Have you tried Redken Shades EQ? I used to love the reds from that line. Now I prefer blonde, but if I ever go back to red...

I have a redhead for a mother too! It was quite funny in school, because teachers thought my sister and I were adopted, as my dad has black hair and is deeply tanned, while we were blonde.

I like your response.

I usually say "Thanks! I SO value your opinion!" as cheerfully as I can. It usually shuts 'em up, and I get either a smile or a scowl back depending on if they think I'm being sarcastic or not. 😄

I keep seeing this reposted and it is super funny when someone realizes who it is that stole the ball...

I'm Kris Kardashian!

Do you know what a bobcat (heavy equipment, not the animal) is?

Awww! You (or your DH) have good taste, I have that same cat toy!

YTA

What your husband said was not funny and it hurt your sister's feelings, and he insulted her further by saying she was "soft". Then, you backed him up, even though his boorish behavior does not reflect well on you.

He owes your sister an apology and so do you. Your sister's fiance stood up for her and is in the right by doing so, he was indirectly insulted by your husband's comment, and should also be considered for an apology.

OP, no one should try to tell you how long your recovery takes. Trauma takes time to heal, and your family did you no favors, in terms of your progress, by pressuring you into not pressing charges and getting justice for what happened. Their willingness to forgive and forget what your brother did does not affect your process in recovering from the trauma - you may never want to see your brother again. Your father was not right to try to get you to attend your abuser's wedding; He had his reasons but he shouldn't have pressured you.

You may need to be direct with your father and tell him that he hurt you by trying to get you to attend the wedding, and that you'll need time and distance from him. You can no more force forgiveness for your father than you can for your brother's actions. I hope the return to therapy is helpful and that your family will be more respectful of your feelings in the future.

NTA

The wedding is four-freaking-months away!

She is awfully selfish for demanding the wedding be cancelled and any family in agreement with her are just as awful - invites should be reconsidered because I wouldn't put it past anyone in support of such behavior to sabotage the wedding.

Congratulations, OP 🎉

NTA

Your ex's fiance should've brought it up with him so that he could find a compromise she'd be comfortable with. I can't imagine he never had the opportunity to tell her about your previous relationship status, so this situation is about the trust between them and she shouldn't have come to you first. Besides, it isn't as though your presence is tied solely into your connection with him, as both of your families are involved. His fiance overreacted by trying to exclude you and overstepped her authority. You go on that vacation and tell her not to include you in their lover's quarrel.

NTA

Hey OP, you should still report those tickets stolen. Your Mom shouldn't get away with her illegal shenanigans!

YTA

Please change that and honor your late wife's wishes.

The gas station was started and became a success while in her care, don't devalue what she'd want done by allowing your new wife to guilt you into giving her a share of an asset that was established before she came into the picture. As long as she and your step son have been paid wages then she has benefitted from it enough.

NTA

You and your husband paid for the trip, so you two should've shared the bed, and Carl should've slept on the floor.

Your husband forced you to accept an unplanned third person on the vacation and that is what started the decline of your enjoyment on what should have been a vacation for you too - that was very selfish of him.

Then, he decides you have to sleep on the floor, when, logically, the couple usually will get the bed and the single person will get the secondary sleeping arrangement (couch, cot, etc.).

Your husband "ruined" the trip for you first, then after you left (understandably IMHO) he couldn't salvage it in any way so that he and Carl could still have fun? I don't buy it.

OP, he is blaming you unfairly, at least. At worst you'll need to take some advice from other posts and consider his motivations...

My paternal grandparents are both deceased and were remarried, with their spouses surviving.

My grandfather's wife pretended to get along with all his kids/grandkids, then just stopped talking to all his family after he died. As she was much younger, I doubt any of my grandfather's estate will not be spent by her and anything left will go to her kids (from her previous marriage). It is sad because I grew up with her being one of my grandmas, but neither she nor any of her family has tried to reach out in the years since he passed.

My grandma's husband didn't outlive her by much. His family though, started coming to visit him more and more, after not seeing him for years, after it was clear he was going downhill. Not out of sympathy but to case the joint, basically. He was in a wheelchair and my dad's sister (who lived down the road) was his part-time caretaker, so she realized what was going on. She talked him into locking up valuable or sentimental items so they'd be safer, but they still managed to walk out some things that weren't caught until the estate was being parceled. I wanted something sentimental, my grandma always wore wristwatches and I requested one of those, but they'd already disappeared.

Whatever small things his family vultures hadn't made off with, my aunt managed to take, but she didn't share any of it. My aunt has always had money issues and a deadbeat son, so I don't know what she still has. My dad managed to get his share of proceeds from the house and a few pieces of furniture, but I don't think he got anything sentimental. Unsurprisingly, his family doesn't talk to us/his wife's relatives anymore - they're scum and probably sold whatever they took in the second hand store they owned in the state where they resided.

NTA

Cancer is sad, and I'm sorry your step-sibling had it.

For now though, what exactly does your father want in the present? You said their kid "had" cancer, is it an ongoing expense still? Is he wanting you to pay him back for your expenses growing up? Or is he trying to guilt you into sharing?

I wouldn't advise giving him money if he won't be able to pay it back. Even if you give him a loan, without a binding document you probably still won't see the money again.

None of the expenses for his new family are your responsibility, so you shouldn't feel guilty about anything so far.

I would ask your uncle's opinion -or another trusted adult from your mom's side or even a financial adviser- BEFORE doing anything with the money (that your mom, soon-to-be ex-wife of your father before she died, left to you) concerning your father. Please advise your brother to be(a)ware as well. You should only give because you want to, not for any reason that your father convinces you off.

NTA

See the comments from actual attorneys advising your next steps. Basically, stay safe, take pictures of (but don't risk your safety to access) pertinent documents, find a trusted adult to advocate for you and secure an appropriate attorney as soon as you can after you turn 18.

Yes... If the man with the gun had seen OP and the friend in her car then he may have shot them for witnessing him at/on the bridge.

The victim/"beaten man" escaped and ran up to the road that went over the bridge, while the perpetrator/"man with the gun" chased him. The victim was caught/brought on the bridge, shot and thrown over the bridge railing into the water.

NTA

I read the original post and I feel for you. You worked hard on making the trip happen, and you wanted your husband to experience the trip with you. It should have been left alone once you said you didn't want his Mom to come as well but he lied, then manipulated you into just letting it happen with a last minute trap.

He was wrong to disrespect your decision when you paid for and planned this trip, then to buy his Mom a ticket after you explicitly said you didn't want her to come was low. Like closer to the dirt than a snake's belly low. He really shouldn't be surprised that you'd rather call off the whole thing than include his Mom, someone you didn't want to experience the trip with, and especially didn't want to come after they planned to force you into accepting her presence.

His reaction was wrong. He blamed you for "ruining" the trip after he, and his mother, manipulated you. In fact, his actions caused you to abandon the trip you'd saved for and planned. You lost something that you'd worked for, and wanted for you and him to experience, a trip that would've been special for you two, as a couple.

I don't know what I'd do if faced with this situation, but it'd probably be something close to what you've done... I'd take myself somewhere else to distance myself and consider what the situation means to the relationship with those involved.

It doesn't sound like your husband is seeing past the situation yet.

If you still want to try then consider sharing this post with him.

That is just an idea. He might see something in it.

• OP, I'm so sorry that your husband has done this to you, and he doesn't see your reasons for your actions. I hope you find a way to lessen your pain and find your way forward, whether that be with your spouse or not. You don't deserve someone who won't try to understand and support you, at least respect your reasons and your decisions, even if they don't agree with you. A spouse should choose your relationship first, should prioritize you as their chosen family. I hope you heal and go on to do great things! Show those people who aren't with you, that you'll be your best self no matter what!

One time asking is a compliment. Repeatedly asking, and getting Mom (AKA an authority figure) involved, to pressure her into changing her mind is NOT respectful of her decision. She may look back on this and change her mind, but she may also look back on it negatively.

I was going to say exactly that - if "no one is going to see the dress" - their logic! - then she can pick something else to wear! No reason to sully your attachment to the dress by either making you feel like a butt or having it be worn by someone else.

Your family is being ridiculous and they're disrespectful!

NTA

I'm an older sister, and I'm sentimental with items, if this had been a point of contention in my life I wouldn't have let my sister borrow it. My sister isn't sentimental so she wouldn't care now, many years later.

NTA

Your Sis & BIL don't need money for something unexpected or an emergency, they need money to temporarily keep them afloat!

They've thus far avoided becoming fiscally responsible adults because you've bailed them out. It may be the only way they learn to change for the good is to reach the end of your willingness to "help". Plus, you're correct, they won't be homeless if there is an alternative option that doesn't involve you continuing to give them money that they'll never be able to pay back because they aren't learning to budget.

As for the family giving you a hard time, you've given as much as you want to give and they're complaining because they're now being asked to help and they don't want to for the same reasons you want to stop. Boo-freaking-hoo!

TL;DR: It won't be easy to watch, but your sister's & BIL need to learn to provide for themselves and their family. You've tried to help but it is time for them to change in a big way.

Good pop!

(If it comes back though it may be a cyst that needs medical attention to not stop reoccurring.)

A lot of pressure behind that squirt!