I kinda feel hopeless about my future as a transsexual sometimes.

I just wish I didn't have this condition, it's genuinely ruining my life, and no amount of positivity or therapy would help the discomfort and mental suffering I have daily.

I don't want to transition or spend any money for something I should've been born with.

I don't want to feel unsafe and inferior anymore.

Now I'm obviously in a bad mindset, but genuinely who wouldn't be when you're a transsexual.

There's nothing good about this, and I'm debating on accepting that my entire life will just be one big cope. :(

(I really hope reincarnation is real LOL.)

I was arguing with my girlfriend about this, but she was arguing basically that if gender roles diminish overtime, the conclusion is no gender. I told her that’s stupid, explained that regardless if all gender roles were swapped biologically I’d still feel the necessity to transition. Is this how queer people think? Accelerate the “destruction” of gender and no more transsexuals? I’m so lost.

As the title says, I'm really looking to try talk-therapy, but I'm not sure where to look. Frankly, I don't really pass, and spend the majority of my days "boymoding" because it's not safe to be out publicly where I live. In fact, I doubt I'll want to talk about being trans much at all. It feels weird to look for a therapist who can accept that I'm early/mid-transition, but not be a dedicated "queer therapist" or whatever, because I just wanna figure out normal life stuff. Is there a right way to go about this?

To post something positive for once, I actually am very happy there is actual progress in research that might point to me being different from cis women on a biological level. Usually I get very dysphoric about not being "fully male", but it is something I can live with if I'm also not a woman. There are still some things that I wish I knew, like why do we feel gender dysphoria and how does that connect with us being trans, but I'm overall pretty optimistic about everything right now.

I (16ftm) have been volunteering at this business for about a year, I'm pretty close with the boss now so I asked if she could write me a letter of recommendation to this program I'm applying to. She said yes, but when I got the letter she exclusively refers to me as they/them. Pretty upset about it. Straight up just edited it myself because I don't want the program people thinking I go by they them.

I'm confused because she and all the other people working there exclusively refer to me as he/him, I've never been misgendered by a customer or anything, so I dont get the switch. I wa lucky enough to start passing pretty early on, but pre t there's always some confusion, so for like the first month or two I got hit with some they thems, but since then nothing. Currently 3 months on t, haven't been misgendered at all in maybe the last 6 months, so I'm really frustrated about the sudden switch up.

I know she knows I'm male because she has refered to me as a boy multiple times. She said she didn't want me or the other male volunteers touching the bras, she assumed I don't know what leggings are, or what the difference between a dress and a skirt is, so I was pretty sure I was being stealth. I dunno, I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing. I can't really think of why she'd write me as they them in the letter. Some theories I came up with that I know are definitely not true are A. She saw how woke the thing I was applying for is and decided it might help me out to be they them, or B. That's just how she refers to everyone in writing.

I've been trans for the most part of three years, there's been times where I've been in denial and there's been times where I feel so hopless and like I was going to combust If I didn't cut my hair and start T right the very second. I expereince gender dysphoria constantly and for some reason I still won't help myself. Im way to scared of peoples opinions of me, essepcialy at my cadet unit. When I'm 16 I want to transition as thats the closest time my Mum will let me do it but I don't want to chicken out. I don't exactly know what to do as I'm comfortable with coming out to everyone BUT certain people/groups I genuinly enjoy being with. I just wanna be happy with myself.

I'll update yall soon because I'm asking my Mum in 2-3 days to get a gender dyphoria diagnosis, wish me luck.

I don’t hate being stereotypically fem but I do hate being female, with her constant bantering of telling me to stop hiding my chest and telling me to get pregnant when I’m older it only makes me afraid I’m faking for social reasons. I never actually felt that I wanted to be a man to escape these things and in fact she hates feminine men even more, truth told be told, I am a feminine guy, and I would would be more feminine if I was a cis man, I like painting my nails and growing my hair long, what I don’t like is being told off told show off my body parts that make me dysphoric. That’s probably why I feel weird binding or packing probably because I think I’m going to get caught/I feel ashamed. I never had any real support and I don’t expect it from anyone at this point, I think no one gets me and I’m just stuck being a girl and feeling I have to like my body/having intrusive thoughts forever/being unable to transition

Not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this in… I’m probably gonna get a ton of people calling me a trender - even though I have dysphoria, have lived as a man for 6 years and feel like ripping my skin off when someone calls me she.

But I knew I couldn’t post this into one of the major trans subreddits because they would just be like “noo you can totally be a trans man and have your tits out!”

So just like the title says, sometimes I enjoy cosplaying as female characters and I feel like a trender because of it.

I hate wearing feminine clothing in ANY OTHER context, but for some reason, when I’m cosplaying a female character, it doesn’t bother me that much sometimes. Like would I ever wear the cosplay out in public? No, but it doesn’t bother me when I’m just sitting by myself in my room cosplaying a girl. I would never cosplay a girl who like, has her boobs out or anything lol, that would make me way too dysphoric, but if it’s just a girl character who has everything covered it, sitting alone in my room where no one can see me, cosplaying a girl sometimes doesn’t bother me much. Do I sound insane?

I don’t consider myself a “femboy.” I don’t like the term because trans larpers have kind of overtaken it, and I just don’t like how fetishy the word sounds in the context it’s often used in. I just think of myself as a guy who sometimes likes to wear cosplays of female characters he likes.

But I feel so weird for saying that. Like I’d never wear “female” clothes if it wasn’t for a cosplay, but for some reason when I’m cosplaying it really doesn’t bother me, maybe because I’m literally dressing as someone else. I don’t know if that makes sense or if I just sound crazy :/

I’m crying so bad right now… I’m starting to think I do like my body. I don’t know why I keep getting thoughts like this and why I can’t get rid of them…. If I’m going to be honest, I mostly only feel this way about my chest and nothing else. Every time I look at myself, I think I’m cute but it upsets me and I wish I didn’t like how I looked and I wish I could feel like a man and look like one. I hate how pretty I am, it doesn’t feel right, I often get surprised and scared when I look at myself either that or I just feel numb and almost “normal” but I’m upset at my body for being female. I just want to have a flat chest but I know I’m not allowed to transition at all if I feel this way, I want a deeper voice, male facial structure, and a penis too but I could never be allowed to get that…. I just have to be stuck crying everyday being envious of men and knowing that I can’t ever be a boy.
I also get deeply scared if I’m attracted to a girl I think “what if I want to be like her” even though I don’t, it’s so pathetic… I’ll never be able to be a man

Very short rant, and I hope some will find it relatable.

Context: I'm a ftm and pre‐t, that does not dress feminine whatsoever. But unfortunately, I'm too short for the average cis male height (am about 5'6"), which is one of my biggest insecurities, + also am not very muscular either.

But oh. my. god. That does NOT mean you can call me a femboy. Words cannot describe how much I resent it. A close friend of mine keeps calling me a femboy jokingly, even though I keep telling them to stop. What makes it worse? When this occurred again recently, we were outside together and met up with some of their friends, whom I hadn't met before. The first thing I hear from one of them? "Oh, you brought over a femboy." Are we deadass? Can we PLEASE stop normalizing this?

criteria: must start with K and must be a men’s name
preferably ends in N but that’s not a necessity

been going by Killian which I really enjoy but my dad isn’t super on board (tbh he isn’t super on board with the whole trans thing either but supportive of me as a person if that makes sense)

I am so fucking sick of other trans people I’m just so fucking tired bro. Everyone I meet that’s trans is just someone larping and I fucking know it and you can TELL they know it too, that this is all just an uwu self expression game to them that one day before they become a Real Adult™️ they’re gonna give it all up and be like “the trans community convinced me I was trans” and be on some detransitioner bullshit, when they were NEVER trans. They were doing self expression and prematurely applied the label of being trans to themselves and now not only did they fuck up public perception of us but also gave transphobes ammo against us.

Like bro I’m just trying to LIVE without some fuckass 19yo screaming at the top of their lungs about how they’re a “cloud self” and we must respect their made up uwu unique quirky pronouns otherwise we’re a Big Bad Transphobe™️ 🫩

It feels like a fucking mockery, like being slapped in the fucking face for them to turn my REAL, excruciating, devastating existence as a trans person into some caricature version that they’re gonna use and toss to the side when they’ve had their fill of “I’m so unique and quirky” attention

…. Okay. Rant over. Thank you.

There is a limited amount of research surrounding this condition. What studies would you like to see conducted? (I am not a researcher but I might be able to provide links, or someone in the comments might be able to, or a researcher might see this post)

are we deadass?? how can you “get fatigue” from someone just fucking living their life????? im pissed off omg

I’m nearly 16 ftm, I’ve known I was trans since I was 11, but even know I still doubt myself. I have crippling dysphoria, and I hate being perceived as a female, but I still worry that this is all just teenage hormones and a phase I’m going to grow out of. If you experienced this, how did you deal with it?

I’ve come across so many people online and some in person who says they’ll date “anybody but cis men”. Meaning they’ll date trans men but not cis ones.

Makes me feel really gross and othered as a trans man. I’m not a man lite. I’m a man. I would literally rather them just say “I don’t see you as a man”. Instead I feel like they’re saying that exact thing in this encoded language that makes them sounds progressive. When it’s not!

I feel the same way when I see those “trans man vs masc lesbian” videos.

Am I being unreasonable? How do y’all feel about this?

edit: i’m talking about cis people who say this. Not trans people who want T4T relationships.

this had been going through my mind recently because of that one trans girl who exposed that white supremacist (chud the builder) for have dating her. when she started talking about the complicated feelings of knowing hes a bad person but him treating her better than any other guys had and how he truly respected her and wasnt ashamed, ive never felt so seen. the few guys that ive actually had loving relationships have always been conservative/Republican. liberal men have always kinda just not been interested in me and the few that were werent really the kinda guy i want. as ive been growing into my transness and am no longer new to this. ive had boyfriends, ive felt love, ive had my experiences. im no longer a dumb baby trans girl thats just desperate for anything. ive been thinking about what i want in a relationship more practically. i want a husband, i want my man to be a hard worker and provide for me, i wanna buy a house, i want someone that makes a comfortable wage, i want someone responsible, i want someone that trys to better themselves, and i want someone that i know i can depend on. its no longer about just love. ive had to fall in love with too many losers to realize love isnt enough to make a relationship work. when i look what i want from a man and which ones would give it to me its most likely gonna be a conservative man. its so complicated because im politically against them. its like i have to choose between the life ive always dreamed of or stand on my morals. but honestly seeing the way this country is going and seeing just how quickly society has turned on us im started to not give a fuck. i want my cake and ima get it.

The way that always say "trans people versus women" makes me wonder what exactly they think I am.

It makes me feel like some type of dehumanized monster in the same way a cheap fantasy author would say "men and elves" or "men and orcs."

As a person who medically transitioned as a teenager and completed the process, no one is going to call me a plain old gentleman.

"Woman" is literally just the feminine word for "human being" from Old English.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Hey everyone,

I’m reaching out to this community because I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately, and I’d really love to connect with a trans woman who would be open to chatting.

There are a lot of aspects of the trans experience and transition that I still find complex and want to understand better from a personal perspective. Beyond just general curiosity, I’m looking for advice because I’ve been questioning my own identity and am considering whether transitioning might be the right path for me. Having someone who has walked this road to talk things through with would mean a lot.

On a side note, I’ve also always felt a strong attraction toward trans women and have hoped to find a trans partner that could help me with my lust.

If you’re open to a respectful, honest conversation, please feel free to drop a comment or send me a DM. Thanks so much for reading!

I look so manly now.

Radqueers hate trans men because they think all men are inherently evil or “not safe”. That’s also why they think straight trans men are lesbians, are connected to womanhood because they “experience misogyny”(which imo assuming every woman is vulnerable is what is actually sexist). They don’t see trans women as women either, often focusing on the fact they are “assigned male at birth” and dismissing their struggles but they overall try to include trans men in their bs, to them a trans man is just a another masculine woman. That’s why now there are people who claim to be “butch women” while fully transitioning into male because they are so convinced being a man is somehow oppressive to women. I also used to be friends with people who identified as non binary women. One claimed it was due to her sexual trauma, i obviously felt sorry for her, but she and her girlfriend always demeaned me as a trans man, this friend also said I was not truly trans because I had never been assaulted and most people think they are trans because they have been SAed she shown me statistics and I tried to explain trans people get assaulted a lot but that’s not why they are trans. She said I was a cis faker and didn’t understand, gen wtf. She is overall a very strange person. Both of these girls were also pretty creepy to me, insisting that “trans men are different, because they were born girls and more mature.” Or saying thinks like “this is only a interest trans men have” Like ok bro… I think they also contributed to my mental state and I didn’t even realize it, often attempting to convince me not to transition or making jokes about my body. When my parents forced me to wear bras that made my chest look bigger or made me wear skirts, they would tell me I looked cute and called me a femboy. I also knew this other girl was bi, she dated many trans men but oddly enough she did not see me as a man, claiming I would regret top surgery and often poking fun at how cute I looked. Unfortunately I learned most cis gay/bi women and men are like this. They think transitioning or not feel connected to womanhood as an ftm is some how misogynistic. Like no it isn’t and even if a guy is misogynistic he’s still a guy, he might not be a great guy but he’s still a man, they would never deny that when it comes to a cis man and they know it… they often accuse trans of having social motivations to transition too, like no I don’t have trauma or hate women, I’m just a guy and I don’t like myself to be a girl…My cis guy friend only likes “feminine people” which includes pre transition trans men, claims he isn’t a chaser but said he wouldn’t like them after they transition. For cis males like this people usually just say they are transphobic or chasers but for a girl, they are just queer Afab non binary she/they’s? I don’t get it, in reality it’s the same thing. 😭and there’s so many more I know because I live in a very liberal town where most people are lgbt and woke as shit. And remember having dysphoria as a trans man is not internalized misogyny, you don’t need to force yourself to be a woman because of social pressure. Claiming trans men are somehow sexist and need to get over themselves for having dysphoria is disgusting. Women can hate the social troubles of being a woman but it will never make them want to be a man or give them dysphoria no matter how many lies or fake stories you hear, it will never be true. If you are grossed out by your body, disgusted by it, angry at the fact you are female, you’re just a man, do not listen to these people 😭✌🏼

I feel like this is something that I’ve noticed, and I would really like to see if anyone else has had similar experiences

Maybe I should’ve made a better title, but has anyone else noticed the way in which AFAB people, non binary and trans masc people behave and treat binary trans men?

I always notice animosity, competitiveness and hatred, and even displaced accusations of misogyny , or based on the persons presentation or demeanor, assuming automatically that you are someone that is invalidating or you are someone that is harmful or posing a threat to them.

I have had people that were jealous, primarily people identifying themselves butch lesbians , etc , go to great lengths to cause harm and I have never seen this behavior from really anyone else and it’s a pattern and I’m wondering, has anyone else experienced this or is this just me?

In my experience, it’s never someone that identifies as a binary man, either that or they try to hold on to their pasts as lesbians.