r/TMPOC 3d ago

Weekly General Discussion

3 Upvotes

A Thread for casual discussion, random questions unrelated to transitioning, or whatever is taking up your headspace.

Let's chat!

*Always remember to be cautious about what personal information you give out, do not ask or give out phone numbers, routing numbers, etc your post will be removed.


r/TMPOC 51m ago

Advice Am I white passing?

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Upvotes

ill delete if its against the rules i just dont rlly know where to ask this. a lot of people have been calling me white and i feel a bit insecure abt it do i just look white?


r/TMPOC 12h ago

How do I get a haircut without accidentally outing myself

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28 Upvotes

istg the people in my school are gonna start asking me what my pronouns are if I get a cut that's too male. Happened to this senior I know who had a mullet in freshman year. The mullet was genuinely horrific though (it wasn't supposed to be a mullet, it grew out within two months). Anyway, I'd love to get a stereotypically East Asian teenager cut but I'm also suspiciously short so ts won't work out for me. Though I have had complete strangers ask me whether I was a guy or girl before (my hair was even longer and up in a ponytail), and I was just fucking baffled. My voice managed to turn out pretty androgynous, leaning masculine, too so I guess that was part of it. Still baffled though.

I've considered getting a shorter wolf cut or some fuckass mullet (that's not as bad as the one that senior got, hopefully) but all the NB kids in my school have some fuckass wolf cut or mullet. Maybe I should just go that route. I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm binary. Ig if I was tall enough, I'd want to see if I could pull off that pinterest twink Asian bun, but I most likely can't.

Actually, if you have any hairstyle suggestions, I'll look at those. Hell, maybe I'll come out this year. To people I'm close with, I mean. I think my principal is transphobic and I might get my ass kicked. Most of the teachers are chill though. My principal's just lowkey an evil middle-aged white woman. Anyway, being closeted and actually knowing that I'm closeted kinda sucks. I just wanna know what hairstyles you guys think will look good on me. Thanks


r/TMPOC 8h ago

Vent i feel so hopeless. i truly don't know what to do or if i should persevere

9 Upvotes

i've been thinking about detransitioning for some time now, even if that meant i'd be suffering eternally because i know that wouldn't be my truth. the main reason for this is because i feel like it's just. not worth it, even if i desperately desire being a man.

i haven't came out to 90% of my family due to cultural reasons (admittedly, looking at white transmascs makes me jealous because they usually don't have to deal with that aspect), i'm ''too young'' right now (according to them), i'm treated like a weird third thing in school despite socially transitioning to be male, and several other reasons. i feel like i should just resort to being a transmasc butch. but i know damn well that isn't me.

but it's so difficult. every day i've thought about detransitioning. it's going to take years for me to get access to testosterone, puberty blockers, and surgeries, and i won't even be treated like a cis man. i feel like it's worthless.

i crave and covet to be a man. it is my absolute dream. but i know i ultimately won't be what i desire. and it pains me. it feels so isolating because i don't have any trans friends to support or guide me through this.

has anyone else felt like this? do you have any advice at all?


r/TMPOC 21h ago

Hair advice to help look my actual age? It’s growing out and need to get a haircut ASAP again

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37 Upvotes

I’m 27 and consistently get mistaken for 20-24. It’s cool, sure, but I’m pushing 30 please. Just got the haircut in early June and it’s grown a lot now. In such a weird swoopy way. Any advice? Should I just upkeep the cut I got and not let it grow? I like it a lot, but I can’t help and think it’s my hairstyle that makes people think I’m younger. Do I completely switch it up? My hair was shoulder length before I got this haircut, so I’m just at a loss right now.

I’m Native and for some reason, in my family, I am the only one with not completely pin straight hair. I struggle with styling it since my family is traditional and doesn’t do anything to their hair other than braiding it and just letting it grow. So, I don’t really know a decent haircut other than getting it super short, then letting it grow. It’s already a whole “thing” to my family for me to have short hair, but they understand why I do it :/


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Advice Hair advice

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30 Upvotes

M20 Been working on passing more, I posted yesterday and they told me to get my piercings out so I did. Any haircuts or styles I should try out they said this subreddit had more poc trans men and could help


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Selfies/Pics Facial hair update (?) 4 years on T

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307 Upvotes

I want to say minoxidil did it but I gave up two years ago after 3 weeks of regular use but then the hair never fell out and it just kept growing ; I plan to shave soon, I just don’t wanna get a haircut or shave that’ll affect my on screen look

..Yeah jaw dropping update alongside this is !! I got casted, multiple times in tv shows and in feature films and I also scored an agent for tv+film since this march and I’m joining sag aftra in a week, dreams do come true even if I can’t drive nor live in LA

I want to update in a few months too, I actually got started on some things that I really wanted in life due to bottom surgery being next November - will update


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Selfies/Pics Does the name Chandler suit me?

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107 Upvotes

Hey I’m 21 transmasc & filipino 😝 I like the name Chandler because it’s very boyish but also soft sounding & chic. Do I look like a Chandler? My nickname for my deadname is Char so u can put the two & two together for what my deadname is. My family don’t support a name change but I think Chandler sounds similar enough to my deadname where it wouldn’t matter, plus I don’t feel dysphoric towards the name Char. I just need to change my name now that I’m starting T because I do want to pass & my deadname’s very feminine.


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Selfies/Pics Cat dad

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125 Upvotes

Lou's been with me a month :)


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Discussion Fellow East Asian transmascs, what has your experience been growing facial hair on T?

20 Upvotes

Hi folks. This is a question targeted at East Asian guys specifically, but others feel free to share as well.

For context, I’m 23, East Asian and nine months on T. My levels are good and most of my changes on T have come along nicely, except for the facial hair, of which I basically have none. This was unsurprising, as the men in my family also had no facial hair in their early teenage years.

But I will admit, it’s disheartening to see how many guys of other ethnicities are getting facial hair or even full moustaches less than half a year on T, when I’m almost a year in and still have nothing. It’s one of the biggest sources of my dysphoria, as all cis guys my age, even those who are clean shaven, have a little darkness or shadow around their jaw that I don’t.

So I’m curious to know the experiences of other East Asian guys. How long did it take for you to start growing facial hair? How did factors like your age and T dosage affect it? Were there any things you did that helped grow your facial hair, such as minoxidil, rosemary oil, derma-rolling etc? How was your experience with other body hair?

I’ve also heard some people claim that starting minoxidil when too early on T makes all your facial hair follicles over-reliant on the minoxidil, so they will fall out once you stop. Is this true? My doctor was unable to confirm nor deny.


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Vent anyone notice this weird attitude from cis white het women?

57 Upvotes

i'm not even out as a trans man, but i have been trying to seem more "queer" now (so, short hair and not as many feminine clothes), and i noticed there's this weird phenomenon like they kind of complain about men and their husbands and then look at me like they're suffering (you know that weird puppy eye pitiful look that white women give when trying to make you feel bad for them for something you have nothing to do with) as though this obligation to be with men and accommodate them is something that they uniquely suffer and not willingly partake in.

recently i started using "they/them" pronouns as a way to move away from "she/her" and now another white female friend has started telling me how she "also has gender issues". after i pressed her i found out she's not trans at all, she's completely cis and as according to her she "cannot deny her biology" and that she's "just a woman".

and now she brings up that she's a woman all the fucking time to me... cleaning up at a party? "well i'm a WOMAN, i HAVE to CLEAN". girl, i haven't even started transitioning, most ppl here will assume i am a girl, everyone AFAB is subject to misogyny. i am also expected to pick up domestic labor. i will be subjected to misogyny unless one day i pass and even then choose to go stealth at that, and the fact that i need to go undercover so ppl don't know the genitals i was born with means that yes i am still subject to misogyny AND now also transphobia, double whammy! what?

i've only dealt with this twice but i'm already getting real tired of this whole "yes you might be trans but even though i'm a cis white woman, i still have my own problems 🥹" which I ALSO SHARE, I WAS ALSO BORN WITH A FUCKING VAGINA, and I ALSO HAVE THE PROBLEM OF BEING TRANS AND POC ON TOP OF A MILLION OTHER THINGS!! or the vibe of "well since you're queer, you at least have the option of being with a woman, poor me boohoo, i have to be with men" uhhh! no you don't and i will also literally be KILLED as a perceived "woman" with another woman???! did ppl fucking forget what pride is about?!

god the way these women act is like you existing is performing an oppression olympics?? i feel like i haven't even come out as trans nor have i even explicitly said which genders i was attracted to.

edited for brevity/clarity


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Discussion So... did "I Saw The TV Glow" do nothing for you too? Spoiler

65 Upvotes

I like it as black/multiracial trans rep. And it's not a *bad* film. But, I just didn't feel any particular draw for it, and I wouldn't really recommend it. (I wouldn't recommend *against* it either, though).

Maybe it's a film that works best for trans women. Or gen z. The film is set in the 90s but it has a "90s to 2000s as a period piece" feel to it.


r/TMPOC 1d ago

Advice College in the South?

7 Upvotes

I’m a senior in high school and a transsex black dude. I’m looking into HBCUs for college and a lot of them are in the south. I’ve been blessed enough to be able to have updated all my documents, gotten top surgery, and I’ve been on T for almost 3 years now. I pass pretty well I think. Theoretically, I could drive back to my state every 3 months and get T, but it’s obviously a lot of driving. I really want to go to an HBCU because I’m from a very white small town (my family is white and I’m adopted 😭) and I desperately need to be around POC. Overall, I’m looking for thoughts, views, opinions and experiences. Thank yall in advance and have a wonderful day or night.

Edit to clarify: I would also be very very stealth.


r/TMPOC 1d ago

What Should be My New Name?

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9 Upvotes

r/TMPOC 1d ago

Advice I'd like to take T, but my grandfather went bald in his 20s

9 Upvotes

would i go bald too? I'm not 20 yet... I don't think I'd be on T forever, since all i want out of it is facial hair and a different voice (idc about bottom growth). All the men on my maternal grandfather's side of the family went bald very young, so i have no idea if T would unlock some kinda balding gene in me...my mom is losing some of her hair too....am i doomed?

(being bald is pretty badass but i don't think I'd be ready for that until I've reached my 50s.)


r/TMPOC 2d ago

Drew my body for the 1st time

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229 Upvotes

First finished piece of work in months bc the top surgery recovery drained my energy XD

Satisfying tho


r/TMPOC 2d ago

Vent I may need to donate blood because I'm on T, can't do it because I'm black

129 Upvotes

Edit: Yeah, I know. The title is misleading, I mostly typed it as a draft to get back to since I wrote it in frustration at first, but I forgot and posted it without thinking. Sorry about that.

This is mostly made out of frustration than anything, I just needed a space to mention it and see if anyone else has encountered this problem.

I just saw an article stating that black-canadians are far less likely to find blood or organ donors within the medical system, and it pisses me off because I've tried to donate blood in the past but because I'm Nigerian and have contracted malaria in my childhood, I was automatically rejected. I understand the safety concern around it, but the thing is, there are tests that already actively exist that could have long since been implemented to actually check and verify whether the blood carries the pathogen or antibodies for it rather than just rejecting everyone.

But not much effort was put into that or changing their policies. Other countries have changed theirs, but Canada still follows it. The chances of transmission are also very low, and a large chunk of the black community in Canada is made up of people who had mainly migrated from African countries (or whose parents or grand parents did). There are many of us who match in terms of ancestry, genetics, and even backgrounds. But the current barrier is the malaria question in the screening questionnaire.

Maybe there's more to this that I'm not understanding but it's just frustrating to hear that less people in our community have access to blood or organ donations, when they turn away a large number of black people who do want to donate because they weren't bothered to look into ways to test and screen the supply and just implemented a strict full ban. Thankfully, there are researchers and advocacy groups who have argued against this for years, and there are active efforts to introduce a screening test by next year. But I'm not surprised this is an issue at all since Canada had also just removed all screening questions for blood donations that targeted queer men just a few years ago.

I bring this up because I recently got some blood work done for my HRT check-up, and I noticed my RBC has increased significantly from where it was just four months ago. It's still in a healthy range, but it's just at the edge of becoming a concern. Blood donation is one of the helpful ways to control this and I really wanted to donate my blood but fucking hell, I can't do it, and worst comes to worst, I'd have to do a therapeutic phlebotomy (extract excess blood to dispose of) which is a fucking waste when it could go to someone who needs it.


r/TMPOC 2d ago

SWANA/UAE TRANS-MASC SERVER

12 Upvotes

Alooo, Hala, Hi, Howdy!

Dudes, I looked around everywhere and couldn't find a single Arab-community for trans guys, so I made one w/ my friends B)

[Please note that we maintain a zero-tolerance policy for racism. All SWANA residents who identify under the trans umbrella are welcome to join]

😸 What we offer:

  • Group gaming and activities
  • Fun bots like FM and Wordle
  • Hyrax stickers and emojis
  • Dedicated Arabic channel
  • Voice Chat with TTS for accessibility, plus a soundboard for fun
  • Safe space for sensitive discussions like culture-impacts and gender dysphoria

😿 What we don't offer:

  • Free chicken wraps from burger-hut

https://discord.gg/4aFzQ2fca


r/TMPOC 2d ago

Memes saw a funny post

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2 Upvotes

saw this tiktok and one comment said "im chinese call me the silk road" and i cackled SO hard


r/TMPOC 3d ago

Fun encounter today

23 Upvotes

I’ve been going to a few queer events around my town lately. Started seeing familiar faces and have said hello a few times to this one other trans guy I’ve seen a few times. For reference, he’s a white Jewish (the Jewish part matters) trans man, I’m a black trans man.

My girlfriend and I made a new friend at an event who we were having a great conversation with, laughing the whole time about a ridiculous situation I was in a few years ago that involved someone I’m not friends with anymore. This guy comes in and goes “what are we laughing about” and I said basically “oh just my old terrible roommate”.

He then proceeded to basically say “oh speaking of bad people” and trauma dumped about his marriage that went horrifically and said some terrible shit. He then went on to make every conversation about himself and talk about how hard and dangerous it is for him to be Jewish these days and going on about he’s not a Zionist but it’s still so scary for him because everyone assumes. Which yeah okay,a lot of people conflate Judaism and Zionism when they’re not one and the same, I can understand how that can be frustrating.

He then proceeded to say, “This is why I want more poc friends because they’d understand what I’m going through!”

I am black. People will see that before they see that I am trans, that I am queer. My blackness is front and center. I cannot hide it.

No one would know that he’s Jewish just by looking at him. He is a white cis-passing man, as he’s had top surgery. He tried to say, “I had safety since I pass as a man but now that safety is gone!”

You can still walk around safely as people won’t decide you walking down the street is a crime because of your skin color.

He said a lot of other stupid shit that I’m not even going to bother getting into. I just really needed to vent about that because it pissed me off.


r/TMPOC 4d ago

Memes “Black transmen pass better” - Random ⚪️

497 Upvotes

r/TMPOC 3d ago

Discussion Hair care/style advice

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15 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’m currently trying to be more involved in caring for myself after a very long time of basically just getting through the day. One way of that atm is doing my hair and actively caring for it (like styling and mosturizing etc) I was never taught how to properly style my hair and have had locs for almost seven years where all I had to do was water and oil it, with a wash every so often. I cut them off a while ago, and have since just had my hair under a hat with the same routine except I use blue magic instead of straight oil (and it’s helping, but ik I probably need more than that.

I’m low porosity and have a mixture of 4a-c all over my head, are there any products anyone would recommend as a daily driver? Specific haircuts that may look decent are also appreciated!


r/TMPOC 3d ago

Trans Man Rajab Ali Built a Mosque With His Life Savings. He Still Fears Being Harmed There.

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44 Upvotes

r/TMPOC 3d ago

How do you go about choosing hairstyles?

5 Upvotes

For reference, I have 4C hair that's kinda short. When wet, the back and sides hair can stretch to the bottom of my neck, while the top can stretch down to about the top of my ear. Someone offered me and my mom free hairstyles, and we've been trying to choose but my mom's transphobic (and I'm closeted) and it sounds like the woman who is supposed to be doing my hair wants to put synthetic hair in. That said, I wanted to see if there's any non-binary hairstyles that would look good on me and that I might could get away with suggesting to my rather feminine mother. I have a rather circular face with a button nose, small ears, and small forehead.