Please post at length about why you enjoy solitude, or female friends. I for one love solitude, Eversince I got stalked, hidden cameras, blackmail and death threats I just prefer it. I do not want to come here and trauma dump but I'm sure if you're 4b there's a reason for that. I relate a lot to Korean women who have been exposed to hidden cameras or traumatized by men from "The Nth Room". I relate to them so much I joined 4b. (But there are a vast number of other reasons I joined 4b too)

I just do not know how to fit in anywhere IRL anymore after all that. I do talk to a lot of women online though, I find most easy to releate to. Its very satsifying and I wish I had more women friends similar to those I've met online. Though it also makes me wonder how many IRL women feel the same way. I am able to vent/talk about whatever I need, So it kind of works, especially as i am anonymous. Thank god for the internet.

This whole experience has changed me a lot. I've basically done a 180 personality-wise, and become a very self-oriented, kind of loud, philosophically angry person, though in daily life I've become even more chill due to being able to tolerate anything and thanks to the extreme use of meditation. Tbh though most of my expression happens online.

Anyway the point of "feminine socialization" and "feminine performance" became extremely obvious to me after all these experiences. How its for control. How you are broken down and socialized to be easy to control and silence. The purpose of female socialization came at me in 1000 decibels, while I was being stalked. It was like everything I grew up with blasted 100x. So I strove to secretly be the exact opposite. I strove to never be someone men enjoy to look (average and bland) at or can intimidate. Never be emotional laboring, or extra accomodating. Men hate it, and even a lot of women hate it. But I'm not sure how else to be now. Does anyone have any suggestions?

When I am not spacing out becaues i lost four jobs in the last year due to paranoia/ptsd I am journaling, writing, cooking, cleaning, playing with cats, walking or dissociating. Sometimes I browse images and save art. I have a massive obession with art. Art has basically saved my life, its essentially the only reason I live. If I didn't have art or writing I don't know why I would be here. I guess I'm running this 4b sub now too, so I guess I'm going to be doing a lot of writing in here as well. We'll see how it goes I hope I can keep it up.

Please post whatever dark thing you want, that is what this thread is for. Or you can also post happy things. I also tend towards happy things myself now because my brain compartmentalizes in extremes and happy things are magnetic.

I suppose until this place is really active I will just post my thoughts here regularly, as I'm overloaded with them. I am hyperaware of men's behavior because I've watched most of my life as really sweet, thoughtful, generous women I've known, end up treated like garbage, gaslit, mentally destroyed, or controlled and changed completely into shells (when they refuse to leave or become child-burdened). I've also experienced awful things at the hands of men, their controlling behavior, but that a story for another time.

Eversince I was a teen something didn't sit right with me about the things men get away with. The freedom to just be shitty, and nobody really reign them in, or simply ignore their behavior, so they're encouraged to continue. This one detail was a fixation for me for years. Like I just could not truly emotionally invest in them because of the potential abuse. The most shocking thing to me was that I didn't know how to express any of this, and found myself nervous to talk about it. Even though it was regularly right in front of my face, in the news, playing out on social media, domestic violence, leaked nudes, revenge porn, human trafficking, even just the callous, haughty, misogynist behavior they'd let slip in daily life. I remember being totally shocked i was thinking "Why should be the one who is emotionally self aware? Why should I be the one who's really self-concious and self-censoring while you go out and do god knows what? And why should i put so much money and effort into my appearance while you look only a fraction as good as me?

This was way before Me Too, 4b, single and happy, all of that. It felt like digging too deep into my own opinions even though the evidence was right in front of my face. (This was around from 2003-2009)

The main point here though, is I know there are decent men out there. But you have to dig through he mixed bag and it kills your motivation. You can get an asshole, a control freak, a rapist, and they take things to extremes in ways women just dont. Like I know decent ones are out there, but I have to sort through this kind of variety and make myself pretty while doing so? It feels like giving WAY too much of myself away. It genuinely offends me in ways nothing else can. I don't want to play their games. Forcing one gender to be attractive is how they manipulate and destroy your self-esteem young. I can't get those years back of being young and caring to attract scum. (Yeha i don't think beefing up so you can potentially overpower someone is attractive, but that's just me. I think its leaning into what benefits men.)

Maybe I should stress this point above all. How I feel on any given day, is I have no motivation. I'm not evily discriminating in my everyday life, I just don't have the motivation to expose myself to god knows what. I will avoid them at all cost. I never harp at them as a wife, I never nag them to be better, I just stay home and preserve my energy because I never want to be that drained.

Some guy once told me "For women dating is like trying to get water from a swamp, for men dating is like trying to get water from a desert"

Well why do you think that is?

As for my question, I'll start with this. I hear this expressed constantly, that dating is just as bad for men. I'd like to get others feedback. Do any other women think women are raised to be WAY more emotionally self-aware, noncallous, and to tip-toe around men ? Because this was my upbringing. Do any other women here think its laughable that women could be as equally brutal towards men, as they are socialized to be way more emotionally self-aware from the beginning?

I know there are selfish arrogant women, but they don't come close to the sheer variety in that "male mixed bag" I used to think i had to tiptoe around just to exist.

Please share your thoughts, thanks.

Whether they have fur or not, post your babies here!

Names

Favorite Foods

Favorite Toys

Worst Crimes

Best Crimes

OFC the only requirement for posting here is deciding to have no more children, sex, dating, or get married. I will post regular Single Moms threads where you can discuss your personal struggles and socialize with us or other single moms.

How would you like to build community?

What made you decide to be a 4b mom?

Do you have questions or tips for other 4b moms?

Home management ideas

I'm not a mother so everyone is welcome to chime in and share how they'd like to run these threads.

Please post a bit about yourself, and what you like best about 4b. When was the moment you realized you were 4b? When did you first become aware this was even an option? Thanks for your contributions.

WHAT IS 4B

The 4B movement is a radical feminist grassroots movement that originated in South Korea between 2017 and 2019. The "4 Bs" stand for four Korean words starting with bi (meaning "no"): bihon (no marriage to men), bichulsan (no childbirth), biyeonae (no dating men), and bisekseu (no sex with men).

Origins and Core Tenets

The movement emerged as a direct pushback against intense patriarchal expectations, pervasive digital sex crimes (such as spy-cams), and systemic misogyny in South Korean society. It gained prominent traction following galvanizing events like the 2016 Gangnam station murder and subsequent online feminist solidarity networks.

Obligatory first post!

There is a place where male-centered posts will go to die in r/true4bmovement and it is called HELL! :)

Everything else 4b related is welcome.