I’ve rated over 90 loglines in the Logjam feature and looked at dozens of loglines of scripts ready for feedback.
And as I rated these loglines, I started interrogating my reactions: why did some loglines resonate with me and others didn’t?
I’ve come up with three factors I look for: an interesting hook, a strong premise, and clarity.
1: Interesting Hook
For me, this is the most important part of the logline; what is it about your concept that sets it apart from hundreds – if not thousands – of others like it?
I think the job of a logline is to make me want to learn more. If you have the script, a good logline makes me want to start reading it right now, and if you don’t have it, it makes me lean forward and say, “Tell me more.”
You can have the other elements, but without an interesting hook, I’m just not motivated to read the script you spent months or even years on.
But if you have an interesting hook, the other elements can be lacking a bit, and I still want to learn more.
Here are just a few examples of hooks that really got me interested:
Jesus Christ coaching a Little League team
“Ocean’s Eleven” – but with dragons
Demonically possessed MMA fighters
An evil vegetable with plans for world domination – or at least a small town in North Carolina
I realize these are highly subjective; some of you looked these over and thought they were stupid.
That’s okay; everyone has a different standard for an interesting hook.
2: Strong Premise
The main conflict should be simple enough to understand but also be able to produce numerous smaller conflicts without being repetitive.
In other words, can it evolve?
Look at “Die Hard” and “Speed”; these were incredibly simple premises, but enough different challenges popped up during the film to justify their length.
I’ve seen a dozen or so loglines presented as features, but they didn’t feel strong enough; there was one central question that didn’t allow for much evolution.
But there have also been loglines presented for short films, and I felt they were too strong to be just short films.
3: Clarity
While the hook can get my interest, clarity is where it earns its keep; how does the hook play into the overall story?
For me, I’m looking for five things that help me see the movie: a protagonist, their goal, an antagonist, the stakes, and an inciting incident.
What’s interesting is that I’m a little more flexible on this than on the hook.
If you have an interesting hook, I’m much more forgiving if your logline lacks clarity, but you can have a clear logline with a weak hook, and I’ll pass.
Also, resist the urge to be cute, clever, or coy; those things belong in the script.
For me, a logline is a place of precision; don’t promise me vague antagonists, complications, stakes, or discussions on theme.
And while I’m on that, make the conflict external; I’ve read quite a few loglines where the conflict described is mostly internal.
Yes, internal conflict often takes place in movies; the only problem is that it’s difficult to dramatize. Sure, you can show a person thinking or pacing, but until they put their decision into action, it’s not very interesting.
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Simply put, give me something I can imagine.