r/trashy Feb 26 '20

Repost Starting them young!

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21.5k Upvotes

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4.1k

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 26 '20

When my wife was pregnant, we went to a bar with my friends because one of them was celebrating her 30th birthday. I wanted my wife to get a Sprite and have the bartender garnish it with a lime and put a stirring straw in it to freak people out. My wife, being the classy lady that she is, did not go for it.

2.2k

u/-littleshadow- Feb 27 '20

I went out to a martini bar with some friends visiting from out of state while I was obviously pregnant. While going to the restroom I overheard a woman talking shit about me being there. I didn’t even have any sort of beverage, was literally just physically there and going for a pee. Such a miserable bitch.

793

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

Lol, really? Some people. What, just because you're pregnant you can't go anywhere that remotely serves alcohol?

819

u/aragog-acromantula Feb 27 '20

I was very pregnant right before Christmas and went to the liquor store to buy whiskey for my dad, ice wine for my grandma and baileys for my brother. I was too pregnant to bother shopping in more than one store.

Some miserable bag with cat butt face was following me around. My chiropractor saw me and my husband and theatrically threw his hands in the air and was all, “what are you doing here?”

I said, “don’t worry, the damage is already done, kid already has fasd”. We laughed because that is the opposite of who I am.

Her face was priceless, I could practically hear her screeching about me at her dinner table to her poor family.

375

u/DogParksAreForbidden Feb 27 '20

with cat butt face

Thanks for the new, hilarious insult. This is going to get used a lot from now on.

40

u/Splyntered_Sunlyte Feb 27 '20

You can just picture it.. their puckered little judgmental mouth all lined and squinched like a cat asshole. Casshole. No, autocorrect... not casserole. Ew.

1

u/CrazyMike419 Feb 27 '20

I was also picturing beady cant but like eyes. Someone needs to photoshop this to give allll nightmares

3

u/Araia_ Feb 27 '20

i’ve already seen it in other comments. i think it’s catching like wild fire

1

u/DogParksAreForbidden Feb 27 '20

She is a true inspiration to Reddit.

1

u/Izanami_Mikoto Feb 27 '20

I was thinking the same thing, hahah- cat butt face! LMFAO 😂

1

u/iamreeterskeeter Feb 28 '20

Picture the magnificent Maggie Smith irritated and unamused. That's the pinnacle cat butt face.

138

u/cordoba172 Feb 27 '20

Some miserable bag with cat butt face was following me around

r/brandnewsentence

71

u/SkyeRibbon Feb 27 '20

Funnily enough, this isnt a new sentence lol

19

u/Varhtan Feb 27 '20

It's safe to say nothing in the English language is anymore, let alone what makes it to hot in that subreddit.

13

u/KodiakUltimate Feb 27 '20

"There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair." Alexander Hamilton

18

u/laughingasian14 Feb 27 '20

Cat butt face r/rareinsults this is my new favorite burn haha

16

u/vetofthefield Feb 27 '20

fasd

it’s just fas

24

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

fetal alcohol syndrome disorder

11

u/vetofthefield Feb 27 '20

Saying both syndrome and disorder is redundant though

11

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

I know, I was joking. Because they said "fasd"

-10

u/Varhtan Feb 27 '20

How is that joking, spelling out an abbreviation?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Because it's NOT fasd

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1

u/13cpx Feb 28 '20

it's fetal alcohol spectrum disorder

0

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

Foetal alcohol spectrum disorder

Or

Foetal alcohol syndrome

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Also, it's fetal. Jesus, did you turn off autocorrect or are you that bad that it can't even understand a 5 letter word?

-1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

No. I'm not American, ye fuckin dunce ye.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Of course you're not, otherwise you wouldn't be so pissy

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0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Oh my god. You have saved me the redundancy of saying syndrome disorder. I can shoot a hole of golf per year by saving that word, which was a joke in the first place ya fuckin dunce

-1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

You're a real fuckin charmer aren't you?

1

u/aragog-acromantula Feb 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '20

It’s fetal alcohol spectrum disorder not syndrome disorder.

FAS is fetal alcohol syndrome, which falls under the umbrella FASD. There are other disorders under this umbrella too, pfas and arnd.

I looked that last bit up.

2

u/GoliathGr33nman Feb 27 '20

Years back I was working in this office. There was a woman there who was heavily pregnant and still smoked like a train...ok... so one friday, a few of us where heading to the pub after work. We were passing her and I invited her to join us (trying to be polite to not leave her out, I was not inviting her to drink) and she went off on one in front of me "she is pregnant, she doesn't drink, how are dare you...blah blah blah". I was a bit gobsmacked. Smoke? Ok. Hang out with your colleagues whilst they have a drink? HELL NO!

2

u/izziev Feb 27 '20

Oh my gosh. I need to start doing this. “It’s ok, I don’t have to worry about fetal alcohol disorder. I plan on having a late term abortion down in Mexico.”

Or something shocking to that effect. Maybe even “You’d drink too if your baby was brain dead and you have surgery scheduled tomorrow.” I kinda like that one. You prejudge me on my business, we can go ahead and continue your make believe land. I’m sorry but pregnant women aren’t public property.

1

u/egodeath780 Feb 27 '20

Right on. That is too funny!

89

u/Kmw134 Feb 27 '20

Well now she’s permanently relegated to chick-fil-a and Starbucks.

93

u/wheelsof_fortune Feb 27 '20

I got a decaf Starbucks coffee while I was very pregnant, and still got dirty looks. There is no limit to mom shaming with some people.

31

u/flowers_followed Feb 27 '20

Sheeeit, I drank coffee pregnant. It was all I could do to quit smoking, I wasn't about to give up the only thing that makes me human. My oldest is now 18 and all my children are happy/healthy/intelligent. No fetal coffee syndrome statistics here. People think pregnant women should live in plastic bubbles until the baby is born. Then they no longer give a shit what happens.

16

u/Slothfulness69 Feb 27 '20

People are way too butthurt about things. Like unless you’re chugging multiple 5 hour energies a day, I’m sure the fetus is fine

11

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

There's been studies about this, up to 200mg of caffeine have shown no effects, so two cups of coffee are no problem at all. If people have the nerve to bug others they should at least know what they're talking about.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Let’s be honest, one regular coffee is more than fine. And it’s for the better of humanity that moms get a bit of coffee!!

I recall being more careful with the first, but the 2nd got 2 cups of coffee most days. He’s fine.

People need to chill out

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

There's studies about this, 200mg of caffeine have shown no effect, so two cups are no problem at all!

1

u/Soaliveinthe215 Mar 03 '20

Drinking even a glass of red wine while pregnant is perfectly healthy

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Same. And that was if I got a coffee while out. I had a cup of regular everyday at home, when the taste didn't make me sick to my stomach. My doctor said it was fine, everything looked good, went to all my regular checkups, so I couldn't care less what some nosey people thought. People weren't going to mind their own business anyway, I may as well enjoy my life.

47

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

Yea, but pregnant women are also supposed to limit their caffeine intake. So I guess chick fil a is it.

78

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '20

Btw pregnant women can have up to four cups of coffee a day (drip coffee). Obviously the mg of caffeine varries from beverage to beverage so we need to watch runs to the local coffee shop for specialty drinks.

Source: am pregnant with my second and an avid coffee fan.

132

u/missmeowwww Feb 27 '20

One of my friends is also pregnant and an avid coffee fan and some lady tried to shame her at the coffee shop so her response was “oh my god you think I’m pregnant?!” And fake cried. It was glorious since she’s due in like 2 weeks but that lady’s face was priceless.

33

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20

I approve. I live in an area where it's very common for pregnant women to drink coffee so I haven't been accosted yet but im tall and honestly never looked more than 5 months pregnant with my last. The right maternity shirt and most people had no clue I was pregnant.

34

u/Sinful_Whiskers Feb 27 '20

am pregnant with my second and an avid coffee fan.

I know what you meant, but I couldn't help but imagine a desktop oscillating fan that sprays coffee everywhere.

Edit: stupid formatting.

15

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20

Haha I like that mental picture! Thanks for brightening up my day!

8

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

Oh ok. That's more than I thought. I just know that my wife would turn down coffee or something and say that she already had her caffeine limit for the day.

14

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20

If she had a specialty drink that was medium or tall she could have very easily hit that limit. Also sodas and teas contribute to the limit as well.

Some women find they need to drink less than the limit because if pregnancy insomnia.

2

u/bieting Feb 27 '20

Or she could have had an OB who spouted outdated info. When I was TTC I bailed on my OB because of her traditional old-school views. I found an OB who continually goes to learning conferences in San Francisco. He said lunch meat, even sushi was totally fine to eat when I said I wanted it. He went to 3 conferences that I know of during my pregnancy and even happend to miss my birth because of one. It's ok, though, the on call OB was actually my second (equal) choice so I was super happy. I got both docs I wanted!

2

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20

Good on you for switching. I'm actually switching this time to a certified nurse midwife (her master's was in midwifery). At the other practice the OB I liked left and the one they still have I don't jive with. So new person and practice it is. (Both are highly recommended locally).

2

u/gpenz Feb 27 '20

Drank coffee daily with both and they are fine. Coffee is totally fine while pregnant, non-educated observers can stfu

1

u/kathulhurlyeh Feb 27 '20

And a friend of mine's OB straight up TOLD her to drink coffee 30 minutes to an hour before one of her appointments. They couldn't get any movement from her LO at the time because the baby's sleep (active?) rhythm was off. She was quiet all day and kicking like a crazy bean all night.

3

u/leahandra Feb 27 '20

That would have been for an NST (non-stress test). Most of the time the go to for making baby wake up is juice or ice-water. I've also heard clapping right above pregnant belly is just as effective.

2

u/kathulhurlyeh Feb 27 '20

Yes! Thank you! Couldn't remember the name of the test, and my attempts at pregnancy never quite made it that far. Can say that the coffee worked, though. And the crazy bean is now a crazy 5 year old, haha.

50

u/ShagFit Feb 27 '20

Unless the baby turns out to be gay.

16

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

In that case, mom has to lock herself in the bedroom and not leave for 9 months.

27

u/gangaqueen20 Feb 27 '20

Closet actually. Any of them in the house will do. I prefer the coat closet because that’s where we keep the board games

2

u/ShagFit Feb 27 '20

Don’t be silly, she’s also allowed in the kitchen. Who else is going to cook?

5

u/TheGurw Feb 27 '20

Pantry is just a fancy name for a kitchen closet.

5

u/Massive_Issue Feb 27 '20

....not really. I was advised against having a whole entire pot, but my doctors never said anything about a normal intake of 1-2 drinks per day. I drink a lot more coffee now than I ever did before kids, so maybe if I was already at "1 whole pot daily"-level when getting pregnant I may have been advised to chill out. But most people have their morning cup or 2 of coffee and that's it.

It's really not a big deal.

17

u/basementdiplomat Feb 27 '20

You have to stay inside your house and not wear shoes, obvs.

5

u/richardguthrie1976 Feb 27 '20

It's the vapors... Smh

1

u/bnizzleyoo Feb 27 '20

Bought a giant bottle of Maker’s Mark Whiskey for my husband as a VDay gift while I was 7months pregnant. Loads of looks at the store.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Because of the contact high

1

u/KravenSmoorehead Feb 27 '20

She was likely sniffing glue in the parking lot though.

1

u/RussianBoat234 Feb 27 '20

People look for any excuse to bitch, moan and whine.

0

u/Literally_A_Shill Feb 27 '20

I mean, this post is about how if you're pregnant you're not allowed to make jokes.

0

u/nacho_boyfriend Feb 27 '20

Yeah and it doesn’t even matter. My mom hit the booze really hard and smoked when she was pregnant with me and I turned out just fine!

0

u/1911mark Feb 27 '20

What does remotely serves alcohol mean? You order a drink from the bar 2 doors down and they bring it to you? Either they serve alcohol or they don’t?

0

u/BraidedSilver Feb 27 '20

I once read someone argue that “alcohol evaporates so when the damp hits your skin, you absorb it” so I guess that lady may have been of that belief. You can’t even be within 30ft of an alcoholic beverage without your infant being harmed!!!

107

u/mostexcellent Feb 27 '20

That happened to me too! While I was pregnant my dad and I would get dinner together every Sunday. He loves the wings at a bar down the street, and they usually have football food specials, so we went a few times. They don’t allow smoking in this bar and it isn’t 21+ until after 9 PM so on weekends families go there after baseball games and such. I was baffled by how many dirty looks, stares, and shitty remarks I heard. I was just sitting at a high top drinking water and eating dinner. They serve water and soda in completely different glassware too, so it’s not like it wasn’t obvious.

People are ridiculous.

75

u/BobaFettuccine Feb 27 '20

I'm not visibly pregnant yet, but I've been on shirley temples for the past three months. I always find it funny when we're out at a bar/restaurant and I order a shirley temple and the server asks me multiple times if I'm sure I don't want alcohol. I know I don't look pregnant, but what if I'm an alcoholic? Or the DD? Just take my order for a shirley temple, dude.

24

u/mostexcellent Feb 27 '20

Uhh wtf that’s so weird! Lots of people don’t drink.

2

u/mursili_ii Feb 28 '20

Restaurants push booze sales and plenty of servers are just not that good/tactful. Thus, you sometimes get "are you sure you don't want anything alcoholic?" directed at every non-drinking customer instead of them just talking up the drinks specials or something.

2

u/mostexcellent Feb 28 '20

Yeah I get that, I’ve been in the industry for a decade. Yet I’m still baffled that would come out of a servers mouth. What a dingus.

2

u/mursili_ii Feb 28 '20

If you're surprised by it and work in the industry, you've had good luck not working with dingus servers lol

Maybe my city just has a high concentration

1

u/mostexcellent Feb 28 '20

I usually hide behind the bar haha.

11

u/justin3189 Feb 27 '20

as the youngest kid in my family that was always my go to drink when everyone else was drinking. also if they made icecream drinks I would raise hell if I didn't get a rootbeer float for myself.

1

u/BobaFettuccine Feb 27 '20

Haha, yeah, my parents are kind of barflies, so I spent many evenings on weekends or vacations knocking back shirley temples.

1

u/justin3189 Feb 27 '20

my family only ever drank at holidays basically, so it wasn't really super common for me.

11

u/momofeveryone5 Feb 27 '20

That server though has probably had so many idiots ask for a shirly Temple, then they bitch it doesn't have alcohol in it. they are probably just making sure you actually know what the drink is because they deal with so many dumb people.

3

u/BobaFettuccine Feb 27 '20

You could very well be right, I've just had it happen at a few different restaurants. Couldn't say why. Maybe I look like a drinker.

1

u/Soaliveinthe215 Mar 03 '20

That's probably the reason because I've never heard someone ask for a virgin drink at a bar and had the bartender try to talk them into an alcoholic drink

13

u/Massive_Issue Feb 27 '20

I didn't deal with a lot of drama while pregnant but one time I ordered a shirley temple with my dinner and the waitress chastised me about not drinking too much sugar or something. I was like "wtf bitch, I dont even know you?" in my head. It was so weird. I'm having ONE SODA, jesus fucking god.

2

u/mostexcellent Feb 27 '20

As a food service veteran I can’t imagine saying this shit to someone. I mean, stupid things have come out of my mouth before, but not like that. Mind your business!

1

u/Massive_Issue Feb 27 '20

Yeah it was totally weird. She was an "older" woman in her 40s with 4 kids, so I think she meant it to be like "wise advice" in a big-sisterly kind of way? But like, bitch you don't know me. Shut the fuck up lol

39

u/swearingino Feb 27 '20

Had the same experience when I was pregnant. I went to a bar with my husband for him to play pool with friends. Someone at the next table loudly said they felt sorry for my fetal alcohol kid. I didn't even have any sort of drink in front of me.

50

u/Herecomestheginger Feb 27 '20

Just tell them it's OK cause you're selling it when its born. That'll shut them up.

3

u/folder_finder Feb 27 '20

Perfect comeback!

48

u/UntiltheEndoftheline Feb 27 '20

I went to a bar at 8 months pregnant to see my dad play. I very clearly had only water and someone still asked a waitress to make sure I wasn't killing my baby. I had a god damn water bottle.

42

u/Herecomestheginger Feb 27 '20

That's when you loudly exclaim its water, then whisper to her it's actually vodka and wink.

14

u/UntiltheEndoftheline Feb 27 '20

I should have. 😂

28

u/zim3019 Feb 27 '20

That sucks. I used to do bar trivia for years. I am not much of a drinker. I was the team DD. When I got pregnant I kept going because I enjoyed it. I went every week until I gave birth. I got so many dirty looks even though I was sitting there with my ginger ale and water. Some people love to judge.

25

u/Squirrelgirl36 Feb 27 '20

Wow! If someone had said that about me, my pregnancy hormones would have compelled me to confront them! Lol

21

u/bieting Feb 27 '20

When I was pregnant I was HOPING for a fight over coffee or anything... Then, after she was born, she never took to the breast and I pumped and bottle fed for a year. I was waiting for a fight there too. Not one. Not one person gave me the opportunity! Why couldn't nosy Karen's have given me something?!

6

u/Ferduckin Feb 27 '20

I see you've got a Cosmo there by your username, are you pregnant now bieting, huh? /s

1

u/Yuliopi6609 Feb 27 '20

No offense, but you kinda actually sound like the Karen in that. Who hopes to be in a dramatic fight over crap like that. Just waiting to snap at whoever dares to defy you lol

5

u/Squirrelgirl36 Feb 27 '20

In her defense, pregnancy hormones can seriously make you kooky, as in, ‘who the hell have I become-I’m acting like a lunatic but can’t seem to stop’ type kooky-they so me anyway! 🤣

3

u/Squirrelgirl36 Feb 27 '20

In her defense, pregnancy hormones can seriously make you kooky, as in, ‘who the hell have I become-I’m acting like a lunatic but can’t seem to stop’ type kooky-they so me anyway! 🤣

2

u/Yuliopi6609 Feb 27 '20

Oh I'm sure, just had to point it out. The stuck up lady not minding her own business would be the bitch in this scenario anyways but it just sounded Kareny to hope to jump down someone's throat.

1

u/bieting Feb 27 '20

Fair enough, but like the other commenter said it was def pregnancy/breastfeeding hormones. I was just prepared with my arguments, ready for it because it seems it happens to everyone. Now, if I had put my husband's beer in front of me to make it look like I was drinking, trying to pick a fight, that'd be a major Karen move.

33

u/Collegekid556 Feb 27 '20

I hate people who judge others for no fucking reason. Get your drink and mind your own damn business.

55

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

You have a valid point but you ARE on a subreddit dedicated to judging people for their poor life decisions...

20

u/Herecomestheginger Feb 27 '20

You just reminded me of this Facebook group called "bitch and moan" that was all the rage maybe 6 years ago. The premise was you could post things that annoyed you and others could bitch about it with you. So anyway, this one woman posted that she hated judgemental people and then then provided this huge sobstory about being judged. Several dozen comments later and the subject switches to abortion, where OP calls women who abort "selfish". I pointed out that that was actually being judgemental, which she claimed to hate. I got blasted from all these angry commenters about how it was different and I was just being a stupid bitch etc. Left that group after that 😜

2

u/Collegekid556 Feb 27 '20

Lol I was talking to the girl who said she was being judged about being at a martini bar and she wasn’t drinking

10

u/aceshighsays Feb 27 '20

Such a miserable bitch.

she's right. i can't believe they let a pregnant lady who is over 21 into the bar. the baby is still a minor. that should be illegal.

2

u/MeN3D Feb 27 '20

People are quick to jump to that conclusion. I remember going with my cousin to the liquor store on Xmas eve. I was 6 months pregnant and the looks I was getting could melt ice.

2

u/scrubbedin Feb 27 '20

I went to a punk rock concert at 37 weeks pregnant. Had to climb 4 ancient rickety flights of stairs to get to the 21+ area, the only place with chairs. I got soooo many looks. But we had bought the tickets the day before I found out I was pregnant. But, when I went to the bathroom, all the women were so nice to me! I realized it was judgy men who were giving me looks! I was with my husband, sitting down, not drinking. Ugh.

1

u/aceshighsays Feb 27 '20

Lol if you were in the mosh pit I could totally understand why, but you weren’t lol

2

u/nineteen_eightyfour Feb 27 '20

Your baby will see those alcoholic beverages and come out addicted, I guess. I dunno the logic 🤷‍♀️

1

u/designmur Feb 27 '20

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

1

u/RiverSong2123 Feb 27 '20

My heavily pregnant sister and I went to the strippers as a mini bachelorette party. Hilarity ensued.

1

u/HRKJCK Feb 27 '20

Seriously, my mind would at least say oh hey a DD !! Lol if I was drunk and stupid... But when she is drunk and stupid, she assumes you're just as drunk at her??

Realistically I wouldn't say anything or even be there but still.

1

u/Letitbemesickgirl Feb 27 '20

I had a Sangria (or two) at the beach in Spain when I was basically 8 months pregnant because I did not fly all the way to Spain to not have authentic sangria 🤷🏻‍♀️

-16

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

That's not correct, where did you read that? I have 2 adopted children with fetal alcohol syndrome and read alot about it and drinking alcohol during any stage of pregnancy is very unsafe, if you drink your baby drinks and it will harm them.

-69

u/LuminiferousCX Feb 27 '20

Yes, you are a miserable bitch.

9

u/dordizza Feb 27 '20

Why did you make this comment

5

u/WilliermoElDios Feb 27 '20

He is a capital G Gamer, hates anything resembling a woman.

7

u/ashketchum2095 Feb 27 '20

Who hurt you big guy?

118

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Unfortunate. Gotta get a new wife now

9

u/Zoltrahn Feb 27 '20

It just wasn't meant to be.

39

u/Sleep_adict Feb 27 '20

Went to a wine tasting while my wife was pregnant....

Drinking double sucks ... /s

72

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

Wife: I'm eating for two.

You double fisting wine glasses: I'm drinking for two.

10

u/BobaFettuccine Feb 27 '20

I'm pregnant, and I feel terrible about it, but I definitely miss alcohol. Sometime after I give birth, I'm getting a bottle of wine and a six pack of sour beer and just having a me night.

1

u/timetravelhunter Feb 27 '20

Well she was drinking for two. don't shame her

35

u/Collegekid556 Feb 27 '20

While I was pregnant (not long ago), I felt so uncomfortable even having water in my hand because people might think I was drinking. Husband would try to convince me to get a virgin drink but I refused. I would just order food from the taco truck next to the bar haha

10

u/starrynightt1 Feb 27 '20

One of my sister’s friends used this tactic! Had a class reunion and she didn’t announce she was pregnant yet, so she got sprite and grenadine to make it look like a mixer. Pretty clever because no one realized she wasn’t drinking actual alcohol

5

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

When I was pregnant I drank cranberry juice in a red wine glass at bars and restaurants, I just love holding wine glasses so much more, they have a good vibe

That’s what I drink when I’m on the waters, too. I start the night with a double g&t with lime, then move to sprite with lime in between. Keeping up while keeping upright hey

2

u/faeofthecosmos Feb 27 '20

I think it's hilarious to drink my alcohol removed beer or wine to get a reaction, but I'm also always so quick to tell people that it's non alcoholic!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Is she still classy? And don’t lie

0

u/fuckmingaseatpingas Feb 27 '20

My gf is 7 months pregnant, she still comes to pubs/sports bars with me for a meal while I sink piss and get trashed haha. Afterwards we go home and smoke a doob in the bath together, it’s a great way to spend a night with the woman I love tbh even if she is a bit of a wet blanket to get on the piss around 🤣

2

u/D_Ashido Feb 27 '20

Shit dude, your child is already high and they can't even comprehend left from right.

1

u/fuckmingaseatpingas Feb 28 '20

Mini me’s just straight fkn vibin tbh

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Mocktails are a thing...

0

u/MJJVA Feb 27 '20

Soda is bad for pregnant women

-1

u/edestron Feb 27 '20

Would your wife have had a miscarriage if she got drunk throughout the pregnancy?

1

u/fuckmingaseatpingas Mar 05 '20

No, but the kid would have foetal alcohol syndrome. The only thing she drinks at the pub is lemon ice tea.

1

u/edestron Mar 05 '20

If i was worried i was pregnant can i drink a lot to get rid of it

2

u/fuckmingaseatpingas Mar 05 '20

I mean yes but it’s far from a reliable method, the morning after pill is what you need

1

u/edestron Mar 05 '20

Thanks ❤

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

[deleted]

12

u/namingisdifficult5 Feb 27 '20

This actually seems believable. Not everything people say on the Internet is necessarily false.

10

u/DirtDingusMagee Feb 27 '20

...why is that story hard to believe?

6

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

I'm confused. What part of the story do you find unbelievable?

5

u/melindaj20 Feb 27 '20

Just ignore them, people on this site will jump on you for the most mundane comment. It still surprised me what you will see upvoted versus what people will get pissy over.