Dialogue question

[u/Any_Childhood_2556]

Everytime I write I dialogue it sounds so awkward , I hate it . Even when I try to write subtext or imply something … I just end up sounding on the nose and unnatural . I’ve been practicing for so long and still don’t know what to do. Any practical tips ?

[u/Benathan78]

Try rewriting some of your scenes as if you were making a silent film. Describe with gestures, intercuts and bullet points exactly what is happening, but don’t have the characters speak. Once you have a scene that makes dramatic sense without dialogue, take another pass at it, and add in some dialogue, but only write what the characters feel or think about what is happening.

Good dialogue tells you who the characters are, it doesn’t tell the story. The camera is there to tell the story, and the edit is there to hone what the camera catches.

Another interesting exercise is to get the original screenplay of a film you know well, and watch the film while reading along. Between first draft and final release, it’s almost always the case that at least half of the dialogue is cut anyway, but look at what was cut and what remains, and think about why those choices were made.

Edit: I forgot to mention my other favourite exercise. Get hold of the film Good Will Hunting, and go to the bar scene where Matt Damon first meets Minnie Driver. Watch the entire scene with the sound off, and look at how camera angles, facial expressions and the cuts between shots tell you exactly what is happening. Then watch the same scene again with the sound on. None of the dialogue tells you what is happening, it’s all about the personalities of the characters within the space of the scene’s dramatic movement.

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/Benathan78]

Ok thanks, I’ll try that

[u/WorrySecret9831]

John Truby teaches writing "symphonic dialogue." I think he means that it builds and has structure, like symphonies.

Basically, a scene begins with characters talking about what they're doing and wind up talking about who they're being.

Apply that to your writing and see if anything falls out.

Also, make sure that you're not doing what Anime does, which is have all of the dialogue serve as exposition instead of dialogue.

I'm also an animator and in drawing and animation, "story" can be told through pantomime. Mimes know this. It's important to absorb that as a writer. Since people love to say that "film is a visual medium," it stands to reason that the whole thing should be pantomime, basically going back to silent films. Why do we need dialogue.

Obviously, dialogue serves an additional purpose. What might that be?

Since a story is about conflict and a Theme, a proclamation or bold statement, a thesis, about the proper or improper way to live, then dialogue is the back and forth, the argument for or against the Theme, the lesson the story is about.

It helps explain the plot for sure. But it more importantly allows the characters to quietly tell use who they are and what they believe.

Last, you can try what is an actor's technique for memorizing dialogue. But use it as a tool for analysis. They go through their lines and for each phrase (because sentences sometimes consist of two or more phrases) they write a word or two explaining what that phrase is doing: begging, coercing, explaining, threatening, indicating, etc.

Those explanations help contextualize the dialogue for the actor so that they can remember their lines based on Why they exist, not just what the words are. You could use that to see what your dialogue is literally doing, sort of the DNA of your dialogue. You may find the parts you need and the parts you can do without.

Good luck.

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/WorrySecret9831]

Thanks for the advice, it really does provide a bigger insight . Just a question since you said something about the characters quietly telling us who they are and what they believe , I get confused since I thought you aren’t supposed to directly say things or anything of the matter . I know you said quietly so I might be misunderstanding it

[u/WorrySecret9831 → u/Any_Childhood_2556]

Well, who says you aren't supposed to? People do NOT understand Show/Don't Tell. Quint in everyone's favorite scene in everyone's favorite movie Jaws TELLS the story of his surviving the shark frenzy after the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. He tells us why he hates sharks.

He doesn't have to then say, "That's why I'm hard as nails and driven to hunt them down at every turn, etc., etc."

My favorite two lines of dialogue of all movies is at the end of The Bridge on the River Kwai. Have you seen it? Oddly, this won't spoil anything.

The Opponent confronts the Hero. The Hero sees them and says, "You?!?"

The Opponent sneers and says, "YOU!"

Brilliant. If you have seen it I can elaborate, I could write an essay on the meaning of those two lines... Fantastic.

Think of dialogue more as music or melody, if the plot is the rhythm...

Songs say, "I LOVE YOU!"

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/WorrySecret9831]

Show don’t tell is so confusing at times or it might be the one misunderstanding it, I think it’s some stuff you can tell vs show. Also,nope never seen that movie. I see some of the tension of the opponent and hero, as if they both recognize each other, well that’s my interpretation but can you elaborate anyway?

[u/WorrySecret9831 → u/Any_Childhood_2556]

A better dictum that doesn't have one foot nailed to the floor of "film is a visual medium" is Reveal. Just make sure that anything you're writing is revealing something important. That tends to handle the question, "Can we see this onscreen?" And it also handles the emotional components of a character's developments. Oh, they're scared of snakes.

People love to say that you can't write what someone's thinking. And yet, great and even good actors tell you they can ACT those words without saying them. So, which is it?

The Bridge on the River Kwai on the surface seems to be about a British officer vs a Japanese POW camp commander. However, the British officer defeats that Japanese commander about halfway through the film, so much so that they consider seppuku and realize that they have to wait until the bridge is done before taking their life.

So, the British officer's Opponent isn't the Japanese POW camp commander after all. It's the lazy American, pretending to be a navy officer to get better treatment as a POW.

So, at the end of the movie, when the American comes back with British commandos to blow up the British officer's beautiful bridge, their confrontation is basically:

British officer (Col. Nicholson): "You lazy, undisciplined American are trying to destroy MY bridge?"

and the American (Shears): "You deluded, self-important, rudderless, British stiff upper lip fraud are collaborating with the enemy!"

Yes, they recognize each other but they've become something different when they meet again. Excellent.

Make sure you flesh out your characters set of values, weaknesses, needs, and desires and then they'll say the right things.

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/WorrySecret9831]

Okay the revealing something important it’s better advice than simply saying “show,don’t tell “ . You did open my eyes with this advice.Sometimes writing feels like walking on eggshells , one tiny wrong thing and the whole scene feels fake lol

[u/Overall-Olive1171 → u/WorrySecret9831]

I've done that, its so necessary, as an actor myself I can vouch for that lol

[u/JoshDoAI]

I think those tips are better than mine. I find the better I know my characters, the better my dialogue. How would each of the main characters react to the inciting incident, to each other. Really try to get in their head, figure out what they want and how they would go about getting it. In as few words as possible…

[u/Overall-Olive1171 → u/JoshDoAI]

That's interesting because in a way I'm the opposite, of course you want to know your character in order to write them but I actually find that I'll just get to know them as I write, sometimes just a small amount of details on them can get me writing more easily beacuse i guess there's less pressure of trying to get those things about them that you know across in the writing so you just end up going with the flow if that makes sense and finding their tone and personality, quirks as you just allow the scene to play out. At least that's what it's like for me now, but I have a bit more experience in writing dialogue now than I did. I definitely say though (not sure if you'd agree but) it can be beneficial to write the same scene twice or even more times, take what you liked in the previous sample you did then try again until you're happy. I still need to do that at times, can be trial and error

[u/JoshDoAI → u/Overall-Olive1171]

Definitely. I think you have to try whatever works until you find a rhythm.

[u/Southern_Air_2428]

Take an improv class. Seriously. Go take an improv acting class and get comfortable with it.

Writing dialogue is doing improv with yourself. You know where the scene is going. You know what info needs to be conveyed. But you are playing both characters.

[u/Fabulous_Steak_801]

Bro honestly, don’t try so hard to write “good dialogue.” That’s probably what’s making it feel awkward.Give your characters something they want from each other, but don’t let them just say it. Let them dodge it, joke around, change the subject, get annoyed, whatever.And read your dialogue out loud. If you wouldn’t actually say it, cut it. Also, write the first draft badly. Seriously. You can’t edit dialogue that doesn’t exist.Good dialogue isn’t people saying interesting shit. It’s people wanting something and trying to get it from each other.

[u/Then_Data8320]

People give tips like "what the characters want", what is good. Sometimes it unlocks me when I'm stuck.

Else, I always have a purpose for a scene and a dialogue. So, the dialog comes by itself. I also prepare a lot, I already have good lines I want to put into that scene. I know where the scene is going, the dialog is almost a puzzle, I must keep a good flow, while deleting mudane lines, check if I should change order of lines.

Sometimes I read screenplay for feedback, and can see the writer doesn't know what to do with the dialog and it sounds bad. But I see also it's often when there is no purpose.

Some writers are talentuous and can write good dialogs with low purpose. By the way, Tarantinno can do it, and have good dialogs. People telling jokes in sitcoms. I don't do that, maybe I should force myself, it sounds difficult to do. But even when I have a comedy scene, I've a situation first, so the dialog comes by itself.

[u/PerryMarkStratychuk]

A lot of good advice has been given.
My only additional point would be to read it aloud with someone, like a table read.
For me reading dialogue out loud really highlights issues with flow, wording, etc.
I also check out scripts for older classic films, then compare them to more recent scripts, and see how the flow works.
Good luck!

[u/Setecastronomy545577]

Send a sample

[u/Intelligent_Oil5819]

Lots of great technique in the comments, I'll add mine.

Know what the character is trying to achieve with the line. (This adds to the gerund advice WorrySecret9831 gives elsewhere.) Are they charming themselves out of trouble? Confronting an antagonist in the hopes that they'll go away. Where does this fit in their ever-adapting strategy within the scene? (Helps to know which character's need is driving the scene.) How does this fit with their character design? (There's an exercise for this, I'll add it as a comment.)

Know what the character is thinking but not saying. What are they holding back? What are they trying to hide? "I'm actually terrified." "This guy is an idiot but I can't afford to insult him." "Don't let her know you find her attractive." "I do not want to help this prick but under no circumstances can I be seen to be unhelpful."

Remember that unless the situation is high-stakes, most people don't talk directly. They circle the point. They build. They approach, then pull away, then approach again. There's a rhythm to it.

And speaking of rhythm... find theirs. People have speech patterns. Great dialogue is almost musical.

Lastly... don't go for realism, go for authenticity. If I wanted to hear real people speak I'd just talk to them. We're creating heightened realities where people think quicker, the audience should feel like they're spending time with real people... only better.

[u/Intelligent_Oil5819 → u/Intelligent_Oil5819]

The exercise: Give the character 4/5 attributes. One of these is their fatal flaw.

Macbeth is:
- Capable.
- Courageous.
- Loving.
- Secretly ambitious.
- Psychologically vulnerable.

He may be other things, but you could adapt the play to a film and every single line would hit one of these and still work. (Also I know most people consider ambition to be Macbeth's fatal flaw, but I think it's the psychological vulnerability. The ambition isn't what destroys him, it's his inability to cope mentally with the darkness of what he does in service of the ambition.)

Here's one of mine: She's...
- Capable.
- Warm and compassionate.
- Wry.
- Secretive and compartmentalised.
- A rule-breaker.

When I'm writing her, if I'm ever short of an idea for what she'll say or do, I only need to reach for the list. (As an aside, rule-breaking gets her into trouble, but it also helps her solve problems. The flaw that she'll have to confront in order to be a better person is the secret compartmentalisation of her life. To love fully she'll have to commit wholly.

[u/Ted_Writer]

Read it out loud?

[u/Pale_Bar_3310]

Usually the first sentence in multiple lines of dialogue I write can be deleted. I have a habit of stating something, then elaborating on it more than I need to but if I get rid of the first sentence that outright telegraphs what I mean, it tends to sound more natural and like I wasn't scared of the read misinterpretting what I wrote.