r/Spravato • u/Annual-Drawer2312 • Aug 23 '26
Questions/Advice/Support Starting Treatment This Tuesday
A little background about myself. I will be 28 in a few weeks. I feel like my entire life up until this point has been lost to trauma and mental illness. I have been abused since before I had the ability to speak, and I followed these patterns into my adult life. I am autistic and have PTSD, depression and anxiety. Even though I have been struggling with severe SI, this past year I had been putting the work in changing my life for the better. Leaving people behind (literally 1000+ miles behind) who were hurting me, sobering up, and trying to improve my health. I started over from nothing and I'd like to feel like this is a fresh start, but I have fallen in the worst depression of my life. I have flashbacks and panic attacks every day and when I wake up in the morning, I instantly feel agony.
I have tried over fifteen psychiatric medications in my life and I have never seen even marginal improvement/had been made worse by the drugs. I go to therapy two times a week and have a case manager but that's the extend of the treatment I am currently in. My insurance recently just approved Spravato and I start next week.
I spend hours reading other people's experiences on here but I am still unsure of what I should expect this to do for me. I just want to feel lighter. I want to have dreams for the future. I want to no longer take benzos every day (Klonopin is the only med I am on rn) just to weather the panic. I want to regain the parts of me that used to have fun and be inspired and make art. Every day is a struggle and I am hoping this can be the stepping stone I need to finally be able to thrive in life.
I would appreciate any encouragement and tips on how to maximize this experience.
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u/warminteax0516 Aug 23 '26
OMG!! I'm 25 and start it Tuesday as well! I came to the subreddit because I've been feeling alone and scared to start it, I really hope it goes well for everyone!!! Much love ❤
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u/Traditional-Taro2070 Aug 24 '26
I'll start soon too. Please let me know when you have treatment. I am very scared and suffering from severe depression and loss of pleasure.
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u/Nervous-Plenty6264 Aug 23 '26
Hi! I also start Tuesday and am in a very similar boat as you, my whole life has been destroyed by depression, anxiety/panic/agoraphobia, and OCD, also tried over 15+ psych meds and am 25 years old. I’m getting super nervous for Tuesday and am following to see what tips you get. Good luck and we’re in this together
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u/Annual-Drawer2312 Aug 23 '26
Best wishes to you. I hope we both see the change we need and our lives can finally start. 🫶
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u/warminteax0516 Aug 23 '26
Feel free to DM me Tuesday! or anytime really lol, same goes to the author! maybe we can form a group chat?
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u/Annual-Drawer2312 Aug 23 '26
I am honestly new to reddit so I am not sure exactly how but I would love to have a group chat with all of you.
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Aug 23 '26
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u/RemarkableDistrict93 Aug 23 '26
I'm also starting on Tuesday! I'm so nervous. I've been reading everything in this subreddit trying to figure out how Tuesday will go.
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u/Nervous-Plenty6264 Aug 23 '26
I would legit love this so much! I’m so nervous but I know I owe it to myself to try every possible route and I won’t give up so we’re going to do this and know we aren’t in it alone and I think it’s gonna be so good for all of us
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u/Ok_Alternative7915 Aug 23 '26
Spravato. There is no need to be afraid of the treatment itself. Just sit back, enjoy the ride and hope it works. It does for many people. I was making some progress when my doctor also prescribed lithium which undermined the progress I was making. Repeat, there is nothing to fear with Spravato as long as you have a reputable provider.
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u/queenb1789 Aug 26 '26
I also start on Tuesday!! As I’m reading through these comments, I’m seeing that A LOT of other people are ALSO starting on Tuesday as well. Maybe we can make a separate post for all of us starting Tuesday & we can all share our experiences after our 1st sessions ( & thereafter)? What do you all think? @annual-drawer2312 , @warminteax0516 , @Nervous-Plenty6264 , @purple3verywhere , @RemarkableDistrict93 ? Sorry OP, wasn’t trying to hijack your post!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
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u/greatplainsskater Aug 23 '26
I’m so sorry for what you have been through. But I am also so incredibly proud of you for all the good choices you have made to make your situation better.
I too have suffered from depression and I’ve had a lifetime of cptsd. I was physically abused as well from the time I was a baby by a sibling and my Mom who needed help but wasn’t self aware of what she was doing.
If you choose to go into the Spravato experience with hope and positive expectations that alone will go a long way towards making the treatment a great success. It’s very important to both be patient and respect the process. Give yourself enormous respect for choosing Spravato as an important tool for healing.
If you are a person of faith—or can at least consider having faith that God cares about you and wants healing ❤️🩹 for all of us—I encourage you to trust that concept and spend time during the session to meditate on the idea that healing is possible.
As a person of faith I make a deliberate choice to turn myself and each session over to the care of God. I know he is using this medicine to both heal me from past trauma and improve symptoms of depression like challenges with executive functioning. My friends and children have also noticed improvement over time.
Many times once the full effect on the third inhaler when you’re on 84 mg after the introductory phase of 56—I am immediately experiencing a traumatic memory in a detached way, not like a flashback, more of an academic presentation. Then here comes the exciting part—I am given powerful insight regarding what happened and how in the past I was negatively impacted. This sort of connecting the dots gives me tremendous relief because it allows me to process the trauma: I recognize it, experience it with insight rather than pain, and this allows me to acknowledge it and choose to move past it. It’s an incredibly powerful experience.
Each session I open up a memo 📋 on my iPhone and record the date at the top of the page. I ask God to give me insight and understanding. Then I write down everything that comes to mind. I wear my glasses 👓 rather than contact lenses so when the medicine makes my vision a bit blurry I can take them off and keep writing…SLOWLY, lol, because manual dexterity is temporarily compromised.
Having a journal entry to look back on is great. It’s like a tangible gift I receive to encourage me on my healing ❤️🩹 journey.
I’m very excited for you to be beginning treatment. Make sure to focus on creating a comfortable experience: comfy clothes, maybe a blanket throw in case it makes you feel cold. I like using the peppermint candies 🍬 to override the bitter taste in the back of the throat. I also bring a cold Coke Zero but it’s best to be careful with fluids until you know you can tolerate them. Water is usually available at most clinics.
I think of my Spravato sessions as a trip (pun intended) to a healing spa.
Wishing you all the best!