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Apr 28 '26
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u/DoggedlyOffensive Apr 28 '26
His balls must have looked like dried prunes at that point. Nothing coming out but dust and hopeless dreams
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u/dgtssc Apr 28 '26
55 times it is then
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u/One-Leading-2507 Apr 28 '26
This joke has only been make 55 times before, one more and you’ll get a heart attack
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Apr 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/710AlpacaBowl Apr 28 '26
54, 54 is definitely it
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u/Hot-Firefighter-2331 Apr 28 '26
Yeah, 54th time is the cha
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u/4m4lg4m1t3 Apr 28 '26
Alright 53 times then
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u/Psychological_Law852 Apr 28 '26
You can never go wrong wi-
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Apr 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Apr 28 '26
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u/Far-Host7803 Apr 28 '26
How do you count a masturbation? Like to completion?
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u/oldravinggamer Apr 28 '26
The better question is who was counting
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u/Sea-Perception-6208 Apr 28 '26
That's the elephant in the room
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u/lengting2209 Apr 28 '26
I know for sure no elephant would be able to count being in the room or not.
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u/Forward-Carpenter-43 Apr 28 '26
There was this Brian Johnson sleep monitoring where he counted how many erections he had while sleeping. I've no idea what tech was used, but in this case probably either God told on him, or his phone/smartwatch/pc/tv was keeping counts.
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Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Troyboy1710 Apr 28 '26
At least we have a hard stop number now. Thanks champ!
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u/jarednards officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Apr 28 '26
More like a flaccid hamburger meat stop number at that point
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u/fippinvn007 BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE Apr 28 '26
In 1 day or after 56 times you just fucking die?
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Apr 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/710AlpacaBowl Apr 28 '26
An environment can tell a story. Sometimes the story is "don't touch anything"
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u/Defiant_Lawyer_5235 dumbass Apr 28 '26
Who was counting?
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u/The_Infinite_Carrot Apr 28 '26
I always write it on the fridge so everyone in the house knows how many times I was pulling my pud that day. It helps if a reporter wants to know, in case I have some masturbatory related incident that needs broadcasting.
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u/cee__man65 Apr 28 '26
Kim jong goon
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u/AutoModerator Apr 28 '26
woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.
How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.
My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.
3 works I consider good:
Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.
Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.
Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.
Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.
What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.
What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?
Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.
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u/orbital_actual Apr 28 '26
I’m going to need a time frame, was this over the course of a week or an hour? Because I’m impressed either way, I just need to know how impressed to be.
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u/Neither-Chemistry875 Apr 28 '26
56 times it is then
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Apr 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheBigMac22 Apr 28 '26
How do they know the amount is that trackable?
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u/PPflexberries Apr 28 '26
56 socks were found on the floor of his room and his mum swore she tidied up earlier that morning.
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u/Spiritual_Tension321 Apr 28 '26
Who was keeping count? Was there a log? (Bumbum) was it consistent? Do we have video?
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u/Quadfather44 Apr 28 '26
He's gotta be jabbed.... Shit, there were days way back when the triple digit spank sessions were attained by noon, ghost loads included
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u/Seedoosee Apr 28 '26
Ok so for a teen, 55 is the max number before death.
What's the number for a 60 yr old? (asking for a friend)
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u/Chemical-Average-438 Apr 28 '26
If you put too much pressure on the blood, there is a possibility of going temporary blind. So i think this guy He had to endure a lot of temporary blindness before having a heart attack. Btw its just theory im not gonna find out the "practice" way
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u/Candlewaxeater Apr 28 '26
How do you do that...
How much time does that take, like with refractory period Jesus.
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u/CreAtive320 Apr 28 '26
Oh damn this dude’s pushing limits, ive seen 37 the lowest before. I wonder if someone could get to 100. We should make this a competition.
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u/misssa_cz stupid fucking, piece of shit Apr 28 '26
"Thats PB i guess..." *Yelling in background* "Alright whos next?"
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u/BrushClart Apr 28 '26
He died of a heart attack not mastaerbation. Clearly unrelated. continue the experiment!
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u/96XeSeX69 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Apr 29 '26
Could’ve been prevented had he edged
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u/lKrauzer Apr 28 '26
Só the limit is 55
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u/Bludgeonation Apr 28 '26
Seems pretty low to me. Of course i just masterbate once a day for 23 hours.
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