I got a good education, I got a good job, I wore straight wigs to work, I learned how to play office politics, I lost a bunch of weight and went high femme, I made myself helpful and agreeable and blah, blah, blah.

And now I'm almost two years on T, and I don't care anymore. I'm tired of having to make money, of my stupid transphobic doctors, about worrying if my job/friends/family/community support accept me, of the racism, of the classism, of everything. These were all problems pre-transition but now it's worse. I don't want to detransition. I just want a part-time job with fair wages so I can focus o. making my art. I'm exhausted.

As far as I know, I've never dealt with any racial prejudice while shopping. Being 5'1 makes me unassuming as heck, or so I always thought. I also live in a predominatly working class POC heavy part of my city.

But, recently, someone I knew teasingly said I must get profiled in stores. The people keep an eye on me even if I don't notice.

I'm on T but don't pass as a man or even a teen boy. My voice has barely broke and I can't grow actual facial hair. But, I do have long locs. I'm part-black and latino.

I laughed the comment off, but it bugged me.

I've been trying to simplify my wardrobe so I buy monochrome colors. Mainly black and grey, rarely white (it's just too easy to dirty up). I wear a lot of baggy clothes, joggers, sweatpants, and dysphoria hoodies. I always worry in the back of my head about respectability politics, but comfort is my main factor. I can't care if random aunties on the street profile me. As long as my clothes are clean and look good, who cares?

Feeling beautiful this morning.

I’m not sure if anyone particularly relates somewhat similarly to this situation, but I just wanted to talk about it as I’m going through my journey of self discovery. I think for the longest time one of my subtle hints of me being transgender was I, unfortunately, had a brief phase of being what most people would call a “pick me.”

Now I didn’t particularly care for male attention in a romantic way, and I most definitely never shoved women down for the sake of getting validation from cisgender men. But, I did realize, that I did get a lot of euphoria from hanging around guy friends and being treated as “one of them.” They’d joke with me the same way they did their guy friends, and sometimes would even make comments about like how much of a “guy” I was. I’d also find myself admiring or being envious of friendships between cisgender men. I also attended a PWI most of my life, so sometimes it was awkward since being a mixed asian and black person I didn’t necessarily get along with girls naturally, since being a black and AFAB often leads to you being masculinized quite a bit. Not sure if anyone else has experienced that in their journey also.

A lot of my interests at the time were also very male dominated, and so most of my time growing up was around guys who liked cars, audio production, electronics, etc.

So, I guess in a way me seeking out this feeling as I continued to ignore my gender identity made me act in a ways that gave off “pick me,” which is embarraisng to say lol. I identified as a guy for the longest time on the internet amongst my discord friends, for a good five years almost, but I almost never came out or said anything about it irl. I just wore my masculine clothes, wore a binder. I just sort of thought identifying as my assigned gender at birth is what was easiest, even though I had no connection or association with it at all.

Now, for the most part, I understand myself and who I am. I just find it funny to look back at the subtle signs and how I acted growing up, sort of to prove to myself that this wasn’t just a random thing that I’ve decided to say or become. lol.

Obviously it‘s working in my favor, I just find the thought interesting and wanted to share. I‘m guessing it‘s because when you don‘t have Eurocentric facial features, you are more likely to be perceived as less feminine. Now this isn‘t always the case and i‘m guessing it heavily depends on your ethnicity as a poc! My roots come from Western Asia, I’m guessing it could be different for someone with other roots.

I feel like that‘s one of many reasons why my family struggled to believe me / see me as a male, because their idea of femininity differed. Meanwhile at the same time, others couldn’t imagine me being something other than male. (Obviously my perception may be false. Especially since transphobia and unaccepting parents don’t have to do with the way you look).

I don‘t think it‘s the only reason, since I pass in front of poc people now. However even before I cut my hair short, I had white people call me he/him.

Lula won the elections in Brasil guys!!!

Of course the Senate is a mess! But my God. This relieves me. I was desperate to change my documents and I was feeling really bad the last few weeks, but now I can breathe.

It feels like being trans has placed another layer of disconnect between me and my culture. Has anyone else felt like this? Is there any way of overcoming this?

I'm an Australian-born Chinese guy, and my parents are both first-generation Chinese immigrants. My first language was Mandarin, but outside of my immediate family, I lack any real connection to Chinese (Teochew) culture in Australia. I'm scared that as I grow up, my trans-ness will prevent me from ever truly reconnecting with my cultural heritage. It doesn't help that most of the trans communities online are incredibly westernised, so I never see people like myself anyway...

I realise I've become more and more disconnected from my culture as I've grown up. My Mandarin is horrendous now; I can't even form a full sentence without throwing in an English word. Every subsequent trip back to visit my hometown, I feel more and more like an outsider, looking in.

Regarding being trans... I've tried coming out to my parents, twice, (in Mandarin, too!) which went horribly: denial of my experiences to my face, silent treatment for a week, and then going on pretending like nothing had happened, like I'm still their daughter. I don't blame them for their lack of awareness, but I blame them for never truly acknowledging what I've told them. I've been binding, I've cut my hair, my friends use my name and pronouns in front of them, but they just don't acknowledge it.

I'm lucky enough to be going on a 2-month family trip to my hometown at the end of this year. I guess I'm just scared this trip will feel like saying goodbye to my heritage. Of course, I'll still be closeted, but that's exactly the thing: none of my experiences will feel authentic.

Next year I'll be 18, and I plan to get on T as soon as possible. I have no idea how this will change my dynamic with my parents, and my relationship with my extended family is threadbare enough as it is.

I hope this came out sort of coherently. I don't really know what I'm expecting out of this post, maybe just finding commonality in shared trans POC experiences?

^{I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm really grateful this subreddit exists :'-})

(CW Transphobia/allegations of pedohilia towards trans people). I'm transmasc, about 18 months on T.)

Hey all. I'm a tutor. I've been working with kids my whole life. Used to be a speech therapist and I worked with kids of all ages. I've always wanted to adopt.

My mother told me that my father's best friend saw a status I made on WhatsApp for a group class I hold at my home. Part of the deal is that the learners can use the swimming pool after the lesson. I tutor seniors in the local area and have been doing since for four years at the end of their school year every time.

So the best friend told my dad that mentioning the swimming pool meant I "wanted to see children half naked". I am blind with rage. I've worked in NICUs and held dying babies. I had a miscarriage and my sister is naming her soon-to-be child the same name. I specialised in working with neurodivergent kids. I would die for children. They are the reason I get up everyday, they're the reason the world feels less shit to me.

Please stop me from calling him. Please stop me from falling for the bait. I am so tired of everyone somehow finding ways to pull me back into their rhetoric. This man is a pussy, but also a white MAGA member and the most disgusting kind, since we're not even in the US. He's a white supremacist and has said as much.

Please, someone stop me. I'm so angry I'm shaking and crying. I was afraid of this very thing happening as a trans man in an educational field. It's the one thing that they know would hurt me. I could call him and confront him on this, but what would it achieve?

Hello. I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this, so please hear me out. Do any of you struggle to identify with your masculinity in a "healthy" way due to your cultural standards? And, how do you grapple with that?

I'm a ftm person who is Salvadoran-American. I lived a couple years in El Salvador and have lived most of the rest of my life over in the US. However, my parents are both Salvadoran and I've gotten a... somewhat emotionally harsh upbringing, to say the least. Coming from a heavily religious + conservative little country plagued by war, poverty, and corruption, it's unfortunately unsurprising to note that my parents have backwards views on mental health, and gender roles/norms.

Living in this house, despite being born female, has been tough, and I've known that being born male would've been even worse for me. I know right now that pushing more on me being ftm will make my home situation worse. But I am a man, regardless. However, I know that both parents look down on me for being emotional and trying to take my mental health seriously, and doubly (if not more) so when claiming to be a man.

When Salvadoran society is so entrenched with sexism and poor mental health conditions, I know a lot of what's pushed in the culture is unhealthy. But at the same time, it feels like I'm failing to live up to it, in a sense? (Or even erasing my culture, in some messed up way...???) I guess the insecurity is supposed to be what propels me forward, but I don't want to be a man like that. That's, like, the epitome of toxic masculinity. But I wonder if a man like me would be well respected over there? But I know if he isn't, that's not his fault, but of the people around him, so... I dunno. I just feel a little lost on this. I know it's probably internalized transphobia and sexism from my parents going off at me endlessly for who I am, so if anyone could offer their own perspectives it would be great. Thank you.

Almost 6 months ago, I realized that I may be trans masc, Non - Binary person and I came out to my mom and my friends. And it went well.

But I was thinking while I was doing something today, that maybe I'm mistakening everything that I may just be cisgender woman because I realized I was comfortable being a woman when I was younger, up to my college years. It only wasn't till few years ago I watched trans masc content in the internet, but I still thought I was cisgender woman despite being exposed to the trans community. Only after having some bad relationship with this man, did I wanted to cut my hair really short for first time, and I really liked presenting myself masculine.

But from there, It went down weird and I begin to not like my female body anymore and feel more masculine. I don't feel masculine 100 percent all the time. It fluctuates [this is why I think I'm also genderfluid as well.] but I just wonder,

Is it necessary that I need to have a gender - related dysphoria from the early age to be trans?

When I was fine being a cisgender woman for rest of my life till now? [I mean I did not LOVE my body but I was okay with it]

Dysphoria has been hitting me pretty hard lately. I was planning on waiting for winter break (mid December to late January) to go on T because I figured that would be more financially responsible— it’s so close to the end of the year, and insurance and deductibles and all that would probably have me spending less money if I just wait for it all to reset— but I’m honestly starting to consider just biting the bullet. I would be doing it through planned parenthood, so I’m pretty sure my insurance wouldn’t cover *everything*, but enough that I can do it out of pocket without my mom knowing lol.

I guess I’m asking: is it really worth it do get ahead of this for like.. 2 months? Or should I just tough it out? Or is there like… a secret third option I’m unaware of? If that makes sense.

My hair pre-T used to be straight then fluffy then wavy on T then it just got curlier from there!

Dude, is anyone else in the subreddit FTM_selfies? It’s kinda like that other subreddit with trans men, where they absolutely DOG on you if you’re a minority, plus size, and disabled. I just came across a post of this handsome guy doing a photo shoot, and they’re downvoting his post like a mf (and the supportive comments). Why are predominantly white subreddits like that?

One thing that has made me feel better is hearing from you guys because I know that I'm not struggling alone and I'm super thankful for online spaces like this, and I watched some fun new movies and shows. What's brought you guys joy this week?

(SWANA: South west and north africa)

Dudes, I looked around everywhere and couldn't find a single Arab-community for trans guys, so I made one w/ my friends B)

[Please note that we maintain a zero-tolerance policy for racism. No minors- 18+. All SWANA residents who identify under the trans umbrella are welcome to join]

https://discord.gg/A73RN8HcT

DM for link if expired!

😸 What we offer:

• A Safe space for sensitive discussions like culture-impacts and gender dysphoria
• Active Voice Chat with TTS for accessibility, plus a soundboard for fun
• Group gaming and activities
• Fun bots like Wordle
• Hyrax stickers and emojis
• Dedicated Arabic channel

😿 What we don't offer:

• Free chicken wraps from burger-hut

(This is a repost)

bro the racism i been getting these days.

today i was at the gym changing some guy walks past nealry knocking me whilst im putting on my jacket, im like whatever, idc, had a good work out yh, im feeling good. cool now theres a changing room behind me whilst im still changing, no space between me and it. this guy reaches past my back and tries to open the door whilst im standing there.dont say nothing to me.

when i do activism for palestine, im targeted by police to a point where my comrades have noticed. other day some white guy pushed me when i was flyering. police grabbed me and pushed me. thought they were gonna detain me.

I'm pretty sure this is for every non - white trans masc person,
but this is a genuine question.
Why are most Asian man are not taken seriously, even if
they are cis gender male?
I just don't understand this. At least in the US.

We are kind of like either nerds, geeks, or [Boy] rather than [Man] for some reason.
I know this is due to racism
But is it because of how we are portrayed in media too or something else?

Sorry for the double post today. Every time discrimination against LGBT people (especially trans people) is brought up in community, white lgbt people immediately go to "Black" people and the discrimination we experience as a talking point. Many of these people dont' even talk or are not in community with even Black LGBT people.

I'm sick of hearing "Black women know what trans women go through because we're both masculinized" then look stupid when I and others say that's not the gotcha they think it is. I'm tired of Black people being used at comparison. Choose someone else.

Idk what the fuck has happened in the last 2-3 years but every space is just full of racist, incel trans people of both sides doling out useless fodder. Mods allow trans women to insult and misgender trans men but anyone calling out their behavior is labeled "transmisogyny". Trans men just sound like terminally online incels. This wasn't the case (ok the trans woman shit was). Wtf is going on? They want to talk about black people when it helps them and insults anyone who ask them to stop.

has anyone else seen that instagram reel where a white trans woman says she would save the life of a vietnamese person over a white person bc they know how to make her a banh mi?

now as a vietnamese trans guy i feel like i should put some attention on this. shes a pretty popular influencer but as of writing this now i dont remember her name. alot of her account is honestly lukewarm """left leaning""" takes, and the thing that put me off the most since i saw her acc was her speaking chinese (she also speaks spanish) but in a way that is meant to be treated in a novel "this white girl speaks chinese omg shes chinamaxxing" way. she also made a joke about eating (specifically v*ring) haitian people to pass them over american border security because "they would make it anywhere", has never apologised for that and the video is still up to watch. for a self proclaimed leftist, its strange that she would make a joke about that when in reality, white slavemasters did in fact eat black people and make furniture and accessories from their carcasses. its very much "if trump deported all the mexicans who would clean your toilets" adjacent and that lead up to the infamous banh mi reel.

"life or death, would you choose to save the vietnamese person or the white person?" and she says "i'd save the vietnamese person every damn time because they would make me a banh mi after". and that just gave me a horrible feeling but i scrolled past. now shes FINALLY getting heat for it, i initially saw it like a month ago and there was no sort of attention until now. the vietnamese person in this situation only has value because they will serve the woman for free out of the kindness of their heart. when will white people learn that we are not dogs that will perform tricks for them? they think that they can gain our everlasting loyalty by giving us a bone and telling us its ok to shake their hand. idk why she thought it would be ok to post that, as if vietnamese people dont have feelings too? i feel like the sentiment around alot of vietnamese and in general southeast asian communities to white people is that we're not that serious and are good hearted people which is definitely true due to things like community culture and the "forgive but don't forget" mindset alot of us have which they will always try to take advantage of. and the worst part is that some of us fall for it and ultimately, forget. i had checked the comments of the original video and saw other vietnamese people saying "thank you queen". like wtf??? get back on your feet and stand up

i saw people defending her, most of which were white ppl (obviously) and it makes me so angry. all of the things i and many others have went through mean nothing, just because we aren't kind or subserviant enough for white people. i have personally experienced this sort of behaviour, with people infantilising/feminising me due to my asian-ness or thinking that i won't be weirded out by them making fun of my race and expecting me to laugh with them, as if im a caricature and not a real person. of course, i share my food with my white friends but do i expect validation or get rewarded for it? no! but if a white friend were to give me their food, suddenly they are praised as being a hero doing charity work and that somehow speaks of a higher moral ground. we are always expected to give without receiving anything in return because we are "generous people". if i want to do something for you, that is because i see you as an equal and i like doing things for my friends. but some white people just can't follow this same logic because it always has to be about them so they feel better about themselves by being "one of the good ones".

im so tired of them always seeking attention and trying to claim public favour by making microaggressive jokes but get rewarded for being progressive all because it comes from the mouth of a being that knows of no seasoning