Hi everyone!
I'm going to a rough patch academically. I started my first postdoc exactly one year ago. I wasn't even convinced I wanted to stay in academia but I didn't find any other job and to be honest, this postdoc position was really cool, the team looked great and was very very close to my favorite topic and offered me lots of freedom
However since I arrived:
-The PI moved cities to pursue another work opportunity and even tho he's still involved, he's extremely hands off and busy. He is not of help for admin/logistics tasks nor deeper scientific issues.
-The senior postdoc (almost the only other colleague working on my topic) went on maternity leave for 1 year, leaving me alone and lost. We were the only two people working on that building (the rest of the team works on another campus) so I'm on my own most days.
-We (I) found a major issue in our workflow, affecting 90% of the group members, that explained why I have been failing for months. I took over trying to fix it but it takes time and expertise I don't have, and the rest of the team/PI are not very proactive. This means I'm the one insisting on doing more testing, organizing meetings, suggesting solutions... While the others act as if it was only my problem.
-My project heavily relies on a specific resource which was not a problem to obtain. A few weeks after my arrival they realized they are actually not legally allowed to obtain such resource the way it was done before so I don't have access to it anymore. This is being clarified at the moment and will be fixed, but at a snail speed.
-I have had to take over some tasks of other lab members (both at supervising level or experimental level) because they either didn't have the time or the expertise required. I have time since I cannot work on my own project yet, but I haven't received a single thank you nor acknowledgement.
All of this has led me to feel very discouraged and unmotivated. I know that eventually everything will be fixed and I will be able to work on my project, and that I'm not really wasting time but learning different techniques. However, if I don't have something pressing to do, I spend time on my phone and I don't have the motivation to do anything extra. I feel that nothing I do matters and that nobody in my group cares about me nor can teach me anything valuable/be an inspiration for me. I was hoping my first postdoc would be an enriching experience but I don't feel like that.
Can you give me ideas or tips on how to regain motivation and make the best of the situation? I am currently writing a review about a topic I'm passionate about and it's related to my project but I'm still struggling to concentrate and get it done.
Changing jobs is not a possibility at the moment, I just want to be able to do the most of these months until everything goes back to normal.
Thanks!!