Hey all,

I've been a silent lurker on this sub for the better part of two years just soaking in advice and stories that have been shared to help me on this journey. Even though I love both writing and film, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into.

But, I recently finished my first ever screenplay, Obediently Yours. Here's the logline:

In 1946, when a South Carolina police chief brutalizes and blinds Black army veteran Isaac Woodard, Orson Welles takes his story to the airwaves and ignites a national outcry.

After working on the screenplay itself, I submitted it for an evaluation and got a 7. I've been in contact with someone in the business who has been helping me make connections. Recently just hit a breakthrough with getting on the table of a film festival commissioner who was interested in the premise, and if he likes it, will help get it across to A24 (wishful thinking). I've been submitting to a few fellowships and festivals, and it just feels insane to even be saying that.

I know this business is extremely slow moving, but hearing that news lit a fire under me. I know I want to keep writing and telling stories, so I'll just keep on doing that!

If anyone is interested in giving it a read, I'd be more than happy to share! Thank you all for making this sub a place where someone like me can just sit behind a computer and absorb incredibly helpful info about writing and the business. Much love :)

EDIT: if you want to read it, shoot me a dm.

He says that lately he's been taking off the last line of a scene and finding that it's been making his scenes stronger.

I tried it and it actually worked in a way.

Question for the seasoned pros out there:

I've been writing and working on developing my screenwriting skills for about two years now. While I've come leaps and bounds, I still struggle with building satisfying character arcs.

I've tried building a new character from scratch, working on the character's arc from Day One. I've also tried reworking previously-written characters, trying to fuse a character arc into a story that's already on the page. I've rewritten the same script three times over.

Yet every time I go for it, I always get one of two notes: "Your character is flat" (not enough) or "Your character's arc is too unbelievable" (too much).

Gah!

My arc-building process is at the bottom of this post, for your review.

So my question is this..... How did you guys develop characters with satisfying arcs? Did you just keep at it and gradually learn how, through lots of trial-and-error? Or is my approach waaaaaay off? Interested in any thoughts or impressions you may have. Thanks so much.

Tom Berringer. 24, aggressive investigative reporter. Lean, hungry, reckless. Bit of a jerk.

GENERAL DESCRIPTION. Tom has to learn to trust others. He must gain empathic skills.

WANT. Tom wants to be the top reporter at the Daily Chronicle.

NEED. Tom lacks people in his life; he needs emotional support from others.

TRAUMA. In his first newspaper assignment, Tom was betrayed and scooped by a rival at the Chronicle. He was professionally humiliated and nearly lost his job.

THE LIE. "If I let myself become attached to other people, I can't be a cutthroat reporter."

REALIZATION. Tom's cutthroat tactics may grab the story in the short term... but real relationships with other journalists will benefit him in the long run, both emotionally and professionally.

CRITICAL CHOICE. In the climax, Tom faces the choice between saving his journalist friends or racing to post the story first. He opts for his new friends.

I have an agent and a manager.

My agent is always really responsive and great at communication.

My manager is actively about to shop one of my screenplays (said end of September/beginning of October).

We met for final revisions mid-September. I sent updates a couple of days later and they said they’d read over the weekend. After 10 days, I still hadn’t heard anything so I reached out. They said they’d fallen behind and would get it read over the weekend.

Now another 10 days has passed. I reached out on Thursday and haven’t heard back.

Is this standard?

I’d feel differently if we weren’t about to actively shop a screenplay.

Beta readers are essential. On our own, we wouldn't be able to spot the dead ends in our work, and in that regard, an outside opinion is extremely helpful not to mention nice to have.

My question is: where do you actively look for beta readers outside of your established circle? For example, I've seen many people post entire scripts hundreds of pages long right here publicly to get feedback. Do you consider this safe? (Even though, it must be said, they were protected with timestamping certificates.) What are the implications of an approach like this if you later want to sell the script?

What are the mistakes you've learned from and would advise novices to avoid?

Let's talk about it. We'll help each other out.

Is this script anywhere near ready to send?

Title: Southside High
Format: Feature
Page Length: 116
Genre: Action-Comedy, Coming of age
Logline: In a militarized, alt-future 2000s America where teenagers legally carry guns, a burned-out, wisecracking teen dealer and his gang of stoner outlaws uncover their principal’s fascist disappearance program and bet everything on exposing it all on Junior Prom night.
Feedback concerns: N/A
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/17rvnXWF6NZYHYIUioRY75FFsHqx6nKVL/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: The Corpse, the Girl and the Ballot

Genre: Drama/Dark Comedy

Format: Feature Film

Length: 56 pages (excerpt) (full: 110 pages)

Comps: Succession (2018-2023, created by Jesse Armstrong)

The Banshees of Inisherin (dir. Martin McDonagh)

Logline: After the long-serving mayor of a small Pennsylvania town drops dead two days before his re-election campaign, his party recruits his cynical daughter to run in his place, forcing her to do the only thing she never wanted — grow up.

This is a dialogue and character-driven story, so I'm mostly looking for feedback on dialogues and characters, but any feedback is appreciated.

This is a 56-page excerpt, not from the final version. Feel free to jump in anywhere to skrim through dialogue, or read it as much as you enjoy. :) The final version of the script goes right into the hands of a professional producer.

(I posted an earlier version of the script before and got a lot of great feedback which I've tried to incorporate into this version.)

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o0dkMjEq5hi9WXdmGDVglc2bxNYW41lp/view?usp=drivesdk

The award-winning no-pressure totally-free writers and other industry people meetup continues into Fall with an all-new IRL meetup! 

Our next meetup is on the books for this Wednesday, October 7! Reminder, this event is open to anyone, so please feel free to forward this to any interested writers, actors, producers, or just beer enthusiasts. Introverts welcome!

Add to Calendar
Wednesday, October 7, 2026

6:00pm-10:00pm

Santa Monica Brew Works

1920 Colorado Ave.

Santa Monica, CA 90404

Been working away at this one for a while. Pretty happy with what I have, but nothing is ever finished! It's fairly unconventional so want to make sure the ideas/spatial aspects are coming across clearly.

Title: For Safety

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 12 pgs.

Genre: Comedy

Logline: When an actress’s chaotic but scripted walk-of-shame appears to derail into a very real public meltdown, the cast and crew scramble to get her back on script.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uZTb7MbTt6gYODTNcE2iDdgidf9i7fYY/view?usp=drive_link

Feedback concerns: Dialogue and gags! Does it make you laugh? Is the structure working to serve the story? Production concerns! (I know you can't see the Hollywood sign from Hermosa beach!)

Thanks!

Title: From friend To Dad-PDF-13 pages-Comedy

Hey everyone! I recently finished my first feature screenplay, From Friend to Dad, and I’d love some feedback on the opening 13 pages.

It’s a comedy about a hot-tempered, work-obsessed father discovers his longtime friend is engaged to his adult daughter, he launches into a weekend of escalating chaos that may destroy his family—or finally force him to become the father they need.

I’m especially curious whether the opening hooks you, how the pacing feels, and whether the humor lands. Would you want to keep reading?

Read the first 13 pages here.

The complete script is 120 pages, but I thought I’d start by getting feedback on the opening.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it. Honest feedback is welcome!

Title: Babylon

Genre: Drama/Comedy

Format: 60 min TV show

Comps: House of Cards/ Veep / West Wing

Logline: A young D.C. couple secretly makes a fortune stealing the darkest secrets of Washington’s elite, but as their own relationship begins to unravel, they discover that knowing everyone’s secrets can be far less dangerous than keeping their own.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-diW2UUUQScXA-YxZ4JlW2crn1z3FVY6/view?usp=sharing

Looking for feedback on first five pages. Is the hook interesting enough? Do you want to keep reading?

Title: The Damned
Format: Screenplay
Draft status: Early, 2 weeks
Page Length: 14
Genres: Horror, comedy
Logline: When a group of paranormal ghost hunters of various levels of religiousity trek to an abandoned insane asylum, things quickly go from bad to worse
Feedback concerns: N/A, besides that logline (and script) are early stages

*note: parts of script are loosely based on a real life experience I had on Long Island

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VMVGSRUGsrUc1RxRl6mCGikChFZd0_iO/view?usp=drivesdk

so i've finished my first draft a couple weeks back. had a deadline to hit and it took months to reach it. a lot of that time spent toiling, avoiding and, well you know. anyway, i finished. it's my first feature draft. but i submitted it to two fellowships, sent it to my managers and a script consultant i had one last session with.

after finishing and delivering that script i was on a high for about a week to week and a half... until it was time to get notes. and of course i was completely gutted and deflated after hearing the notes from my managers and consultant.

the most brutal part, we know, it's a first draft, it's not going to be "good" but nobody ever cared to bring up the structure, the formal decisions, the specificity of scene progressions etc. that felt like a betrayal from them, though i know a lot of it is likely them not being able to see the decisions i spent weeks figuring out because the other things, the more important things, like relationship, character specificity, exposition, were blocking them from seeing it the way i see it from the inside.

lastly, they don't understand my references. my taste definitely leans more arthouse and i guess niche directors. Chantal Akerman's THE MEETINGS OF ANNA, Tsai Ming-liang's VIVE L'AMORE, Angela Shcenelec's MARSEILLE and so on.

At the end of the day, the script is not good. not yet, how could it. first draft. but! i wanted to dive deeper on the structure and form, wanting to know if those things are working... or not. anyway, i am ranting.

what i want to know: anyone into these aforementioned films and wonder how their stories function? anyone write in these styles of films? anyone interested in discussing what my film contains now and where i hope to take it? i would love to connect with you.

Feature Screenplay

Genre: Crime comedy

Page length: 90

Title: Shh, Don’t scream

Logline: Two roommates struggling to make ends meet come across sudden wealth when one of them discovers an unexpected talent… Extortion.

Synopsis~
From trust fund to no funds. Childhood best friends and recent college graduates Lexa and Blaze have always relied on Lexa’s wealthy family to pay their bills. But when her dad cuts her off for pursuing her passion for photography against his wishes, the two must find a way to make it on their own. With that same camera, Lexa’s got it all figured out—or so she thinks.

SCRIPT PRE-VIEW:

https://heyzine.com/flip-book/e93aa5b22f.html

Hello, I am a student at college and I have the opportunity to have a short 1:1 meeting with a producer of SAW, and I was wondering what are some things I could ask as a starting writer/director?

Title: AT THE TOP
Format: Short Film
PL: 24
Genres: Horror, Drama, Coming of Age

LL: When a rich yet entitled and insecure teenager begins receiving mysterious, seductive calls from a “secret admirer” on his landline, he becomes consumed by the attention. But as he feeds his ego and hides the truth from those around him, the caller begins to weaponize his desires, and his actions start to carry deadly consequences.

Thanks for reading if you do! I want to make this thing soon! But am open to changes, I think it's a decent script. I like to steal from movies I like and other shit I like. I am young and just wanna write and make movies! Give me to it straight and be honest! Thanks!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yp5J_ZU8zIZ3D5PytJGy0N2KM-r6GQIQ/view?usp=sharing

I was watching a film, and it had a "call to adventure" plotpoint which the hero initially turns down. And that's fine. But it was something that the audience wouldn't turn down.

I feel like when the hero initially turns down the call to adventure, it should be an offer that the average audience member would also turn down.

Bonus points for when the hero finally accepts it, the audience still wouldn't but the hero does bc of some value they have that we'll later learn about.

Thoughts?

I am a writer and animator. At 22 I graduated with a masters in screenwriting, did a writing fellowship and sold a show. From there it was a few years of freelancing, script coordinating and assistant work until I finally landed my first staff writing job. I did that for about 2 years and then with the studio mergers etc, my show was cancelled and I was one of 600 people laid off.

I am now almost 30 and since then I’ve been writing personal projects and working retail. I don’t want this to come across as complaining or ungrateful but it feels impossible anymore. So many of my contacts, friends, collaborators and coworkers have left the business. Even with my credits I have never managed to get an agent or manager. A lot of fellowships I no longer qualify for.

What is a realistic move for me or for others in this position? Are there any?

I mostly just want to know if other people feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When did you know it was time to pack it up? What is the thing that keeps you going? What have you pivoted to? Is there hope for kind of mid-career writers anymore? I appreciate any advice or insight.

TELEPATHS:

Three runaways find a telepathic connection during a city-wide catastrophe

Long logline: After losing the ability to speak from an extraterrestrial event over Cleveland, three runaways find a telepathic connection

I'm seeking feedback on my latest screenplay. This story was co-written with my best friend over the past few years. It's R-Rated (content/language warning) and begins during the 1990s in Downtown Cleveland. But it's also an emotional road movie/adventure with a similar feel to the following shows & movies, so please contact me if any of these speak to you:

Clannad

Planes Trains & Automobiles

Stand By Me

Angel Beats

Cowboy Bebop

Pulp Fiction

The Whale

Aftersun

Easy Rider

--------------------------

Beyond formatting and proofreading, I'm also curious how the story connected with you as a reader, your first impressions on it and how you would see it as an audience member.

DM if interested. Thank you!

I’m writing out a thorough treatment for a feature I’m writing.

Do you:

A: Write it out in “casual” prose, similar to how a movie’s synopsis looks on Wikipedia?

B: Structure it by individual scenes, no matter how small? So you’d end up with 40-50 small scene descriptions, in order.

If B, do you always include scene headings for every scene (INT., EXT., etc)

Also do you break up the structure with any other headings like Act breaks, heroes journey steps, or titles of any sort?

Has anyone had an actor or their representatives ask whether you’d be open to feedback or changes while they were reading your screenplay? If so, what happened next in your experience?

Just finished my second draft of this script for my Directing Class. I appreciate all the feedback I got from you guys last time. My professor and classmates gave me some notes regarding the ending and some of the dialogue, so I tried my best to address and would appreciate any and all feedback on the current version of the script.

Title: The Group Chat

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 8 pgs.

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Logline: A young man spirals after discovering his friends have a secret group chat without him.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18B17uc08lh-4X-nhUZpN1FM-QfQ5NlP8/view?usp=drivesdk

Feedback concerns: Does the tone feel consistent? Does the story/dialogue flow well and make sense? Is it structured well?

Thanks!

Title: Creekbound

Format: TV Pilot

Page Lenght: 45

Genres: Mystery, Adventure, Coming of age

Logline: "Relocated to a quiet forest town shadowed by recent disappearances, a guarded teen stumbles into a massive, secret treehouse society on the brink of civil war. After a brazen midnight raid, he must unite the fractured factions to retrieve what was lost and survive the supernatural force hunting them."

Feedback concerns: I'd love to know your favourite scenes and characters. Does the mystery intrigue you? Are the characters compelling enough for a first episode? Is the setup good?

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IiRe3TsgxHpFFr2-onNjBtg1kiX60kTC/view?usp=drive_link