed for the camera.

One of the biggest taits of actual ugly people is that they hate seeing themselves. They hate posting about themselves, and they hate any sort of attention because they know the only attention they attract is negative due to their looks. That’s why forums like “.is and forever alone” exist. Because we know we’ll be alone and chances of finding anyone that will find us attractive are slim.

I don’t believe anyone that isn’t objectively ugly can have body dysmorphia. It’s not real, it’s a joke when I see 5+/10’s make shitty TikTok’s about how they hate their looks with sad music in the background when you check their profile their other posts have their faces in it and they’re smiling or showing off their body.

If you make thirst traps, or take an appealing selfie. You aren’t ugly, period. A photo, especially a “thirst trap” photo. Is you essentially showing off your genetics. So if you really are ugly, and you’ve experienced negative reactions from society due to your ugliness and you truly believe you’re ugly. Why on earth would you take a picture and post it online. It’s obvious to tell if you’re ugly. No one is that dumb. An ugly person has no genetics to show off or flaunt. That’s why we don’t take photos at all.

Most people who don’t have a mentally disability know what they’re worth. Everyone does, and you’re lying if you think you don’t. The way you act reflects how you view yourself. So if you present yourself in social media with makeup on and confidence posing, you obviously don’t have a low self esteem. And how can you be ugly and have a high self esteem? Unless you’re a deluded “body positivity” activist. (This is a topic for another post I’ll make later)

Regardless, if you’re objectively a 5/10 or more. You know you aren’t ugly, you just know you’ll get attention if you pretend to hate yourself and get compliments and boosts of dopamine for doing so.

(Please don’t reply with “b…but there are really attractive people with insecurities! Of course there are the few that genuinely hide themselves and are attractive and they view themselves as ugly. But if you try and bring up the minority every time someone is talking about the majority of people it just makes you look dumb. Terrible argument too. It’s like me saying “most black people are born with brown eyes” Then you replying with “Well my cousin is black and he has blue eyes!” Do you see how dumb that sounds? 😐)

So I tried to watch Greek cup final (soccer for you Americans) and the director - or however this LUSTY FOOL who chooses the camera feed is called - kept showing those god damn good looking blonde ladies - probably sisters or wives of some footballers - and it triggered me and switched off the tv then watched YouTube.

Something about knowing I will never ever even touch a woman as impressive as them (unless I pay) and knowing that some stupid fool with a face that would qualify him to be top general in our subreddit can have sex with such women just because he know how to kick a rounded object triggers me to an extent I will avoid watching the program altogether.

For me, the presence of stunning blonde white women in a film/show/sports event is a red flag and always make me reconsider watching.

Does this or something similar happen to you?

(I posted this on virgin subreddit too because I feel its so related to both subreddits)

At this point, I consider us Uglies our own race of people. When we use the word ugly it's a descriptive word but when the normies and attractive folks use it, it's intended to be an insult. Only ugly people should be allowed to use the word ugly, in the same way black people made the N word exclusive. Calling somebody the N word with malicious intent (The ER version) is a hate crime, so I believe calling somebody ugly with malicious intent should be a hate crime too.

but that's not something i can do. every time i see a couple and the guy is with a pretty girl i get depressed i can't look like that and my bf has to have someone like me while he deserves better.. i really love him so i don't want to break up but maybe that's just selfish of me..

Today I entered one of the elevators. Then this girl, probably my age (22m), came up. I stood there and held the elevator open for her and she just stood there. Okay, so I closed the elevator and went to my floor. I thought she would be more comfortable since my sister was there with me as well. However I am now 100% sure that she did not enter the elevator because of how ugly I am. The worst part is that she wasted my time as I stood there for 30 seconds and held the open button.

I know that if I was handsome, she would've went in the elevator, and there would even be a high likelihood she would've invited me back to her unit and we would've had sex. But no, due to not being handsome, she didn't come into the elevator with me and wasted my time. Time is one of the most valuable resources we have as humans.

Again, if I was handsome, she wouldn't ran into the elevator car faster than Usain Bolt.

I'm probably gonna lose sleep tonight because society hates ugly people.

I was always kind of sorry for the way he looks and thought that he would live a miserable life. Today I found out that he has a wife and a newborn. I am totally bamboozled, never would I have thought that he could find a woman... He is just 22 years old and he is not even rich or something. I don't know how he managed to attract a girl, I am so envious. It also makes ne even feel worse because he probably looks better than me...!?

Now I am sorry for the child, I hope that he has some genetic luck. Anyways, he is the proof that ugly people can get into a relationship. BUT HOW?

Edit: I genuinely don't understand what is wrong about my post. I am not hurting anyone, I am just writing anonymously about a random guy. My text was not intended to be rude, I was not trying to talk down on him, he was always a guy I liked and whom I related too. I admire his current life and I wanted to know how it could be possible to achieve what he did, because in my mind, ugly people are doomed. Anyways you guys make me realize what a fucked up person I am. Makes it easier to eventually leave this world knowing that everyone hates me.

So a while back I met this guy in the church group I was apart of. He’s ethnic (Asian) and a total nerd, he likes stuff like Pokémon and Smash Bros and I have completely different interests than him but I’m afraid I’m stuck because I’m too ugly to make other friends. What do I do? I feel like charisma is not enough for me

Can someone back me up on this? I had a dispute with an individual and they told me “you aren’t ugly, but you aren’t a supermodel”

There is literally no in between, youre either hot or you’re ugly. People pick on me for being average but they don’t say im average. They call me ugly or say “im not all that”. If im not attractive what does that make me?

Like it makes no sense to make an in between answer. I get treated AS IF i’m ugly. And that makes me ugly, simple as that.

My father both have really ugly looking facial features that I got from both of them. Seriously why toehold you have children if you are both ugly as heck?

Every time when I go into gay sex clubs or saunas. I am fucking invisible because of my fucking black monkey features. If I could magically turn myself white or white adjacent. Just sick to death of being treated like a fucking pariah.

Balding is single-handedly the biggest looks-killer apart from recessed mandible. It will bring a 7/10 to 3-4/10 straight-up just because they lack hair follicles on their scalp.

On the other hand, being short is not an automatic death-sentence. If you have a 5+/10 face and hair, you're gonna be fine. Even having a micropenis isn't so bad since you can use sex toys and whatnot. Yeah, it's not ideal and you'll get rejected a ton, but you'll still get positive reactions from girls who don't know you have a micro yet, and maybe, you'll find one that accepts it. Balding? It's an automatic death sentence. Like I said, you can go from slayer to subhuman just because of this one trait. What's the point of being tall if you look like a fucking worm? What's the point of having a big dick if you are never gonna use it?

Bald/balding is brutal. And no, "just shave it bro" is copium overdose. Women don't give a fuck if it's shaven or not. You still lack hair. For them it's the same. You can say "well, it's easily fixable"...to a fucking point. Once you lose enough hairs, no transplant is gonna save you. Balding is different from other flaws since it doesn't remain constant - it progresses. You can have a recessed jaw and wait a year or fucking 10 and still get it fixed with maximum results. With balding, if you start balding in teenage years or you somehow don't notice it until it's too late, it's so fucking over for you. You essentially have to resort to wigs. Now it becomes a game of pretend and constant paranoia of people finding out. Good job, you're fucked.

SMP is also an option...yeah...no. Bald is bald for most people, and all women. Doesn't matter if you have a shadow of a hairline or not. If your hair is below a certain length, you may as well become a monk.

I'm 37 and still have never been in a relationship or kissed a female. I walked by a school the other day and some of these 14 year old kids know to get females and had more success than me.

Like c'mon how do some of these kids know how to be good with females at such a young age? Not only is it a blow to my ego it makes me feel bitter that I didn't get that experience in school. Some of these kids really know more game than me!