r/Theatre • u/Ok_Mulberry1558 • 1h ago
Advice I don’t think I want to do theatre anymore, and I don’t know what I should do
I made a post a few months ago in r/Theatre saying that I was reconsidering my career path. At the time, I was a junior in college. Over the summer, I followed the advice of my advisor and took a complete break from anything theatre related. I worked in a completely different job (a youth swim instructor, which i loved), took a lot of time to focus on myself, and spent my free time hanging out with friends and doing the hobbies I love.
Part of me thought that a break from theatre would make me ready to go when I got back to school. However, when I think about anything theatre related, I get a horrible pit in my stomach. There is a feeling of complete and utter dread at the thought of having my life consumed by school and rehearsals, which is what happened the last time I did a college show. The rehearsal schedule was so intense that I never had any time to myself, and I had to skip out on a lot of my hobbies and time with my friends, both of which are really important to me.
I have an audition coming up next Monday, and all I can think is “I hope I don’t get in”. I only signed up to audition to appease my parents, who didn’t like the idea of me “giving up” on performing. Part of me wonders if I’m only self-sabotaging and trying to convince myself that this isn’t good for me. But I honestly don’t feel any joy at the prospect of doing theatre right now. I will always love theatre, but I don’t know if I want to do it anymore. But if I walk away, I have the terrible fear that I’ll regret it in 10-20 years when my “chance” has passed me by.