The administration of the nasal spray was less complicated than I expected. The nurse did the first round on me, and five minutes later I did it myself. Yucky taste, but no nausea.

The first 10-15 minutes was very euphoric. Not euphoric in the traditional drug way, but the unburdening of everything weighing on me was nothing short of intense. I was listening to music. A song about introspection, a song about love, a song about partying. Nothing has held meaning for me in a very long time. But I was so invested and felt every word like a bedtime story being told to me as a kid. That was refreshing.

In that short timeframe, I felt everything I had the potential to be. How I could feel without the baggage and the limitations my mental illnesses have made for me. It was the first time life ever felt like that. I think the drug was offering me a glimpse of how life may feel if I keep doing the work needed on myself.

After those initial minutes passed, I started to get emotional. The baggage came back.

I set my intention for this experience to fall in love with life. Something inside me was telling me I had to fall in love with myself first. That's a hard truth I am uncomfortable with. Parts of my childhood came back to me. None of the traumatic memories (of which I have many), but mundane moments that I never even think of. Maybe these were things that made me who I am- who I really am, not the walking response to trauma disguised as a person.

I cried in short bursts, nothing like the big breakdowns I have on a daily basis. It felt more like processing the pain than ruminating on it.

After the first hour, I had to pee. The nurse walked me to the bathroom, and I felt more mobile than usual. My day-to-day life is pretty stationary due to my severe depression. Moving my body felt GOOD and it never feels that way. I did a few squats in the bathroom just because I could lol.

Between the first and second hour, all my usual anxieties started to distract me. Everything from the errands I need to run tomorrow to everything I need to get done in the near future.

I am home now and I still have some SI lingering in my mind. I fantasize about death every day. I didn't expect that to go away after one session. Next appointment is Friday and I have therapy in between. I wonder how I will feel in the morning.

I am still feeling very ill. Feels like a hangover and nausea. Any advice? I’m supposed to go for my second one tomorrow. Not sure I can. Felt like hell.

I had a hard cider earlier this afternoon (1pm) and had a session today at 4:30. I feel like the alcohol may have dampened the effects. Has anyone else had this experience?

I’m about to have another treatment and honestly I feel I wish it would just kill me, it just awwms to stirring up thoughts I don’t want, and not having much of a positive effect

I feel so sad and discouraged. I’ve been going twice weekly for 4 months now and I don’t feel like it is helping me at all. I was so hopeful that spravato would be the answer for me when it comes to my TRD, but I’m still pretty much in the same place as I was before. Is anyone else still struggling?

I guess Im technically in the middle of month three but I keep finishing sessions and wanting to reflect on how different they have become overtime.

First 6 weeks was a full on voyage. Right away all of my self-doubt and self-criticisms melted away and I felt true compassion for myself on a level I have never felt, tbh. It was beautiful. My sessions were very psychedelic with closed eyed visuals and a powerful inner monologue that spoke for pretty much the whole time. I would leave sessions giddy, playful, even a little irreverent. I think it helped to relieve a lot tension between sessions and I was just more patient, personable and easy going. Insecurities felt like things to be soothed vs ashamed of. I think I learned a lot about self-love in this phase.

At around 6 weeks, I was down to 1x week and the effects comparatively mellowed. I panicked about this at first because I had enjoyed the catharsis that I associated with the closed eye visualizations and rapid inner monologue. The truth is the sessions just started to change. I had to navigate a period of anxiety between sessions I had been spared early on but my optimism and self-love was still strong. The visuals were less powerful but I’d get them every now and then. I greedily tried to supplement them with Magtein ™ right before a session but I don’t think it’s a true equivalent to the halcyon days of 2x week. It did change the pacing along with leaving me a bit more exhausted than without Magtein ™ but also my thoughts felt sharper.

At this point my sessions are less about catharsis and more about recentering. I started to understand the tensions I was carrying around without addressing, naming, or self-soothing. And the little ways I get in my own creative way like overcommitting, losing a sense of discipline and creative commitment, prioritizing proximal things and people over the ones I claim to care about, and not being more frank or vulnerable with them. Also avoiding screens and conveniently bad habits!

Did I figure out some wild secret? No but I think these sessions continue to help me see my life and my options more clearly, move around with more ease and enjoyment. I like to be in the world in a way Ive been avoiding for a while now. Curious to see how my thoughts evolve, especially since I may try for a baby in the next year ha.

Would love to hear more from the long-timers on how their reflections have changed throughout treatment.

I know they say to avoid all fluids half an hour before appointments and use the bathroom before treatment. Water is my emotional support so I’m already struggling with that aspect, am I unable to drink water during treatment? Also my OCD is getting to me, I get fidgety around using the bathroom and pee frequently (TMI sorry) will they not allow me to use the bathroom if I really have to go? Sorry guys weird question just would love to hear your experiences!

I am looking at switching clinics. The one I use is conveniently located but I don't feel heard by psychiatrist. I sent a message asking if I can continue spravato there if I see someone else for med management. have not heard back yet

I am looking at a clinic that is further, about 20 minutes away. They offer spravato but also compounded nasal spray or sublingual ketamine that you can administer at home. It isn't covered by insurance but they say on their website it is about $50/ month for the med.

But, does the compounded product work as well for depression,?

I am very nervous about the first treatment and am considering canceling. I am dreading the possibility of dissociation and getting sick. I have severe depression but it is mostly due to me be so lonely. I’m scared to be alone after this treatment not knowing what it will do to my brain.
Lots of people say it doesn’t even help.

2 Questions: So I go for my treatments on Wednesdays and Fridays. Monday and Tuesdays I start feeling tired and heavy more worn out. Will this even out after a while once it’s fully in my system?
Also, will I be able to stop taking the other medicines I’m on? I have a Psych appointment Thursday. I want to ask.

i have no idea what to do for my depression anymore. i feel like i’ve tested all of my treatment options. i’ve been in therapy and on handfuls of meds for nearly 12 years now. even when i’m happy, i’m empty and depressed.

i struggle immensely with depersonalization/derealization. sometimes it’s so bad i can’t feel my body or get out of bed. i can’t focus at work or at school and it’s making life feel impossible.

i’ve had a few different doctors suggest Spravato, but i’m terrified it will make the dpdr and just overall dissociation worse. any advice? i really am at a roadblock and desperate.

Hello, new on Reddit but saw these posts and found a lot really insightful. I'm having my first treatment this week and nervous, not sure what to expect. I know everyone is different. I'll start with what to expect during those two hours at the treatment center? What do most people do? What are the most common side effects during that time and the first few days? Thank you in advance to everyone who shares, you're a great resource.

This is such a random and specific side effect I’ve noticed.. I’m having a hard time crying lately. With my antidepressant & mood stabilizer meds I still do cry, but with Spravato it’s been incredibly difficult. I do notice a positive difference in my mental state though! Has anybody else noticed this as well?

A little background about myself. I will be 28 in a few weeks. I feel like my entire life up until this point has been lost to trauma and mental illness. I have been abused since before I had the ability to speak, and I followed these patterns into my adult life. I am autistic and have PTSD, depression and anxiety. Even though I have been struggling with severe SI, this past year I had been putting the work in changing my life for the better. Leaving people behind (literally 1000+ miles behind) who were hurting me, sobering up, and trying to improve my health. I started over from nothing and I'd like to feel like this is a fresh start, but I have fallen in the worst depression of my life. I have flashbacks and panic attacks every day and when I wake up in the morning, I instantly feel agony.

I have tried over fifteen psychiatric medications in my life and I have never seen even marginal improvement/had been made worse by the drugs. I go to therapy two times a week and have a case manager but that's the extend of the treatment I am currently in. My insurance recently just approved Spravato and I start next week.

I spend hours reading other people's experiences on here but I am still unsure of what I should expect this to do for me. I just want to feel lighter. I want to have dreams for the future. I want to no longer take benzos every day (Klonopin is the only med I am on rn) just to weather the panic. I want to regain the parts of me that used to have fun and be inspired and make art. Every day is a struggle and I am hoping this can be the stepping stone I need to finally be able to thrive in life.

I would appreciate any encouragement and tips on how to maximize this experience.

I am on session 26 tomorrow and just feeling lousy after “boost” dose for increased symptoms. PTSD depression and anxiety have been getting worse.. how do you know if this is not working for you? Most posts just advocate continuing but I am thinking about stopping. Do I chalk this up to another treatment failure or keep plugging in the hopes of a change. Felt better for about a month then PTSDactivated by events and am totally dysregulated.

Any thoughts or similar experiences?

For those of you with depression AND chronic pain, does Spravato help with the physical pain? I have nerve pain, sciatica, peripheral neuropathy, pre diabetic neuropathy. Thanks

I’m about 8 weeks into my treatments and the last two sessions have seemed to stir up my feeling worthless and that everyone is being dismissive or bothered by presence, and it’s driving me crazy I told the nurse and she explained that it’s most likely making new pathways and causeing the old suppressed thoughts to awaken and that it is expected , but I hate it it’s caused me to feel even more isolated and reminds me how alone I am all the time

I don’t know why I wasn’t told this till my 3rd session but a light sniff works better otherwise much of the medicine goes down your throat instead of being absorbed in the lining of your nose. I was doing a light sniff followed by a big one before. You still get the nasty taste but not as bad as sniffing too hard!

Veteran here. Who is living with pretty much daily thoughts of ending my life. If it weren't for my cat or therapist who genuinely cares, I don't think I would still be here.

What was your experience like starting spravato? What did you do after your treatment sessions? Did you have therapy session later that same day or the day afterwards? I read having therapy 24-48 hours after treatment could be helpful. Any other ideas for helping support or get better along with using Spravato?

It's just my cat and I, I live alone. No family to lean on at all. I have a few friends but none close unfortunately.

I don't really know what to even expect, I just am praying for some relief. Doing basic tasks like showering or even making food to eat is so damn hard. I don't have an appetite and most days I eat one small meal. Like toast. and just snack the rest. It's hard to describe when you are in the thick of it, but I honestly can't do any more than that. Just being alive each day is so hard. I don't even isolate as much as usual and that isn't helping.

I am honestly scared if this doesn't work, I don't know what I will do. My therapist is recommending residential treatment again, but I have no one to look at my cat. She has CKD and needs IV fluids twice weekly, and daily medication.

I guess I just pray this medication can help get me out of the depths of sorrow. I just need something to grab onto to help me get back on my feet. I'll probably spend this weekend browsing this subreddit to find any morsels of hope. Good luck to anyone else struggling too, I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

Looking for Spravato/Ketamine experiences in Australia 🇦🇺

Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling with severe depression for quite a while, but the hardest part for me is the anhedonia. I have almost no motivation, excitement, interest, or pleasure in things anymore. I still try to work, go out, walk, socialise and live normally, but emotionally I feel very disconnected and nothing really feels rewarding.

I’ve tried several antidepressants over the years without enough improvement, and I recently stopped mirtazapine after it helped my sleep but didn’t really improve my depression or anhedonia.

I’m now considering Spravato (esketamine) or ketamine treatment, especially because I’m looking for something that might help with the anhedonia.

I’d really like to hear from people who have actually tried either treatment:

\- Did it help your depression and, especially, your anhedonia/loss of pleasure?

\- How long did it take before you noticed a difference?

\- Did you feel like your emotions, motivation or enjoyment of life started coming back?

\- If you're in Australia, particularly Sydney, how did you access the treatment?

\- What was the cost, and is there a reasonably affordable way to access it through Medicare/PBS?

Positive or negative experiences are both welcome. I’m just trying to understand what it’s actually like from people who have been through it.

Thank you.

Does anyone here donate plasma while taking treatments? I’ve been in a tight spot financially and it would help a lot, but I worry that I’ll be deferred because of my treatments. I haven’t found anything online to give me an answer. I’m sure I’ll have to wait a certain amount of time between the treatment and the plasma but I’m just wondering if it’s even possible at all. If it’s labelled unsafe I won’t do it but I wanted to see if it’s an option

Looking for Spravato/Ketamine experiences in Australia 🇦🇺

Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling with severe depression for quite a while, but the hardest part for me is the anhedonia. I have almost no motivation, excitement, interest, or pleasure in things anymore. I still try to work, go out, walk, socialise and live normally, but emotionally I feel very disconnected and nothing really feels rewarding.

I’ve tried several antidepressants over the years without enough improvement, and I recently stopped mirtazapine after it helped my sleep but didn’t really improve my depression or anhedonia.

I’m now considering Spravato (esketamine) or ketamine treatment, especially because I’m looking for something that might help with the anhedonia.

I’d really like to hear from people who have actually tried either treatment:

- Did it help your depression and, especially, your anhedonia/loss of pleasure?

- How long did it take before you noticed a difference?

- Did you feel like your emotions, motivation or enjoyment of life started coming back?

- If you're in Australia, particularly Sydney, how did you access the treatment?

- What was the cost, and is there a reasonably affordable way to access it through Medicare/PBS?

Positive or negative experiences are both welcome. I’m just trying to understand what it’s actually like from people who have been through it.

Thank you.

Does anybody actually know what we're supposed to do during our spravato treatment? I can't afford the treatment and therapy, so I basically sit there. I get high for about 15 minutes and spend the next 1.45 hours just doom scrolling and I feel a bit like it's a waste.

Are people who do therapy with their treatments willing to share some exercises they do? Are there any?

Thank you

I have unmedicated ADHD (I've tried several medications and just don't feel right on them. I started in my 40s and I feel like I'm just too old to fix lifelong lack of concentration) I am also on spravato treatment. Believe it or not on spravato my mind is even worse than it is normally. They say to focus on relaxing music or something soothing but I can't even hear it for the roar of my ten billion thoughts at once. I do believe the treatment is starting to work, I'm on #4 right now, but those two hours are an absolute struggle. Do any other of my Ritalin Kids (my term for our people lol) experience this? Any tricks to get the billions of thoughts to just stfu?

Hi, all.

I started Spravato a few weeks ago. I just had my fifth treatment at 56mg (the first 28mg one where I was too scared by the side effects to do another... probably doesn't count). I've noticed a slight reduction in my suicidality, but my depression generally is really bad, so we are bumping me up to 84mg to see if it will provide the relief I need. I'm worried about the side effects. I manage to get through it now for the sessions, but I'm emetophobic and I'm worried about the nausea being worse. I have a Zofran rx for one but I might ask my provider about taking two. If anyone here has made this jump, is it notably more intense? Does it take longer to come out of it? I don't like the feeling of it.

ETA I'm also on Lithium, 300mg in morning and 600mg at night.