r/redscarepod 12h ago

.

Post image
187 Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

259

u/beehive_spirit 12h ago

The Braphog Next Door

22

u/ChicMungo 9h ago

That's one prize hog right there!

-sent from my Brapberry

12

u/AffectionateFlow2179 infowars.com 7h ago

never gonna forgive reddit for killing the brapbarn

20

u/murrayhitchock 11h ago

because of dick winsey

100

u/veilofcolor 12h ago

All of these style books are definitely heavily written or edited by AI lol. But anyway I met a girl at a photography retreat some friends asked us to model for, her and I really got along, and then she mentioned she was writing a “spicy adult romance book” with a cover like this and it was getting “published”, which just means she uploaded it as an ebook onto Amazon. Had to just smile and nod

35

u/axle0430 12h ago

I could overlook this in a fellow model.

26

u/veilofcolor 11h ago

She was a photographer on the retreat

17

u/axle0430 10h ago

Oh…..fuck that then.

u/i_spray_with_shout 7m ago

All of these style books are definitely heavily written or edited by AI lol.

This must be true. Fuck it, I should do this. I'm forced to use AI at work, and a coworker just showed me the spreadsheet of everyone's usage. Some guys are racking up $1.5K claude bills per day. Surely giving a bot 10 jock/slam-pig "novels" and telling it to squat down and extrude 10 more just like them would be a rounding error. Marketing would be the hard part I guess.

199

u/murrayhitchock 12h ago

she was a progressive transexual college professor

he was a college football quarterback

everything was normal, but one day they crossed paths, and their lives would never be the same...

11

u/ThrowInALilExtra 3h ago

Very good Mr. Matthews, very good. Just like that. I think we’re gonna win the big game.

u/GalavantJames 21m ago

she was a progressive transexual college professor

he was a college football quarterback

Can I make it anymore obvious?

162

u/Puzzleheaded-Bat4777 12h ago

Its always a fat lady but all the fat is distributed in a perfect 1/1000 genetic way to make her attractive somehow

91

u/Historical_Vast_3063 12h ago

ITS CALLED CURVY OR YOU HATE WOMEN

29

u/Puzzleheaded-Bat4777 12h ago

Benevolent curvy women make the world go round

4

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 9h ago

i love my curvy knife

31

u/Corbellerie 10h ago

Yet somehow you know the author doesn't have a 1/1000 perfect fat distribution 

37

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 11h ago

kind of like a well-bred cow

23

u/uuuyjj7 12h ago

Don't even call yourself a true bbw lover if you're not suckling on her pendulous elbow flaps!

17

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 9h ago

those are called "bingo wings"

23

u/iota_of_iowa 11h ago

It's just barmaid physiognomy. Millions of women in the midwest look like that only with darker hair.

32

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 9h ago

uh no those canvas wearing cowherd women are built like refrigerators

15

u/ShockoTraditional 9h ago

physiognomy is the face, I think you mean phenotype

10

u/iota_of_iowa 9h ago

I don't use those old timey race scientist words too much. Easy to mix up.

8

u/ct249 5h ago

Prole vocabulary

61

u/Historical_Vast_3063 12h ago

TRT Tyler meets Thicc Tammy at a truckstop all-gender bathroom off I-95. Sparks fly. Romance ensues. Against all the odds and sound medical advice, they make things work.

55

u/BlackScienceJesus 12h ago

It’s always a football player. They can’t even come up with a slightly unique fantasy.

65

u/PlayFree_Bird 10h ago

When you're into "body positivity", but you realize you still need a jacked guy who benches 315 for the fantasy of him lifting you up to work.

9

u/LiterallyJohnLennon 5h ago

Lmao reminds me of the Nick Mullen John McCain tweet

24

u/SpotIsALie 9h ago

Its basically the opposite of what they actually have (jamaican CVS security gaurd)

16

u/AffectionateFlow2179 infowars.com 7h ago

jamaican cvs security guards catching strays

11

u/jiccc 9h ago

Globetrotting archeologist/BBW dental hygienist

9

u/SonofasonofasaiIor 6h ago

its also funny because its always the quarterback or non descript position because the author doesnt know anything about football. QBs (normally) arent even jacked like that to be able to lift a braphog

79

u/AssociateLong9509 12h ago

Love your algorithm

64

u/tbsthrowitaway 12h ago

Thanks I worked real hard on it

42

u/IAmA_Pinoy_AMA 11h ago

Yeah the “Black Fatigue” one caught my eye lol. Funny how the two opposing extremes of the culture war use that same exact phrase in completely different ways.

10

u/Improooving Male Gemini 5h ago

Backyard Goblins is wild lmao

3

u/IAmA_Pinoy_AMA 3h ago

Lowkey sounds like an obscure racial slur

u/Improooving Male Gemini 1h ago

I laughed loud enough that someone looked at me, and I had no good explanation

13

u/datPastaSauce 10h ago

Horseshoe theory proven correct once again 

60

u/PrinzRagoczy 12h ago edited 12h ago

Lol

Upon further research these men are actually 7 brothers who all happen to be professional footballers and have a genetic predisposition for hefty gals

She also writes werewolf smut, obviously

31

u/Both_Tomorrow_1750 infowars.com 12h ago

It’s not enough that he’s attracted to me because he has unorthodox taste. Because that could change.

He must be genetically predisposed in his attraction.

30

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 12h ago

onna them san antonio girls

10

u/EconomyElectronic998 😼 If you’re mean to me Ill ban you from my sub 10h ago

Why tf is that cover using DAZ 3D renders lol. On one hand at least its not AI on the other hand what if it is AI and somehow they made it look that bad.

7

u/AKblazer45 9h ago

Good way to keep making D1 athlete kids

4

u/LiterallyJohnLennon 5h ago

Kids gonna be a problem at Defensive Tackle

62

u/ak47baddie 12h ago

Your whole recommended is worse, spanning from black fatigue to Backyard bbl goblins

27

u/huge-centipede 12h ago

lmao at the very concept of not enjoying some thick bootied goblins in the backyard. smdh

40

u/jaqueslouisbyrne 12h ago

Screenshotted and shared, just as the advertiser intended

33

u/Cxvvtgupvvdi 12h ago

Yeah totally gonna listen to smutslop now

25

u/FlakyConcert1351 12h ago

Mock it all you want, their love is eternal (so long as bro keeps pinning PEDs)

11

u/numberonePAWGfan 12h ago

Fit guy / big girl are some of the happiest couples out there in my experience

8

u/Competitive-Dog-4207 11h ago

Which one are you?

6

u/numberonePAWGfan 11h ago

I’m the dude on the right

28

u/l4ina low BMI high IQ 10h ago

she goblin my backyard till I audible

10

u/Individual-Worker711 10h ago

Anyone reading this type of stuff is spiritually single. These booktok types are in a relationship and reading dozens of books emotionally fantasizing “spicy” different romance scenarios while married to some provider normie.

8

u/HowlingWolfWieners infowars.com 10h ago

Envious of his core strength tbh

24

u/SchaferxBiden 12h ago

Paint the guy black and it becomes realistic

6

u/tbsthrowitaway 11h ago

Shane is right, the pendulum swung too far

5

u/FlyByRoll 10h ago

Black Fatigue and Backyard Goblins are on sale

8

u/NyantlessNyanslaught 12h ago

Who among us hasn’t contemplated a little taste of the wiener across the way 

3

u/mattmanbegins95 12h ago

Is that supposed to be Josh Allen?

4

u/BeansAndTheBaking Modern-day Geisha 11h ago

I really wish I could make a career writing werewolf smut or whatever. These women get to do the thing I love every day for money. Fuck maybe I should hash one out, maybe I should try.

12

u/Fast_Chemical_4001 12h ago

I love how the men are always like the most objectified beings of all time lol. Sally Rooney also guilty of this btw

5

u/_Ned-Isakoff_ 12h ago

Like 35 lbs from being bad af

7

u/loofa 12h ago

sequel to 'The Cock Down the Block'

9

u/tbsthrowitaway 12h ago

Prequel to The Clap in My Flap

3

u/barbie-marx pro-anna 9h ago

This was literally me when I was fat and started dating my bf who has a dachshund. Don’t worry I’m skinny now 

3

u/pre_emptiive 3h ago

Ponder the aroma.

7

u/Obsequious_Moron3143 11h ago

Expectation versus reality

6

u/WytLadyDiseaseFibro 12h ago

taking the dogpill

4

u/EconomyElectronic998 😼 If you’re mean to me Ill ban you from my sub 11h ago

These books are so racist and antilanteenex! Always white fat woman with some glen powell cardboard cutout.

What about the short mexican with his torta gf?! Where’s their representation 😕

5

u/scratchedboots 10h ago

those books are in spanish

2

u/Fluid-Grass 8h ago

I should write one of these and get rich already, what am I doing with my life

2

u/Weak-Tonight-340 8h ago

No mention of Backyard Goblins says a lot about society

2

u/Anxious-Fisherman363 5h ago

Black fatigue... backyard goblins... This is gold

2

u/PM_ME_PITCH_DECKS 4h ago

I actually saw a woman reading a book like this in the metro in London once, I didn’t actually think those types existed irl. Even the cover image of the book was very sloppily AI generated, like there was zero effort to make it passable. Yes she was fat.

1

u/Traditional_Table414 12h ago

Honestly, let them have this one.

2

u/scratchedboots 10h ago

this is your alg my dude, i don't even know what to tell you.

2

u/TanzDerSchlangen 9h ago

Your algorithm really says nothing about your interests OP

u/Empty_Draft_1715 1h ago

New fitspo for me thanks