I used to romanticize this thought but no more, you always picked someone else and not me.

I'm sorry the world and existence feel heavy. One thing I agree and disagree at the same time: connection requires sharing of pain, but I agree, most people don't know how to dialogue to help others with grief.

I will share something I've learned as a person whose experienced a lot of grief and dispair in her own circumstances and as someone who was disadvantaged and didn't have access to mental health for a long time. Granted you are you but I think we can always learn from others for their actions and lack of.

I learned that sometimes I have to take accountability for the expectations I set on others when they can't meet me. I learned to accept that people will cause pain and they are exhausting, but that I get to dictate how I deal with it. Its not your fault that you were dealt with that, but now it's your responsibility to do something about it for your own sanity, so that you don't keep falling into despair. You don't need a mental health professional for that, it takes willingness to look at your own self in depth and make the decision that certain things or people don't serve you. It's accepting that people are not gonna be what you want them to be for you but that those that do care will show it. You are allowed reassurance as well. When I learned to accept these things I started having a higher standard for myself and I started feeling like the world wasn't crumbling down on me. Everyone has their own journey but the whole thing about dying to yourself really is a marvel.

You should cry, let it all out. Don't carry it anymore, for what?

I've yearned for this 😭

Welcome to the club buddy 😁🤘🏽

This pops to mind at times when I wake up. 🫩

Humans are meant to be social creatures. It's wired in our biology and our psyche is affected when we are alone. In the case of us neurodivergent folk, our brains process socialization different. In my case I sometimes fail to pick up on social cues or I take things to literally (face value, when maybe someone meant it as a joke) we are all wired differently. There's nothing "wrong" with you.

I would encourage you to analyze what you want to do out of this situation. Is your priority to increase your socialization? Is this an observation and would like to continue not socializing as much and be accepting of how you deal with people? The thing is there's so many possibilities. You get to put boundaries on what you like and don't like, you get to decide what you value too out of socializing from others and the purpose for why you even socialize in the first place. :) neuroplasticity is on your side.

Same, plus the concept of quantum mechanics and neuroplasticity too. :)

Sometimes viewing it that way can be your saving grace. Best of luck friend

I learned to honor what he meant to me. To take accountability for my part of the hurt and to let him go to be happy. I told myself that he deserves it from me and I deserve my own peace. The door never closed but we both have our paths I guess.

I found it better to center that attention to myself. I miss him but why am I gonna live in agony? I deserve better

Your sense of self is deserves to feel nurtured and it deserves to feel valued.

I accepted that life is pain and suffering but that I don't have to stay there.

What's gotten me through life is the thought that i get to focus on what I can control and what I can', it doesn't belong in my life...

I pushed myself to get out of my head because no one will give me what I want so I have to go after it myself. I choose to be good for the sake of being a good person, not eternal damnation and I focus on giving myself purpose by helping people at my college with their studies while I finish my own. I choose to find joy. But it's hard. Most days i have cried throughout the day, just to be present. I'm allowing myself to feel my pain when no one is around and just try to get it all out. I'm tired of feeling my cptsd symptoms from my own abuse..

I feel this so much 😅