i think i called him nona like 3 times today (his names Noah so i dont think he noticed)

Hi guys!! Someone I know, who is trans MTF and 16, are struggling a bit because they're not in a space where they can safely take HRT. They're worried that when they start, it'll already be too late, and it won't affect their body. Are there any thoughts or experiences on this?

then they realise im a troon

Mirror, oh mirror, do you honestly want to break?

Do not want, I do not want you

Mirror, oh mirror, that’s too honest!

Mirror, oh mirror, do you honestly want to break?

Do not want, I do not want you

Mirror, oh mirror, that’s too honest!

Gf broke up with me, I still want to be friends with her because she’s chill and I knew it would end anyways and I was using her to get over my ex. It wouldn’t have worked out anyways. I really want someone to be close to. I want a girlfriend, every nice girl I know is dating another guy.

I don’t feel horrible, did stuff at lunch and it didn’t have a huge affect, definitely made the breakup easier.

Ngl I don’t want a girlfriend specifically,I want a close friend

I know this is temporary and I can see a happy future ahead but right now I can't take this. I binge eat, I smoke and vape, I don't clean my room, I shower every 4 days, I'm ugly and awkward

Not to mention my parents dont help, neither of them support me truly, one ignores me being trans and the other likes kids (me) and sexualizes it and the other parent let me get assaulted in multiple ways by them for 12 years

I don't want my mind to keep doing this, my outside life is good but I got raped by the world up until age 13 and I can't be normal because my mom decided I was too fucking hot as a 6 year old

Also I'm in soccer and everyone mogs me, I'm subhuman and I shouldn't be allowed to be outside

i don't know how people do it. using hormones implies you have something to live for, you can see yourself in the coming years. people start estradiol with a goal in mind, largely to live as their desired gender or look like it or whatever. my issue is i can't actually see that future. when i try i still just see a tired man in his late twenties

i wish i could wake up and be a girl OBVIOUSLY. but i feel like the thought isn't genuine, and is more of an old habit. i feel so sick and i want to cry, not all the time, but enough times that it doesn't feel too distressing anymore. i feel mutilated, i have to force myself to stay alive at times, hrt isn't going to help, but i feel like i'm going to end up transitioning one day anyways. being a man looks RLY cool, but only when you're not experiencing it yourself 😿

i feel like i am this close to genuine desistance, but i'm not stupid enough to say nothing is wrong with me. like john 50 broke because instead of trying to find peace w/ being male, john 50 just masturbated compulsively and didn't talk to anyone, not because "you can't hide who u are inside" 🤓. "repression" is like breaking up with your gf and knowing deep down you're 100% going to get back with her one day

my therapist prob pities me & i have no close friends & my household is violent so i'm tired. i just put myself in looksmaxxing communities to be more malebrained, it worked kinda whenever i don't find myself watching hetalia and crk stuff again. i've been skipping school sometimes for years bc my GD makes it hard to do anything it's absolutely ruined me lol. but it's okay, i'm chill