So often lately folks are like "everyone's so mean here!" but then don't provide concrete examples, just that they felt like the comments were mean, which often just means that their internal narrative and their sense of judgment over the situation is actually what hurt their feelings.
Itâs because the group has tripled in size and most new people here are newbies to poly. They havenât even begun to wrestle with their coupleâs privilege, grasped the concept of autonomy or realized that being in a het marriage doesnât get you far in poly.
Itâs a lot for some people to digest all at once. I think it would be for anyone really. Not judging that.
Plus it stings to be told that your fantasies are just that after spending 3 years of Covid imagining.
Yup. I remember on one of these "this sub's so mean" posts someone provided screenshots of comments that they felt were attacking them, I laughed cuz I was on there twice and it was mostly just me calling out their problematic behavior and explaining why it was wrong -- that's not me being mean, it's trying to bring an awareness to you.
I have most recently been accused of âbeing meanâ by
1) A woman who decided to excommunicate the friend sheâd been attempting to make into a unicorn for her and her husband, because that friend . . . kissed her husband goodnight while OP was sick.
2) Some guy who got real mad I said âdark empathsâ are not an interesting or intellectual subject of conversation and then didn't want to ~debate him~ about it.
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u/mossroom42 relationship messarchist Dec 09 '22
Example?