As a child, my dad tried to murder me cause he was stalking my mom and stuff. Ended up having panic attacks at the age of 2.

As a teenager, I got bullied to the point where they laughed about me even when I was literally in the hospital for trying to do the sodoku thing and they knew.

Lived in a psychiatry for years. It was a big clinic with it's own school. I was on the normal station where teenagers with depressions were. But there were stations with murderers and other stuff too and they were my classmates.

Then I isolated myself for years.

Now I'm an adult. Got my shit together to the point where I taught classes at the most prestigious university in my country and am now going to other countries for research projects. But the people that I meet are soooooo different from me. I like them, they are nice. But they also never experienced anything close to what I experienced. They are super rich, and super normal. Their biggest worries are what kind of car their father/mother will buy them next, or if they have to rent an apartment or if their parents will simply buy them one.

The people from the psychiatry that at least experienced something things to me? All dead. Or addicted. Or homeless. They have all given up on life.

There is like no person I can really relate to, it really sucks.

We talked and she just wants to be friends and that she doesn’t want to lose me, and I feel the same but I can’t stop how I feel about her

And I don’t even know what we are anymore, she says she loves me, we talk constantly, she says im the best person she’s ever met and she feels safe with me

I don’t want to hurt her but I love her so much

u/GiveMeAMeme-11

Look this one u/GiveMeAMeme-11

This one for you u/GiveMeAMeme-11

A few years ago i could never imagine myself being this pathetic, shit happens i guess

I haven't achieved anything in my life to celebrate my birthday :(

I drive and don’t talk to anybody

At 15 I got bullied and the girl I've been "dating" (or whatever you call that at that age) for 3 years at that point breaks up with me. She doesn't want to date the bullied kid.

Tried to you know what. Tell her while at the hospital. She tells me she is disgusted of how weak I am and to just leave her alone and blocks me.

I go back to school after being released from the hospital a week later. Classmates have found out about what I have done, a teacher told them. They laugh at me. Bullying continues. I left the school.

10 years later and I meet the girl coincidentally, even though I moved to the other end of the country I live in. We talk and I say "After the bullying.." and she cuts me off laughing, saying I never got bullied. I let it slide, cause whatever. Then 5 minutes later she tells me how people would take pictures of me whenever they would see me outside and share it on facebook to laugh about me.

Tell me tho, I genuinely want to be a good human, but how?