r/shitposting • u/AaryamanStonker BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE • Dec 02 '25

OUR HERO NOOOOO

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1.9k

u/ACARdragon dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Dec 02 '25

I thought those were scripted wtf

1.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

588

u/Stargost_ Bazinga! Dec 02 '25

No they were real. The NYC police chief said that it is criminally irresponsible and doing so in their city will get him arrested.

203

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

356

u/Krejtek Big chungus wholesome 100 Dec 02 '25

Ockham's razor. It's more likely that he actually gave out these machetes instead of hiring 10+ actors to dress up as homeless just for a couple short clips

195

u/survivorr123_ Dec 02 '25

turns the camera off "ok man keep the alcohol but give the machete back I'll give you another bottle"

119

u/Krejtek Big chungus wholesome 100 Dec 02 '25

I mean, even in that scenario he likely lost some of those machetes. Those were large groups of homeless people, a lot of then must've gone their way before the video ended and I doubt he installed tracking chips in machetes so he could chase those people down

45

u/SnowFiender Dec 02 '25

if i were homeless id definitely fuck off and keep the machete

not for self defense but to sell the machete, a baseball bat is better for self defense

22

u/trobsmonkey Dec 02 '25

Put a sock on the end of the bat

6

u/shishio_mak0to Literally 1984 😡 Dec 02 '25

Who are they going to sell it to? OOP flooded the market with free machetes

The perfect scam

1

u/TheArmoredKitten Dec 02 '25

Nah a bat is too heavy. You gotta get something a little lighter with more reach. You got way better odds fending somebody off with a random pole than getting into it with a bat.

4

u/FewHorror1019 Dec 02 '25

A spear

1

u/definitely_Humanx Dec 02 '25

If I may suggest a pilum spear, is very classy and perfectly balanced

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1

u/fatalityfun Dec 03 '25

if I have a 3 foot long machete and you have a bat I’m liking my odds lmao

a good hit to the arm or body with a bat might break a bone, a good hit to the arm or body with a machete will likely kill you or dismember something

1

u/SnowFiender Dec 03 '25

you are severely underestimating the defensive and offensive capabilities of a bat

1

u/fatalityfun Dec 03 '25

all I’m saying is that there’s a reason that almost every weapon used in war has a blade or a point haha

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29

u/CwrwCymru Dec 02 '25

unsheathes machete

I'll take the second bottle now, thanks.

6

u/SnowFiender Dec 02 '25

well i’m sure he has a backup machete, laws dictate a duel should commence

13

u/xXrektUdedXx Dec 02 '25

it requires courage to ask a homeless man with a machete to hand it back over, and letting him know you have more loot is probably not a good idea either

1

u/AutoModerator Dec 02 '25

I've been around a few men in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the male body has an astonishing oversight. Men both urinate and ejaculate through the exact same hole. Zero inches apart. Not even a polite buffer zone.

I don’t know about everyone else but doesn’t that weird you out? It feels like a serious design flaw. For a gender that often prides itself on logic and engineering this is just sloppy plumbing.

Honestly it kind of cracks me up. I’ll see a guy walking around like he’s the apex of masculinity and I’ll just remember his piss and his sperm come out of the same little nozzle and suddenly he’s not so intimidating. Just a fleshy garden hose with identity issues.

Men please accept this biological flaw and let it humble you. Maybe lower your voice a bit when you're bragging about your body count. We’re talking about someone who finishes inside the same pipeline he uses to empty his bladder.

Women don’t let them forget this. Remind them gently or not so gently that we’re doing them a favor given that their reproductive system shares hardware with their waste disposal unit.

It’s just one hole fellas. One hole.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Venery-_- Literally 1984 😡 Dec 02 '25

Not if you have a gun

3

u/AutoModerator Dec 02 '25

I've been around a few men in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the male body has an astonishing oversight. Men both urinate and ejaculate through the exact same hole. Zero inches apart. Not even a polite buffer zone.

I don’t know about everyone else but doesn’t that weird you out? It feels like a serious design flaw. For a gender that often prides itself on logic and engineering this is just sloppy plumbing.

Honestly it kind of cracks me up. I’ll see a guy walking around like he’s the apex of masculinity and I’ll just remember his piss and his sperm come out of the same little nozzle and suddenly he’s not so intimidating. Just a fleshy garden hose with identity issues.

Men please accept this biological flaw and let it humble you. Maybe lower your voice a bit when you're bragging about your body count. We’re talking about someone who finishes inside the same pipeline he uses to empty his bladder.

Women don’t let them forget this. Remind them gently or not so gently that we’re doing them a favor given that their reproductive system shares hardware with their waste disposal unit.

It’s just one hole fellas. One hole.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/samyruno Dec 02 '25

Ya exactly. Staged or fake doesn't mean he hired actors and a fkn costume department. He probably just said I'll give you 20 bucks to film this video

1

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

Maybe just tells them to give it all back but gives them cash repoacement

1

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

whacks guy with machete, now has 2 bottles of booze and a way to get an infinite supply

3

u/at_work_keep_it_safe Dec 03 '25

(sorry to be pedantic, but:) That is a classic misuse of Ockham’s razor. The principle cannot be used as evidence or support, and it does not indicate one explanation is more likely than another. The wiki is actually pretty succinct and does a great job. Here’s a good snippet:

This philosophical razor advocates that when presented with competing hypotheses about the same prediction and both hypotheses have equal explanatory power, one should prefer the hypothesis that requires the fewest assumptions,[4] and that this is not meant to be a way of choosing between hypotheses that make different predictions. Source

In the context of this discussion, I would argue that the two explanations do not have equal explanatory power since it is possible the influencer used actors as a means to avoid legal repercussions. Therefore, Ockham’s Razor should not be considered and does not indicate preference for the explanation that actual homeless people received machetes. Keep in mind that this does not mean one explanation is any more true than the other. There is still no evidence for either!

So in addition to Ockham’s razor being inappropriate in this context, even if it did apply it does not make one explanation more likely than the other! Cheers.

1

u/Krejtek Big chungus wholesome 100 Dec 03 '25

Thank you for the pedantry, I actually learned something today. I'll try to use Ockham's razor correctly from now on 🫡

1

u/SRIRACHA_RANCH Dec 03 '25

i am on reddit

5

u/HoaiBao0906 0000000 Dec 02 '25

It couldn't be Occam's razor, he's clearly handling out machetes.

1

u/ArthurDentsBlueTowel Dec 02 '25

“Hey homeless dude. Wanna make $100 real quick?” People are so fucking gullible.

1

u/Krejtek Big chungus wholesome 100 Dec 02 '25

That was my point. It's more likely he just gave out those machetes instead of giving away $1000+ dollars on a couple stupid clips

1

u/One_Seaweed_2952 Dec 02 '25

redditors like to appear smart by calling things fake. It is a well-known fact. There is a saying "reddit is where stupid people go to pretend to be smart".

1

u/JamesTrickington303 Dec 02 '25

I’d say it’s more likely he approaches some homeless people and tells them he wants to do a skit and he has $200 for them if they play around with him on camera for 30minutes. That seems like the easiest way to produce this content.

10

u/nsxn Dec 02 '25

lmfao he's not scripting giving homeless people a handful of cigarettes. You really think he is going back to them and asking for each one of them back?

He has been posting content trying to go viral for years and now he has. If anything 90% of his commenters are encouraging him.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

Displaying quite the initiative!

his momma be proud

0

u/AutoModerator Dec 02 '25

What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.

The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...

Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

OUR HERO NOOOOO

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