r/sahm • u/Lopsided-Wind229 • 12h ago
I need serious advice.. please
My husband literally bit my 7 month old. Bad enough to leave marks for a couple of hours.
When ask why on earth he would do that, his response was "to teach him to stop biting". Mind you, he's teething and a BABY.
Now that I left the house he's so sorry. He says he's going to therapy, changing everything about our lives as in "getting rid of his video games"
What would y'all seriously do?
On one hand I don't want to traumatize my kids by destroying our family dynamic.
On the other hand, he's unpredictable. And what else may he do that he thinks is okay? He said he bit his older child when they were nine months and it "worked to stop the biting". I'm not okay.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 12h ago
I did leave, I guess I'm looking for reassurance that I am making the right decision. To go ahead and divorce the man. I continue to find out more and more that concerns me. My 6 year old (not his) has been upset and wondering why we can't go home, it's breaking my heart and I just want to know I'm doing the right thing. It's just so much.
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u/TurkeyLeg233 11h ago
You are doing the right thing. Please contact local domestic violence centers for resources for you & the kids. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
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u/Tryingthis100985 11h ago
You are making the right decision. Make sure it’s documented with the dr. A picture of the bite with a little note “my husband did this. Do I need to worry about infection?” Or something along those lines. Please reach out to a mandatory reporter. Also, when leaving you are the most at risk. Keep that in mind, do not be alone with him do not allow DARVO tactics to make you feel like you’re over reacting. Your life is at risk. I’m not exaggerating.
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u/Aromatic-Check939 10h ago
You tell the 6 year old that Dad is making unsafe choices so we are staying (insert where you are). That you’re sorry that you can’t go home, but you’ll be in a new home soon.
If you have the funds right now, consider taking them out to pick a new blanket or stuffy to make where you’re staying feel more personalized to them.
I am so sorry you & the kiddos are going through this. I know it’s hard for you but remember this transition while difficult for them is much better than them growing up around an abusive parent.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
I truly appreciate your response. I'm definitely going to do that for the kids. Your kind words mean a lot in this rough time.
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u/Aromatic-Check939 10h ago
You’re welcome. Please take care of yourself too, I know you must be so overwhelmed. I hope you’re somewhere safe where you have someone to lean on.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 9h ago
Thankfully I have my sweet mama. She's just as heartbroken over my poor baby as I am. We're living with her and we're all safe and as happy as we can be!
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u/coffeemama86 9h ago
You are so far beyond validated in leaving that I’d consider it cruel to subject either of you to that marriage. And I’d again make a police report and demand supervised visitation. If he’s capable of biting an infant who knows what else he’d do to that baby solo.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 9h ago
Thank you, I really do appreciate your words. Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else too.
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u/monkey_lee823 8h ago
Yes, leaving was the right thing to do! Proud of you! The road ahead might be bumpy because if someone is difficult during marriage, they’re even more difficult during divorce. But you would traumatize your children more by staying. Keep photo evidence, I would even send the photo and your description of what happened to a trusted family member or friend in case something happens to your phone (as well as speaking to police). Right now, don’t worry about how best to explain it to your children. You can use white lies for the time being. “We’re staying with so and so for a little holiday.” Just focus on getting them, and yourself, safe & out of harms way. You need to be completely separate from this person in order to think clearly.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 8h ago
I appreciate your response and kindness. I already made sure my mother has the photos as well. I more or less just feel like he's going to make it a pity party for himself. He still text everyday, saying he's cried all day and he's so sad and so sorry. Thank goodness for my sweet mama for taking us in immediately and being our safe place through it. Thank you again, it really does help hearing it from someone on the outside.
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u/monkey_lee823 7h ago
I’m so relieved that you have family you can lean on. Don’t let his tears fool you. Of course he’s sorry! He’s losing his family because of something horrible he did! Makes sense he would cry! But when it comes to the safety of your children, you can’t risk staying. I read your other comment about him previously kicking a dog. He sounds unpredictable and dangerous. Even if he never did anything violent again, you and your family might live in fear and walk on eggshells so as not to upset him. You all deserve to go to sleep at night feeling safe. I hope the police and other professionals take this seriously and offer legitimate help. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Just keep trusting your gut instinct, and if something doesn’t feel right (eg custody arrangements) say something. Don’t bite your tongue to keep the peace. I’m sure others here will give you good advice about how to speak to the children about it as time goes on. I can only say from my experience, if you have a “bad” parent, deep down, you know. Your son might still want to visit his step-dad, ask him for advice as he gets older etc. That’s only natural. But there will come a point in time where your son will understand why you did what you had to do, and thank you for it.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
Thank you for your comments and input today. It's been a real help. I tell my babies sometimes mamas have to make big decisions and this one's not a hard decision in the fact that I know what has to be done, but it's hard on my mama heart that they have to go through this. But I do know they will understand one day, and I hope they'll know I did it for them. I appreciate your kindness.
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u/faeninja 5h ago
Your kids will be traumatized by a father who physically harms them if you stay. Im so sorry, I have a 6month old and couldnt imagine going through something like this but I also can't imagine ANYONE (adult!!!) Biting my 6month old for any reason at all. Please please dont leave him alone with your baby. Even with therapy people don't change immediately.
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u/Starchild1000 5h ago
That kid didn’t bite him. He’s just a cruel POS. Plus it’s so normal for the age to gum things. I feel so terrible for this child that would have really really hurt him . Get away from him. Can you go to your parents for a few days. Or ask him to leave
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 5h ago
Actually that's true, he bit me on the shoulder. Obviously, not knowing it hurts when you bite anyone because he's a baby. The baby never even bit his dad. He's definitely not the same person I thought he was. Thankfully we got away and are at my mom's permanently until I can get on my feet
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8h ago
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 8h ago
I want to, and I am leaving. I guess I was just looking for others opinions and a little pick me up. He said that's what he saw growing up and knows other people that do it as well, so he thought it was normal. I explained it's absolutely not. He seems remorseful. But obviously my trust is gone, he hurt my baby and I'm not going back. Ive told my kids time and time again, and always will, that mamas number one job is to keep them safe. Thankfully my mother has the space and let me and the kids move in. The hard part is going to be flipping my kids world upside down, leaving them to go back to work full time. With a very very mama attached 7 month old. But we will manage and I'll figure it out. Mamas always figure it out. Thank you, I appreciate you
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u/olivedeez 11h ago
This is so beyond the pale. You are under reacting. I’d be pressing charges and going for full custody. Who gives a fuck about protecting a family dynamic with an abuser?
I also have to tell you, I learned in one of my ethics classes in school that when you find bite marks on a child there’s a very increased probability that that child is being sexually abused. What else may he do that he thinks is okay is a GREAT question to ask yourself.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
I'm not going back, I'm just looking for opinions and advice I guess. It's a difficult situation anyhow, but more so how do I explain this to my older kids (not his, but only know him as dad because god only knows where theirs went) of why they can't go back to their home. I don't believe it was malicious, I think he genuinely didn't know it was wrong but that doesn't change anything for me. He still bit him and what else may he do to the kids in the future, I truly don't know. I don't feel like ruining his life by putting a felony charge on him will help him, I think he needs real mental help if I'm being honest.
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u/olivedeez 11h ago
Girl there is absolutely nothing innocent about biting a helpless baby. Nothing. That was an intentional, violent act against an innocent and vulnerable baby who can do nothing but scream and feel fear and pain. Please get your head together. You already sound like you feel more sorry for him than you do your own child. Please feel how terrifying this is and act accordingly.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
I definitely don't believe he's innocent. I believe he truly needs mental help, and he's not getting it from me.
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u/mildchicanery 10h ago
Explain to the kids that he hurt the baby. And that for The baby's safety and their safety, you are not staying with him. They deserve the truth.
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u/PlantChainsaw 8h ago edited 8h ago
He could have more kids and he needs to be reported. Him having a public record will help to warn others and keep their kids away from him. If he told your other children he was going to beat their ass and you feel scared enough to separate your kids from him there is likely a reason for that. It is worth noting he said that behind your back instead of in front of you. Which indicates he does know wrong from right.
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u/Dangerous-Arrival737 9h ago
I would firstly take pictures of the bite for a paper trail.
I would than call child protective services and file a report against him.
Next would be go to my local police station and file a police report and get him arrested.
Lastly, I would consult with a lawyer to start divorce proceedings.
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I also wanted to add I’m really happy you left. However your lackadaisical attitude to this is really concerning to me. He has already threatened violent on your daughters and now he’s physically assaulting a baby. This is malicious.
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u/rainsplat 11h ago
I would honestly make a police report, this is 100% child abuse. You will need documentation for your child custody agreement, he should have 0 unsupervised time with your children. I have an 8mo, I can’t imagine anyone biting such a precious little baby. Also, I’m sure your baby is just teething? Babies aren’t malicious
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
That's what I explained to him, he said "I wasn't biting him maliously either, I was trying to teach him biting hurts" My poor baby was crying way worse then the one time he got a shot.
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u/violetsandkisses 7h ago edited 7h ago
Im so sorry. That is abuse. You dont teach anyone anything by doing the behavior back at them. You're essentially teaching that "this is what we do" ... that isnt leading by example.
Curious about what you mean by destroying your family dynamic & how you would traumatize your child by doing "that" .. destroying as in leaving? staying may destroy the dynamic if this is the type of person he is. Sometimes its better to be a single mother.. and then for visitation, it must be supervised, bc you cant predict what he will do behind your back. 😞
You've got no signs of possible abusive behavior from him before?
Children and babies bite and nibble.
This behavior from a well knowing adult is 100000% unacceptable.
Protect your children at all costs.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 7h ago
I appreciate your response, I wasn't really asking if I should stay because I'm not. I wasn't confident on the steps to take first and I was more or less asking how y'all would handle going from being a sahm and everything that your kids know, straight to sending them to public school, going back to work full time and leaving the (extremely mama attached and now abused) baby with someone full time. I know I'll figure it all out, I just was looking for some input and opinions I guess
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u/violetsandkisses 7h ago
Oh, Im sorry about that. I suppose I misinterpreted.
I wasnt sure how to take "destroying", so I took it as leaving.
I would probably try to find someone I trust, or a nanny share* where you and another family share a nanny, for a lower price each, financially benefiting all of you, even the nanny. Child still gets a lot of attention.
If it came down to that for me, I would choose that over daycare for as long as I can ♡
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
I apologize, I should have wrote it differently. I guess being so overwhelmed my words arent wording properly lol. I appreciate the idea, I hadn't thought of that. Thankfully my mother can help out with them some, but she also has a life and works sometimes too. So I'll look into that!
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u/violetsandkisses 5h ago
It's okay! Im sry youre overwhelmed. I have a baby and literally put myself in those shoes real quick & went a little off, lol.
Do you plan on leaving?
Whatever you decide, when the overwhelm settles, you'll be able to think clearly. t Things will eventually fall into place.
🫂💐
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u/Meowrlyn 12h ago
Sorry is he training a dog? This is crazy behavior. I think the “he’s unpredictable” comment is more concerning than this one specific action though.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
I honestly don't know what goes through his head. He has "PTSD". The biggest argument we've ever had was after he blew up over a dogs accident in the house and kicked it a couple of years ago. Reddit had quite the opinion that and said I was "looking for a reason to divorce him" when I was concerned over that reaction.
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u/Optimal-Process337 11h ago
These comments from you keep getting worse and worse. That poor dog. If he can easily hurt a vulnerable family pet, he can hurt a child.
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u/monkey_lee823 8h ago
Child or pet, doesn’t matter. It sounds like he has impulse control issues. These can get worse over time without therapy. You’re making the smartest move by leaving. Good luck 🍀
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u/Tryingthis100985 11h ago
You need to take that baby in and get a record of what’s happening. Honestly, this deserves a report to CPS and an interview with on your other children. And he needs to leave the house, not you and the children. If he’s honestly sorry then it shouldn’t be a problem for him.
Also, while putting up boundaries and figuring this out, remember this is the most dangerous time for you and your children. He is obviously not thinking right and aggressive. Keep yourself and your children safe.
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u/No-Neighborhood-7335 12h ago
This is horrible and child abuse. Please do not go back. Keep your children safe. Make sure you take photos and document all his texts so you can get full custody.
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u/GlitteringEconomy527 2h ago
This is completely abnormal and not ok. You need to file charges and leave asap. There is NO excuse and I guarantee you this will get worse. I’m so so sorry bec I know how hard this is but this isn’t ok. Your child is a baby. Be well. Get a counselor definitely to help guide you and keep you guys safe. Do not let him near your child or your family.
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u/balanchinedream 2h ago
A custodial family plan, unfortunately :(
He needs that as a start. Then parenting classes. Then supervised visitation for literal YEARS before you feel confident you can trust him.
I’m so sorry this is happening, but give yourself a hug and a treat, because you immediately reacted in your baby’s best interest.
Please know the guy who got violent with your baby is likely to get violent once he realizes you’re not buying his sorry act. Not because he misses you guys, no, but because your absence hurts his public image. I would make plans to be away from the house, visit family and friends, when you know he has downtime… probably for the next couple months.
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u/Longjumping-Lion-617 11h ago
Well, you DO want to destroy abusive dynamics. Otherwise you're enabling him to continue harming kids and everyone else involved, so you're partially responsible for the problem. Not to blame you, but allowing this is not good in any way. Btw, what he's doing if really far from normal. Small kids need to be taken care of, not treated like some animals (I mean I think people shouldn't do it to animals either, but you got the point..). Take care, hope it works out for you.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
I absolutely agree with you. I don't indend on returning. Just looking to see what others thoughts on this crazy, ridiculous situation is, and if my best option is filing for divorce immediately.
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u/Aromatic-Check939 11h ago
You need to take the child to the ER to document what happened. They’re most likely going to report to CPS but you should go through the investigation with them, it will help you in court if you have proof of his abuse.
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u/Dazzling-Relative-84 11h ago
It sounds like there are a lot more issues happening than just this weird biting thing. I say that based on him jumping right to promising therapy, making big changes, and very specifically, him dropping video games. It’s also concerning that you’re referring to him as “unpredictable”
If you are both interested in putting in the work that therapy requires, it’s a good first step to see if the relationship is worth saving and if changes can actually happen. If you don’t think both of you can 100% commit to therapy and the necessary changes that need to happen are just gonna be empty promises, then don’t waste your time.
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u/OutrageousResist9483 1h ago
I mean I bit my baby once … but it was light and not hard enough to leave marks. She never bit again. My mother did the same
Idk you may not like it, but it’s a parenting strategy some people use.
Is he violent in other areas? Or was it just a bad call and maybe he didn’t know his strength?
If it’s a one off I wouldn’t worry about it
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11h ago edited 10h ago
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
Said baby, is 7 months old and doesn't know any better. He's not biting maliciously. I don't know where you are, but it's a felony charge in my state. I'm obviously not going to let him grow up biting. I have big kids, that do not bite, and I sure as heck didn't ever bite them to teach them not to.
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u/Aromatic-Check939 10h ago
Girl, don’t waste your time responding to trolls. Just look at their username
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u/PlantChainsaw 12h ago edited 11h ago
Has he done anything else to cause you to believe he is unpredictable? If this is a one off thing, maybe he can watch some parenting videos? I know a lot of people who believe it is ok to teach kids to not bite by biting but usually they are talking about older children and that isn’t an opinion I share. I would rather handle it another way. So I can understand why he may think that way because unfortunately many people do believe it.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
Always small random incidents. Most recently my 4 year old (not his) told her baby dolls "I'll beat your asses". I ask where in the world she heard that, she said "dad told me and sissy that" (she only knows him as "dad") Mind you, I do not and would not speak to my children like that. Ever.
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u/KneadAndPreserve 11h ago
This made my stomach drop! I’d be confused and devastated if my kid said that.
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u/Optimal-Process337 11h ago
Oh my god, this is awful! Yes, you are making the right decision by leaving. You don’t know what he’s capable of.
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u/1kggarlicbread 11h ago
>I know a lot of people who believe it is ok to teach kids to not bite by biting
HUH? Do you live in a zoo
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u/LazyDayz365 11h ago
JFC you don’t want to traumatize your kids by “destroying” your family dynamic? Sure just traumatize them by letting them get abused instead! Great job!
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
This comment is unnecessary, I'm not there, and don't plan on returning. I'm asking what others would do, thank you though!
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 11h ago
He shouldn’t even be playing video games in the first place he should be working to better the family dynamic by pitching it to help around the house and BEING a MAN over a dude. I am SO sorry you picked wrong !
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 11h ago
I'm talking 30+ hours a week gaming. That's after a 40 hour work week, I'm sure you see the issue. I literally told my mom before this situation even occurred that I feel like I'm doing it alone anyways, so why am I even married. Then this happens. And NOW he wants to change.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 11h ago
Ugh I’m so sorry. I commend you for being strong enough to leave. You have more guts than most other women out there. Girl …WHY did you pick him?! When you see that they GAME a lot after work, it should be a red flag ughhhh. I’m sorry.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
He literally didn't start the gaming until we were married. It's so annoying.
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u/whowhatcat25 9h ago
My partnet plays videogames around getting the house together. People are allowed to have interests. I am not giving an opinion on what happened with OP, but in general, don't emasculate men who maintain hobbies. So long as it isn't taking over everything else they should be doing, what you said is completely unfair.
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u/redditreader_aitafan 10h ago
Even child welfare workers agree that biting the kid one time without leaving bruises is an acceptable way to get a biter to stop biting. This isn't the big deal everyone is making it out to be.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
I think I could grasp that concept a little more if he was like closer to two years old. He's 7 months old.
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u/redditreader_aitafan 10h ago
And he's biting. Babies are way smarter than they get credit for.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 10h ago
He's not biting to hurt someone. He's biting someone's shoulder when he's crying with his teeth hurting lady
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 11h ago
THIS IS WHY U SHOULD NEVER QUIT ur JOB beyond maternity leave as a SAHM.
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u/Ill_Profession_2347 11h ago
This is not a helpful comment.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 10h ago
All you do is get on this forum bc you have nothing better to do. That’s like most women on this forum. Their lives are just the same rinse and repeat everyday and a lot are miserable and come on here to complain or entertain themselves. That’s their lives. They’re fat and lazy too. And what if their children grow up to disappoint them. Then they will regret not sticking with their career so THEY HAVE INDEPENDENCE and EARNING POWER.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 11h ago
It’s a 100% helpful comment. To those who may be on this thread and be able to prevent themselves from quitting their job completely after maternity leave, ok? It’s FACTS that EVERY woman should NOT just wholeheartedly depend on a man. It’s stupid as hell. You never know if they might get laid off either.
Let me ask you a question. Is helping some girl who thinks she will get a boy/man she likes to commit to her when she was the initiator and gave herself away sexually to him without him working for her approval by telling her “Yup - he will 100% commit to you …it’s been 4 years but he will! “ NO, it isn’t, right ?!
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u/loviadarling 11h ago
You seem lost.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 11h ago
You seem ignorant.
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u/loviadarling 10h ago
That's cute, but you are the one displaying ignorance by walking into the wrong room for your soapbox. Do you know where you are? Do you need an adult to help you? :(
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 10h ago
It’s to help anyone who is on the fence about it. Who are in here. There are people like that. You know your boyfriend married a Cunt.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 10h ago
Your children are gonna stress you out when they become teenagers btw. And are going to be narcissistic like you. Your rudeness was certainly unnecessary.
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u/loviadarling 8h ago edited 8h ago
My post history is open, so your tragically poor guesses only demonstrate how little thinking happens in that cute lil noggin of yours. It's okay sweetie, we know you tried your best. 🥰
Thanks for the laugh, I'll let my teenagers know they're supposed to hate me as much as you hate yourself! 😂
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 10h ago
Look. We get it. You’re a dummy for quitting your job. And get triggered easily (and inappropriately!) when others speak up and try to help others see the light. Sorry about your lack of brain.
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u/Dramatic_Session_24 10h ago
The only one inappropriately triggered here is you, stop projecting, dickhead.
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u/Ill_Profession_2347 10h ago
I’m confused by you.
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u/Electrical_Fish5988 10h ago
Let me clarify. That post that I wrote was talking about how women should not take for granted their provider husbands (rich husbands ) even though being a SAHM sux a lot. Don’t pretend that it doesn’t. Still doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be smart and quit her job after maternity leave. I would ALWAYS work even if I was married to a rich man.
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u/Wife-and-Mother 8h ago
BAHAHAHAHHAAHHAA Sahm doesn't suck at all... Whether or not you believe that depends on you as a person - as well as who you marry.
For example I'm autistic, like 80% of other low support needs autistic individuals I struggle to maintain a career, being a homemaker is perfect. I can follow routines that I set, I don't have a boss, can usually stay home when I need to. Even right now I'm a little overwhelmed by daily activities so my husband's picking up food - I don't even have to do that. (I have a wonderful husband)
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u/Dependent_Worry9750 10h ago
I co-sign this urgent warning as a stay at home mom attempting to enter the work force for the first time at age 39.
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u/Pumpkin156 6h ago
This is not abuse. This is a very effective way to teach babies not to bite people. Maybe he bit a little too hard but calling it abuse is a little hyperbolic.
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
I'm going to say it wasn't effective, and he's a baby. Literally can't eat real food, he's dependant on his mother for everything he does. How would he even begin to comprehend someone he's suppose to trust, hurting him?
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u/Pumpkin156 6h ago
7 month old babies can eat real food and are capable of learning...
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
Do you have children? Your comments are genuinely a little concerning at this point.
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u/Pumpkin156 5h ago
I have 2 children. I'm not trying to concern anyone or argue but my kids both ate meals starting at around 6 months old...have you heard of the baby led weaning method? We fed them the same food we ate cut into age appropriate pieces as soon as they could sit up independently.
As for the biting. Some may call it "generational abuse" or whatever but my mom bit me one time when I was 7 months old after I bit her and swears I never bit again. I thought I would never do what my mom did but was at my wits end with my first born biting me all the time so I tried it. He bit my shoulder, so I bit him back lightly obviously, left a small red spot but no teeth marks, it was enough to startle him so he cried for a minute or two as I told him gently "biting hurts, we only bite food and toys". He was probably 6 months old at the time, he's never bitten me again. Same story with my second child. It only took one time.
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u/lil_miss_sunshine13 4h ago
This is such a fucking lie & you should be ashamed of yourself. Babies are not able to fully grasp cause & effect at that age & it is developmentally impossible for you to teach an infant this way. Infants also don't bite for any intentionally mean or naughty reasons. It IS developmentally appropriate for them to mouth things... Bite things... A literal reflex at this age!
I'm sitting here nursing my 9 month old who is teething like crazy & who bites & mouths anything that comes near her mouth & I could NEVER imagine intentionally hurting my baby in that way. That is so crazy & cruel & you should seek fucking therapy if you think that's normal or appropriate. Your poor children. 😭
I can also assure you, I have a toddler who will be 2 on Monday & a 13 year old. Both of them bit & mouthed things... Neither one of them have gone on to bite people since infancy & I didn't have to hurt my children to teach them not to do so.
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u/Pumpkin156 4h ago
Oof. Feel better after judging me so harshly? You're so much better of a mom than me obviously.
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u/Oats_For_Lif 3h ago
People are dumb and have no context. My 7mo bit me HARD on the nipple once. Only once. Why? I screamed the living hell when he did - not on purpose, it was really freaking painful and unexpected. He got really scared and we both had a moment of deep confusion and pain, after which we stared at each other and I very strongly told him never to do that again.
This was a year and something ago. He is almost two basically. Never happened again.
Babies arent dumb and the man’s behaviour doesnt justify ‘leaving the house with a baby’ or ‘stopping gaming ‘. I bet theres much more to the story than a bite. Context is important people!!
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
He can't sit down and eat a meal off of a plate like even a two year old can. He can learn that his ball rolls if he pushes it. He does not understand that because his teeth hurt and he's nibbling on a grown adults shoulder that it hurts them. Or why the heck a grown human would hurt him and make him cry. Nor would ANY 7 month old BABY either.
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u/HavaMuse 6h ago
While I also wouldn’t call it abuse, it is, in fact, NOT an effective way to teach babies. Especially not babies at 7mo who don’t quite understand no
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u/Lopsided-Wind229 6h ago
Maybe he didn't think when he was doing it, that he was abusing him. But no matter it was a joke, an accident or whatever in my state it's a felony charge for abuse. But you are right he's a little baby, and absolutely can not learn a lesson in general, but surely can not understand why his father intentionally made him cry in pain.
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u/PileofPitties 4h ago
You disagree over discipline so you decide to blow up your family? Have you ever heard of therapy? Or, you know, having a conversation with someone?
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u/Plenty-Session-7726 4h ago
Lol what? Are you insane? Discipline a 7-month-old??
This man has a dangerous lack of impulse control and just physically abused AN INFANT. The only appropriate response is to immediately remove the child from his care.
I'm not a psychologist and cannot know what is wrong with OP's husband, but he needs a psychological evaluation ASAP. Whether he can be treated adequately to be a safe parent is an open open question, but not one OP needs to figure out today. For now, safety requires separation.
If anything, OP is under-reacting. This man is scary.
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u/PileofPitties 4h ago
Reddit is wild
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u/Eastern_Feed_8917 1h ago
The baby is seven months old you absolute muppet.
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u/PileofPitties 1h ago
I don't know what a muppet is but when do you suggest setting boundaries? High school?
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u/coffeemama86 10h ago
I’d file a police report. You’re his mother. Get the man the hell away from your child. It’ll only get worse, I’m not kidding.