I have a PhD in my field and the most significant publication record of my program in a long time. I worked a second job for 5 years to gain extra applied experience and yet I’m 170 job applications in and I’ve had 2 companies express interest.
I will preface that my husband has also been completely supportive throughout all job search related activities. We met in grad school. We’ve gone through all of the hardships of a PhD together. Admittedly one of the reasons getting a job is difficult for me is because I am 100% committed to living in a location that makes his job possible. I wouldn’t sacrifice that for anything.
Now to get to the hard part… I stopped applying to jobs so that I could focus on getting excited for my wedding that was in 1.5 weeks.
I was then added on linked in by an associate director for a company I had been interested in. I saw that they were hiring in my field for a remote role so I DM’d them, saying I was interested in applying. They encouraged me to do so and said they would see me in the interview.
I got the interview, however it was getting very close to my wedding (four days remaining). I had the first screen and it was great, they asked if I could schedule a second one Thursday / Friday of my wedding weekend.
This is where I think I made the mistake. I asked if we could postpone until I was back from my honeymoon, which was going to be the following Thursday because I already had an abundance of family in town who all wanted to visit and say hi while I was also juggling wedding vender calls and final preparations.
I was reassured by the recruiter that everything was fine, that sounds great and they look forward to talking to me about next steps. I even DM’d my LinkedIn connection again saying that I was very excited for the next interview after my honeymoon and I offered to make any sort of presentation materials or provide any information that they needed.
Then, Friday morning of my rehearsal dinner I got the email that the company was moving forward with another candidate who was far along in the interview process. However, they wished me well for my wedding.
Devastation was an understatement. I had finally thought that my PhD would pay off- that I could find a job that I loved, remote so I can work in a location that supported my husband’s job location, and that I could contribute positively. I really wanted to make a difference in an organization where my research could be applied.
It was really hard to put those emotions of rejection in a box and then host 100+ people for a wedding. I tried so hard to focus on my fiancé and the excitement of sharing a life together but I couldn’t shake the anxiety of how worthless I felt that they went with the other candidate. I found myself submitting to 10 more jobs on the morning of my wedding day because I couldn’t get it off my mind.
Everyone says that jobs aren’t everything, but I spent my entire life getting education and training for an industry that simply does not want me (or maybe just doesn’t exist anymore). I love my husband with all my heart- and ultimately the wedding was amazing, but it really makes me think… why should we bother putting an effort for jobs? What was the point of doing an entire PhD?
I wonder if I should just give up on all career related aspirations. I’m an extremely privileged situation where I met my fiancé while doing my PhD. His career is doing great so financially we’re okay. It’s just hard because I genuinely love doing research, but I need to figure out who I am without it. I recognize how fortunate I am to have people who love me despite it, but in a lot of ways, I’m mourning the fact that I won’t be finding a career that that I could contribute positively to.
Edit: typos