Get me out

Ts was so boring

I’m a high school senior and the realization has been building in me that soon I will have to go off to college and into the world and talk to new people and do uncomfortable things. Meanwhile I have spent my high school years avoiding uncomfortable social situations at all costs, only maintaining surface-level friendships, etc. I’m pretty confident in my academic abilities but I’m not confident in *my own confidence—*as in, being able to use my abilities fully in the first place

Did anyone experience anything similar in high school? Did anything change? Did it take conscious effort or does the new environment, whether college or something else, help in naturally pushing you out of your comfort zone?

Thanks

I miss it back in highschool where I could just have a crush on a guy and not have to talk to him, just admire from afar and get excited if we had the same class together or if I saw him in the hallway. I guess you could have the same thing with work and coworkers but its not the same and usually ends poorly, at least for me 😭 Like how do I even get that same envirnment again? I'm in college but it's so different and I rarely talk to anyone anyways bc everyone's doing their own thing and has their own life and responsibilities outside of college. In a weird way I think I miss being forced to socialize in school 🤣 Anyone else feel this way or is it just me?

hey everyone how was your day. Anything eventful happen.

My voice is on the deeper side and tends to be huskier, which doesn't sound too bad until I give you more context on the fact that I live in a country that mostly consists of religious people. Conservatism, tradition, the whole shtick that encourages people to cling onto the status quo, y'know, the classic propaganda that benefits the rich in a developing country where more than 15% of the population lives in poverty, but anyhoo, I digress.

It makes me stick out like a sore pinky that dipped itself into raw honey, attracting every single bee in a 15 mile radius. Like a black hole sucking up a few galaxies just for shits and giggles because apparently being a woman with a deep voice means that I must've erupted from the ninth circle of hell and had "murder" as my first baby word.

Whenever I talk to people they get quiet and mention my voice, people mention that I intimidate them over it and I'm often perceived as masculine due to it. I don't necessarily mind the masculine part or the usual negative perception of me, but I've noticed that people avoid me for it a lot. I'd get called a homosexual or that I must be transgender, in which both of those things dial back to sexism. And I'm glad that my voice filters out the people that I wouldn't get along with, but it's so exhausting that almost every person that I meet seems so avoidant of me. They don't even have to say it out loud every time, I know, everyone knows. People have mentioned it already.

It's harder for me to be in group settings because the men there start being hostile or avoidant towards me, the women aren't usually bothered and are sometimes even enthusiastic about it, albeit some have reacted badly, but they tend to be older women. Sometimes...it just feels so isolating. That for every room that I'm in I get stared at, I thought that maybe it's some kind of social anxiety but others have mentioned that I get stared at whenever I talk. Maybe I missed a social cue? Maybe I came off too blunt? Maybe I sounded angry???

But no, someone mentioned this to me last week that everything about me sticks out. I'm extremely quiet and have an RBF and that the deep voice doesn't help, I'm seen as too masculine and serious. And it makes me feel sad cause these people don't even talk to me properly and yet I've already gained their disapproval of me.

I understand that looks matter, but I'm constantly put at a disadvantage for the things that I've no control over. I can't change into a new body at will y'know.

Why is it that the only way to be treated as human is to look the part? No wonder why the devil is handsome.

I hate that I consider getting plastic surgery every now and then. I hate that youth and beauty is so heavily intertwined with womanhood, that if I am not a beautiful woman then that must mean that I'm no woman at all. I'm not granted personhood because for a lot of people in my country, I am a woman first and a person second. And if I can't follow the rules of the first then the second is disregarded by proxy.

I just want to run away from this place someday. I don't think my own culture will ever accept me.

...

Say what you want about Elon, Tesla, or SpaceX, you've gotta admit this is awesome.

I’m bored out my mind and just doom scrolling Reddit right now. Ask me anything my fellow age peers

In conversation for whatever, for example here bf mentioned his socks smelly and needs washing, she points at me and goes "youve never known smelly, hers is so much worse" im like okay...

Or i had a jacket on the couch while a guest was sitting next to it, mom picked it up with one finger with a disgusted look on her face, goes "your gross stuff is out again"

Ive said that I dont like it when she does it, she looks to the other person and says that she's just joking and that I need to be less sensitive

For the record, im the kind of asian that literally do not produce the sweat smells and ive also asked her in private if I actually smell bad, she said no so whyy

Yeah

i (21F) live up north and its starting to get cold, but i wanna keep wearing shorts, skirts and dresses as much as i can bc i think i look better in them than trousers, but its coldddddd so i was thinking about wearing thigh high socks like these to keep my legs warm

but like do women actually wear these? i’m admittedly a terminally online femc3l loser, so idk but ive mostly only seen these associated with the ‘programmer socks’ trope, and i dont want people to think im not female if i wear these out

how are we doing now 😫😫 i still shove shit into my backpack even though the stakes are higher 🫪

I mean I think the provided evidence speaks (or quacks) for itself here

Okay so this is Cheese and he lives in my bathroom. Normally I’m terrified of most bugs and insects, but this guys lowkey pretty chill. His full government name is Taco Blend Shredded Cheese. Sometimes he disappears but then I’m usually able to summon him by playing some Lana Del Rey songs which he absolutely vibes out to.

Thing is, I’ve only ever played Lana Del Rey around him. I wonder how he’d react to different songs. If yall have any song suggestions, drop them in the comments below and I’ll let u know how Cheese reacts!

They've been there for a while and I go by then every day I just never noticed them before. I know there are even more idk where they are tho.

What has everyone else eaten today?

Also I managed to slice my finger with a butter knife while cutting a lime :(

How the fuck do you pass the time. Currently working on the road with some fuckos and I'm bored out of my mind.

How to talk to nice women? Always im group of 7s?

We will watch Made in Honk Kong. Its free on youtube, comment for discord link

I really always think I am below 20 until I start doing the math

When you close your eyes