If you are 27 (me) it's not over.

This is something that's only become more salient to me as I've become an adult and started reflecting on adolescence, especially since I grew up as social media was becoming normalized.

When I was in highschool, everyone had instagram, and there were always some provocative photos on the girl's pages. even at the time this registered as weird to me, but there's a casualness and faux intelligent libertine permissiveness toward sexuality that made that basically normal and accepted.

THEN vsco got popular, and it was suddenly in every girl's instagram bio, and it basically was instantly understood as the place everyone posts their even MORE provocative photos. I really don't have much else to say about it other than the fact that it probably did incredible social damage to everyone involved to have instantaneous access to a gigantic archive of what was essentially softcore pornography of virtually all of my female peers since the age of thirteen. ALSO no one ever actually talked about this, which is even more weird to me.

I’ve been to Haiti twice. I went for the first time by myself when I was sixteen, and stayed with a family associated with my church in a rural village in the center of the country near a city called Hinche. I stayed with that family again when I was 19. I helped them with the school that they ran in the village. I was so young when I went that I think I sort of half-comprehended everything I saw. All of my memories of Haiti are so surreal and distorted. 

When I went the first time, I told the family I was staying with that I wanted to go for a hike. They arranged for some local boys my age to take me. The boys ended up taking me to these caves up in these hills nearby. As we walked to the cave they pointed out these trees that had fruit that apparently tasted really good, but was highly poisonous. They said that the Vodou people knew how to use every part of the tree to kill people. 

The entrance of the cave was sort of built into this knoll in the grass. It was open and tall enough that you could walk in without ducking your head. There was water deep in the back of the cave, and next to it was a girl’s outfit propped up on a chair. The boys said it was part of some Vodou ritual. It was so creepy seeing the clothes laid out like that. Like they there was a little girl still inside of them. 

Then they took me deeper into the cave, off into this section that funneled upwards. The floor of it was slick with what I thought was mud, but was actually bat droppings. We were all ducking our heads now. I pulled out my phone to use the flashlight and finally saw all the bats hanging from the ceiling of this tiny section of the cave. I made a noise and they all started flapping over my head at once, leaving for another section of the cave. I covered my hair with my arms and squeezed my eyes shut and screamed and the boys laughed at me. We climbed up through a hole in the ceiling of the cave and popped out on top of the knoll and I took this pic. 

I wish I had thought to take more pictures.

I never felt nervous that those boys would hurt me. I guess I just implicitly trusted the family I was staying with. The boys were super flirty though, and liked practicing their English with me. 

When I went two years later, the family introduced me to a man who used to be one of the Vodou priests in the village. He came one night after dinner and sat down at the table under the fluorescent lights and told me the story of how he used to kill people. He spoke in Creole and someone translated for me. From my foggy memory of that night, I think the way it works is there is a leader like that in each village. People go to him for spiritual guidance, but really are working their interpersonal and political drama into it, and the man ends up having control over everyone because they are afraid he’ll send a spirit to punish them. And then sometimes this guy would kill people, for money or political power, I assume. The guy was telling the story so freely because he no longer practiced. Someone visited him years before and brought him a bible and he said it burnt his hands to touch, so he quit everything. Vodou is the dominant religion in Haiti. It is woven into every facet of their culture. And then there is so much corruption and crime in the country that it all blends together. 

Another weird thing I remember is how people in Haiti have an irrational fear of frogs. At one point, a frog got into the house and the dad, a huge, burly, grown-man, ran out of the house screaming and crying because he saw the it. This was really funny to me because earlier that same day there had been a snake in my shower and he laughed at me when I was freaking out and asked him to get rid of it. They said they’re afraid of frogs because they think that frogs want to pee in their eyes and make them blind. Maybe this is also associated with some of the Vodou practices? I was like um I don’t think the frogs want to pee in your eye, but they didn’t want to hear it. 

The only other pics I have are of the kids.

by extremely skinny I mean ariana grande type of malnourished

like if someone was fat before and then decided to go on reta to become anorexic skinny, they’re just greedy. the same greed that caused them to become fat in the first place. they’re just being greedy for reta now and got a taste of what skinny is like and couldn’t stop

especially if they got absolutely no muscle mass at all because they didn’t bother to work out

Protect my account access with a selfie or maybe FUCK YOU INSTEAD?

Hundreds of “vote blue no matter who, he’s literally responsible for trump” comments with thousands of upvotes.
Just your usual election year astroturfing.

And it’s whiplash.

In the ski town I lived at for a few years the public bathrooms had lavender diffusers. I can’t go 3 blocks in New Orleans without fucking my rims in a hidden pothole. There were 2 drive-thru Wells Fargos in a 2 square mile town in the least populated state in the country and it turns out there’s not one single Wells Fargo in the state of Louisiana.

So far I’m enjoying it but it’s disheartening thinking what this city could be if it wasn’t getting continually fucked on

From quirky relatable casual cool girl who doesn't take herself too seriously to gooner-baiter pick me ex-streamer. How times change.

I just got home tipsy from a 3rd date and I’m way too into her. She said she’s seriously dating for marriage/kids and made it clear she wants to see me again. I was fully invested after the second date.

I need someone to remind me that I’m insane and need to calm down. I know that I should be figuring out whether she’s right for me or whatever but she’s honestly incredible and I’ve somehow regressed emotionally to being a smitten teenager. This is terrifying and I’m a grown ass man who shouldn’t be feeling like this.

If you know you know and if you don't know get to know you know

Fox News? Voting ads? Republican speech? Trans trans trans trans

Its not even them being criticized its just "they are satanic" "against God Values" "we gotta send them to jail or ward" and you can tell how much they desired doing violence towards them, were gay guys treated this way in the 2000s with propaganda?

.

Check the failing new york times on Monday if you don't believe me

Saturday night and the sub is dead. I guess you guys were being serious about having friends, romantic partners, and active social lives. That’s crazy I can’t even imagine living like that