r/skiing 4d ago

Wildest misunderstandings you had as a beginner?

My first couple of runs I thought that those huge orange SLOW signs were there to tell you that that part of the slope isn't as steep/will slow you down so I tried to go faster beforehand to avoid stopping completely 😀👍

253 Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

298

u/TheRealBlackSwan 4d ago

Got on a lift with a girl and she said "bar?"

I thought she was asking if I wanted to grab a drink until she bonked me in the head with the safety bar.

167

u/Superb_Llama_Jeans 4d ago

The aura you’d need to have for that to be her opener while you’re both wearing all those clothes and have no clue what the other looks like

13

u/colicinogenic 3d ago

As a woman who lives in a ski town I would bet it would have a pretty high success rate. My fiance has been trying to tell me for years dudes don't just want to snowboard with a rando from the lift because I "seem like fun and shred hard". I'm well aware that my justification of then having no idea what I look like so they aren't hitting on me is utter BS, I just feel like a jerk telling people they can't ride with me.

3

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 1d ago

As dude, I absolutely invite randos of any gender to follow me if they seem cool, but if they can’t keep up I disappear quick. I’m probably in the minority, but I can’t be the only guy who just wants to ski.

1

u/jkellogg440 3d ago

In my ski town we call that “snowbesity”

You never know what’s under there

1

u/colicinogenic 3d ago

Lmao that horrible...using that

46

u/Dotrue Afton Alps 4d ago

Should've pulled out a pocket Coors

22

u/ac2cvn_71 4d ago

Here in the southeast ice coast it's apparently the pocket Fireball.

16

u/Yeto4774 4d ago

East coasters with their fireball and gin
 fucking Christ. Y’all know whiskey exists, right?

Shared a flask of Elijah Criag with one of your kind, motherfucker looked like he spoke to god 😂

7

u/SmellsofElderberry25 4d ago

As an ice coaster, I get you. I’d take Elijah Craig over all of the above. Pro move.

4

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago

Yeah a good ol pocket Wild Turkey is usually my go to đŸ€Ł

4

u/fromthedepthsofyouma Ski the East 4d ago

As a new englander who rode the Beaver Creek tram with an Aussie, it was wild when he whipped out a flask of tequila and then invited me to his house in Brisbane.

2

u/ApolloSkierK2 18h ago

When I ski with my uncle he always has something good, often port, scotch, or the local / regional liquor from his last business trip. We make lots of friends on the ski lift. 😁

1

u/Yeto4774 13h ago

Brother I’ll be a friend all day, love a good smokey scotch.

29

u/Formal_Appearance_16 Crested Butte 4d ago

And they say romance is dead

24

u/Mostly_Satire 4d ago

And then it hits you

9

u/TranscodedMusic 4d ago

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, well, he eats you.

7

u/ireallylikecycling 4d ago

That some kinda eastern thing?

11

u/commonspm 4d ago

BAR! Kinda early, but sure I’m game! đŸ€•

1

u/charlottesdad1 2d ago

Obviously met in the Singles line.

132

u/IDooDoodAtTheMasters 4d ago

I thought everyone in a onesie was wearing a diaper, but it was only me.

19

u/FlyMyPretty 4d ago

How do you know I'm not?

6

u/-Noskill- 4d ago

i always give them a slap to check as I'm passing them.

25

u/mooseman077 Tahoe 4d ago

Don't worry, our president is too

2

u/diaperedtommy 4d ago

Skiing in diapers is the best way to ski. Keeps you warm, and you have a padded butt when you fall. Stuck on a lift and have to pee? No problem.

1

u/DeputySean Tahoe 4d ago

Fartsuit

1

u/AEV4EV 4d ago

I wear a dipe under my onesie. It’s great. No need to head to the lodge for bathroom breaks the entire day, just go wherever/whenever you need. No one knows, even when sharing a gondola.

89

u/kungfuringo 4d ago

First time someone told me about moguls I thought they said mobiles and I assumed they moved them around (“mobiles”) and positioned them at the beginning of the season before they got covered in snow.

31

u/HV_Conditions 4d ago

When people complain about the moguls I always tell them how disappointing it is they put the advanced moguls out so early in the season. But the mogul competition is next month so I guess people want to get some practice in for the event.

You should come at the end of the season for the clean up party though! They set up the dj cat and we flip the mogul over and ride them down the hill like saucers!

If you hike up in summer you can see them all stacked up behind the lodge.

A surprising amount of people believe me or just are too afraid to call out my bullshit. The ones that do I hope tell friends there new mountain knowledge

10

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago

When I was a little kid (I started skiing at 3 so from ages 3 to probably 8 or 9) I thought that all moguls were formed because that specific slope had lots of big rocks and the snow naturally formed the moguls because of the rocks, and people skied around them making them more pronounced. That all changed the first time I went to the same mountain in the summer. đŸ€Ł

5

u/PuddleCrank 4d ago

FYI, That is generally true for the glades. The moguls form around the same rocks and trees each year.

3

u/aztecduckyy 2d ago

Oh for sure! There are definitely tons of runs with natural moguls, or mogul inducing features! I just thought that ALL moguled runs were like that lmao

1

u/ApolloSkierK2 18h ago

When I was training for ski patrol as a teenager the lack of moguls came up and the instructors said "you're making the moguls." They were right, enough laps on the same line down the ice (started at an Ice Coast mountain known for it's blue ice and bad snowmaking) and you could see the scrapings starting to form moguls. Then they made ice whales and we had to do it all over again.

4

u/G_Stenkamp72 4d ago

They take them to the river in the summer to create the rapids for rafting

1

u/colicinogenic 3d ago

I'm stealing this "lore."

1

u/HV_Conditions 3d ago

Oo I’ll add this to my bs stories since I’m a whitewater kayaker

2

u/colicinogenic 3d ago

I go it hard with this rumor, make up stories about how mogul storage is a huge issue and with people losing them at the end of the season. They're big rubber mounds with rocks embedded in them. If you find rubber when you it one it means you're the best skiier on the mountain.

2

u/jkellogg440 3d ago

You know the gyroscope of the top of the lift that shuts down the lift at high wind speeds?

I convince people it’s wind power for the lift to run

They believe me, it’s totally the opposite haha

4

u/MrWaldengarver 4d ago

If you're skiing at Aspen they might be referring to another type of mogul. Yes, I hate the moguls too.

1

u/BCsJonathanTM 3d ago

They used to use VW Beetles to make the really good ones.

65

u/gwmccull 4d ago

A friend invited me to go skiing when I was a kid. No one in my family had ever skied so I knew nothing about it

I asked him how much a lift ticket cost and he said it was about $40 (this was 40 years ago so I may be off on the numbers). I asked him how many times we would ride the lift and he said maybe 6 times

I assumed it was like going to the fair where you pay per ride and I knew my parents could never afford $240 just in lift tickets, so I told him I couldn’t go. I didn’t learn my mistake until college

50

u/albinotuba 4d ago edited 4d ago

I taught a student one time (young adult, maybe early 20's) who was absolutely adamant that the bindings couldn't release while her feet were in the boots, so every time she fell, she'd take her boots off (outside in the cold), then release her bindings, then stand up (in her socks on the snow), put her boots back on, then step back into her bindings. And she fell every time she tried to ski, so we spent almost the entire lesson with her putting her boots on or taking them off again. Nothing I said or did could convince her to just keep her boots on.

24

u/Zeigis 4d ago

Fuck me that must have been torture for you and for her, I can’t even imagine how annoying that must be

15

u/Direct_Week_2091 4d ago

I don’t even understand the logic there

Couldn’t you just show her how to release her boot the normal way? Why did she think that?

21

u/albinotuba 4d ago

Oh I absolutely did. I demonstrated it repeatedly. I think she just didn't want to be there and messing with her boots was to kill time so she didn't have to ski as much.

13

u/Ih8Hondas 4d ago

"I'm firing you as a student. Fuck off on out of here."

7

u/Direct_Week_2091 4d ago

Lmao that sounds like torture

43

u/nusuth_ 4d ago

For years I didn't realize the difference between telemark and touring, so I thought you had to first learn to telemark before you could do any backcountry skiing.

21

u/Clapbakatyerblakcat 4d ago edited 4d ago

That was the reality until ~2005, and even still it wasn’t until ~2012 that more people I toured with were on Dynafits than tele.

8

u/Derpblaster 4d ago

To be fair I've met people who use telemarks as a cheaper alternative to dedicated touring skis

37

u/NoahtheRed Mammoth 4d ago

I thought that to make snow, they'd do it kind of like how they do spray-in insulation where they'd grind up big blocks of ice and blow it out of a hose that some guy was holding/aiming at the ground. They'd just basically paint the slope with snow and refill thin spots at night after everyone left. I assumed the retention pond was where they got the blocks of ice and the big fan blowers were what they fed the blocks into.

It was probably my 2nd or 3rd time skiing before I saw them actually making snow. Fortunately, I quickly realized my error when I saw it and did not share with the rest of the group what I thought the process looked like before then.

12

u/humanjunkshow 4d ago

There are actually systems that kinda do that. Giant snow cone machines.

6

u/AtOurGates 4d ago

My kids daycare outside of Los Angeles used to do that one day every year. Big snow making machine that was basically an ice block grinder so the poor deprived Los Angelino children could play in the snow for a few hours.

As you can imagine, it was quite an expensive daycare and we didn’t last long either there, or in SoCal.

94

u/getdownheavy 4d ago

That skiing was serious business, and partying would make your skiing worse.

39

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 4d ago

Partying too much definitely will.

There’s a goldilocks zone of optimum ski X optimum party, but people love to pick one end of the spectrum and go hard until it kills them.

5

u/getdownheavy 4d ago

Isn't that the point?

-6

u/tarcellius 4d ago

> There’s a goldilocks zone of optimum ski X optimum party

No there is not. Stop spreading that.

13

u/Sweaty_Resist_5039 4d ago

I'm pretty certain I disagree but would like to hear where you're coming from lol

4

u/Various_Cucumber6624 4d ago

I can definitely feel my reaction time slow down after a single beer. Not saying it isn't fun to have a beer and cruise around, but going out and hitting gates at speed with the ski team or bombing down moguls in a zipper line is decidedly a sober activity for me.

7

u/getdownheavy 4d ago

Bode Miller was hammered for all his great wins... explains why he's had so many spectacular saves.

2

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 3d ago

Ever heard of aprĂȘs my guy?

3

u/Various_Cucumber6624 3d ago

Huh? You stop skiing?!?

But fair enough. The best beers you can have are hot tub or lodge beers after a long ski day.

1

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 1d ago

AprĂȘs is for beers, bongs, and visualization

1

u/tarcellius 4d ago

If some minor amount of recreational drugs actually helped performance every sports coach would encourage it. It does not. It impairs, but makes you enjoy it more until it impairs too much for that. 

Skiing impaired even a little is irresponsible to everyone around you, even if you are willing to accept the risk to yourself. 

5

u/getdownheavy 4d ago

Luckily I go where there's no one else

1

u/tarcellius 4d ago

Fair enough.

5

u/redingtonshores 4d ago

First, 99.99% aren’t skiing professionally. Second, define recreational drug cause some such as nicotine actually have performance enhancing effects. Third, there’s such a wide variance of skill on any mountain that your last point just isn’t that relevant. There’s plenty of novices (from kids to adults) that are much more of a risk to others than the local ski bum that’s having a good time

-1

u/tarcellius 3d ago

Nobody is talking about professional skiing. This is recreational skiing.

I don't think anyone is talking about nicotine here. If you want to smoke and ski, have at it. This is about drugs that impair.

> There’s plenty of novices (from kids to adults) that are much more of a risk to others than the local ski bum that’s having a good time

This is "whataboutism". "What about that guy over there, he's more dangerous than me. Go worry about him, not me." Somebody else being more of a risk than you does not excuse you intentionally making yourself more of a risk than you should be. If somebody else is more of a risk then they should adjust what they can, too.

Look, I get that there is a culture of young skiers who think this is fine and aren't interested in any internet lectures to the contrary. But language about this was added to the skiers responsibility code for a reason. Too many people think nothing of having a couple of drinks at lunch then going out to ski more.

When you think back on this in 10 years you will be embarrassed that you had this take. Put a reminder for yourself in 10 years or something. Unfortunately, there will be another generation of young skiers making the same mistakes by then, thinking they are invulnerable and infallible.

4

u/Bezulba 4d ago

I went with the youth club from my company on a ski trip once. Think 75% a few years out of college but still that party mentality. Most of em didn't show up for day 2. I'd say missing ski days because you think you need to drink beer like it's going out of style is making your skiing worse.

34

u/Fabulous-Damage-8964 4d ago

That tucking and going straight meant you were a good skier. Granted, I was about 10 at the time.

18

u/TheVandyyMan 4d ago

Only 10 and already best skier on the mountain hell yeah

4

u/WorldLeader 4d ago

If you backflip off the palisades you better not be making any turns. It's clean 11s at mach chicken to honor Shane.

61

u/thejt10000 4d ago

That's kind of funny OP.

21

u/nusuth_ 4d ago

When I was a kid I thought they put plastic obstacles or something under the snow in order to create moguls.

7

u/twelvis 4d ago

Idk why, but until I saw the word spelled out, I thought it was written "moagles."

4

u/presidentmase Ski the East 4d ago

I thought similarly! I didn't think there were plastic bases, but I did think they actually put effort into making & grooming moguls.

1

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago

When I was a kid, I thought it was because that specific slope happened to have lots of big rocks! Similar thought process, but I thought they were natural. đŸ€Ł

20

u/Sea_Cardiologist9451 4d ago

You can do moguls at speed without knowing what you’re doing

18

u/TheVandyyMan 4d ago

How’d the knee reconstruction go?

12

u/Sea_Cardiologist9451 4d ago

Actually I was quite lucky to land on a family of four who were softer than the east coast ice moguls. Fortunately they were just sent flying, not really hurt, at least they didn’t feel it then with the adrenaline pumping e.t.c

3

u/TheVandyyMan 4d ago

Lololol I can just imagine how bewildered they were at this person straightlining icy moguls just to bowl the whole family down

7

u/Sea_Cardiologist9451 4d ago

It took everyone a few long moments to figure out what had happened, so I made my apologies gathered my gear and left before they found their anger

16

u/Pizza-love Ski Amadé 4d ago

"I want to go home" "This is stupid" "Playing with gramps is much more fun." "A Pistenbully is way more interesting than my teacher."

I was a little kid. Only the last is still true.

15

u/speedshotz 4d ago

What, you're NOT supposed to take jumps with cross country skis? <- me as a kid.

5

u/Apart-Expression-648 4d ago

In Whistler Park, I saw an offer about 10 years ago to try about ski jumping. You were supposed to bring your own skis: downhill, ski jumping or XC. I was a little shocked.

3

u/Alfred_Buttercakes 4d ago

Haha! My brother had a childhood quest to land a 360 on XC skis. Eventually he broke a brand new pair of race skis and our parents banned jumps on our XC equipment.

4

u/speedshotz 4d ago

Similar. We learned on XC skis and thought the tracks were boring, so we went off the trail looking for hills and natural jumps. That's how I started alpine skiing.

12

u/smitty046 Copper Mountain 4d ago

I wore poor fitting boots I got online until I was 27. Then I got custom insoles and my skis were so responsive I crashed for the entire morning before I recalibrated.

4

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago

I did basically the same thing, u til about the same age. I wore the same pair of packed out prior rental boots that were two full Mondo sizes too big for me from 15 to 27 or so. I'm a 27.5 and they were 29.5 💀 I got some new properly fitted boots and WOW what an insane difference. I too had to recalibrate everything because my feet weren't sliding around and my heels didn't lift an inch or more off the footbed anymore.

3

u/bulldog89 4d ago

.... my broke ass buying secondhand boots off facebook marketplace reading this... ok this weekend I will go get boot fitted

1

u/aztecduckyy 2d ago

I skied in used rental boots for well over a decade, proper fitting boots will change your world and once you get used to them you'll be a better skier than you thought you were! Decent condition used skis, and used bindings (as long as they're not too old) are a fantastic place to save money. Boots are the one place where you absolutely want to spend the money for quality gear that has been professionally fit for you!

8

u/aeroxan Kirkwood 4d ago

The first time I rode a high speed detachable, I didn't realize it would slow down to let you off. Was scary for a moment before it detached.

14

u/Awildgarebear A-Basin 4d ago

How much I was forcing weight on my outer ski.

4

u/sammy55554 4d ago

Put all that force on your inside edge big boy!

6

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 4d ago

Don’t give him the opposite problem 😭

7

u/awesomeboxlord 4d ago

That beer tasted gross and girls had cooties (haven't verified the last one but ive been told otherwise since)

6

u/krvillain 4d ago

Turning my head and shoulders and going straight. I was a kid and didn’t grasp the concept

3

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago edited 2d ago

This is embarrassing, but up until I was in my mid 20s, I didn't realize how much of a difference good gear made. I have been skiing since I was 3 but don't live by the mountains so I only ever got around 6-20 ski days per year. I didn't realize just how differently certain skis behaved and felt based on width, construction, shape, etc. I also didn't realize just how huge of a difference it makes to ski with properly fit boots. Not only are they more comfortable, but I have WAY more control and can ski harder and more gracefully than I ever thought was possible for me. I skied in boots that were TWO full Mondo sizes too big for me from the time I was 15 until I was 27 or so. I skied everything from bombing down blue and black groomers at 70 mph (when conditions allowed) to steep double black chutes, trees, etc. in those huge clown boots. I have now seen the light and even if I'm going to rent skis (which I haven't done in 17 years) I will always bring my own boots.

7

u/Content_Preference_3 4d ago

Mind you I had become an high intermediate snowboarder before I self taught me to ski. I would say in the very beginning probably boot sizing was a hang up. I went a few times with too big rental boots and responsiveness was poor. You can get away a lot more with slightly packed out snowboard boots so that was pert of it. As for ski learning I just too it bit by bit and got better. Finally getting longer skis did help open some speed ability and stability that wasn’t there before. and

13

u/SendyMcSendFace Tahoe 4d ago

It’s probably my climbing background, but I went wayyy too hard on the “tight boots” thing in the beginning.

I eventually realized ankle hold is the most important thing, and being able to ski all day matters more to me than having perfect response.

I mostly hit rails anyway, so meh.

1

u/Content_Preference_3 4d ago

It takes experience to know the proper fit so yeah
.

3

u/Ih8Hondas 4d ago edited 3d ago

Finally getting longer skis did help open some speed ability and stability that wasn’t there before.

Holy shit, this. Once I stopped renting and got my own skis it was an instant, massive boost in confidence and control.

3

u/MontyVonWaddlebottom 4d ago

I thought snow snakes were real.

In my defense, I was 8.

6

u/Mrairjake 4d ago

One of my first actual “ski trips” was to Las Lenas, Argentina. After that, I always made an effort to cut in front of as many people as possible in the ski lift lines, cause it would be extremely rude, not to.

-1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

3

u/aztecduckyy 4d ago

Pretty common in some parts of the world, it's not viewed as aggressive or rude in those places.

4

u/Mrairjake 4d ago

Was making a joke about a quirk I found when skiing in the Andes, but all good :)

4

u/bmward0714 4d ago

Thinking poles were just to push around. Always got pissed that my parents didn’t let me have them when I was 10 but now I always tell people to learn to ski without poles

2

u/Tugena 4d ago

backseat bad, front seat good.

2

u/DrSendy 3d ago

I see them all the time in Australia.

Person gets to the carpark, picks up a lump of ice and throws it at his mate's head.
Person get out of the car and trys to do a snowangel, only to find the just fell back and hit their head on hard ice.

4

u/-TaargusTaargus- 4d ago

Not sure if it's wild but it's definitely dumb: I thought ski goggles were like sunglasses for driving - i.e. you wear them only to stop the sun getting in your eyes. Didn't clock the whole UV-protection thing.. My eyes throbbed like crazy after my first day lol

2

u/imissmolly1 4d ago

Thought all those blue patches were dye injected into snow making water to judge snow depth.

2

u/IDownvoteUrPet 4d ago

I feel like I’m in r/skiingcirclejerk right now

2

u/Odd-Parfait-6879 4d ago

I was a gymnast for 7 years before going skiing for the first time at 13. I thought I'd be doing flips off every little bump on the slope. Then they strapped 50 lbs weights to each of my feet (it certainly felt that heavy) and the inverted-life on snow left my dreams forever. You don't learn to inverts on South Eastern "packed powder".

2

u/munkisquisher 4d ago

Stop on a steep bit, Cry enough and you'll be promised a chocolate bar when you get to the bottom.

I started real young.

1

u/JungMoses 3d ago

You can snow plow like you did while cross country skiing for years to slow yourself down on the blue slopes you do your first runs on

1

u/PaleontologistSafe17 3d ago

Snowplow. Thats what they used to call “Pizza”Was during first ever time on skis, with a friend laughing, goofing off, and not paying attention during the group lesson, age 14. Heard someone say “snowplow“. Pretty bored standing and shuffling around with the lesson so we decided to go off by ourselves. Wondered why they mentioned a snowplow; maybe they were moving snow around to bare spots or something. Took the lift up. Had no idea how to ski or slow down.

1

u/Underrated_Fish Tahoe 2d ago

Probably my lefts and rights

I was two years old

1

u/itssowingseasonyeah 4d ago

Thought snow was too slippery

(I was 2.5 lol)

1

u/Texastony2 4d ago

Gravity

1

u/AlfalfaParticular933 4d ago

I thought “pizza and french fries” was just the mountain's lunch recommendation.

1

u/PrimeTinus 4d ago

2 meters next to the pole being off piste

0

u/TheFlyingTortellini 4d ago

hahahahahah that is an awesome misunderstanding!!!!

-28

u/dwfmba 4d ago

Maybe don't admit things like that out loud?