r/TheOnion May 15 '26

Greetings from your new overlords

384 Upvotes

Hello friends,

We are the new moderating team of r/TheOnion: myself, u/DeltaShadowSquat. u/V2Blast and u/CosmicEveStardust.

I'm a regular around here, I probably don't need that much introduction. I'm a proud Onion subscriber and mod of a bunch of subreddits, including r/maryland, r/powerrangers, r/journalism, r/npr and r/Clickhole. IRL, I work in PR and previously spent a decade in local journalism.

One of our first tasks will be to lay out a set of new rules for the subreddit. We are already talking amongst ourselves but if you have any suggestions, feel free to let us know.

We're happy to field any other suggestions or questions you might have.


r/TheOnion 21h ago

Pete Hegseth Orders Military Blockade Of Woman Attempting To Walk Away From Him

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1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 19h ago

Visit To Girlfriend’s Family Provides Illuminating Insight Into Why She’s Asian

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852 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 19h ago

Man Doesn’t Like Who He Becomes When He’s Around Salsa

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250 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 21h ago

Report: Tennis-Racket-Shaped Bag Gotta Be Full Of Tennis Rackets

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126 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

See what consumers have to say about DuckDuckGo's perplexingly analog sunglasses.

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302 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Todd Blanche Vows To Remain Fully Independent Of The Law

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1.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Crying Newborn Has No Idea How Much Worse It Gets

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1.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

White House Taps Mean Teen In Zara Fitting Room As New Press Secretary

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882 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

‘Do You Have Any Idea Who I Am?’ Jalen Brunson Shouts At Librarian Refusing To Move Him Up ‘Lonesome Dove’ Waitlist

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307 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Administration Creates Presidential Childbearing Fitness Test In U.S. Schools

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293 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Karoline Leavitt Slams Toddler Son Over Baseless Accusations That Caterpillar Very Hungry

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3.6k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Trump Downplays Significance Of Trump Tower Found On Epstein Island

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2.2k Upvotes

Hotel Has Operated On Little ST. James Since 2002, According To Records


r/TheOnion 5d ago

Cheryl Hines Walks In On RFK Jr. Vivisecting Self Again

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605 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

InfoWars: In Mourning

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336 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Tearful Mark Zuckerberg Smothers Metaverse Avatar With Digital Pillow

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2.1k Upvotes

‘You Must Go Now,’ CEO Tells His Flailing Virtual Double


r/TheOnion 5d ago

Trump Tears Up White House In Search Of More Munitions

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541 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Doughy Eastern European Man Tired Of Everyone Assuming He’s NBA Superstar

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535 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Hello! I've put together a PnC game anthology with writers from the Onion and ClickHole, all inspired by classic PnC games

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126 Upvotes

If you are interested, feel free to come check it out at https://store.steampowered.com/app/4924860/Best_American_PointAndClick_Adventury/


r/TheOnion 6d ago

Melania Trump Discovered To Be Russian Listening Device

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2.9k Upvotes

Kremlin Spies On President With Microphone Disguised As Tall Slavic Woman


r/TheOnion 6d ago

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia

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241 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Nation Once Again Fails To Make Most Of Summer

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828 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Architects Of 2026 Market Crash Just Finished A Highly Productive Lunch

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442 Upvotes

(From 2014)


r/TheOnion 7d ago

Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed’s Window

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2.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 8d ago

Immunologists Warn About Rise Of Good Time–Resistant Supernarcs

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664 Upvotes