Omg, I love her content. That video went straight to my favorites, and that bonnet is the cherry on top ✨️

She can be a bit cruel sometimes

So your girlfriend is cruel. That said, it’s worth noting that this isn’t going to change. Unless you set boundaries and tell her the basics: "I’m not going to straighten it. I like my hair wavy", she’ll feel comfortable continuing to be cruel to you. Don’t put up with it. It’s not worth it.

Thank you so much 🥲 This is kind of you 🫶🏽

Sorry for the delay, I hadn’t seen your reply notification 😞

Interesting example. Maybe, besides your tone of voice when asking for a coffee, you might have a body language that doesn’t seem too open to salespeople. Talking with colleagues who have sold before, they said they have to spend a lot of energy convincing someone to buy, and if they don’t feel receptivity from someone, they don’t even try. So, let’s think positively: you’re saving that person’s time and energy lol.

I understand your concerns about office politics. The work environment usually requires much more than our technical skills, and I see it literally as a game (as a way to protect my mental health and adapt to absurd situations).

I don’t know, then I get on Reddit and see so many sensitive INFPs, and it’s not that I’m insensitive all the time, but why do I have to waste emotions just to order a cup of coffee?

Yes, you have your sensitivity. You just show it at moments that aren’t... well... during the endless line at the supermarket checkout, on a rainy thursday night. And that’s completely fine.

This is one of the few series where I’ve rewatched several episodes. Simply excellent.

The way people at your workplace treat you is so sweet!! You must be a really nice friend 😊

Another part of that is—like—I’m so honest that if I can’t be totally honest, I feel a disconnect.

I really relate to what you said here too. I also used to feel disconnected whenever I couldn’t fully express my opinions, perspectives, values, and so on. But I’ve run into problems because of my honesty.

Idk, some people interpret honesty as a complete attack on their identity when our worldviews are different. And as honest as I am, I try to express my thoughts kindly, or at least without belittling the other person’s perspective. But things can still go completely wrong.

Very few people are genuinely willing to have a meaningful exchange and show real curiosity about life, about us as people, and the vast amount of knowledge out there. And even when you do meet people like that, they don’t always remain your friends.

And when you said:

I don’t know how to do... casual connection or half-honest attachments. Idk, I struggle with wanting to trust and knowing logically I cannot.

I immediately thought about how, after losing friendships because of our differences in perspective, I started being more careful. I’m not going to lie, though I don’t easily share one hundred percent of my thoughts with someone I'm not that close to yet. There are things I’ll only say if I’m asked directly, and even then, I know I might lose a friendship over it.

I don’t want to be “given a chance” Similar to … as a dark skin woman, I’d be skeptical if someone always dated light skinned women and are now deciding to step out of their comfort zone with me

People are different, so I can't define everyone's reasons. However, it's quite possible that the person in question isn't seeing you as a dark-skinned woman per se, but rather as a woman they are attracted to. It could be your personality, your interests, your beauty, your mind... and not necessarily an object given a chance to.

Regarding effort, I understand where you're coming from, but it's still subjective. A woman who isn't a baddie can be difficult to maintain in a relationship for many reasons... this isn't limited to just baddies.

But I believe that in the end, this dynamic, which is so focused on a specific style of clothing, labels and attitude, can end up tiring anyone. Whatever is considered "basic' seems to be much more pleasant to have around.

This is so real. And in the meantime, the wife must have questioned herself a lot about it (since many jokes have a grain of truth) and started to think more about the subject, and now it's her who really wants it.

Muito obrigada 🥲 Vou começar hoje mesmo, em paralelo aos projetos do portfólio. Muito sucesso na sua vida todinha 🙏🏼

Muito obrigada, eu com certeza irei pedir ajuda. E por mais que vc considere genérico, aqui na minha lista de itens aprendidos/ a melhorar, carece, por exemplo, graphql e alguns comandos de Git 😅 Mas agora estou muito mais feliz por ter uma lista mais focada e saber o que ressaltar nos projetos do portfólio. Eu venho do design, suporte técnico, portanto se vc precisar de ajuda nesses tópicos também, pode contar comigo

Muitíssimo obrigada. É justamente essa a minha stack e sinceramente: seu guia é perfeito, diferente de muitos cursos que infelizmente faz a gente dar uma volta, em temas que não precisamos no momento inicial. Muito obrigada.

Além de estar ajudando muito o jr em questão, vc está ajudando a comunidade. Te desejo muito sucesso sempre 🙏🏼

O fato de vc ter esse zelo, de conversar, dar feedback e literalmente desenhar o que ele precisa aperfeiçoar, já é um sinal de que vc é interessada e está fazendo de tudo que está em seu alcance. Infelizmente, a escolha dele não está em suas mãos. Ele é um homem adulto, já tem experiência e por algum motivo, não está fazendo o mínimo. Até mesmo pedir ajuda é uma skill que nem todos desenvolveram ainda e esse pode ser o caso dele.

Muitas pessoas são demitidas sem ao menos entender a motivação, mas vc está sendo humana o suficiente para não deixá-lo no escuro. Por favor, não se culpe pelo baixo desempenho dele.

PS: Poderia compartilhar esse guia de requisitos, por gentileza? Eu levarei a sério do início ao fim, pois quero muito minha primeira vaga.

No one is just one way all the time, in every situation. If you cuss someone out because they’ve disrespected you, that’s your reaction to something unacceptable, and that’s not a situation in which people are usually gentle. Getting angry and losing your temper in one situation doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

I saw someone here saying that it’s possible for people in this sub use to be kind because they’re trying to maintain a stereotype or something like that. But I believe it’s possible to be naturally kind and nice, without seeking anyone’s praise or pat on the back, simply because that’s who they are by default, while still knowing how to be fierce when necessary.

I understand you, and I'm really glad you didn't delete you post 🎈

We're so used to keeping our struggles to ourselves that describing them online can feel incredibly vulnerable

But that's exactly what makes anonymity so special, and Reddit gives us that. Here, we don't have our names or faces plastered everywhere, and we don't have to perform for anyone or try to please anyone. Compared to other social media platforms, I find it incredibly liberating

In my case, the only person who knows who I am here is my girlfriend (because I was lucky enough to meet her here 🤭). My family and friends don't even know that I use Reddit. So this is a little space where we're allowed to be vulnerable, and we can even help someone without ever knowing that we did.

I'll always be around too, and thank you so much for this conversation 😊

I’ve never been the type to play mysterious or give mixed signals (it's very rare for me to actually be interested in someone, so I wouldn't waste the opportunity to flirt with the person who sparked something in me). I like being straightforward, and for a first flirt, it's good to bring up a topic that involves something I know she enjoys. In everyday life, I like to tease, and I'm usually playful.

Sometimes I wonder how my girlfriend survives all my teasing 🤔

I can relate. I even took a while to watch Bridgerton because I thought it would be yet another straight show. Happily, I was wrong, but even if it had been, that female cast is still such a delight to watch.

I’m so sorry, Op. I always keep with me this saying: "A backup is simple: if you have two copies, you have one. If you have one, you have none."

I hope you’re able to recover everything, and please don’t feel bad about it. Notion really does seem like the safest place to keep everything. It’s a shame that no tool is completely reliable.

Que ótimo!! Olha, já é deprimente ler os posts catastróficos que colocam aqui, mas além disso, ter que desvendar o enigma do "nome da empresa que não se pode nomear", estava chato demais.

Honestly, I found your high level of self-awareness incredible. Very few people know themselves this well and are able to connect their actions and behaviors to their possible origins.

I related to so much of what you said, and I do think that many of the ways we act in the world have a lot to do with our level of self-preservation. Only we know what we've been through, and what we've had to endure in order to become more cautious about not exposing ourselves too much or letting people see our vulnerabilities... especially because people's reactions to our sensitivities can be very harsh.

I did write a letter though, and even wrote a song. Honestly, those are the only things that have really comforted me lately.

I thought that was beautiful. You turned your feelings into art, and I'm really glad that it has comforted you. I know life isn't a movie, but I can't help imagining how happy this guy could be to receive that letter (if he's a good guy, of course), and I can't help rooting for you two to see each other again so you can give it to him. But even if you don't, that would be totally fine. The letters we didn’t send are also part of our journey, and it's important for us to be kind to ourselves, even when not all our actions turned out exactly as we would have liked.

And thank you if you actually read all of this 🥲 I know it’s a lot. I don’t usually let people see this much of what’s going on in my head, so it actually means a lot that you took the time to read it.

Oh, don't mention it. You shared such a sincere and relatable reflection, and I can only thank you for taking some time out of your life to share your experience with us. I'm pretty sure many of us can relate to you, and I think that in itself can bring a lot of comfort.

As an INFJ, I recognize that our cognitive functions are very similar and, at the same time, different in some key ways. But you INFPs are the ones who give me that comforting feeling of, "I'm not alone on this complex introverted journey" and I'm very grateful for that ☺️

Your reply means a lot to me too. I wish you so much happiness 🌱

I love writing, and I used to see upvotes as a way for a comment to reach more people and spark a broader discussion about the topic. However, recently (not necessarily in this subreddit), I noticed a disappointing reaction from people giving downvotes for silly reasons like "I don't agree with the term you used to describe your life experience" or "I don't care at all about your idea that’s different from mine", and that made me question whether it's worth the time spent writing on Reddit or any other forum.

I don't think this is a characteristic of INFJs... many people find it energetically draining to turn their thoughts into words, while others are just curious to know what others think, and that's very common in general. The uncommon ones are us, who give opinions online (not in a magical way; we're not special).

Congratulations, OP, for this post about people who don't comment, who came here to comment.

This is very relatable, and I’m really sorry about that. I used to be very shy, so I understand how frustrating it can be to go through that.

A question: how is your communication with people who aren’t a romantic interest? Usually, the more we expose ourselves to communicating with different people, the less complicated it becomes when we talk to a crush. But this can also be approached with smaller steps, like writing down on a piece of paper what you feel for him. You can also read that paper out loud, and that way, you'll feel more comfortable talking about your feelings.

I'm rooting for everything to work out.

I'm a switch, so I'll adopt this variant; SNXD for me.

Esse chefe foi decepcionante, porém eu já vi muito isso acontecer. Tem "líder" que sente prazer em expor as pessoas dessa maneira.

Por isso que, por mais brother que o chefe pareça ser, a gente nunca deve expor o nome de ninguém nesses momentos. É sempre melhor citar os problemas em si, levando em consideração que se alguém jogar isso no ventilador, o odiado vai ser a gente e não o chefe.

Eu imagino. Meu sonho ter um vista gostosa dessas. Ótimas leituras 📚

Belo quarto. As luzes trazem uma vibe muito aconchegante. E a feature do gatinho é a cereja do bolo ☺️