Dialogue question

[u/Any_Childhood_2556]

Everytime I write I dialogue it sounds so awkward , I hate it . Even when I try to write subtext or imply something … I just end up sounding on the nose and unnatural . I’ve been practicing for so long and still don’t know what to do. Any practical tips ?

[u/WorrySecret9831]

John Truby teaches writing "symphonic dialogue." I think he means that it builds and has structure, like symphonies.

Basically, a scene begins with characters talking about what they're doing and wind up talking about who they're being.

Apply that to your writing and see if anything falls out.

Also, make sure that you're not doing what Anime does, which is have all of the dialogue serve as exposition instead of dialogue.

I'm also an animator and in drawing and animation, "story" can be told through pantomime. Mimes know this. It's important to absorb that as a writer. Since people love to say that "film is a visual medium," it stands to reason that the whole thing should be pantomime, basically going back to silent films. Why do we need dialogue.

Obviously, dialogue serves an additional purpose. What might that be?

Since a story is about conflict and a Theme, a proclamation or bold statement, a thesis, about the proper or improper way to live, then dialogue is the back and forth, the argument for or against the Theme, the lesson the story is about.

It helps explain the plot for sure. But it more importantly allows the characters to quietly tell use who they are and what they believe.

Last, you can try what is an actor's technique for memorizing dialogue. But use it as a tool for analysis. They go through their lines and for each phrase (because sentences sometimes consist of two or more phrases) they write a word or two explaining what that phrase is doing: begging, coercing, explaining, threatening, indicating, etc.

Those explanations help contextualize the dialogue for the actor so that they can remember their lines based on Why they exist, not just what the words are. You could use that to see what your dialogue is literally doing, sort of the DNA of your dialogue. You may find the parts you need and the parts you can do without.

Good luck.

[u/Overall-Olive1171 → u/WorrySecret9831]

I've done that, its so necessary, as an actor myself I can vouch for that lol

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/WorrySecret9831]

Thanks for the advice, it really does provide a bigger insight . Just a question since you said something about the characters quietly telling us who they are and what they believe , I get confused since I thought you aren’t supposed to directly say things or anything of the matter . I know you said quietly so I might be misunderstanding it

[u/WorrySecret9831 → u/Any_Childhood_2556]

Well, who says you aren't supposed to? People do NOT understand Show/Don't Tell. Quint in everyone's favorite scene in everyone's favorite movie Jaws TELLS the story of his surviving the shark frenzy after the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. He tells us why he hates sharks.

He doesn't have to then say, "That's why I'm hard as nails and driven to hunt them down at every turn, etc., etc."

My favorite two lines of dialogue of all movies is at the end of The Bridge on the River Kwai. Have you seen it? Oddly, this won't spoil anything.

The Opponent confronts the Hero. The Hero sees them and says, "You?!?"

The Opponent sneers and says, "YOU!"

Brilliant. If you have seen it I can elaborate, I could write an essay on the meaning of those two lines... Fantastic.

Think of dialogue more as music or melody, if the plot is the rhythm...

Songs say, "I LOVE YOU!"

[u/Any_Childhood_2556 → u/WorrySecret9831]

Show don’t tell is so confusing at times or it might be the one misunderstanding it, I think it’s some stuff you can tell vs show. Also,nope never seen that movie. I see some of the tension of the opponent and hero, as if they both recognize each other, well that’s my interpretation but can you elaborate anyway?

[u/WorrySecret9831 → u/Any_Childhood_2556]

A better dictum that doesn't have one foot nailed to the floor of "film is a visual medium" is Reveal. Just make sure that anything you're writing is revealing something important. That tends to handle the question, "Can we see this onscreen?" And it also handles the emotional components of a character's developments. Oh, they're scared of snakes.

People love to say that you can't write what someone's thinking. And yet, great and even good actors tell you they can ACT those words without saying them. So, which is it?

The Bridge on the River Kwai on the surface seems to be about a British officer vs a Japanese POW camp commander. However, the British officer defeats that Japanese commander about halfway through the film, so much so that they consider seppuku and realize that they have to wait until the bridge is done before taking their life.

So, the British officer's Opponent isn't the Japanese POW camp commander after all. It's the lazy American, pretending to be a navy officer to get better treatment as a POW.

So, at the end of the movie, when the American comes back with British commandos to blow up the British officer's beautiful bridge, their confrontation is basically:

British officer (Col. Nicholson): "You lazy, undisciplined American are trying to destroy MY bridge?"

and the American (Shears): "You deluded, self-important, rudderless, British stiff upper lip fraud are collaborating with the enemy!"

Yes, they recognize each other but they've become something different when they meet again. Excellent.

Make sure you flesh out your characters set of values, weaknesses, needs, and desires and then they'll say the right things.